━━━ ( 💌 ) chapter five...

the clinking sounds of fingers gently swinging to the metal snapped jaemin from his everlasting trance, the pale-looking male gazed to his side making the figure of a nurse dressed in white pumping some sort of medicine to his body, the liquid was probably the only thing keeping him in this world, and jaemin knew that it was useless, he was going to perish soon enough. even the hospital's atmosphere was suffocating his lungs even more.

after the nurse was no where to be seen, jaemin embraced his surroundings fully by sitting up-sadly his limp body wasn't strong enough to support any activities that involved moving, thus the only thing he could do was stare at the ceiling, leaning over the headboard for support.

just as he was adjusting his movement, the torment struck his chest like a sharp blade burying itself deeper into the core. he hissed and lightly screamed, holding the left side of his chest that was slowly failing him. jaemin's hands weakly travelled across the drawer searching for an antidote, finally pulling out a familiar orange cylinder-like container where his pills were stored. having enough of the torment he gulped down the medicine in a split second, leaning back once again, as the pain started fading away, leaving his body alone.

" you're finally back," his raspy voice managed to break out, once he noticed that a familiar figure dressed in a black hoodie stood beside his hospital bed.

the female just nodded, placing a plastic bag down on the shelf which consisted food for both of them," just finished my part time job."

" i'm being a burden for you aren't i? " jaemin starred at her hazel eyes trying to figure out the emotions hidden behind it.

she scoffed and shoved a plastic bowl to jaemin's grasp, " i'm your cousin, it's my responsibility and my own will to take care of you, so stop overthinking with that amoeba sized brain of yours."

he pushed the bowl away, refusing to churn the protein contained inside it, instead he uttered out yet another question to his cousin, " jangmi noona, tell me honestly," he took a deep breath, knowing very well his question wouldn't receive the best response, " how much time do i have left? "

" what are you talking about huh? the doctors are treating you well, you have plenty of time to recover, " jangmi avoided his eye contact and continued busying herself with tidying jaemin's belongings.

it was all a plain lie to mask the untold truth, jaemin knew better, he would rather leave the world in peace to a place where he longed for, where he could reunite with his family rather than being bounded to the hospital bed for an eternity and living over the hard work and sacrifice of someone else. it didn't go unnoticed by the korean, how jangmi was constantly on and off from different part time jobs to support their lives, how dark circles were forming under her eyes indicating lack of sleep.

" don't lie to me, i overheard the doctor's conversation the other day, please tell me, " jaemin's body started shaking virtuously, it pained him to say he lost all hopes of living but it pained him even more to see his cousin's constant suffering because of his disease, " how much time left? "

jangmi's actions came to a halt, heaven knew she was just an angel trying to contain her pain but the truth was she was no angel, just an ordinary human born with feelings and emotion, born with a heart capable of caring but also one vulnerable of tearing, " stop! please, yes, i've been hiding my pain from you, but i did it for your good jaemin, would you ever realize that huh? i care for you, i hope and wish every single day that you will get better, " she bit her lip in distress, as jaemin only lowered his head, not a single word escaping from his mouth, " i've done my best for you, and i've only realized that it's useless...it's useless cause i'm the only one fighting for your life while you're here counting days! "

" there's no use in hoping anymore noona, i've been filled with too much guilt and regret living in this world, just by breathing, " he wept even more, " destiny should have saved kyungmin, not a boy who has no future, like me."

jangmi grew speechless, her mouth locked shut but her body reached for the drawer pulling it open to reveal a mess filled with different variations of antibiotics and sanitary equipments, though far below the surface lied the square shaped object the female had been roaming for. she harshly pulled the frame, containing a portrait of two identical boys clearly taken way back in the past, hugging each other whilst sitting on the ground.

" this is your brother right? the person you have been wanting to save all along, tell me jaemin how would kyungmin feel up there when he finds you losing every strand of hope ? how would he feel once he hears those words being uttered from your mouth? " jangmi ended her sentence still with the tears pooling in her beautiful eyes, she weakly lowered her body embracing jaemin's weak ones, " please jaemin, you have to fight for your life, the world still has so much more things to offer you, so please don't lose hope-if not for me, then do it for kyungmin, do it for jeno too."

jeno, he almost forgot about his dear presence, but his name itself was already enough to fuel the fire blazing deep in his heart, shining a glimmer of hope he had long abandoned. jangmi words were right, losing hope won't change the course of the past, but his actions in the present would be able to change the course of the future. most importantly, jeno's future, jangmi's and also his. jaemin had to do something quickly to ensure all of their future- so it would be nothing but the best.

" i'm sorry, " he gripped on jangmi's black hoodie, running his hands through the female's back in a comforting manner, " you're right, the world still has so much to offer."

it didn't stop jangmi's emotional crying, instead her sobs were heard echoing throughout the room and it genuinely worried jaemin, " i've always tried to be a strong cousin for you, but the world was cruel and it almost drained all my hope, but knowing you were apart of my life jae—i couldn't just leave you like that, i had to fight and so do you. "

" i'm sorry noona, i'm so sorry."

jaemin could only chant it like a spell over and over in a fast pace, jangmi fought her life for both of them she did her part, put all her efforts into curing jaemin's disease, so it was only right for him to do his part too. he was going to mend the misunderstanding lying in the past, and most importantly fight for a chance to continue a much better life.

" for kyungmin, for jangmi noona, for jeno," was all running through jaemin's head, the words acted like a motivation for jaemin to write a brand new chapter of his life.

his thoughts ran to the book placed on the table in front of his bed, there was a strong urge to open that book and let the pen dance across the rough paper, to forge a letter directed to a good old friend. but jaemin was wise enough to focus on the person he was currently with, to repay her hard efforts and days of never ending labour.

so he did what he should have done, started building hope and fight for happiness.

" can you take me somewhere? somewhere that can remind me of my childhood. "

and thankfully this time, the response he got was a sincere smile and a nod.

⌨ ᶻᶻᶻ elena is typing ...
finally a chapter talking about jaemin, a rollercoaster of emotions huh? just like jaemin in this story, a lot of you are probably dealing with hardships especially in this pandemic, where a lot of lives are lost but hey don't lose hope just like jaemin did. again, even if the world may seem so cruel you will find your happiness, may it be in a form of a person, a thing or a place. so life and the world does have a lot of things to offer you, so please don't lose hope and keep fighting your own battles, you will make it i believe in you, even if it may look difficult and impossible.

also back to the topic about the story, can anyone figure out the relation between jaemin and kyungmin, and also jaemin and jeno ?

that's all for today's update, remember always have hope and fight for your happiness !!