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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

May 17th, 2016

Bucharest, Romania

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Bucky began to realize that guilt was a lethal thing.

It was cancerous, corrupting the only sane parts of him and leaching it of life. A living tumor prying open his insides with its razor-sharp claws and exposing his raw nerves. Leaving them unprotected against the slashing wind and poisonous rain, baring the damage to the world.

It was unrelenting, constantly ebbing at his consciousness. Demanding attention, a palpable ache in his heart that refused to wane. Only offering him relief when he gave into the dark of the night and his mind fell asleep.

But the most grievous thing about his guilt was not that it was everpresent, not that it hurt his heart, not that it refused to go away.

It was because it was going to hurt her.

He knew if she found out, it would tear an even greater fissure into Allie's glass heart. The core of her being which shone in even the darkest of places, a celestial piece of heaven that beated only for him. An organ he was so fortuitously allowed to hold in his hands which would shatter upon learning his secret. The heart he swore to protect, to guard as if it were his own.

And he thought he was protecting her. Shielding her heart from the pain, from the agony she would feel if she learned that Bucky was the one to kill Howard. Stopping the boot that threatened to step on her heart with his own hand, taking the brunt of the hurt for her. Letting his ivory bones crack so that her own organ wouldn't suffer.

And that was why he swore to never tell her.

"C'mon Buck, just let me have a try."

It had been a few weeks since he relived that memory. Remembering that the Winter Soldier had killed Howard, that he had killed Howard. And Allie had been nothing but perfect, being her ever angelic self every day. Promising to help him remember in any way she could, one of which included her powers.

"No doll, I already told you that I don't want you to do it." He sighed, running his metal fingers through his mop of dark tresses anxiously.

Because he couldn't. He couldn't let her find out.

"But Tony said that I have been getting better. The pills are working so it's not like I am going to accidentally kill you." She pouted, legs folding as she sat perched on their mattress they called a bed.

"Yeah, and what about the last time you tried to get my memories back?" He inquired impishly, disguising the shame that coiled inside him like a serpent. Furling around his heart and squeezing with immense pressure, threatening to cut the entire organ off.

"I didn't mean to make you blind." She glowered.

"You still did it."

"You weren't actually blind anyway!" She cried, hands flaying defensively. "I can't make people actually blind."

Sighing, Bucky shook his head, a useless attempt to shake the guilty thoughts from his mind. "It doesn't matter. I don't want you to do it, Allie."

Allie frowned at him in confusion. She wasn't dumb, she didn't lack intelligence or believe in ignorance. She had known something was wrong with Bucky, something that had been bothering him for a while now. Something bad enough for him deny her help and tremble in her hold.

But she didn't know how to help him. She thought that it had been something to do with his memories, perhaps him not being able to remember something he wanted to. After all, he hadn't told her about any new memories for a few weeks now. So she had offered him help, promising him that she could try to relieve the drought. But he kept denying her assistance.

And that left her wondering what was wrong, if maybe she was the problem.

"Alright, I won't force you." She murmured softly.

"Doll—"

"You don't want me to do it because of last time though, right?" She asked nervously, gazing up at him as if his answer would break her heart. Confirming the suspicions that ebbed at the back of her mind. Mutilating her mind back into its old destructive habits.

"Allie, doll." He cooed, sitting down next to her on the mattress and letting his coarse hand entwine with hers reassuringly. "I trust you and I trust your powers. But I don't want to force myself to remember things anymore. If they come, they come. But I am quite happy living my life the way it is now."

And there it was, that guilt again.

"Okay, I'm sorry." She murmured, not entirely believing his words but choosing to let him be.

Noticing her reluctance, Bucky brought his thumb tenderly to the ivory skin of her cheek, softly grazing the area with the pad of his finger. Ignoring the shame that coiled in his gut as he did so, more intently focusing on lifting his girl's mood.

"Why do you always apologize for things you don't have to be sorry about?" He commented teasingly, offering her a soft smile.

"I don't know." She blushed.

"Doll, I trust you with everything in me." He murmured, eyes trailing down to her rosy lips. "I love you."

"And I love you." She replied, her breath hot with desire. Almost instantaneously changing her mood from anxious to lustful. All because of his touch.

He wanted to kiss her, to let the world fade away as he focused on only her. But deep down, he knew he shouldn't.

Because every time his lips met hers, he was reminded of the guilt. As if the contact acted as a stimulus, evoking that consuming shame like a conditioned response. Involuntary and consistent. He couldn't bear it, the thoughts rampaging in his mind when all he wanted to do was enjoy her embrace. To lose himself in her love. He knew he shouldn't, but he just couldn't help it.

