Chapter 10

There was this gnawing feeling in my stomach, I think it was my lunch wanting to come back out but it may well be the nervousness that I couldn't shake since I met Kongpob again.

Today has been so stressful, more stressful than my two years of university all because of Kongpob. When I think about how he appeared in my life again the only word that comes to mind was typical. It is just like Kongpob to use me to escape uncomfortable situations. Talk about déjà vu without the running and the night spent together.

I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise that Kongpob was still going to marry her and had not really escaped from it as I had thought. He still has no freedom, I reasoned as I walked towards the bus station. Neither of us did, I guess.

A honking sound distracted me from my quiet walk and I jumped aside to avoid the car. How distracted am I that I didn't even notice the car. It was a red ciannna and it stopped next to me. The windows rolled down and the person I was just thinking about grinned at me from within.

"Kongpob?" I thought he was long gone by now. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting to pick you."

I sighed, letting my expression turn blank. "I thought we were done talking."

"No, we are not."

"Yes we are, I told you that I don't want to be friends with a guy like you." I started to walk away.

"Hey, you didn't quite put it like that. What do you mean a guy like me? Hey, P'Arthit wait, at least let me give you a ride."

"I don't want it."

"Is it that you hate me? or something..."

I had come to a stop at the word hate. Did I hate him? My eyes found his face and I shook my head. Maybe the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about him after four years, or the fact that I haven't been able to date anyone because everyone that has ever come along has not been able to make me feel like he does should make me hate him a little bit, but I don't hate him, hate him. I just wished I could forget him. Holding on to the hope that something could come out of this was only going to hurt me in the end.

"Then what is the matter, why won't you give me a chance?" his voice drew the attention of people passing by and my stomach gave an uncomfortable squeeze.

"Whatever," I said and turned around to enter the passenger side of the car. He looked so happy silly that I wanted to laugh but I kept a serious face and said, "What are you waiting for, just drive."

Inside Kongpob's car was cool from the ac and it smelled new. Perhaps he had just bought it. I glanced his way, my eyes lingering on his face, the sharp jaw line, his straight nose and his altogether, generally good looking appearance with a charming smile he wasn't stingy about sharing.

He caught me looking and I forced down the blush I could feel rising to my face. "What," I said with surly voice.

"What, what. Did I interrupt your staring, you can keep looking, I just wanted to look back."

My face warmed and I pointedly stared out the window. "What are you saying, idiot."

I could feel him grinning. "I'd like to think that I have grown up quite a bit over the years, have I, P'Arthit."

"No," I said simply, my flush fading. "You look exactly the same."

"That's not possible. Look again P'Arthit, come on you will notice the difference."

"Even if you are different what does it have to do with anything."

"Nothing, I just thought you would like to, you know, keep looking at me."

I sighed. He is doing it again, pulling me in. he hasn't changed one bit and I... I have changed. I don't know why Kongpob had to come back into my life like this but it can't mean anything good. Before Kongpob sees how different my life has become I have to chase him away.

I secretly glanced at him again and he looked happy, as if my seating in his car was the most pleasurable experience he has had in a while. Just what does he want from me, this Kongpob. No, I shouldn't think like that. Trying to understand him was just a waste of time.

"I'm here," I directed him to stop in front of a building after we bent the corner out of the road.

He got out of the car as I did and was looking at the building I lived in. It was not an apartment complex or a hostel, as I am sure Kongpob was thinking. I held back a grimace as my stomach squeezed again.

"Is this where you live, P'Arthit? it looks like a normal house."

"It is a normal house," I said regretfully. I probably shouldn't have brought him here. "I don't want you to take this as an excuse to come here anytime you want."

"Of course not, I will at least call you first before coming."

"No, that's not what I meant..."

"Are you going to invite me inside?"

I frowned at him." why would I do that?"

"Because I asked nicely."

"There's nothing to see here," I said.

"Come on, P'Arthit, Please?" he held his hands palm pressed together at me. I sighed again and shrugged.

"You are exactly the same," I said with some bit of spite. "Just doing whatever you want without consideration to the other person."

"I know, and if you don't mind I want to keep being this way."

That serious tone of voice had me staring at him. He wasn't smiling and acting like everything was a joke anymore. He was serious. "What am I supposed to do then?"

"Just let me be. It wouldn't cost you anything. After all you don't love me anymore do you? Say, P'Arthit, do you have a girlfriend?"

The question didn't take me off guard like Kongpob was expecting it to. I just stared at him and said, "Not that it is any of your business but yes I do."

He started a bit even though he tried not to show me. I could tell from the rise of his shoulder even though it was only slightly. Why was he so surprised? He wasn't interested in me but I think he thinks that I am still interested him. If I pretend to have a girlfriend then maybe he would go away. Just what is he thinking? My curiosity to know his thoughts was too strong, I almost asked.

