im sorry it took forever
my dumbass was being dumb

♡♡♡

"You think he's really going to talk to me?" Taehyung asked, standing by the door, waiting for Jimin as the older was shoving on his shoes.

Today was the first game of the spring tournament. It already started a bit ago, but since their school was a high seed (they won a lot), they got to pass onto the next round.

It wasn't part of the plan to go and talk to Jeongguk, but after talking with Jin and Hoseok last night, he realized that maybe they did need this. Maybe if they talked, the pain would finally fade, and perhaps things would be better.

Taehyung wasn't ready, but he knew if he didn't gathered the courage to talk to him, he would never be. If he didn't do this now and kept pushing it for later, the pain would only worsen.

Closure was closure. They owed each other that, and of course, an apology. Even though he might not have been ready to face Jeongguk after so long, this was part of the process to heal.

The process that they needed to move on.

"He better," Jimin grumbled, finally getting his shoes on before hopping onto his feet. He grabbed his duffle from the couch and slung it over his shoulder, hands tucked into his jacket pockets.

"If he doesn't, I'll make sure not to set to him," Jimin chuckled, thanking Taehyung quietly as he opened the door for him.

"You two need to talk 'cuz I'm losing brain cells watching you guys apart."

"Ouch," Taehyung rubbed the side of his neck, grinning sheepishly at the ground. He shut the door behind the both of them, and the two went on, side by side. 

"Is Yuta gonna be there?" He blurted out all of a sudden, right as the duo approached the elevator. He didn't know why the guy came to mind, especially after all he had done, but he did.

He wondered if Jeongguk was seeing him, though it wasn't really his place to get mad anymore. The younger could do whatever, but a part of him, the part that ached, wanted to know if Yuta was out there with his— with Jeongguk.

"He's not an official team member, but he might be there," Jimin shrugged, eyeing the younger up and down when he said nothing.

"Well, if you're thinking about Jeongguk and him, the two haven't been talking."

"What?" He whipped his head toward the older, an eyebrow raised, confused. Jimin nodded, pressing the elevator button.

"He only talks to him if it's on the court, but even then it's just orders. Jeongguk doesn't talk to anyone during practice anymore," Jimin said.

"He's gone quiet lately."

"Is it because he's focused?" He tried to ignore the pang in his chest, willing himself to force the worry away, knowing that Jeongguk was capable of caring for himself.

Not everything could be bad, he swallowed thickly, following after Jimin into the elevator. Not every scenario could go wrong. Jeongguk was probably doing fine on his own; he might have already moved on. He had to be okay.

"Could be," Jimin murmured, drumming his fingers over his bag strap. "When it comes to prefecturals, he takes them seriously. We have another shot at nationals this year."

"That's good to hear," Taehyung shifted on his toes, staring down at the floor. He didn't know why his stomach was twisting like it did; it shouldn't be.

"It's alright Tae," The older said, nudging his elbow with his own. "You'll see him, he'll see you, and you both will talk your shit out, and things will get better."

"Or worse," He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Jimin rolled his eyes.

"If you want to be negative, be my guest," Jimin sighed. "But I honestly think after this, you two will work out again. If not, I'll spike a ball at his head."

"Can I ask something?" Taehyung leaned against the elevator wall, gaze fixating on the older as he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground. Jimin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why are you so intent on getting us back together?"

"That's a dumb question," Jimin snorted. "One, I'm your friend. Two, why'd you ask me that?"

"Because all you've been doing lately is trying to get us to talk," The younger said back, lips pulling into a grin. "Is there some secret ulterior motive that you have that I'm missing?"

"Ulterior motive? How petty do you think I am?" He asked, pointing at himself. "Can I not do it for the sake of the goodness in my heart?"

"Or," Taehyung teased, "is it because you still love Jeongguk?" Jimin scoffed, loudly.

"Seriously? I told you, I'd forever love Jeongguk as my friend, dipshit," Jimin said cooly, not daring to spare him a look.

"My romantic love-love time with Jeon Jeongguk is over. So is our friendship. We'll never be friends again."

"You don't know that," Taehyung stepped closer to the older, his shoulder brushing against his. "Maybe the both of you should talk too, y'know."

"Tae, there's a difference between us," Jimin's jaw tightened. Taehyung lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Really now?"

"Yes, really," The older breathed out, "There is a big difference. Jeongguk and I were childhood friends. He never saw me as anything other than a friend. With you, he saw something more."

"And what was that?" He asked, curiously. Jimin rolled his eyes for what seemed the umpteenth time.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Tae, but I will tell you this. The exact words he told me last summer were that he would never have anymore room in his heart to love somebody else," Jimin whispered.

"He swore to me," He said, back facing him as the two of them walked out of the elevator together. "He swore that he wouldn't love anything more than his family and volleyball."

"And when he saw you," Jimin stopped, swiveling around to face him. Taehyung stiffened, glancing between the sadness in Jimin's eyes to the finger poking his chest.

"He threw it all away," He murmured, jabbing his finger over his heart. "With me, he kept that promise until the end, but with you?"

"He broke it in a heartbeat."

Taehyung didn't know what to say, or rather, if there was anything he should say to him now that Jimin's features were contorted with this pain he wished he knew how to soothe. He swallowed the knot building in his throat, trying to ignore how his heart was already pounding in his chest.

"That's why I want you two to fix your shit," Jimin exhaled shakily, shoving his fingers through his blonde locks.

