trigger warnings !!

negative self-talk, age difference relationships

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worst of you | tim drake
000 | am i a sinner?
rosyln | bon iver, st. vincent

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PROLOGUE
Carissa's Point of View

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Am I a sinner for lusting over someone who is barely an adult?

Maybe I was wrong for this?

Wrong for loving him. He's like ten years younger than me. How could this be right?

But it's wrong. I'm old enough to be his mother. I shouldn't feel this way about him. I should just let him go. He's so young and innocent. He doesn't understand the consequences of his actions. How everyone would see us. How they would think I'm a pedophile, and he's my newest victim.

I know I should resist, but I just can't. I know it's wrong, but I can't help myself. I'm a sinner. I should have known better. I should have never gotten involved with him. I should have stayed away from temptation.

But, he is incredibly strong, brave, and kind. I can tell he genuinely cares about Charlie and me. He goes out of his way to protect us and make sure we're safe from our abuser, and I can't help but feel drawn to him.

He's incredible. I love him with all my heart but I can't help but think I'm wrong for this. That we shouldn't be together. What would his family think? I'm ten years older than him and a mother but I can't help myself when I'm around him.

I want this to work. I truly do but I can't forgive myself for lusting for a man ten years younger than me. It's a sin. But, I guess that makes me a sinner.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help the way I feel when I'm around him. He makes me feel things I haven't felt in a long time, and it's like I'm being reborn.

His presence and care make me feel so incredibly loved and protected, that I have no will to resist.

Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to resist. I feel drawn to him. Lusting over him was a bad habit. Desire swells inside when I see him. 

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author's note !!

i hope you all enjoyed this story so far, i am working on chapter one 
so that should be up sometime within the next week or two !

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