A month passed since then. Leon left me a text that night and never contacted me again — a text that I conveniently ignored for the longest time.

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L: Please talk to me when you're ready. I'll be waiting.

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It was me running from everything, again. It was as though I never learned from anything because I sought for my favourite mistake, rinsing and repeating them like a deadly addiction. With just a blink of an eye, it was already a brand new year, but I was still the same old me. Temperatures had dropped in the middle of January, but my heart felt even colder.

There was nothing special about my days, they rotated between school and home. I also agreed to take up a part-time job as a keyboard performer at a bar in evenings, earning money that I didn't need. It was a sudden decision of needing a constant distraction to fill a profound emptiness I felt in my life.

Looking down at my watch, it was half-past five and I groaned internally when I realised that I had to endure another hour before classes would end. While the instructor was rambling on about harmonic considerations, my attention was already lost within my own weariness. His voice sounded like a series of displeasing hums in my ears and all the words never got processed in my mind. I was growing frustrated and restless with each second, feeling a strong urge to get out of class and head home but I was too lazy to reply to the scholarship board on why I had skipped classes. So, I decided to endure through the whole torturous two hours' worth of insane buzzing in my ear.

Thankfully, the hour passed and the moment I was done with school, I slung my bag over my shoulder and got home in the fastest time possible. I kicked my boots away hastily and threw my bag randomly on the floor before slumping into the couch. 

Closing my eyes to rest for a moment, I nearly drifted off until my phone dinged. My hand lazily fumbled around the couch until I grabbed hold of my phone. I checked the notification and it was a reminded that I had work in the evening. Grumbling, I dragged myself to the showers and got changed. While I waited for the bus to my workplace, another notification sounded from my phone and it was Clara.

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C: Will you be at Trix tonight?

R: Yeah, you'll be there too?

C: I'll be there with Max and his friends. Come hang out with us!

R: Will do. Love you, Clarabug.

C: Love you more!

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-

My hands moved smoothly over the keyboard, playing the accompaniment for the vocalist. Scanning through the bar, I spotted Clara right at the corner with Max and his friends. I was sure that she also noticed me because she was beaming in my direction. A slight smile curved upon my lips as I tapped my feet and swayed lightly to the tempo when I played.

However, I felt another pair of eyes on me and it wasn't Clara. I couldn't make out the feeling, but it was irksome. Feeling uneasy, my eyes darted across the crowd and caught a guy staring at me. Tall, handsome, and with an air of smug confidence, the man leaned against the cushioned seat and smiled at me. I didn't like his attention at all — there was something vile and dangerous about him. 

The only I did in response, ignore.

-

I went towards Clara after my shift, greeting Max and the rest of his friends before Clara pulled me aside and popped the question, "Have you talked to Leon?"

"I think it's long enough for him to realise that I don't really want to talk about it?" I shrugged. My hand reached to take a filled shot glass from the table and downed it in a single gulp. The heat burned from my throat down, and I was craving for this feeling from within. I wanted something to replace the unending emptiness.

"Rachelle!" Clara chided, snatching the glass away from me. The glass clanked loudly when she placed it on the table snappishly. "For Christ's sake, stop running away and mope around! If you love him, scream it into his face and make sure he hears every single word clearly!"

"Then, what?" I lashed out. "It's been a month and we're just out here living our own lives and minding our own fucking business!"

"Stubborn bitch," Clara folded her arms and slumped back into the seat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you," I exhaled, raking a hand through my hair. Hopping off my seat, I pointed towards a direction and said, "I'm going to the restroom."

"I'll go with you," Clara offered.

"I can go alone," I shook my head. "I'll be back in a bit."

Splashing a handful of cold water over my face, I felt more clear-headed. I stared towards my own reflection and I could only sigh at my own disappointment at myself. With my phone in my hand, I tapped on the last message that Leon sent me and my gaze lingered on it for a moment too long. Hastily keeping the phone in my back pocket, I left the restroom and was immediately stopped by an outstretched arm.

I turned sharply and saw that it was the guy who was giving me dirty looks when I was performing a moment ago. I said curtly, "I would like to pass."