"Jeongguk is a big child stuck in a teenager's body, and he can't ever get his shit together on his own, so I have to pick up his slack. It's been that way ever sincr we were six," He murmured, the nostalgia in his tone bittersweet.

God, he couldn't imagine how it must have felt to love someone for so long just to lose them in the end. He wondered how close they were, what they went through, and what the hell happened that shattered them this easily.

Maybe a long time ago he would be jealous of Jimin, perhaps he would even be hating him, but now, he didn't know what to feel.

"Can we go already?" Jimin asked quietly, hurt lacing his words as his arms retreated to his sides.

Without another sentence, Taehyung nodded, watching as Jimin stared down at the floor for a mere moment before turning around and heading toward the exit.

♡♡♡

"You sure you're even ready for something like this, Cap?" Yugyeom asked, concern lacing his words as he tugged his dufflebag strap over his shoulder.

The two of them entered the venue together, and with that said, marked the official day for the spring prefecturals they needed to win in order to make it to nationals.

Jeongguk wasn't worried about it much, hell, it was nationals. Their team was brilliant, and with their top tier offense, defense, and him as their ace, this tournament should be easy— after all, he trained non stop for this.

Every day before, he stayed back for extra hours, working harder than anyone, and put the most effort into perfecting his skills to be the best. He only ate what gave him energy, slept less to make it to the gym early, and worked until his muscles ached.

Thankfully, most of the team decided to call this passion— devotion.

But to Yugyeom, especially after Jeongguk's incident in the gym a week ago, he preferred to call it self destruction, mania, which Jeongguk honestly didn't agree with.

He was okay, peachy, even. So what he broke it off with Taehyung? It didn't hurt anymore anyways. It was all gone! Taehyung was out of his life, and it took just one big cry to get it out!

He would he fine without Taehyung. There would be more people in his life to date, to fall in love with. He would meet others, and he found a way to forget about the pain in his chest through volleyball.

So what that they broke up. It didn't matter to him anymore.

"I'm fine," Jeongguk muttered, hands wedged into his pockets, not quite able to meet the younger's eyes yet. Stop babying me, he wanted to say but his teeth clamped on his lip, holding it back.

"It's a tournament game, y'know. They're not three sets— they're five. You of all people know how badly we need stamina in these games," Yugyeom stressed.

"Have you even been sleeping?" The younger asked, swiveling around to get a better look at his face. He reached up, poking beneath his eyes.

"Your bags are as loose as the vaggies I fuck."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that," Jeongguk's nose crinkled, swatting his hand away. "I do not have eyebags you hooligan. I am rested."

"I am fucking speed right now."

He added for the dramatic flare Yugyeom said he lacked nowadays to put some emphasis that he, Jeon Jeongguk, was back to normal— not heartbroken.

"Quoting Lightning Mcqueen won't change my mind that you're a tired bitch," Yugyeom snorted. "I want you to nap before our first game, Cap."

"What? No. I'm seventeen, not six," Jeongguk scoffed, slipping his hand out of his pocket, fingers curling around his bag strap as he shot him a glare.

"At this rate, you are one," He muttered, nudging his side with his elbow. Jeongguk scowled. "You're literally depression."

"Being around you makes me wanna blast Lucid Dreams and mope."

"That's a you problem," Jeongguk retorted, fingers wrung around the strap gripping the material hard as they turned the corner to the team lockers.

"And if I was a sad bitch, I'd blast Harry Styles," He added quietly. "Lucid Dreams is for sad middle schoolers. Harry is for sad hella gay men."

"So you're admitting you're sad?" The younger raised an eyebrow at him, stopping abruptly. Jeongguk glanced at him, unamused.

"I was just making a statement," He brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'm not sad. I told you I'm over it."

"Sure you are," Yugyeom hummed, eyeing him up and down. "Did you lose weight? Your muscles look a bit deflated. Don't tell me you're missing meals."

"Are you staying hydrated?!"

"Fuck off. You're not my sister," Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "C'mon, stop being a bitch and let's get going."

"Oof," Yugyeom's shoulders sagged, the skin around his nose wrinkling as his lips pulled into a frown. "I was trying to be all nice, but you stomped on me and called me a dirty whore."

"Uh, no I didn't," The older's brows knitted together.

"Yeah you did. In your head," Yugyeom said back in a pout, false hurt lacing his words.

"M'not kinky," Jeongguk sighed impatiently. "Are you gonna start walking, or am I gonna leave you here? M'going with the latter in five seconds."

"God you're infuriating Jeon. I just care about you," Yugyeom mumbled, crossing his arms tightly over his chest as he stomped toward the older. Jeongguk snorted lightly.

"What happened to the dirty, funny Jeonggukie?"

"Stop acting like my older sister, seriously," He said, glancing over at the younger, who was giving him quite the dirty look, something Hyejung would do.

It was then, did this pang of homesickness hit his heart directly. He nearly lost his footing at the sudden shot, not quite expecting it after all this time playing matches on his own without his family in the crowd watching him.

But for some reason, it affected him, thinking of his sisters and his family all the way back in Busan. He knew they could never come watch his games— it was a hassle with three little girls and a sick mom.

Jeongguk got used to the fact they would never be there for him. Sure, it hurt like a bitch seeing his friends' parents in the stands, but it was what it was. He was always meant to be alone; he couldn't help it.

But as much as he missed them, he couldn't let anything else hurt his heart. Not like his heart was hurting or anything, though.

"You're so mean," Yugyeom grumbled, finally speaking up again when they're at the locker door. "I was gonna surprise you with something, but you're being a big jerkface."

"Jerkface, how old are you? Two?"

