Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Lexi's friends had kept two seats beside them, so I definitely couldn't ignore her ex.
The ex I'd punch at my birthday party because I'd learn he was gay and had used Lexi as a beard without her knowing it.
This was a few days ago. And I still hadn't apologized.
Lexi and Daphnee were looking between us, like they were waiting for something dramatic to go down.
Lexi sat down first, so I was stuck on the seat closest to Alex.
Yeah, they definitely wanted us to talk.
"So?" I said as I sat down.
"So?" Alex replied.
"Should we do this now, or later?"
"What? Making out? Class about to start so maybe later," he answered.
I couldn't help it, I snorted because it sounded so much like something Josh would say, and it totally caught me off guard.
Also, I had assumed he'd throw a chair at me, not joke around with me.
I was ready for the chair.
Not so much for the jokes.
The teacher started the class at that moment, so we stopped talking.
Which was a problem, because now I was freaking out. What was I supposed to say after that whole fiasco had gone down?
Alex was one of Lexi's best friends. I couldn't have him pissed at me.
I was gonna spend time with him if I wanted to be Lexi.
And if I was completely honest, I did want us to be friends.
The class went by fast, too fast for me to come up with anything clever, especially since Lexi kept nudging my foot with her own under our desks now and then, with a cheeky grin while staring ahead and acting like nothing was happening.
I wanted to smack a quick kiss to her cheek.
But I also wanted to figure out what to do with Alex.
When the class was finally over, we all gathered our things, Alex and I taking our time.
Lexi linked her arms with Daphnee and said, while pulling her friend away, "we'll leave you boys together to talk things out."
I was grateful that my Pumpkin had figured out I didn't want an audience for this.
Part of me wanted to wait for a more appropriate moment to have this conversation, but I also knew I shouldn't be dragging this out. I needed to apologize.
Alex and I walked out of the class side by side.
I could think about fancy ways of apologizing and come up with ridiculous ways to make up for punching him, but in the end, what I needed to do was the simplest thing.
"I'm really sorry," I told Alex sincerely.
When I was younger and Lexi and Alex still hadn't dated, I'd wanted to be friends with Alex. He was in Lexi's crowd and he seemed nice and funny. And just like Lexi, he seemed to always be in a good mood too.
So, part of me had wanted to be his friend.
But then Alex dated Lexi, and any desires I had of being close to him went out in smoke.
When we played football together and got closer because of the team and our group of friends being the same, I'd found myself sometimes wishing things were different so I wouldn't resent him.
It was my time to act on that now.
"It's okay," Alex replied, looking at the ground.
"No, it's not. I had no right to punch you like that. Whatever I was feeling, whatever I was thinking, it shouldn't have been an option in my mind. I have no idea what you went through. It's not my place to be angry for Lexi. And it's certainly not the way to deal with what that revelation made me feel."
"I know I fucked up though," he looked up, smiling a little sadly at me, "It was a long time coming honestly. I'm surprised Lexi never sucker punched me before," he laughed, "I kinda deserved it. I did use her. I didn't think about her. I just thought about myself and about what I needed to do to protect myself. It was selfish. I made a mistake."
"I also made a lot of mistakes, but I didn't get punched for it every time."
"Yeah, but she's my best friend and I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have used her feelings for me, even though I knew she didn't actually love me. She just thought she did. Now that I'm in a relationship with someone I can actually love, I know what she felt for me wasn't real. We were both trying to fool ourselves in that relationship."
I stopped walking, looking at him in disbelief. "You're in a relationship?"
He snorted at my surprised expression. "Yeah."
"You have a boyfriend?"
He laughed again. "Yes, as we've established before, I am gay."
Suddenly, something else made sense. That Travis guy? Right?
"Wait, the guy at the football game?" I asked.
"Yeah," Alex answered, smiling a little.
I slapped a hand on my forehead. "Jesus, I'm really a dramatic little bitch. I was jealous of him for like a second, because I thought he might like Lexi since he'd been to the game with her."
Alex burst into laughter this time. I was happy that I seemed to entertain him so far. "Wow, you really are."
Things were clicking in my head now. The Dump Creek. Of course. Everything finally added up.
