Whats worse than falling onto dirt ground?

Falling on a dirt man.

I mean a literal man made of dirt.

"AUGH!" He yowls as I crash down on top of him.

Ha ha.

Verrryyy funny.

You authors just LOVE making awkward situations, don't you?

All the more reason to get out of this crazy book.

"Sorry!" I squeak.

Well... at least he cushioned my fall... somehow.

"Please get off me..." he pleads.

I get off him, turning to take a better look.

He slowly gets up, his crumbly ground skin dropping a few bits. His back has a butt mark thanks to my landing.

"Uh... you got a little something on your..." I begin, pointing at my butt mark.

He looks at it, shrugs, as dirt fills it in, making a smooth back again.

Thank goodness.

I didnt want him walking around with my butt mark on display.

Though... the author would have had a good laugh at that, wouldn't she?

Ahh, and dont forget the readers.

Hi there.

And don't you start telling the author to keep my butt mark on dirt men.

"Where did you come from? I didn't see you!" The dirt man asks, rubbing his back, as if trying to confirm my butt was no longer carved into his body.

"Up there." I say, pointing above to the hill.

"Oh. Well." He says, dusting himself off.

How does he dust himself off? He is MADE of dust.

"Welcome to the village, I guess." He mumbles.

"Right... uhh... don't suppose you guys are packed to go?"

"Go?" He frowns. "Why would we go anywhere?"

"Alright, you do know this world, book, is closing, right?"

He narrows his black eyes, trying to proccess this. "Its... closing..? A..Already?!"

I nod. "Yeap."

"Th..Then we have to get out of here!" He exclaims, eyes wide. "How many chapters do we have?"

I do a mental calculation.

"30 - 2... 28."

"What?!" He yelps. "Then we have to go!"

I nod. "Come on, lets gather up everyone in your village and-"

"Oh... about that..." His gaze falls to his dusty feet. "Ah... getting my village to go... wont be possible."

I sigh, nodding, having prepared for this. "I see."

"My people... we Dirt men dont really get out much. They wont bother with going out. They'll probably laze about here even if the world was to explode." He chuckles nervously.

"But.. do you know anyone who would be willing to come?" I ask.

"I do know two..." He notes.

"Then tell them we have to leave soon." I say. "Pack your bags with only what you need."

"We have a lot of running to do."