"Fuck off, meaniehead." He stuck his tongue out at him.

"I don't want your surprise, Yugs. I told you, you don't need to make me happy. I'm fine," Jeongguk eventually sighed, putting emphasis on the word 'fine' while he reached for the door handle.

"When you see it, maybe you would," He shrugged. The older rolled his eyes at him, opening the door in front of him without looking.

"How many times do I have to say I'm—,"

"—Oppa!!!!!" Jeongguk grunted loudly, three heavy things crashing right into him, almost topping him over until he got a steady grip on the door.

"What the fu— Noona?" He whispered softly, jaw dropped and blinking rapidly seeing his sister, in the fucking flesh, standing in the lockerroom, smirking at him.

Unable to believe this, he glanced down, throat tight seeing his three sisters clinging onto his limbs and staring up at him with bright, toothy smiles. For some reason, his entire mouth was dry, and his chest, god, his chest was oddly tight?

"What're you doing here?" He gulped, voice a mere rasp as he forced the words out of his throat. His oldest sister merely grinned, tucking her black hair behind her ear.

"To surprise you, of course," Hyejung said, walking up to him. "Dad was gonna offer to take the girls up this weekend, and I thought I should join 'em cuz somebody told me you had a tournament."

He didn't know what to feel, fuck, the walls behind his eyes stung while he crouched down, throwing his arms around his sisters, trying to hug all of them at once, to greet their excited faces.

He couldn't comprehend it— this couldn't be real right now. He was missing them a few moments ago, accepting the fact they would never be there, and here they were. In the flesh. Holding him.

He looked over at Yugyeom, shaky smile meeting his all knowing smirk. Oh, he was so going to kill him later for pulling this.

God, he struggled to hold himself together while his youngest sister tried to climb into his lap, pressing kisses all over his cheek and chanting how much she missed him. He couldn't even breathe, the heat of the moment knocking the wind out of his lungs.

His mouth ached from smiling so widely, and the tears prickling at his eyes began to form, glazing his irises over with happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. He nuzzled his face into Hyelin's hair, holding Hyein close to his body, while Jeonkyung's arms were slung around his neck.

To think this was what he needed.

"Oppa! I miss you so so much!" Hyelin giggled, patting his cheek. "I get to see you play today!"

"Yes you do," Jeongguk chuckled sweetly, ruffling her hair, nose scrunching with more laughter when she whined about him messing up her bow.

"You better play well, okay?" Hyein punched his shoulder, "I wanna study your form. Hyejung said I wasn't stepping into my spike right, so I'ma watch you, okay?"

"Alright," He said, patting her shoulder, smiling up at her brightly. "After the game, I can help you, hm? We can figure it out." Inna nodded excitedly.

"Stay safe today, Oppa," He tried to turn toward Jeonkyung, who was pressing her cheek against his. "I know nothing about volleyball, but I'll support you, 'kay?"

"I appreciate it Kyung," Jeongguk said softly, hand clamping over her small forearm and squeezing it assuringly.

"What about you? You gonna say something to me?" He teased, watching Hyejung stride toward them, probably enjoying the scene unfold while Yugyeom melted by the lockers.

"Should I say something encouraging?" She asked, sarcasm dripping off her words, not quite matching the smile she wore proudly.

"I'm just happy to see you haven't died."

"That's pretty morbid, noona," Jeongguk snorted, sadly untangling himself from his younger sisters, knowing he wouldn't change in time since he always got distracted playing with them.

"M'kidding," Hyejung snickered. "I just wanted to talk to you, big sis to my only baby bro." He raised an eyebrow at her, glancing back and forth between his sister and Yugyeom.

"Don't worry about the girls. Dad's here to watch, too," Hyejung waved his worry off upon seeing it on his face. "Yugyeom, mind taking them?"

"Nope, I'd be glad to escort Cap's sisters," He said, bowing a little. "I'll guard them with my entire life Jeongguk." He saluted, holding his arms out for the girls to take.

"You better," Jeongguk teased, winking at his sisters, who were giggling getting to hold onto a buff guy like Yugyeom. "Don't let them get hurt."

"Never. I'll spoil them like princesses," Yugyeom winked back at him, earning another eye roll from the older.

"Let's go tiny humans! I'll buy you guys some snacks. How about that?"

"As long as there's no raisins or old people candy, I'm all in," Jeonkyung shrugged, linking her arm with Yugyeom's while she held onto Inna. Lin took Yugyeom's other arm.

"Do you like cinnamon candies?" Jeonkyung made a face. "Alright. I'll keep that in mind."

Right before Yugyeom left, however, Jeongguk held his hand out, hand pressing against his chest. He glanced down at him, lifting an eyebrow at the older.

"Thank you," Jeongguk whispered, meaning every fucking word that left his mouth. Yugyeom nodded once, patted his shoulder, and with that, took his sisters out to spoil them silly.

Once the door shut, he gathered the courage to face Hyejung, for he felt her heavy stare settling on him once the airness of being with his sisters finally left his chest in one big exhale.

"We need to talk," Hyejung started, catching him off guard. Jeongguk scratched the side of his neck, half expecting her to yell at him and scold him like a child like she usually did, but instead, her features softened, her smile easing into a frown.

"I'm disappointed, Gguk," She whispered, which was honestly rare considering she was his sister, who screamed his ear off whenever he fucked up.

"I'm disappointed I had to hear about what was going on from your friend, and not you." Oh.