"So, wait. That person you've been texting is your boyfriend?"
"Yeah," he nodded.
I shook my head, discouraged with my own self. "I was getting pissed because I thought you were meeting up with some girl and didn't tell Lexi. I actually thought for a second that you might be dating Daphnee," I admitted.
This time, Alex actually had to stop walking and lean on his leg to control his laughter. "Oh, that's absolutely hilarious! Really?"
"Yeah..."
He whipped his eyes. "You thought I was dating Daphnee?"
"Well, actually, I thought maybe you were fooling around with Daphnee and didn't want Lexi to know."
He shook his head, still laughing. "I'm gonna have to tell the girls. They're gonna make fun of you sooo much."
I deserved it. I was ready for it. "I'm aware."
"Ah, the simple mind of a heterosexual boy."
"Hey," I interjected, but still chuckled.
"I can't believe you never even had a suspicion that I was gay. You're more perceptive about stuff like that usually and the people around you," Alex added, as we kept walking, heading in the direction of our lockers.
"I think when anything and anyone is connected with Lexi, I lose all of my sense," I sadly admitted.
I lost any kind of rationality around my Pumpkin. It was basically just caveman thinking all the time.
"Clearly."
"I've been selfish in a lot of ways. I've been only thinking about my own feelings and my problems most of the time. I've been too caught up in my own self," I added.
Alex tilted his head a bit, still walking beside me. "I think you're not giving yourself enough credit here. You've been there for your friends many times. I've seen it."
"I hated you," I admitted.
He shrugged. "Understandably. I was the guy you wanted to be."
"And I thought you were taking her for granted. I thought she excused everything you did because she loved you," I explained.
I'd been so caught up in my own head, with the way I was feeling that I couldn't think of a world where any guy around Lexi couldn't like her.
But that was just because I loved her so much.
"I mean, she did. But it wasn't the kind of love you thought."
"A lot of things weren't what I thought."
"Now you know," he said, and smiled at me. "I'm not your competition Blake, I never was. She's liked you for longer than you think, you know."
I froze again, looking at him confused. We were almost at our lockers now. Daphnee and Lexi were waiting beside them. "What?"
What did he mean by that?
"Pretty sure she had a crush on you when you first started school with us," Alex said like it was no big deal.
"Huh?"
Yeah, no, he'd lost me here. Because that made no fucking sense. I was the one with the seven-year-old unrequited love. I'd been loving Lexi Grayson on my own, for as long as I'd known her.
There was no way she'd like me too at any point. Lexi Grayson had only started to tolerate me a month go. Before that I was just an annoying nuisance in her life. She hadn't noticed me when we were younger because she was too much in her head, and when she'd finally did, all I was to her was a manwhore.
This was my reality. Anything else was impossible.
"It was all over her face. She was smiling that goofy smile of hers. She liked you," Alex continued saying complete nonsense.
No. Nope, nope, nope. Not possible. Inconceivable. "You're kidding."
"She stared at you the whole time you stood in the yard before getting inside the school. You walked into the class and she wanted you to sit with her. She told everyone her seat was reserved. She never looked at me like that."
I looked to my left. Lexi was standing a few feet away, giving us our space, and waved at me the second our eyes meet, her face beaming with a smile.
"That exact goofy smile," Alex chuckled beside me.
I was just kinda frozen there.
Well, today was definitely a day of revelations.
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Happy Monday my little Pumpkins! <3
I hope you enjoyed this second chapter of Little Bitch! Finally, Alex and Blake had their little talk. And Blake learned a little more than he expected. :P Next chapter shall be fun. ;P
Honestly, it's nice to write these chapters because, like I know how things end, but I'm still not sure of the road we're taking, unlike I was with Smirking Jerk. With Smirking Jerk almost al the dialogue was already written and I had a pretty specific plan to follow. Now, anything can happen. And it's super fun to write these chapters.
I hope you're enjoying the tone and the pace so far! :D
I shall refrain from babbling on longer. I survived the FEQ, but I'm still pretty exhausted, so I'm gonna get some more writing done and go to bed quickly.
See you all next week! I LOVE YOU GUYS! :D
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