(Link to randomiser i used: https://incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org)
Hilda: Time for plan G.
Hilbert: Don't you mean plan B?
Hilda: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Rosa: What about plan D?
Hilda: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Nate: What about plan E?
Hilda: I'm hoping not to use it. N dies in plan E.
Bianca: I like plan E.

Hilda: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!
Hilbert: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Rosa: More or less, I guess...
Nate: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!
N: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.
Bianca: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!

Hilda: Rules are made to be broken.
Hilbert: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Rosa: Uh, piñatas.
Nate: Glow sticks.
N: Karate boards.
Bianca: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Hilda: Rules.
Hilbert:

Hilda: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Hilbert: Nope, absolutely not.
Rosa: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Nate: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
N: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Bianca: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

(The same one but more realistic)

Ghetsis: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Hilda: Nope, absolutely not.
Hilbert: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Rosa: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Nate: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
N: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Hilda: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Hilbert: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Rosa: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Nate: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
N: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Bianca:
Bianca: I have emotional scars.

Hilda: Croissants: dropped
Hilbert: Road: works ahead
Rosa: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Nate: Shavacado: fre
N: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Bianca:
Bianca, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

*The squad right before Hilda's wedding*
Hilbert: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Rosa: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Nate: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
N: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Bianca, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Hilda: Hewwo.
Hilbert: Hihiiiiii!
Rosa: Greetings, Humans.
N: Three kinds of people.
Nate: I want pudding.
Hilda: Four kinds of people.
Bianca: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
N: Five kinds of people.

Hilda: Hilbert... How do I begin to explain Hilbert?
Rosa: Hilbert is flawless.
Nate: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
N: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Bianca: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Hilda: I CAN'T DO IT!
Hilbert, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Hilda: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Rosa: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Hilda:
Hilda: I appreciate it,
Hilda: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Nate: Hilda-
Hilda: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
N: Hilda we gotta-
Hilda: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Hilda: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Hilda, motioning to Bianca: NOT FUCKING THIS

Hilda: We need to distract these guys
Hilbert: Leave it to me
Hilbert: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Rosa, Nate, and N: *Immediately begin arguing*
Bianca, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

Hilda: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...
Nate: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!
N: In your pantry!
Hilda: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?
Nate: Is your friend here?
Hilda, motioning to Hilbert: Yeah.
Nate, to Hilbert: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(
Rosa: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-
Rosa: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!
Rosa: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN
Everyone else: No.
Rosa, to Nate and N: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS
Nate: YAAAAAAAAY!
N: THE PRESTIGE!

Hilda: Good morning.
Hilbert: Good morning.
Rosa: Good morning.
Nate: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
N: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

Hilda: Are we really going to let Hilbert keep Rosa?
Nate: We kept N.

Hilda: Anyone d-
Hilbert: Depressed?
Rosa: Drained?
Nate: Dumb?
N: Disliked?
Hilda: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Hilda: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Rosa will and will not eat.
Hilbert: Grass? Yes!
Hilda: Moss? Yes!!
Hilbert: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Hilda: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Hilbert: Worms? Sometimes!
Hilda: Rocks? Usually nah.
Hilbert: Twigs? Usually!
Hilda: N's cooking? Inconclusive!
Nate: How did you... test this?
Hilda: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it.
Nate: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
N: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Hilda: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Hilbert: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Hilda: Three of us saw it, Hilbert. How do you explain that?
Hilbert: *points at Rosa* Sleep deprivation. *points at Nate* Paranoia. *points at N* Delusional personality disorder.

Hilda: Bye Hilbert! Bye Rosa! Bye Nate! Bye N! Bye Hilbert!
Rosa: You said 'bye Hilbert' twice.
Hilda: I like Hilbert.

Hilda: Looking left cause you don't treat me right
Hilbert: Looking right because you left
Rosa: Looking up cause you let me down
Nate: Looking down cause you fucked up
N: What is wrong with you guys

Hilda: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Hilbert: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Rosa: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Nate: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
N: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Hilda: What does 'take out' mean?
Hilbert: Food.
Rosa: Dating
Nate: Murder
N: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Hilda: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Hilbert: Several traffic violations.
Rosa: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Nate: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
N: Also, that's not our car.

Hilda: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!
Nate: To the city?
Hilda: Yeah, no matter what!
N: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?
Hilda: I... I don't know!
Hilbert: Oh come off it, be serious!
Hilda: I am serious!
Hilbert: You're insane!
Rosa: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!
Everyone:
Hilda: What???
Rosa: Or maybe it was a basset hound!
Hilbert, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

Hilda: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Hilbert: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Rosa: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Nate: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
N: My moral code, is that you?
Hilda:
Hilda: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Hilda: You're a loose cannon, Hilbert.
Hilbert: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Rosa: I think you play by your own rules.
Nate: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
Hilda: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Hilbert: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. N is a loose cannon.
N: *smashes a chair*

Hilda: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Hilbert: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Rosa: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Nate: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
N: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Hilda: Nothing in life is free.
Hilbert: Love is free!
Rosa: Adventure is free.
Nate: Knowledge is free.
N: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Hilda: Is having a penis fun?
Hilbert: It has its ups and downs.
Rosa: Sometimes it's a little hard.
Nate: It's a pain in the ass.
N: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

Hilda: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Hilbert: ... Your what?
Hilda: My friends.
Rosa: Are they saying "friends"?
Nate: I think they're being sarcastic.
N: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Hilda! All of your friends are in this room.
Hilda: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Hilda: I'm an idiot.
Hilbert:
Rosa:
Nate:
N:
Hilda:
Hilbert: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Hilda, trying to convince N to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Hilbert: And loud!
Rosa: And grumpy!
Nate: And oblivious to reality!
N:

Hilda: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Hilbert: Have everyone stand.
Rosa: Bring three more chairs!
Nate: The most important ones can sit down.
N: Kill three.

Hilda: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Hilbert: 'Prettiest Smile'
Rosa: 'Nicest Personality'
Nate: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
N: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Hilda: What's something you guys are better than Hilbert at?
Rosa: Mario Kart.
Nate: Yeah, video games.
N: Emotional vulnerability.

Hilda: Favorite horror movie?
Hilbert: It
Rosa: Saw
Nate: Annabelle
N: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics

Hilda: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Hilbert: Rude.
Rosa: That's fair.
Nate: Not again.
N: Are you going to want this back?

Hilda: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Hilbert: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
N: Socks are Feetie Heaties
Nate: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Hilbert: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
N: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Nate: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Rosa, annoyed: You are disappointments

Hilda: You kidnapped Hilbert? That's illegal!
Rosa: But Hilda, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Hilbert, or destroying our dreams?
Hilda: Kidnapping Hilbert, Rosa!!!
Nate: Hilda, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!
Hilda: What, to kidnap people?!?!
Nate: To work together!
Hilda: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!
N: Hilda, we all agreed a celebrity is a not a people.

Hilda: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Hilbert: Tubular AF!
Rosa: Mood to the max!
Nate, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
N, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she's a square.

Hilda: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Hilbert: Not if they consent to it.
Rosa: Depends who you're stabbing.
Nate: YES?!?

Hilda: Hilbert isn't answering their phone
Rosa: I'll call
Hilda: Nate and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Hilbert: Hello?

Hilda: Yo is Nate sleeping or dead?
Hilbert: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Rosa: Yeah, so did I.
Nate: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Hilda, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Hilbert, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Rosa, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Nate, trembling: What are we playing

(Rosa has a jolteon now, I guess.)