"Is it something I did? Am I not here enough? Are the calls not enough for you to know that I'm always here for you?" Hyejung asked, sadness sparkling in her doe eyes as she reached forward, gripping his arm.

"Are we not as close as we used to be?"

"W-what? No," Jeongguk murmured, staring down at her hand around his arm, gulping. "It's not that."

"Then what? Gguk, we've been there for each other for everything. We promised after I got hurt, I'd never leave you," Hyejung whispered.

"I know," He said, suddenly not wanting to be there anymore if this conversation was heading where it was going. "It's not important, noona."

"Yes it is. To me, yes, it is," She countered, grip tightening when he tried to pull away. "My brother breaking up with his boyfriend and wearing himself down to the bone concerns me."

"I'm fine," Jeongguk forced out between his teeth. "It wasn't a big deal," He lied, squeezing the words out of his seemingly sword throat.

"Keep saying it all you want, but I know you aren't. I know you, Jeongguk. You're like me. When we hurt, we work ourselves until we can't feel the pain," She said quietly.

"You can tell me if you're hurting," She continued, ignoring the way he tensed beneath her touch. "By now, after seeing mom suffer, it's okay to be honest."

"Noona, stop. I have a game," Jeongguk said weakly. "I don't wanna talk about him." He added quickly, mumbling the words underneath his breath, for if he said them any louder, the pain would return again.

"Okay," Hyejung nodded, letting go of him, but even so, Jeongguk still felt like he was choking. "But if what I heard was right, then."

"Then what?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Then," She bit her lip, "you shouldn't be playing."

Jeongguk's jaw suddenly clenched, "You can't tell me what to do, noona. I'm almost an adult. I can make my own decisions."

"Not when you're like this," She shook her head, gesturing at him. "Not after you tortured your body. When was the last time you ate a full meal? Slept seven hours? Rested in between properly?"

"Hyejung—," He started, only to be caught off by his sister shaking her head once more.

"Jeongguk, I love you, okay?" She murmured, "I trust you to make the right choice, but do you really think playing right now is one?"

"Yeah, of course," He said, swallowing the hesitation back down his throat— there was no need to be reluctant; he knew his body well. "I've trained for this."

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, her lips sealed shut, words dying on her frown. Instead, she stepped forward, hands settling on her brother's arms, holding him in place.

"When this game is over, we are gonna catch up properly, alright?" Hyejung said sternly, squeezing his biceps. "But you better take breaks if your coach or friends say you need them."

"Noona i'll be fine," Jeongguk tried again, but he knew his words meant nothing to her. Why would they if he didn't even mean them himself.

"Heartbreak, Jeongguk, is a whole different type of pain," Hyejung murmured. "There's no remedy for it except allowing those who care for you to be there for you, alright?"

"When did you become so mature?" He snorted, trying to ease the seriousness of the situation, unable to bear the worry on his sister's features any longer.

"Shut the fuck up," Hyejung grumbled, punching his stomach. Jeongguk winced, hand flying up to his abs, hating how hard she could hit.

"M'just saying," She shrugged like she didn't just punch him with all her strength, "I'm here for you."

"I know," Jeongguk molded his lips into a lopsided smirk as he rubbed the sore spot. "I can see you."

"Don't smart talk me dumbass unless you want me to punch you again," She threatened. The younger's eyebrows raised along with his hands in defense.

"Can I ask one more serious thing though?" She asked. He nodded, feeling her grip ease around his arms.

"Did he hurt you?"

Oh, Jeongguk wasn't expecting that. He gulped, not really wanting to think about that especially since he had a game soon, and surely he didn't need to break apart again, but for some reason, he was oddly calm with Hyejung staring right at him.

It hurt, yes. It hurt like a fucking bitch tearing his insides to shreds and slamming a hammer on his heart until it was barely even pieces but rather fine dust. 

But as he stood there, chewing on his lips as his sister's honey irises seemed to search his own for an answer, he inhaled sharply and took every fiber of his courage to answer.

"We hurt each other," He said, finally. Hyejung's features eased, every trace of hatred fading as her lips pull into a thin line.

"It wasn't just him? It was you too?" He nodded stiffly. Hyejung's hands dropped back to her sides, proceeding to cross over her chest.

"Well then, we'll sort it out after. I'll talk some fucking sense into you 'cuz clearly you need some relationship advice," She chuckled, jutting her chin at him.

"I love you, Gguk," She whispered softly, right after.

"I love you too, Noona," Jeongguk replied, smiling back at her, one that was brighter than the previous ones.

"Okay, gross," She grinned, reaching over and ruffling his hair. "M'gonna go find our sisters, take them to Dad, and watch you play. Take care, okay? I hope you win."

"You know we will," Jeongguk said, smirking widely, somewhat feeling like his old self a little bit, and though he knew it was probably temporary, he held onto it before he could lose it.

"That's the spirit!" Hyejung cheered, smacking his shoulder, already on her way out. "Goodluck!"

Jeongguk mumbled a quick thanks, watching as his sister swung the door open and disappeared in the direction Yugyeom went off with his sisters. He leaned against the side of the locker, arms crossed over his chest as his smile slowly began to fade.

He was going to be okay, Hyejung gave him that hope at least. This game was what he worked for, hell, he was ready for this game.

Nothing could affect him at all, right?

♡♡♡

Jimin had to leave to meet up with his teammates, leaving Taehyung to wander around the big venue on his own since Jin and Hoseok weren't coming until the game was about to start.

So, he was left following the crowds toward the gym, panic texting Hoseok and Jin that big crowds were fricking intimidating and that people were staring at him because he was alone, which honestly wasn't great for his social anxiety.