"If you want to come inside then come." I turned and walked to the front of my house. I could tell no one was in so I used my key and opened the door.

Kongpob was following behind me and I was so aware of him. I listened to his steps, the way he bumped into the flower vase my mother insisted on keeping by the door and how his head was turning around the small living room.

I tried my best to ignore Kongpob when he stopped by the hallway and watched some of the few pictures on the wall.

"Ah so that is your mom, "he said taking a look at the picture my mom had taken when she had traveled to Spain. It was one of the rare moments when she was very happy and without any of the burden that came with life.

I went to the fridge without responding and took out a jog of water. I was hoping that a cool drink would calm my irritated stomach.

"So I see where you get your good looks from." I toss a look his way casually as he moved from picture to picture. "I don't think I know who this is but she looks very familiar. P'Arthit I don't think you have a sister."

My brow twitched with a slight irritation but I kept myself from shouting at him. Walking over with my glass of water I said, "What exactly do you know about me."

"Not much, I'll admit but if you had a sister I would think I would have heard or seen her at least once in school." He straightened and grabbed my water. "Ah, thanks."

Before I could speak he downed the whole thing. "Hey, that wasn't for you, "I said, glaring.

"hm? " he looked at the glass and at my annoyed face. "opps sorry, were you drinking that."

I sighed, it was nothing to get bent out of shape for, but then he said, "oh just think about it as an indirect kiss and let it go."

If I was holding something in my hand it would have snapped. He was getting deeply under my skin. "Who says I want an indirect kiss from someone like you."

"Come on, is it that disgusting. Four years ago you used to like me so it can't be."

I cringed. "Am I never going to hear the end of that with you around?"

"Maybe after I meet your girlfriend."

"I never said you were going to meet her." She is non-existent after all. Grabbing the glass back I tried to ignore him and walk back to pour myself another glass of water.

"Then how would we get to share fond memories about you."

I scoffed. "Somehow that became something you have to worry about."

"Well as your best friend I should give my approval."

"haha, very funny. Hurry up and go back to where you crawled out from."

He laughed and came over to me with a slight bounce to his steps. "P'Arthit you are so funny, so easy to tease. Do you have any idea how much I missed you."

I paused my drinking and stared at him from the rim of the glass. He stared back with a wide grin. I won't let him get a rise out of me but he looks... he looks happy. Was he always like this? I can't remember.

"Now that you've said that exactly how am I supposed to react," I said and poured what was left of the water down the drain.

"Don't know. I just wanted you to know, that I missed you and even if I am being stupid and making no sense to you, I hope you won't hate me too much."

"What else is new," I said with an irritated snort. Understanding you isn't something I have the time to waste on. "Now if you are done leave quickly I have somewhere to be."

"Right now? Is your stomach fine now?" We stare at each other. "I saw you grinding your teeth and favoring your stomach earlier."

"Oh really, how perceptive of you. I hope you know that you are partly the cause."

"But what is wrong. "

"... Ulcer" I didn't want to tell him but ended up doing so anyway. What, did I want him to fawn over me, he was already going too far as it is. Anymore and I will go crazy and strangle him or do something else.

"Ulcer. Then do you have drugs."

"I'm out, I'll get some on the way so—"

"If you are in pain then going out won't do, let me go get the drug for you. I will also get you something to eat."

I let out a wary sigh. "You don't have to do that." Actually the pain wasn't getting any better and going to see my father right now with cold sweat from pain endurance wasn't very appealing but I would be late if I waited anymore.

"I want to do that. Just wait here and tell me what drugs you normally take."

"If that's the case let's just go together." I walk past him heading for the door. He followed behind and pulled the door closed.

"Are you in a hurry?"

"Kind of. I have work."

"You work and attend school," said he with some level of amazement.

"Everyone does, Kongpob, but I guess you wouldn't know about it."

"Ouch, P'Arthit is being very condescending to me."

I smirked off to the side.

"It's not my fault that my parents are wealthy."

As soon as we got out of the small gate I spotted Rin coming back. She had some bags with her and I subconsciously took one.

"It's the girl from the picture, "said Kongpob from behind me.

"Kongpob?" Rin said. I was hoping she wouldn't immediately recognize Kongpob but that hope was dashed. I nervously stood aside as the two of them looked each other up.

"You know me?" he glanced between me and Rin, probably expecting me to say something. I didn't.

"Yes, don't you remember me, I'm Rin. Head girl?"

Kongpob's eyes go wide. "That P'Rin? Wow, just wow."

