Author's note: hey guys! Here again with the next chapter. I noticed a lot of you are annoyed with Arthit right now; in this chapter I'm hoping you would come to understand him a little more.

On that note, I took some liberty with Arthit's history, because there isn't much known about it, so some of the things here are my creation or deductions I made from studying Arthit so don't think that it is cannon.

So now on to the story. Hope you enjoy it. : )

Chapter 11

I don't want that Kong. We can't just cut off your whole life and move on to be by ourselves. I won't be the reason you destroy your family. Do you even know what you have? Why are you so ready to destroy it?

I was so angry at Kongpob for being so selfish and so carefree. He didn't know anything. When I was young, I was truly loved by my family and I loved them too. Even though we were just three, we were complete, but who knew one day I would be separated from my father, that my mother would nearly lose her mind to grief and I would have to do everything to keep us together.

For me my family was broken, irreparably, and nothing could ever repair it. How could Kongpob ask me to do the same thing to his family, the people who took me as their own? I can't.

"Why can't you understand me?" I asked him and turned to leave. He didn't follow me and though I wanted him to, though I didn't want this injury to fester and become ugly, I knew anymore done tonight would just cause worse hurt so I continued walking, listening to the snap of twigs under my feet to pretend I couldn't hear Kong's choked sobs behind me.

We didn't talk to each other the rest of that day. I went up to his room at least six times to knock and check on him but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't face him. Thinking clearly now, I was appalled at the lie Anya and I told Kong's father. It was far worse than anything Kongpob and I have ever said.

At the time I couldn't even think of any way to stop Kongpob and when Anya said that, I supported her without thinking about it. I was so bogged down by my panic I would have agreed to anything to stop Kong.

Now I stood by his door for the seventh time that night. The whole house was sleeping and only I was awake, staring at the door opposite Kong's, which was Anya's.

I was unable to stop the guilt but I felt a minute less stupid and guilty when I stood by his door and listened to the silence coming from the wooden structure.

"Arthit," Kong's father was at the steps looking at me. He was the last person I wanted to see. I got the feeling he didn't really believe Anya's story and so he didn't tell Kong's mom. It was the only explanation for why she wasn't already all over them since she liked Anya so much.

"Can't sleep?" he asked when we both went downstairs to the kitchen.

Sleep was impossible tonight. I nodded.

"Are you alright? You haven't been talking since you and Kongpob came back from the waterfall."

"I am fine dad."

"It doesn't have anything to do with what you told me, does it?"

I paused before shaking my head. I couldn't pour out my feelings to him or even take back what Anya had said.

"Tell me this, Arthit. Is Anya telling the truth?"

"I—"I opened my mouth to say yes but I couldn't. My chest grew tight with pressure because Kongpob didn't love Anya, he loved me and I won't let him love anyone else. I couldn't bear it, to admit that his love was for anyone but me a second time.

"Look, son. I hope you understand that you can tell me anything. Whatever Anya is covering for the two of you, it's alright to say it."

Tears stung my eyes and I looked away. Really? Could I say it? What about the repercussions and what about the effects. What would my image look like to him if he knew what I was to his son?

I scrubbed my eyes and swallowed then I looked at his face. He had a kind face, you wouldn't know it meeting him for the first time but he was kind. Would he really be okay if I told him?

"Dad—"

"What are you two doing up," Kong's mother stood by the door to the kitchen, her hands holding her night robe closed.

"I should go to bed," I said." Good night dad."

I left feeling how close I had been to ruining everything. I was just about to admit the truth, to Kong's father. If Kong's mother had not come in I would have spilled my soul and then it would be over.

The next day Kong refused to go anywhere. His mother talked with him all morning and he didn't even say anything back to her. He just won't speak or move or even eat.

Irritated she came to me, "Arthit son, can you get that stubborn son of mine to leave the house. We are returning to Bangkok tonight and we don t have much time left to enjoy ourselves. Tell him to stop sulking,"

It was obvious she thought Kong was upset over what she had said but I knew why Kong was being like this. I didn't promise anything because I am probably the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

Still I agreed and with breakfast Kong's mom prepared on a tray, I climbed the stairs up to his room. I was only at the corner when I heard voices; Anya's and Kongpob's. It wasn't loud but I could make out what they were saying.

"I hope you will go to my father and correct what you said." Kong's voice sounded different, coarse, likely broken from crying.

"Kongpob, you know I did that for you right? Tell me you understand." She sounded on the verge of tears.

"No, I don't know that. I was ready to say it, and if not for you all this would have ended."

Or turned worse, I thought. Kong just thought that everything was simple and easy. He thought that he would tell his parents and they would just be okay. No, actually, he was ready to turn his back on them if they were not and then what would I do. If I let Kongpob leave his parents, won't I just be an ungrateful bastard who should never be showed kindness?

