Extra Chapter 3: Zee

​"Wouldn't everything be different if I just died?"

​On a soft bed, an aging body struggled amidst the silent night. Outside the window, the moon gently poured a pale waterfall of light onto the agonized expression within a dreamscape. Unfortunately, the one in pain had yet to find a way out.

​"Why did you say you loved me, only to not believe in me in the end?"

​The gray-haired man kept his eyes tightly shut. His wrinkled forehead was beaded with sweat; his stiff limbs shared the same fate of being drenched to a chilling cold.

​"Hia, can you really love this Nunew?"

​His dry, purplish lips moved in a panic, as if wanting to cry out, but he remained utterly powerless. What was left to justify?

​His chest was crushed by a suffocating sorrow. That ethereal voice was like a hand poised at his throat. The man shifted with difficulty, a feeble protest against the stifling sensation invading his body. Yet, despite every effort, the ache did not subside. On the contrary, the desire to escape the nightmare was slowly being eroded away.

"As for me... I no longer have the strength to keep loving you.'"

​"Khun Zee!"

​The man snapped awake at the call, startled. Due to the suddenness of it, the bright lights in the room dazzled his eyes. It took a long moment for the dull ache to recede before he slowly looked toward the nurse standing by his bed with clouded eyes. What was wrong with him?

​"Another nightmare, sir?"

Observing the sweat-drenched forehead, the nurse pulled a tissue from the nearby table to wipe it away. Her tone sounded like a question, but it was, in fact, a statement.

​Poor sleep quality had long been the norm for this elderly man, Zee Pruk.

​"Do you need to change your clothes to sleep more comfortably?"

The nurse looked at the damp back of his shirt and couldn't help but ask.

​Khun Zee nodded; he clearly disliked the sticky sensation while sleeping.

​The nurse, having received his answer, moved quickly to fetch clean clothes, a basin, and towels. Having cared for him for a long time, she knew he suffered from a mild case of germaphobia. It was better to give him a quick sponge bath.

​The entire process, from the sponge bath to changing him into a fresh set of clothes, took nearly half an hour.

​The nurse tidied up the supplies, turned off the lights, and wished him a good night. With that, her fixed daily duty as a night-shift nurse was complete. From now until morning, her time was relatively free.

​The cheerful sound of soft-soled shoes hitting the floor grew distant. Zee lay on the bed, staring fixedly at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep.

​This was his third year in the nursing home.

​It was also the thirty-eighth year since the Little Sun had vanished from his world.

​Zee rested his arm across his forehead, the yearning in his eyes worn down by the marks of time into sheer exhaustion. The fragmented memories from the dream left him unable to stay still; he fumbled for his reading glasses and phone on the nightstand.

​The screen flickered to life, and his fingers followed a well-worn path to the photo gallery. Zee squinted slightly against the brightness of the screen, yet he had no intention of turning it off.

​His thumb slowly scrolled through each photo. The phone's owner gazed at the figure who occupied almost every slot in the gallery, his heart once again feeling adrift. However, this time, he didn't lose control as he once had.

​Time truly knows how to teach one to grow accustomed to suffering.

​His hand only stopped when his deep eyes caught an outlier video in the gallery. After a moment's hesitation, he finally chose to press play.

​"P'Kannika, the staff said you had something to say to me, right?"

​A soft voice suddenly echoed through the room. On the screen, a boy appeared, peeking shyly from the doorway of a dressing room. Not far from him sat a girl, composed, in front of a vanity mirror.

​It was clear she had been waiting for him for a long time.

​"P'Zee didn't come with you?"

​Kannika feigned a raised eyebrow, her hands busy removing her jewelry. The boy looked a bit surprised but gave an honest shake of his head. After all, P’Kannika had co-starred with his Hia Zee many times; asking after him was only natural. Besides, she was only two years younger than Zee, with almost as much experience in the industry. Thinking it over, whether professionally or personally, the boy thought it best to be honest and respectful toward Kannika. She was, after all, not just Hia's colleague and friend, but a senior in the profession.

​Having received the answer she wanted, Kannika gave a gentle smile.

​"I’m sorry for asking you here to speak privately, Khun Nunew."

​Kannika signaled for Nunew to sit on a chair not far from her, and he obediently complied.

​"However, as someone who has been by Zee’s side for a long time, I have a few things to ask you."

​Kannika spoke softly, yet it left Nunew stunned.

​"You and P'Zee are dating, aren't you?"

​His fingers instinctively traced the screen; it was as if Zee could truly see the mix of shock and shyness on the boy's face. The Nunew in the video seemed to hesitate for a moment before carefully speaking.

​"We are only in the stage of getting to know each other."

​Not an official public announcement, but a silent admission nonetheless. Kannika watched him through the vanity mirror, slowly turning her chair so they could face each other. She narrowed her eyes and smiled, but for some reason, that smile sent a chill down Nunew’s spine.

​"That’s good. In that case..."

​Her tone was elegant and composed, but her words were like a staggering blow.

​"Get away from P'Zee. Now."

​Across the screen, the old man could still feel the boy's trembling breath. But the Kannika in the video didn't care; she simply continued leisurely.

​"From the beginning, whatever I, Kannika, want, I must have at all costs."

​Looking into those cold, defiant eyes, Nunew knew what Kannika wanted. He shook his head and replied gently.

​"Hia is not an object."

​Nunew couldn't think of any reason to hand over the person he loved to Kannika. Moreover, the man he loved wasn't a mindless, inanimate thing. He had independent consciousness, personal feelings, and he had every right to choose his own love.

​He would only let go if the reason was that Hia didn't love him at all.

​"Is that so?"

​Kannika sneered, her mocking attitude clear. Her slender hand slowly fumbled toward a container of supplies nearby. In an instant, a pair of gleaming fabric scissors was within her grasp.

​"Tell me..."

​The cold blade brushed dismissively near his slender throat. The boy's horrified expression gave Kannika a thrill of pleasure she couldn't suppress.

​"If it were just you and me here, and I were lying injured on the ground... what would Zee think?"

​Nunew swallowed hard, his entire body turning ice-cold. For a moment, his mind heard a thousand alarm bells ringing. He leaned back slightly, unable to maintain his composure.

​"What are you planning to do?"

​Kannika looked at the defensive stance of the person before her and burst into laughter. The sharp tip of the scissors lightly touched his delicate neck. Her tone was fragile and kind; her eyes were filled with a wash of apathy.

​"Let’s make a bet: between you and me, who will Zee believe more?"

​Before the next scene could unfold, Zee Pruk habitually turned off the phone and put his glasses back in their place. On his familiar bed, he rested his arm across his forehead, eyes closed. His aging heart and labored breathing were seemingly unwilling to let him sleep just yet.

​That was the evidence video that had cleared the Little Sun’s name thirty-eight years ago.

​It was also the video he had never possessed enough courage to watch in its entirety a second time, in all those years.

​A few images remained raw; his blurred mind returned to the long-drawn nightmare. The youthful face on the phone screen slowly filled the shattered sounds in his memory—the few remnants of the dream. It was as if everything had happened only yesterday.

​The day his mistake had pushed the Little Sun away forever.

​"Nu..."

​Zee murmured, a single tear rolling down from the corner of his eye. Countless expressions on that beloved face enveloped his heart, a mix of nostalgia and haunting dreams.

​How many nightmares had kept him company through the silent nights?

​He didn't know, but every time he woke, he couldn't stop praying.

​If only that dream were real.

​If only you still existed in this world.