Jimin said as long as he followed the crowds, he would be good! He shouldn't be overthinking. Every time he did, Jimin took money out of their group milkshake jar, so it wasn't worth it to be.

He just had to trust the process, and plus, he noticed a couple people from their school adorning their school colors of red and black.

People were crazy, with those noise makers and big signs to wave at the players. Some girls wore makeup and some even had shirts with stiched on numbers of their favorite players.

Taehyung hoped his outfit was fine? He was wearing baggy, khaki-colored pants, loafers he stole from Warren, and a soft crimson sweater that matched Jimin's jersey. It had to have worked, right? Okay, he shouldn't be stressing about fashion— he needed to find the gym.

God, if only he didn't let Jimin out of his reach so easily. Maybe if he begged he would have led him to the stands, but noooooo Jimin left with a quick goodbye and disappeared.

Alright, no. Get a grip, he said inside his head as he blended in with a sea of red and black, marching along with them to the stands. He got this. He could do this simple thing.

Eventually the crowd led him into this empty hall? He didn't know where people were going, but he guessed they dispersed through some door because he could hear the whistles and cheering from where he stood.

He glanced down at his phone, hoping for another text from his friends to say that they at least left the dorm, only to be met with Jin raging about Hoseok being an indecisive bitch on what socks he should wear (Nobody will see them anyways you prissfuck).

Bummer. Looked like they weren't coming anytime soon. Taehyung rolled his eyes, head hung low to see his phone better through his slightly smudged glasss, and before he knew where his feet were taking him, he hit a wall.

Or well, it felt like a wall? It was hard, and big, and firm? Was that how walls felt?

Glancing upward, quick to curse himself for being a fricking idiot, Taehyung fumbled to fix his glasses and tilted his head up, realizing this wasn't some ordinary wall.

Heck, this wasn't a wall! Walls didn't breathe.

Instead, it was a guy. Somebody he recognized.

"Watch where you're going," His accent was heavy, clearly not from around any part of Korea. Taehyung blinked again, opening his mouth only to shut it again.

"Ah, it's you. Nice to see you again, Kim," Bitterness wove in between every husked vowel, matching the sneer on the person's lips. It was him— Yuta.

"Looking a bit different, Kim," Yuta pointed out, eyes raking his figure. "Bit of a downgrade huh." He bit his inner cheek, tensing at his insult.

"I'd like to think it's an upgrade," Taehyung tried to summon all his confidence, or rather, confidence he borrowed from Jimin and Jin, which he hoped didn't make him look like an idiot.

He undid all the effects of the makeover a long time ago, starting with dying his hair to black, ditching the constant contacts, and even going back to his old fashion choices except with Jimin's help, made better.

He felt more like himself than he did before, and it honestly worked for him. There was no way he was letting a dick like Yuta to tell him what he couldn't be— if he was comfortable with it, why should his opinion matter?

"If you think so," Yuta snorted, hands sliding into his pants pockets. "The blue was a mistake." Again, he tried not to wince, but he did anyways.

"Why are you here?" Taehyung cleared his throat, willing himself to stand up straight, to appear unaffected because there was no way he was letting this asshole get to him.

"Have to support Jeongguk. I should be asking you the same," He tipped his chin toward him. "You can't be here."

"It's a public area and I go to the same school," He deadpanned, "I can be here. Dunno about you though."

"I'm Jeongguk's friend," Yuta spat out. "Y'know, it looks bad on your end showing up. Makes you a bit desperate." Okay, what now?

"Desperate?" He forced out a laugh, sliding his buzzing phone into his pocket. Yuta nodded, staring him down, eyes narrowed. "Maybe I'm not the only blind one here."

"Trying to be a smartass, huh? It's not gonna cut it. You cheated on Jeongguk and broke his heart," Yuta seethed.

"You showing up here is an embarrassment."

"I'm the embarrassment here?" He scoffed, pointing at himself. "Have you seen yourself? I caught you flirting with my ex while we were dating. Thinking you didn't do anything is delusional."

"He wanted it," The other bit back. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, jaw pressed tight and shoulders now squared. "I treated him way better than you did."

"He didn't even mention you existed to me," Yuta snapped. "He was so ashamed of you. I see why now when you look like that."

"Excuse me?" Taehyung asked. God, he was too mad to wince, to let the insults get to his head. A long time ago, he would cower away and cry to his friends, but now? He was done with it.

So fucking done, he couldn't stand this anymore.

"Face it Kim, you were a shitty excuse of a boyfriend. I could have treated him so much better," Yuta said smoothly, venom poisoning his words. What he said was partially true— he did have his issues which he regretted, but he knew better to let it get to him.

"Really now?" He lifted an eyebrow at him, jaw clenched so tight a muscle visibly twitched along the sharpened bone.

"Jeongguk deserves everything. I could have taken him out on nice dates. I listened to all his problems. We would have been perfect together."

What a delusional bitch. Taehyung wanted to laugh.

"Even if you could," Taehyung took a step forward, lips curled into a sneer. "You couldn't do one thing."

"And what's that?" Yuta asked, staring him down. The other merely smirked, lip flicking upward as he tilted his head to the side, meeting his gaze with an equally lethal one.

"You couldn't ever fuck him like I did."

"You're so full of yourself. Nobody would fuck a guy who looks as deformed as you," Yuta snorted. "Sorry, but God did you fucking dirty, dude."

"Well, then, if I'm so ugly," He pressed a hand to his chest, indifferent, words a low drawl, rumbling in his throat.

