We appeared on a red rug. The 4chan logo was hanging over the reception desk in front of us. We walked to the desk, and the talker said, 

"Welcome to 4chan. Where would you like to go?"

"Take me somewhere random," u/poopeater19 said. 

A shuttle appeared behind us for some reason. We went in, and it took us to a weird subreddit. It was called, "/b/ [1]".

When we got out, we saw lots of people wearing the same black robes and masks. They didn't talk, they just stared at us. I worked up the courage to say something.

"Hi," I said. "My name is--"

Just as I was about to say my name, everyone shushed me. One person wrote something on the big board in the room. It read,

"You do not say your names here. Everyone here is anonymous."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because everyone here likes to play pranks," the person wrote in response. "We manipulated Matt Zimmerman's coffee into turning into poop! [2] We made him short circuit! [3]"

Everyone in the room snickered.

"We also made the peaches in a North Carolina orchard turn into apples," another one wrote.

This got me thinking. Maybe I could use these people to sabotage u/SexUndShit (because that's what heroes do).

"Okay, guys," I said to everyone. "I need your help. There's this user on Reddit called u/SexUndShit. He's been nothing but mean to me, and he's trying to take the Platinum Award away from me. I need your help to downvote his posts so that I can win the fight against him and get the Platinum Award."

"Do you have a plot device?" one wrote.

"Yes," I replied. "Why?"

The person who asked took the plot device out of my pocket, and inserted a card into a slot I had not previously known about. The device beeped, and the card was taken out. 

"Now your plot device can advance the plot and call us," the guy wrote.

"One more thing, guys," I said. Do any of you have a hyperlink back to Reddit? I need to go to r/PlatinumSquad."

One person created a hyperlink back to Reddit.

"r/thanks, you guys!" I said as the hyperlink took us back to Reddit. Before we knew it, we were in r/PlatinumSquad.

[1]: /b/ is considered the "Random" board on 4chan. It is home to lots of memes.

[2]: Ben is referring to Mark Zuckerberg.

[3]: This refers to a joke on the internet that Mark Zuckerberg is a robot due to his lack of social skills.

~ A Note from the Ghostwriter ~

READER! WHY HAVEN'T YOU HELPED ME YET?! BEN IS CHANTING, "Kill them all!" UPSTAIRS! PLEASE SAVE ME!

~