"But P'Arthit looked so scared. I don't know what he is so afraid of but I couldn't help it, I spoke without thinking."

I hear Kong groan and then said something low.

"Kongpob, that wasn't nice. You know it's not true, P'Arthit really loves you."

I bit my lip and look downstairs just in time to catch Kong's mom walking by the hallway. I couldn't keep standing there eavesdropping anymore. I took the final steps till I was in front of Kong's doorway. The door was opened and it bothered me vaguely that they were saying all that where anybody could just hear them but I said nothing.

They both looked at me when I knocked the door. Kongpob was standing with his back pressed to the window raillery and Anya was standing a few feet away from him.

Neither of them said anything and so it was ten to fifteen seconds of awkward silence then Anya said," I will go see if mom needs any help."

I couldn't look at her, I didn't know what to say to her, so I avoided her gaze and she passed me with a scent of lemons.

I stepped into the room and looked at Kong who had his arms crossed and was looking at me too.

I cleared my dry throat because I missed him and seeing him now just filled me with so much regret. "Your mom wants you to eat breakfast," I said.

Even though I wanted him to eat, I couldn't eat myself so I was being a little hypocritical.

He said nothing and we stood there in silence. After a moment I walked over to the table and placed it there. Then I turned to leave.

I stopped by the door, "she would also like you to come down soon so we can go on a short tour," I said over my shoulder.

Silence.

I bit the inside of my mouth to restrain myself— from doing what, I don't know. Then I left and went back to my room to endure and to accept that Kong was mad at me and would be for a while, but he won't stay mad, he can't. Soon we would have to talk about it.

When we went out for the sightseeing, Kong came with us. He walked side by side with Anya, whispering. I was in the middle of our group and Kong's mom and dad were in front of us, Kongpob and Anya were behind me.

I tried not to let it get to me; the two of them talking, why Kongpob was mad at me but not at Anya. I mean logically, I knew why and I knew I deserved it, but nothing could stop me from feeling unsettled by it.

Still I endured it. I gritted my teeth and gave him the time he wanted. I turned away when I saw them stand by a store pointing at things and laughing. I looked away from their hands that brushed too often. I even tried not to imagine their legs touching each other under the table we had sat to eat lunch.

"Arthit son," I blinked and looked at Kong's mom. She was looking at me worriedly. "You don't look so good, are you alright?"

I haven't eaten anything since yesterday and I was starting to feel the effect; wooziness and fatigue. I nodded and pulled my elbow from the table. I looked towards Anya and Kongpob and saw them looking at me. I held Kong's eyes, happy to see him paying me attention, I almost started smiling.

He looked away and spoke quietly to Anya, his voice barely audible.

"Sure thing, Kong." She replied to whatever he said.

My eyes narrowed. She has never called him that before. Sure it wasn't a difficult nickname but it bugged the hell out of me to hear her call him that.

"Mom, Kong and I are going to go buy some things, we'll be right back," she said and smiled my way.

When they walked away, I jumped when I felt Kong's mom hold my hand. "Son, what's wrong, you can talk to me."

I pressed my lips together and looked at her hands. "I'm sorry mom, for making you worry."

She sighed and pulled her hand away. "Anya and Kongpob look like they are getting close don't they?"

I said nothing and continued looking at the table. "I don't know what is happening and I don't want to hope too much. If they are just being friends it would be too disappointing. Anya is such a good girl, she would be so good for Kongpob. Her family is also good, and his dad would be so happy."

I bit my lip and I listened. It hurt me. I pretended to Kong that hearing how much his mother wanted Anya for him didn't matter, but it hurts me pretty bad. Especially now that we were not speaking to each other.

I wanted her to like me too, to think I would be good for Kong too, I wanted her to accept me, but every time I pictured her learning the truth and seeing her disappointment I just couldn't summon the courage to face it.

She told me to support Kong and Anya. "Even if Kongpob is being stupid now, I think he would one day see Anya the same way I see her. It's high time he settled down."

When she left me alone to go find Kongpob, I took a trip to the bathroom of the restaurant. It wasn't a fancy bathroom with tile walls and clean sinks but I didn't care when I held onto the sink and poured my stomach out.

There was nothing but juice to spill and that left a sick, sweet taste in the back of my throat. The water was running thankfully so I rinse my mouth and kept holding on till the nausea faded.

I washed my face and tried to look less sickly than I felt, then I walked out. Kongpob was at the door. I paused at the sight of him and he turned without saying anything and left me there.

I wanted to call him back. He was being so mean right now. I needed him right now. I felt like going back to the bathroom so I waited with the feeling of my stomach shunning quietly by the bathroom.