I understood why he couldn't recognize her. In school Rin had been the quite shy type who dressed conservatively whereas now she wore thick makeup and there was nothing conservative about her. Her long hair was also cropped very short and dyed blonde. Who wouldn't fail to recognize her?

"wow, you are like a whole other person. I saw your picture in P'Arthit's house and thought you were his sister."

She laughed, "I live with Arthit and his mom, that's why."

Kongpob's flow of words came to an abrupt stop almost visibly. I stare at him and didn't avoid his eyes when he looked back. I won't explain something that wasn't any of his business.

"Are you two going out?" Rin asked.

"yes," I replied. "let me take this to the house for you." I grabbed the other bag and took them in while pretending not to notice Kongpob's tension.

I came back and Kongpob was smiling again. "Wow, time really does fly."

"Yes," Rin answered amicably. She may look like a street thug now but she still talked the same. Life hadn't been fair to Rin and this was the product. "Oh Arthit, are you going to work now? You are running a little late aren't you?"

"Yes. I will try to come back early."

"okay." With that she turned and walked to the house.

"Wow, so that's P'Rin if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have believed it. "

"Are we going?"

"Sure."

We enter the car and started off in calm silence, then "so that's your type, P'Arthit."

"What's my type." I looked from the side at his smiling profile.

"P'Rin. She did a complete makeover. I didn't know P'Arthit liked girls like that. I didn't know P'Arthit liked girls at all."

"What are you talking about?" I let out a sigh.

"Rin, I just told you. She is... she is your girlfriend right?"

I kept getting sidelong looks that I don't know what to do with. I pretend not to understand." Why do you think that?"

"She lives with you and she all but admitted it."

That made me blink and sit up a little. "Rin did? Did you ask her and she directly admitted it?"

"Of course not, I was too nervous."

I furrow my brow. What did he have to be nervous about?"Then how did you come to the conclusion that she is my girlfriend."

"isn't she?" he was smiling but I was sensing that his smile wasn't really sincere. I glance out the window with an irritated grunt. What was his problem?

"If I say that she is will you stop talking about it."

"P'Arthit, you are such a good boyfriend, "he chuckled.

"I guess you aren't dropping it then," I muttered under my breath.

We were like this till I got my medicine, took it, tried to send Kongpob off many times but the idiot still took me to my father's company. He told me to call him and left his number with me even though I said repeatedly and vehemently that I won't. The idiot ignored my every protest and left while smiling.

I stare his car off the road and couldn't do anything but feel restless. Kongpob still wants to stick to me even with the fact that I have a girlfriend. I had only said that because I didn't want him to think I was still pining after him but that didn't work, or maybe it worked too well. Kongpob seemed relieved.

Irritated at myself I decided not to think about it anymore. Just like in the past I can't understand Kongpob, trying to would only cause me heartache.

After a grueling day at my father's office where I was still learning the ropes of the business, I came home as usual. I wasn't the type that liked to party or to hang out with friends. I didn't even like drinking though I did occasionally at the company's gathering and at certain meetings. I haven't made my debut yet as my father's son and heir to his company and I still had a lot to learn. My father still doesn't acknowledge me.

I was expecting the house to be completely quiet with everyone sleeping in their bedrooms but there was a little glow in the living room. Taking off my shoes, I stared at the light from the desk then slowly moved my gaze to the figure curled up on the chair with a book in her hand.

She looked very serene, a picture of focus as if whatever was in that book was more important than everything else. I move away from the door making little noise with my barefoot on the wood floors.

"Dinner is in the fridge," she said, causing my movement to turn towards the kitchen. I found the food and looked at it with disinterest.

"Don't stare at the food as if it is dog poop. There's pink milk in there as well.

I gifted her a smile, "you know me so well."

A soft sigh left her lips as I warmed the food and took out the pink milk. I heard her move over to the stool by the counter.

"I take it your day ended well."

The pink milk was nice and cold and I sipped a long draw. "As well as usual."

"As well as usual. Who are you trying to fool?"

I didn't mind her snarky tone and continued to ignore her looks. She wanted something and I didn't care to talk about it. If I am lucky she would lose interest.

"How long have you Kongpob been so close?"

"We are not close."

"But you brought him home."

I shrugged. "So?"

"So you hardly bring people home. "She stared at me while leaning forward. "Am I missing something? Did you people have such a good relationship before?"

I let out a small laugh, "Rin, you are being dramatic."

She laughed a derisive laugh that was plain rude. "Oh, I'm being dramatic? Who was it that said they couldn't bear to meet Kongpob again? Who was it talking about finding him like a crazy person?"

"Who was it?"

"Don't mess with me." I chuckled dryly at her annoyed smack of my hand. "Be serious. How long have you guys been reunited."