And so he did, all because he was a selfish being. Greedy for her touch.

Their lips collided swiftly, letting the rest of the world fade into the periphery. Out of sight and out of mind. Bones liquefying as they furled into each other's hold. Her hands raking through his dark hair, tugging it roughly to an elicit a hoarse groan from his mouth. Her lips curling upwards into a grin as he shifted his own down the expanse of her neck, trailing heat across her soft skin.

His hands gripped at her waist, burning on her skin like a flame. His mouth doing sinful deeds as she basked in a feeling of pure pleasure, a rose flush finding its way across her cheeks as she let her moans echo into the air. Roughly pushing her back on to the bed as he heard the heavenly sound.

He pulled his now swollen lips away from the area, his darkening cobalt eyes meeting hers. Gazing over her beautiful countenance, taking in the flush of her cheeks, the devilish glint in her eyes, the swelling of her lips. Trying to sear the sight into memory, because he knew he was the luckiest man in the world. And luck runs dry eventually.

Without wasting another second, they met in a violent clashing of lips, collapsing into him like he was her end and her beginning. His wandering hands snaking down her back, tangling into her dark curls and tugging her closer. She sighed his name as if it were a slice of heaven bestowed upon her. Her breath short, pants relentless, eyes swirling with lust.

"Bucky." She sighed, her sweet voice echoing into his ear and sending his entire being quivering.

His touch began to drag lower, achingly slow as he felt her shudder underneath his touch. Leaving a trail of saffron embers burning across her skin, eyes rolling shut as she felt a tidal wave of desire consume her. Lighting her up like a wildfire, burning with catastrophic allure. A feeling so intense it bordered torturous pain and all-consuming pleasure, the distinction between the two waning with each passing second. His fingers dragging lower and lower until—

RIINNNGGGG.

Reluctantly pulling away from his hold, she let out an exasperated sigh. Her head falling back against the mattress as Bucky fought to let out an annoyed growl.

"I should probably—"

"Do you have to?" He cut her off, teasingly placing soft kisses along her neck. Begging her to stay, to forget about the phone call and return to their carnal desires. A temptation she fought tooth and nail to resist.

"Only 3 people have that phone number. And they only call for good reasons." She murmured, forcing her honey eyes to meet his own. Gazing into the ocean of disappointment and frustration that stared back.

Grumbling indignantly, he rolled back onto the mattress with a huff. Running his hand through his hair as a string of curses fell from his plump lips. His cheeks still flushed as the desire that had only moments ago completely overwhelmed his body began to dissipate.

Allie ignored his groans as she forced herself up from the mattress, hurrying over the mobile phone that sat on the kitchen table. It's ringtone echoing into the air stridently, a harsh sound that demanded her attention. Her hands quickly curling around the device, a small smile lighting up her face as she saw the caller ID.

Quickly answering the call, she brought the phone up to her ear with a grin.

"Tony?"

"How's my favorite fossil?"

"I thought that was Steve?" She smirked, oblivious to the look of shame that overwhelmed Bucky's features.

"Compared to you, no way."

Rolling her eyes at his response, she sat down on the bench, curiosity coiling in her abdomen. "So what's up? You don't usually call me at 10 a.m?"

"I am currently in a bit of a predicament. One that I can't even see myself fixing." He had sighed through the phone, arousing a palpable wave of concern in Allie.

"Sounds like a disaster." She frowned. "And pray tell, how do you think I will be able to figure it out if not even the genius Tony Stark can?"

"You're close with Steve, closer then what I will ever be. So I need you to help me soften the blow in any way that I can."

"What blow?" She immediately questioned, dread slithering down her spine, mutilating her features into one of fear. "Tony, what's going on?"

"I have just been served with documents that have the potential to tear the Avengers apart."

"What do you mean?"

"The Sokovia Accords. They require any enhanced individuals to declare their abilities to the United Nations and act with governed protocol. All international missions have to be cleared by a UN committee as well."

"And Steve would never agree to that." She sighed, running a hand through her only recently messed up hair.

"No, he wouldn't."

Steve was a complicated man, exceptionally different to everyone else that Allie knew. He had a strong moral compass, with an affinity to always point towards those who needed help. Drawn to those who were unable to help themselves. She had assumed he had always been that way, likely due to his own perceived weakness prior to receiving the Super Soldier Serum. And as such made it his mission to protect those who, like him, felt they had no one to rely on. No one to save them from harm and stand up to the big guy.