It was a few minutes later that I returned. The group was standing around the table we had used.

"Alright," Kong's mom called, "let's take one last picture before we go. We don't know when next we would be coming back here."

Everyone agreed then we stood together and Kong's dad gave someone the camera to take the picture. Kong was looking at me but he turned away before I could really tell.

I moved to stand next to him, feeling the warmth of his body felt better than I have ever known, I just wanted to hug him. I wanted to feel his arms around me.

"Arthit son, let Anya stand this way," the words didn't register early because I was looking at Kong, my focus and need for him overpowered my thought about what people would see.

"P'Arthit?" Anya's voice was what broke my focus and I turned to see her smiling face. "Do you mind?"

I did mind. I looked at Kongpob to see if he felt the same. All throughout our time, before yesterday, he always wanted me by his side. Yet, now he stood stoic and I got the feeling he didn't care.

I inched away quietly, but inside I was aching and that sick feeling turned worse.

We took the picture and then we got ready our things and rode to the airport. At the airport I pretended not to see Anya and Kong. They were just as close as before and honestly I was done with it. I am not going to endure even another moment of it.

While Kong's parents were talking about our tickets, I walked to the two. They were seated on one of the waiting seats looking at something on Anya's phone.

"Kongpob," my voice was loud enough for him to hear but only Anya looked up. She blinked at me without saying anything.

"Kongpob," I said again and this time I took his hand. His cold black eyes locked with mine. "I need to talk with you," I said.

"I don't want to talk to you," he said barely opening his mouth. We weren't broken up, I don't think we can break up although I might have crossed a line but I was done with his attitude.

'Well then just listen," I tugged his hand to make him get up and he remained stubborn, sitting and looking at the phone screen. "Kongpob!"

He stood so fast I nearly fell. His eyes were glaring at me. I didn't let it shake me. "Let's go," I took his hand again and dragged his resisting self away from eyes and ears. The bathroom turned out to be the best place for our talk.

Once we were in, he tugged his hand free. I stared at him helplessly because I have never seen Kongpob be this angry at me.

"Are we broken up?"

His eyes flew to mine with so much shock, it filled me with satisfaction. So he didn't want to break up.

"So what the hell is going on between you and Anya?"

"What does it look like?" he had the guts to ask me that.

"Your mom thinks you two are good for each other, she said I should support you, possibly till you marry her." my voice turned bitter. Yes I was bitter that I had to endure that and it was because of his new closeness with Anya.

"Well given how much you want to keep your secret, I might have to."

I was silent partly because I didn't believe he actually said that. "What?"

"Face it, P'Arthit, you don't ever want to tell my parents about us. You are scared about what they would think about you and you don't want to lose face, in front of them, in front of your colleagues. So P'Arthit, you are never going to tell anyone that we are dating."

"I am," I said strongly, "we just need more time—"

"Nothing is going to change that hasn't already. Whatever you are hoping for, whatever sign that is supposed to show when we are going to tell them won't appear P'Arthit." His voice was so bitter and filled with anger, I was disturbed by it. It was so foreign on Kongpob.

"Soon you will tell me to marry someone else to keep your secret. Soon I don't know what kind of lie we would have to build and keep building till we are so in deep we can't find our way out." He turned away from me, I don't know whether to hide tears or because he couldn't stand the sight of me.

"That would never happen," I said. "I know it looks that way, and I'm sorry I told your dad you are in love with Anya, but we would tell them. I promise—"

"No, don't promise me anything P'Arthit," he raised his hands and when he looked at me his eyes were dry, "I have given up hope and that's done now."

"So what, do you want to marry Anya? Are you done with me?!"

His tears came like a surprise rain and shocked us both. Then he started crying. Not sobbing but all out crying like I have never seen before.

"I wish I was done with you," he said.

"I want to be done with you." He looked at me with such desire in his eyes I was on fire in an instant. I opened my mouth to breath.

"I still want you." he walked to me without pause and took my lips hard enough to hurt and gripped my hair, pressing me to him as his mouth forcefully devoured me.

I forgot our location and wrapped my arms around his back and kissed back like I wanted to breath him in. we panted in hunger as he walked me back to a wall.

He pulled back and looked at me through half opened eyes, they were focused on my swelling lips, and his grip on my hair turned painful. "I will marry anyone you want, P'Arthit, but you can't. You swear that to me right now that you will never become another's"

It was crazy but hearing him talk like that turned me on so good. I moaned and tried to reach for him, my hands were under his t-shirt exploring him. But he wouldn't let go of my hair. I nodded fast so he could start kissing me again.

'swear it," he growled and lowered his mouth to my neck. I moaned loudly, it was as if my body had not been touched for a long time.

"I swear," I said, thenhis mouth found mine in a rush and I was so completely lost.