"Then why did Jeongguk beg for my cock?" He asked, batting his eyes innocently at him. "Think you could fuck him so hard against the mattress the way he wants? Make him sob your name? Think just 'cuz you think you're sooo good, you can make a mess out of him the way I did?"

"Or are you the type to brag but when it comes to it your dick's so fucking small nobody could feel it?"

"You son of a bitch," Yuta hissed, rage flashing in his slitted eyes. "I could do it."

"No you can't," Taehyung scoffed, the bitterness in his laughter heavy on his tongue. "You can't."

"Then tell me why," He snarled. Taehyung glanced at the floor briefly before whipping his head up, a shit-earing smirk sitting lazily on his lips.

"Because you didn't love him like I did."

"When I fuck him, I meant it. He's not just a body I could treat well and show off like a fucking item. He's more than that," He said smoothly, letting out the truth he'd always wanted to say out loud.

"He isn't the grand prize. He also isn't some fucking trophy to flash to others," Taehyung snapped. "Sure, maybe you could treat him better, but you could never love him the way we loved each other."

"I'd be lying if I said I was sorry you could never experience it, 'cuz you just can't. And you never, ever will."

"You're a fucking delusional bitch, Kim," Yuta scoffed, shaking his head, but it was clear he won this. There was no way he could bounce back from what he just said.

"I prefer that you stop mixing the two of us up," He smirked, sliding his own fists into his pockets. "It'd be best if your desperate ass left. I doubt Jeongguk would want to see you."

"You cheated on him," Yuta tried, and sure, it stung, but it was only a mere pinch. Taehyung nodded.

"But you were the one trying to get him to cheat," Taehyung retorted. "Maybe that's the only thing we will have in common," He shrugged, flashing him a harmless smile.

"Go back to Japan," Taehyung said when the other said nothing for quite some time, marking his victory.

"Find somebody that'll actually love you back for the shitty asshole you are."

"Fuck you," Yuta spat, failing to come up with a better insult, which was enough to stroke Taehyung's budding ego. The other simply rolled his eyes and swiveled in the other direction, striding away toward the exit, defeated.

"That was fucking hot."

Taehyung whipped around, eyebrows raised on his face hearing a voice behind him. But thankfully, it was Jin and Hoseok, but his face was still heating up into its usual red.

"Did you hear all of that?" He asked awkwardly, scratching the side of his neck as his two friends approached him.

"Heard some of it," Jin said, winking at him, laughing along with Hoseok when Taehyung's hands flew to cover up his face, hiding his embarrassment.

"You really told him off, Tae," Hoseok's hand clamped his shoulder, shaking him gently with the biggest heart-shaped smile on his lips.

"Was it too much though?" He asked weakly, hands sliding down his face before retreating into his trouser pockets. Jin shook his head, snickering.

"Nah, it was good. A little possessive though. Thought you were over Jeongguk," He teased. The youngest rolled his eyes, scowling.

"I'm not, you know that, but I'm dealing with it okay? That Yuta guy just pissed me off, and if he wasn't gonna tell him off, I would," Taehyung said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You do have a point," Hoseok pointed out. "You know what's gonna cheer you up?" He mumbled a low what, and in seconds, Hoseok pulled up his pant leg, flashing his chipmunk socks.

"He took fucking eons to pick them," Jin groaned, staring at the socks with utter distaste . Taehyung, on the otherhand, giggled, finding them adorable.

"Are you two done? We should probably go grab seats," Jin said, immediately speaking up when Hoseok began to pretend to model his ridiculous socks, making Taehyung laugh harder.

"Sorry," Taehyung pressed his fingers over his mouth, trying to repress the giggle bubbling up his throat when Hoseok gestured dramatically at his socks.

"I'm so done with the two of you," Seokjin rolled his eyes once more, took both of them by the elbows, and yanked them toward the stands.

The three of them eventually burst into laughter, with Hoseok and Taehyung bumping themselves against Seokjin, whose windshield wiper laugh only seemed to worsen the fit. They stumbled into the stands, eyes scrunched together and mouths wide in the happiest smiles as they approached the seats.

Luckily there was still some room by the front, and they managed to squeeze there way to the balcony barrier. The laughter already died down, now that they were seeing the real thing.

Below them was a massive court, and one side was the other school, who seemed to have a big support system like theirs. All of them were in light blue and white jerseys. On the other side was their school, wearing their black and red ones.

Taehyung quickly found Jimin, spotting the setter standing by the net, leading warmups. It was easy to spot his blonde hair, and of course, his really short shorts that seemed to accentuate his ass.

"Somebody needs to get him longer shorts," Jin teased from the side. A long time ago, he would have talked shit on him, but ever since Taehyung brought the group together, Jin was growing fond of him.

"It's Jimin for you. He probably distracts the other team with his ass along with his setting skills," Hoseok snorted. "Look, there's Yugyeom and San stretching."

When Taehyung followed the direction where Hoseok was pointing, he expected Jeongguk to be with them, but he wasn't. He wasn't disappointed, or anything, but he couldn't deny the way his stomach dropped not seeing him.

"It's okay, he's here," The voice that called out to him was neither Hoseok or Jin. When he turned around to see who it was, his eyebrows eased seeing it was Jae.

"Who are you?" Jin asked before Taehyung could greet him. Jae flashed him a small smile, walking over and filling the empty spot beside Hoseok.

"Choi Jae. I'm Jeongguk's friend. I know you guys haven't seen him in a while, but I assure you, he's here," Jae said, his gaze fixing intently on Taehyung.