And in this case, the UN was the big guy who was threatening the people's right to unequivocal safety. A sentiment Steve would never stand for.

"I think we both know that there is no way to get Steve to change his mind when it's set on something." She spoke, a tremble of amusement coating her words.

She heard Tony chuckle through the phone, the sound smooth and familiar. "Yes, he's a pain in the ass that way."

"Yes, but that's just who he is." She smiled weakly.

"So, do you have any recommendations?"

Allie let out a dubious sigh, brows furrowed as she thought. Unsure of what she could say to help ease Tony's burden. Her thoughts briefly interrupted as she felt Bucky's cool metal hand find its way to her tensed shoulders, kneading the flesh with a frown of his own plastered on his face.

"I don't know what to tell you, Tony." She exhaled after a moment. "Steve will only ever do something if he knows its the right thing to do. If it protects everyone, and more often than not that doesn't include himself. So as long as the Sokovia Accords allow him to protect all the people he has become Captain America for, he will sign."

"But if it doesn't," She continued, a warning disclosed beneath her somber words. "You will never be able to get him to agree."

"I need him to sign, Allie." Tony murmured, his worrisome words arousing a wave of saddness within her. "And I don't know if he will."

"Well, why are you signing?" She questioned, her hands slipping into Bucky's free one as his other rubbed at her tense skin.

"Because we have caused too much damage trying to save the world. I have caused too much damage." He spoke, words sticking to his throat painfully. "Even when I think I'm saving everyone, there are still too many people who are sacrificed in the end."

"But that's what happens during war, Tony." She reasoned. "There are always casualties."

"We can do better though. The Avengers need to be put in check, too make sure that we are saving as many people as we can. And if we, the good guys, can't follow the rules. How are we supposed to be heroes to the people? We are no better than the bad guys."

"I understand Tony. Truly, I do. And I will support you with whatever choice you make." She pleaded softly. "But I think that the real battle will be persuading Steve to agree."

"I know."

"As long as you show how this will be better for everyone, for the people predominantly, I think you may be able to persuade him." She noted, giving him a weak smile that he would never see. "He's patriotic, not unreasonable."

"Truer words have not been spoken." Tony chuckled, a sound that Allie hadn't heard in far too long. But it didn't last long until it was replaced with an exasperated sigh. "Look, I gotta go. I'll tell you how everything goes."

"Alright, good luck Tony."

"I'll catch you later, fossil."

And with that he hung up, leaving a rather worried Allie sitting alone whole her world seemingly crumbled around her. Tony and Steve, her two friends that both deserved the entire world and everything in it, men who always put the lives of others above themselves, fighting for their own friendship. And she didn't know how she could help.

But in the end, at least she knew she had Bucky.

"What was that about?" The man in question asked, pushing himself between her legs and lacing his arms loosely around her neck.

"The Avengers are being put on a leash, apparently." She shrugged, placing the device in her hand down on the wooden table she sat on.

"Wow." Bucky mumbled, his metal fingers delicately twirling a piece of her dark hair.

"Things don't look good, Buck." She sighed, gazing into his eyes imploringly. "I'm worried."

"Doll, everything will be fine." He responded reassuringly, drawing her into his arms with haste. Letting her rest her head on his shoulder, inhaling his musky aroma, a scent that somehow dissolved all her worries into smithereens. Like dust being swept away by the wind. "Just have a little faith."

And with that, she clung to him like he was her oxygen. The one fundamental thing to ensure her survival, to keep her heart beating and blood pumping. Always craving for more, no matter how much she already had. Coveting for it like a drug addict craved for his next fix, always more, more, more.

And he just tried to ignore the guilt.

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HEY EVERYONE!

wow i literally just had a panic attack because i thought Wattpad deleted the entire last half of this chapter. Thankfully I found it in saved revisions (a literal godsend) so i didn't have to rewrite the entire thing!

on another note, i am really sorry for the short chapter! I know its a hell of a lot shorter than literally every other chapter i have written but i promise i will make it up next week with a monster of a chapter!!

P.S: that means the official start of Captain America Civil War!

Anyway,, onto the questions!!!

1. What do you think of the chapter?

2. Do you have any guesses for what is going to happen next?

3. Who's your favorite Marvel villain?

4.This is not a question but if you have read these books so far and not left a comment, feel free to say hi and comment something nice so i can meet you guys! i promise i am not as mean as i seem (:

Until next time!!!

— Grace