"Have some fun with me," he smirked.

"I'm not interested," I simply rejected, wanting to push his arm away but he was strong. Frowning, I asked, "Back off, will you?"

The man leaned close to me and whispered in my ear, "Feisty, huh?"

Instinctively, I pushed on his shoulder in an attempt to re-establish some distance between us, but he was fast to catch me by my wrists and there was a dangerous glint within his dark eyes that had me trembling. His other arm hauled me up by the waist and I was taken by utter surprise. Looking ahead, I saw that Clara had come to look for me at the restroom and I shouted towards her, "Clara! Help me!"

Clara directed her attention to my voice and found me immediately. However, the man was walking fast away. I stared at my best friend with horror in my eyes, and she was struggling against the crowd of people ahead of her. Eventually, she decided to turn around and rush back to Max instead. My head sobered up immediately and I thrashed against his hold, trying to get off his grip but I couldn't manage to escape. Overwhelmed by panic and fear, I shouted, "Let go of me, fuck!"

I was brought towards the back of the bar where the private lounges were. The man pushed me into one and locked the door behind him. Then, I finally realised who he was because the owner of this bar had warned me to steer clear of anyone shady because a crew of rich playboys had been going around the bars in this part of the city to pick up random women. Judging from the way he carried himself, I knew that he was also the kind to always get away with everything.

With a single swing, he threw me onto the cushioned seat, and I winced at the impact. I veered off immediately, trying to escape but he caught me back the ankle and yanked me back. Fear and unease filled me, and I was in the desperation of needing to escape. Flailing my arms, I managed to jab on his neck and caused him to stagger to the side. Catching the moment, I quickly scooted away from him and attempted to make a dash for the door — but my attempt was a futile one.

The man held me by the arm and swung me back, more forcefully this time. Air punched out of my lungs when I impacted the seat once again. He locked me down by pushing his entire weight on me and a strangled groan escaped from the back of my throat. I could barely breathe because he weighted a hell lot more than I had imagined. Then, he unbuckled his belt and slid it off. At that moment, I lost it instantly as I screamed, "Let me go!" 

Perhaps it was a bad idea to open my mouth because he took the belt and gagged me with it. I tried to shout through the gag but my voice was muffled and no one could really hear me at this point now. In the first place, I recalled the owner saying these lounges were sound-proofed.

He tugged forcefully on the belt and my head jerk back involuntarily, baring my neck to him. He lowered his head and I felt him biting hard on my neck, as though wanting to rip a part of my flesh off. I grimaced and writhed, my hands clenched so tightly into fists that my nails dug painfully into my palms.

His hands were clawing into every part of my body. I struggled, desperately trying to get out of his hold because the pain was unbearable. Yet, the more I struggled, the more sadistically satisfied he became. I was supposed to feel fear, but instead, I felt anger. So much anger. I couldn't even contain how much I wish to murder him right at this instance.

"Give up struggling," he said in a low voice.

I stilled and there was a hint of triumphant in his widening smile, showing off that he had successfully dominated me.

The man lowered his guard and released the hand holding on my wrists. Then, his head travelled down to the curve of my shoulder and I felt him removing the button of my jeans. With all the strength I gathered through all the rage in my system, I yanked my hands down and my elbows struck his shoulders hard. He stumbled back and hissed. The amount of anger in his eyes reflected mine, but I was on the losing end because he pulled me by the arm and yanked me towards him.

He gripped tighter this time, on my arm, on my neck.

"Bitch!" he spat. "Haven't met anyone as infuriating as you."

I was gasping for air with my heart lurching into my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, no longer feeling the strength in my limbs. When helplessness set in, I could only hope that everything could quickly end.

Just when I had lost all hope, the door slammed open. I tried to open my eyes but the flashes of coloured lights from outside blinded me. So, I shut them close once again. I wasn't sure who came into the room, there were sounds of shuffling feet and glass shattering.

I also wasn't sure whether it was the lack of sleep catching up to me or was it that my fear subsided too suddenly that I felt the man's weight off me and I floated into unconsciousness.

-

✿

I'm sorry for those who felt uncomfortable reading this chapter.