"That's good to hear," Hoseok thankfully answered for Taehyung. The youngest of the group swallowed, thanking Jae quietly before facing the volleyball court, secretly scanning their faces for him.

It took some time, as he chewed on his lip, teething picking at the sensitive skin while he searched for him. And when his gaze finally fell on him, he swore his chest tightened at the sight of him.

He hadn't seen him in so long. His breath hitched, relief flooding through him seeing that he was okay. Jeongguk was stretching, something to someone across the court, so he couldn't really see his face.

But when he did, Taehyung's lungs squeezed, all the air knocked from them. He was still the same, his features ever so perfect, and his hair slightly longer than before. He was stretching, saying something to someone across the court.

And although Jeongguk probably couldn't see him, all that seemed to matter was the fact he saw him. It pained him when his memories forgot Jeongguk's face, and he couldn't visualize him no matter how hard he tried to.

But now, he was there, breathing, walking, moving in front of him. Sure, his expression was unreadable, and he didn't see him smile once, but at least he was there, proving to Taehyung he wasn't some figment of his imagination.

Taehyung took advantage of the situation while he could, scrambling to remember his features this time and holding onto the pieces within his memories. He gripped the balcony edge, staring at him, his eyes always on him.

The game started with Jeongguk tossing a coin for first service. Luckily, they won, the other captain begrudgingly handing Jeongguk the ball.

He watched him return to his teammates. Yugyeom patted his back, saying something inaudible to him, which provoked an eye roll from the other. Jimin and Jeongguk merely nodded to one another, and soon, Jeongguk was about to serve.

Taehyung always loved watching Jeongguk play.

He was graceful, practically soaring in the sky when he went for the jump serve. He seemed to hang in the air for a moment, before slamming his arm forward, sending the ball hurtling across the court.

Somebody was able to get it, though it was off, and they nearly fell to the ground. Taehyung's eyes widened in awe, watching the ball be tossed to the setter, who set it up for the hitter waiting.

On their side, Yugyeom and another tall kid were waiting to block, their hands right in front of them. Together, they jumped in unison, hands above the net to meet the spike.

"One touch!" Yugyeom shouted, sinking back to the ground and quickly dropping back as the ball was received by one of their teammates.

The ball was passed to Jimin, who was ready, and when the ball came to him, Taehyung and his friends gasped seeing his fingers effortlessly push the ball up, his back arching to reach Jeongguk who was behind him.

The sequence was flawless with the way Jeongguk approached the ball, jumping high to meet the ball Jimin set, and slamming it down on the other team's court, breaking past all of their defenses and landing right on the ground behind the blockers.

For a moment, the gym was silent, before it erupted in the roar of their school's crowd. Taehyung, still in shock after watching them, glanced around, unable to believe that what he saw was real.

"He's still good as ever," Hoseok chuckled warmly, leaning forward on the banister. "He's a god. Makes sense why every school wants him."

"What can Jeon Jeongguk not do?" Jin murmured, shaking his head as the referee whistled, silencing the gym for Jeongguk's second serve.

"Talk about his feelings," Jae spoke up. The three of them stared in disbelief at the boy, holding back their laughter seeing Jae said it with a blank expression.

"Ouch," Hoseok snorted, averting his gaze back to the game along with Jin and Taehyung.

The first set, they ended up beating the other team. It was 31-29, seeing that in volleyball, in order to win a set, you must win by two. Taehyung spent his time watching Jeongguk in amazement, seeing him kill spike after spike without a trace of exhaustion.

Although, he didn't ignore Yugyeom, San, and Jimin. Yugyeom was a really good blocker, always getting a touch on the ball, softening the spike. Jimin seemed to set without looking, sending it to the person he wanted with perfect ease. San was also cool too, diving for balls Taehyung thought were a lost cause.

The second set was won by their school once more. It went by faster, 25-20.

"Our team's a monster," Jin muttered, watching them change sides yet again. "Especially Jeongguk. You think he's ever gonna burn out?"

"I honestly don't know," Hoseok said. "When we played together, the kid never admitted he was tired. He played through the fatigue and exhaustion."

"That's worrying," Taehyung murmured, "so you're saying he doesn't know his limits?"

"Oh he knows them," The redhead said, gaze fixated on Jeongguk, who was ready to receive the ball from the other team's first serve.

"But he chooses to ignore it."

Taehyung tried to not let that bother him because it was Jeongguk. He wasn't a total idiot, and if he was tired, he knew Yugyeom and San would force him to the bench. Maybe even Jimin if he thought he was being a big dumbass.

However, the idea nagged at the back of his mind while he watched this set. For some reason, the atmospheres was way more intense, and he guessed the other team was stepping up their game so they wouldn't lose. 

"Are they getting tired yet?" Taehyung asked Hoseok, wincing when he saw a member on the other team punching their thighs when they missed a receive opportunity.

"Fatigue should be catching up to them since they're playing so hard. They're evenly matched, but our team is more consistent toward the end," Hoseok shrugged. "I dunno. Looks like they're fine."

"You sure?" Taehyung asked, swallowing thickly when he saw Jeongguk was at the front lines, glaring at the boy in front of him.

"Don't worry, Tae. This is probably the last set anyways, and we're done," Hodeok patted his shoulder. "Jeongguk and the others will close it."

Hoseok was wrong.

They were neck and neck, and apparently the middle blockers on the other side have figured out how to block the team's spikes. It was obvious Jimin was trying to disperse the hits around the team, but he could see his frustration when all of them were shut out.

