"You know that I can't show you me, give you me
I can't show you a ruined part of myself"
The Truth Untold - BTS's Vocal Line

Earth wakes up from his afternoon nap. His eyes scan his hospital room, an action he had been doing the last few days. He heaves a sigh, disappointment filled his whole body. The figure he had been longing for is still nowhere to be seen.  The person who he is willing to give up his life for never show up.

During his coronation ceremony, he saved his fiancé during that dreadful day. When Kao arrested Earth's uncle toward the police car, he failed to notice the danger. Earth, who was standing behind Kao, did not though. He saw the tiny red dot on Kao's back. The moment his brain recognized it, his whole body had already moved. His hands reached out and pushed Kao to the ground. Earth took Kao's place and got the bullet on the chest. The last thing he saw was his mother's tearful face.

When he woke up, all his family members were by his hospital bed. They briefly gave him some explanation about the situation, refused to gave him the whole story. They kept saying his fiancé would be the one to explain everything. Yet, he has been in the hospital for a week; but, there is still no sight of Kao.

"Your Highness! Dr. Thitiwat is coming in for check up." Mark announces.

It's funny how Ohm Thitiwat is his attending physician, as a back up for the Royal doctor. After the last accident with Fluke, the family had trusted Ohm and his skill. They decided to let Ohm be the attending physician, allowing the Royal doctor to take some rest since he is reaching his retirement age.

"Come in!" Earth answers, his voice still hoarse from his sleep.

"Hey! How are you feeling?" Ohm strides in with his confident smile.

"Good except for the fact that I'm dying for a shower." Earth grumpily answers. He hadn't take a shower for a week. His body can't get wet since his wound is still healing.

Ohm chuckles at the sassy response. He performs the usual checkup and checks the wound, "Your wound is healing well. At this rate, you will get that shower in no time, Prince."

"If your no time is now, then we are talking. If not, I don't want to hear your comfort words."

At this Ohm didn't say anything. His eyes lose their mischievous glint that was just there two seconds ago. He just stares at Earth. Earth looks right back at him, trying to figure out the look that his brother's boyfriend is giving him.

Pity?

Sadness?

What is going on?

"What is is Ohm? Say it!" Earth commands in his Crown Prince's voice.

"Kao wants me to deliver this to you." Ohm reaches into his white coat's pocket to take out a white envelop and a black velvet box.

Earth somehow has a feeling that he knew what is in that box. He reaches out his hand to receive them. Ohm might see the tremble in Earth's hands, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he excused himself out of the room.

Once alone, Earth takes a few deep breath. He is trying to calm his nerve down. His heart is already beating faster. Using his shaky hands, Earth slowly opens the white letter. Kao's handwriting is dancing in front of his eyes.

"Dear Earth, my Crown Prince!
By the time you read this letter, I am already gone. I owe you an explanation for everything that happened. I'm sorry that I could not tell you in person; because I am a coward. I can't face you anymore for everything that I have done.

Everything started on the day when my mother passed away. It was a rainy day. She was laying in her bed, waiting for my father to come home. She kept waiting and waiting, her breath labored. Every 5 minutes, she would ask me if my father was home yet. Each time I answered no, she would have this disappointed look. But, she continued to wait for him. My father, on the other hand, was having fun with his mistress somewhere. He did not give an ounce of care for his dying wife. My mother waited the whole day until she could not anymore. Before she took her last breath, she made sure I promised her to always listen to my father, to always stay by his side no matter what. She said that my father always love me, even if he did not say it. She passed away right when I promised her.

I hate my father, Earth. I loath him with all my heart. He married my mother, told her that he loved her. However, his love died quickly. Then my mother, she had loved my father only to received disappointment, betrayal, and isolation. She loved him to the point of losing herself. My parent's love story taught me only one thing, love is nothing but a waste of time. I stopped believe in love. All the people that I have dated were for Lewisia' missions.

Despite my refusal to love, I still kept my promise. I blindly listened to my father, followed every command he told me. I knew many of his commands are wrong. Yet, I could not get myself out of that promise. She was my mother, the only person who had ever loved me. I could not broke her last wish.

My father is a greedy and ambitious man. He always want more. It's never enough for him, especially power and money. He joined your uncle in Lewisia, helping him plan treason against your family. Your uncle wanted to kill your whole family; then, he could take the crown. In order to infiltrate the Royal family, they chose me as the spy.
The perfect opportunity struck when your parents looked for suitors. They signed me up and hoped that I would landed a date with you. And I did, like we both knew. Each day, I tried to gain your trust and your love. Each day, I would report to them all the information I gained in the Palace, helping them preparing for the assassination of your family.

During this time, I also learned about my father's plan. He was helping your Uncle only to accomplished something bigger. He wanted me to be the King. Your Uncle only has a daughter. I would be her Prince Consort when she become the Royal Princess. Then, my father would assassinate your Uncle. Your cousin, who have no knowledge in politics, would have no choice but to let me lead the country as its King. My father's greed has no end.

They have a perfect plan. However, they did not think that I would fall in love with you. Each day I spend with you, a small light would leak into my dark heart. Slowly, my dark heart was filled with nothing but light. It only knows how to beat for you. For once, my promise is no longer pulling its chain on my heart. I started to disobey my father's command. I developed my own plan to help your family.

The day your father's airplane crashed, I purposely went to the crash site to secretly saved your father. I sent your father to my maternal uncle's house. I asked Ohm to take care of his injury. Then I asked Dr. Satiwa to find a distorted corpse that had similar built like your father in order to fake his death. When your father woke up, I told him the truth. Then, we gathered everyone we could trust to form a plan against Lewisia. I played as a double spy. Everything was in its course just like I planned.

Yet, I have overlooked the fact that your uncle is a cunning man. He had planned his own sniper to keep watch, in case if anything went wrong. I did not think that you would tried to save me. I am thankful, but I can't get over my guilt, Earth.

My hands are full of blood, Earth. Countless of people died because of me. If I refused my father's commands or if I came clean with the King earlier, things would not be like this. I kept my promise blindly, refusing to give any care to the world. Your sacrifice gave me a wake-up call. I have no right to continue to be by your side, after everything that I have done. I am nothing but trouble for you and your warm heart. You deserve someone better.

I return to you the engagement ring. Please forget about me! Hate me with all your heart. That is the only thing I deserve from you. I might be shameless to say this but I know there will be someone who will love you and deserve your love, more than I do. There will be someone who will always stay by your side and support you. I wish you happiness. You will make the best King for this country.
Goodbye!

Sincerely,
Kao"

Tears keep on falling, making everything blurry. Earth's sob fills the silence room. The pain in his chest is getting unbearable. His mind is screaming in refusal, denying the truth that he just found. He tries to breath but it is getting harder each second. Shallow breathes fill his lungs, he is hyperventilating. The machine by his bedside is crying out with him. Earth can hear the door being slammed, along with feet running. They are trying to calm him down; but how could he? His heart is being tortured by an unseen force.  He can feel the needle on his arm. Ohm has administered tranquilizer. His mind drifts into darkness.

The abyss has consumed Earth once again. This time, he is not sure if he can ever get out.
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A/N: Alright! Don't kill me you all! What is a story without a little angst? One of my reader was able to guest the story I planned. You guys are good! Once again, thank you everyone for reading! It's almost the end now. Love you guys! Stay safe