I lifted two fingers. "Two days?!" her astonishment was unwarranted as far as I was  concerned.

"Keep your voice down or you'll wake mom."

"Well, she has to know. The boy that you've spent four years missing and cursing is back in your life. I'm sure she would want to know that."

"You sure love to exaggerate, I didn't spend the entire time missing or cursing Kong... at least I would like it if you didn't make it such public notice."

"Whatever." She waved me off like I was talking nonsense. "So, then what are you going to do. Meeting someone you've liked since high school and the fact that you are still in love with them—"

"Not so fast," I raised a hand, "when did I say that I am still in love with Kongpob."

"Aren't you?"

"You are too much of a romantic aren't you, Rin. Just what kind of rose glasses are you wearing to go through life. "

Her eyes were like daggers. "You haven't dated anyone since high school, you reject anyone who asks you out, you also—"

Her words were cut off abruptly that I had to give her a serious look. "What are you trying to say that you can't say."

"Well today, you and Kongpob looked... really good together. Also, I didn't know you could show such an expression."

"Expression? You mean my madly exasperated expression?"

"Yes, your uncontrollably fond exasperation, Arthit. You still love Kongpob. You still want to be with him, admit it at least to yourself."

I stare at her with a smile, "I don't have that kind of luxury, Rin. Plus you must think I am some kind of masochist but I don't get my rocks off on getting rejected over and over again."

"Again? I thought you were only rejected once."

"If you count that time at the island and when we said goodbye that is two and then he told me his story. I think it's best to just take the hint already that I am not wanted. With that, I can just move one with my life."

"Is that why you told him you have a girlfriend?"

"hm hm." I pretended my mouth is occupied by the straw but my pink milk was long gone.

Rin sighed at me and with an elderly tone, "just what am I going to do with you."

"Look," I said flushing a little, "you figured out everything without me saying anything to you, and Kong would definitely figure me out too. I can't handle that. I needed a buffer."

"So you chose poor little me."

"I didn't, you were the one who insinuated yourself into it."

"hm? You didn't tell him that I was your girlfriend?" she looked honestly startled.

"No, I only said I had one, that's all. Imagine my surprise when Kong said that you admitted to being my girlfriend."

Her face went red slightly then she angrily hit me on the shoulder. "That's because you didn't even tell me anything and Kongpob was just already treating me like your girlfriend. Knowing what I know I just kinda went along with it."

I gave her a bleary eye. "I am not going to do that thing where we pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend for Kong's benefit."

"Like I want to do that. Arthit you must be letting all the fame get to your head, you aren't my type at all."

"As if being your type is something that would make me happy."

"Makes me even less happy, humph."

"hahaha..." someone started laughing. Both of us turn to see my mother in her nightwear laughing by the door.

"I was wondering what the noise was about and it's to see you two fighting." She rubbed at her eyes and I knew she had been asleep.

"Sorry for waking you mom," I said.

"It's fine, I wanted to see you but I was too tired to stay awake."

"Why try to stay awake when we can talk tomorrow."

"So you always say before you avoid me."

"It's instinct, whenever a woman says they want to talk every man thinks of how to escape." She laughed again bringing a smile to my face. It's not like I intentionally avoid her but I was really very busy, there's also the secret that I have been keeping from her too...

"Then what is this about not being someone's type."

Blushing, Rin waved her hand. "It's something stupid, mom, forget it."

"Really? Just when I was thinking you two finally decided to talk about the tension between you."

"Tension?" I had a puzzled face on while Rin continued blushing. "What—"

"Mom, you are being weird again. The only tension between Arthit and I is the urge to give him a kick every time I see his face."

"I will kick you right back, I believe in gender equality after all."

"hahaha," mother started laughing. "I love it when you two are in the house together, it is always so lively."

"But seriously, I could cut it with a knife. You guys should just go ahead and get married."

Rin and I paled. "Mom!" we shouted at the same and then glared at each other.

My mom's laughter stayed with me like a hug until I was in bed. I took a quick shower before entering my bed then I lay there staring at the ceiling. My thoughts were locked on Kongpob's story. Kongpob said before that he could identify his soulmate, that I wasn't his soulmate and that was why he couldn't accept me. I don't know for sure how I feel about soul mates, I mean I am not the naïve boy I was anymore to simply fall for all of what Kongpob says but why didn't that guy change a little. He is still going on and on about his soul mate. How great is that person anyway? Someone you don't even know, someone you have never said a word to at any point in time, how can you love that person.

But Kongpob loves that person. Every time he talks about them there is always something about his face that looks happy. I confirmed it today with that story. What kind of person is Kongpob's soulmate? Someone like that who can effortlessly have Kongpob's love without trying, I don't want to meet them. I don't want to meet them ever.