"What is he trying to do?" Jin asked, deflating when the other school blocked yet another spike attempt, and it seemed that Jimin was ignoring Jeongguk's death stares.

"Trying to save Jeongguk's energy maybe?" Hoseok hummed, shrugging yet again. "Uh oh, he's mad."

Taehyung watched as Jeongguk approached Jimin, and he couldn't quite see his face, but he could tell he was yelling at him. Jimin, however, kept his expression calmed, unaffected even while Jeongguk barked orders at him.

Yugyeom and San jogged up to them, and he even snorted a little watching Yugyeom smack the back of Jeongguk's head. Jeongguk seemed to be piss, but he couldn't really tell since his back was facing him. 

Eventually, Jeongguk shook his head and went back to position when their coach stepped in and yelled at them to get ready. They were at 22-22. Now wasn't the time to be arguing.

Taehyung shifted in his position, watching the match unfold before him once the referee blew his whistle. All of them looked frustrated, even Jeongguk, who was breathing a bit too heavily considering what set they were on.

He glanced over at Hoseok, opening his mouth to ask yet another question, but before he could ease the worry in his chest, the slam of a ball being served snatched his attention.

He couldn't dare rip his eyes away from them. They all went back and forth, the rally existing for what seemed like forever, neither team wanting to let the ball drop and lose such a crucial point for a break.

The other team was getting frustrated, it was obvious when they received yet another one of Jeongguk's spikes. They were pushed to edge, desperation burning in their eyes for the win.

They were at 23-24. Their school won the break.

One more point and it was over, Taehyung thought, drumming his fingers impatiently over the banister as he watched the other team's player serve the ball. He didn't know why he was suddenly holding his breath, hoping that this was it.

This was going to be their victory.

His lungs squeezed, watching San receive the ball, sending it up for Jimin to set toward Jeongguk, who was waiting for the spike. He watched the ball, bouncing on the tips of his toes, ready to start his approach once the ball came in contact with Jimin's fingers.

He was fast, cutting around his teammates to hit what seemed like a quick attack. Jimin's fingers splayed out, setting the ball high for Jeongguk, who was already stepping into his form.

Taehyung was focused on Jeongguk as he jumped into the air, form flawless, but what he noticed, and so did Hoseok beside him as he stiffened, was that Jeongguk was close to the net.

His only mistake. An amateur one, Taehyung knew. Jeongguk used to tell him only amateurs made that mistake. But he supposed the exhaustion was so intense, he didn't realize it until then.

"Fucking hell," Hoseok swore quietly, the moment seeming to have dragged as Jeongguk hung in the air for what felt like fucking eternity.

And with all of his force, Jeongguk's palm collided with the ball, sending it spiraling to the ground, securing the match point and leaving the other team wordless.

However, as the crowd cheered loudly, celebrating their victory and their progression toward the finals, Taehyung wasn't jumping around like the others. He was frozen, wondering where the fuck Jeongguk landed because he wasn't by the net.

Taehyung averted his stare at the net, spotting a member of the other team staring straight ahead, expression hardened while his foot seemed to be a bit under, resting right where Jeongguk would have landed.

No, no, no, Taehyung's breathing rapidly increased, panic wrapping around his throat, suffocating as his eyes frantically darted around for Jeongguk. Fuck, where was he? Where the fuck was he?

Jin, Jae, and Hoseok had stopped celebrating by his side realizing that Taehyung wasn't joining them. All of them scanned the court, realizing their team wasn't jumping around either.

"That was a dirty fucking play," Hoseok mumbled quietly, "A foot under the net is the filthiest way to secure a win."

"What do you mean?" Jae asked Hoseok as Taehyung was practically falling apart, wondering where the fuck Jeongguk landed.

"It's illegal for a reason, why you can't cross the net," Hoseok shook his head, bitterness lacing his words. Taehyung cried out loud, finally finding Jeongguk, the boy was on all fours, head hanging low on the sideline.

Fuck, no, Taehyung wanted to run down there when he saw Jeongguk wasn't moving, his hand clutching his knee. No, no, no this couldn't be happening. San, Yugyeom, and Jimin ran to his side, trying to see if he was okay.

Yugyeom was the first to crouch down, hand on Jeongguk's shoulder, about to whisper something to him until—

Jeongguk cried out in pain, face contorted with such discomfort as he rolled onto his back, knee curled in as he clutched it, wailing out in frustration. He threw his head back, hair clinging to his forehead with all of his sweat, as he let out another strangled cry.

Medics were suddenly rushing onto the court, a team carrying a bright orange gurney. Jeongguk's coach jogged over to where he was on the ground, free fist slamming onto the ground repeatedly as he writhed around.

Taehyung couldn't watch, but at the same time, he couldn't rip his eyes away from Jeongguk. It didn't feel real, watching him like this, struggling to deal with the pain in his swollen knee he caught a glimpse of.

The medical team told everyone to back off and they did. He watched a white-clothed figure kneel by his side and try to move his knee to stabilize it, only to silence the gym with a blood-curling scream of agony.

"What happens if you cross the net?" Jae asked, voice muffled through the static in Taehyung's ears as his heart fell out of his chest, bile rising in his throat.

This couldn't be happening. This had to be fake.

"That," Hoseok whispered gravely, features unreadable as Taehyung trembled beside him, staring at the medics who helped lift Jeongguk's body onto the gurney.

"The worst injury in volleyball," He murmured, words Taehyung couldn't possibly register in his mind. "To ever possibly exist."

♡♡♡

uh oh