Sorry, it's been a while!

I've been writing NONSTOP (srsly). It's probably not the wisest decision for me to write three books at the same time but whatev YOLO WOOOO!!

And say hello to our very special guest:

PETER: HEY, GUYS!

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( eleven. petty mistakes )

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Natasha's eyes snapped open, her body jolting upwards in a sitting position. She tried to breathe through her nose while gripping the sheets tightly. Relax, Natasha. Breathe. She felt hot and trapped. Something wet and cold trickled down her forehead, and it was only then she noticed that her entire body was covered in sweat, and she was burning up. Her hair stuck out in all places.

She looked to her right to see if she had woken him up by accident, but was relieved to see she didn't. He was still sleeping soundly, his arm still draped around her torso. Carefully, she lifted his arm while she slid out of the bed. Steve shifted slightly, but he remained asleep.

A faint smile dusted her lips shortly at the sight of him. He looked better this way, only because it was the only time she saw him (somewhat) at peace. The past days really started to take a toll on him. He had always looked worn-out. His blue orbs that usually held so much purpose was slowly showing hints of doubt and weariness.

Not that she was in a better shape.

Because that weird chick had the nerve to fuck with their minds that made them even more of a mess than they already were.

She focused her gaze on the window in front of her. The moon indicated that it was still too early to be this up, but she didn't want to go back to sleep. The nightmares kept coming back. It kept haunting her. It opened up again the doors to her past that she swore she'd never go back, and it just reminded her that no matter how hard she tries-even if she spends her whole life trying to wipe out the red in her ledger-she can't. The damage has been done. She can't undo any of it.

She can't escape any of it.

Natasha didn't know she was silently crying until big, strong arms had wrapped around her and pulled her into his embrace. She instinctively pressed in, and let her body sag and muscles become loose.

"Shh. It's okay, Nat." Steve whispered. She didn't even notice him wake up; too engulfed in her own thoughts. The lump in her throat became even harder to ignore, and she fought hard to keep her tears from bursting like a dam. "You're okay. Just breathe, love."

There was something about Steve that made her put her walls down. Something pure. Warm. Unselfish. Freeing. He treated her in a way no one else did. Clint was her friend, yes, but she owed him a debt. He already knew everything about her. Her lies. Her mistakes.

But Steve?

'It doesn't matter who you were or what you did, Natasha. What matters is who you are now. I love you. And in any version of you, I'd still choose you', is what his answer is every single time.

He was the one, good thing left in this world that convinced her the world may not be as undeserving and vile as she accepted it to be. She pushed herself to be different. Better. Deserving of him, even.

If Captain America, the very embodiment of goodness and truth, could find it in his heart to trust her-love her, even, then, maybe, there was still hope for her.

"You want to talk about it?" Steve asked softly after a beat of silence. She hesitated. She couldn't burden him the battles she was having in her mind when he was already dealing with a good load of his. "You can tell me, it's okay."

Steve couldn't see her, but the crack in her voice told him she was really crying. A wet glimmer of tears shone in her usually impassive green eyes. "I keep coming back to it." Her voice dropped, "She just reminded me I can never escape who I really am."

He tensed up. He knew exactly what she's talking about. After that Maximoff girl got into their heads, they've been completely disoriented. Natasha, especially. Steve was worried but he couldn't bring himself to comfort her earlier when he was just as unstable as well.

He couldn't tell her his either. It was in the darkest part of their minds that neither was ready to show the other. "There's more good in you than you think, Natasha." You're not this monster you make yourself as. "You're nothing less than what she showed you."

She didn't answer. He felt the heavy rising of her chest followed by the loud thumping of her heart. She turned around to face him. His face broke out to a frown, looking at her with incredulity for even thinking so low of herself.

She doesn't do it because she was purposely undermining herself, no, it's because the world made its job to remind her that. No matter how many times Steve assured her the opposite, the voices in her head were louder, disagreeing with everything Steve told her. She always tries to listen to Steve more than her own because he knew he'd never lie to her, but it was goddamn hard.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you before-"

He stopped her, understanding how hard it was for her just as it was for him. "It's alright." He sighed, "I'm sorry too."

'There's no time. You need to go.'

'Captain America, God's righteous man.'

'Is there even a home for us?'

'Pretending you can live without a war.'

'It's okay.'

Those echoed through his thoughts. Natasha's voice. Ultron's voice. Both haunted him to his very soul. He was just as shaken as she was but he kept his cool. He tried to.

Natasha reached to grab his hand, her fingers clenching around his firmly. She was struggling to face his eyes but she did. Her green orbs locked with his soft, blue ones. Her voice faltered, "Steve... what did she show you?"

A promise he never kept.

A trust that would be forever lost.

A love he never fully showed.

He brushed the strands of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He let out a sigh, a deep crease appearing on his forehead. He swallowed down, shaking his head feebly. "Running out of time." He dropped his gaze, feeling his heart break. "Waiting too long."

Natasha squeezed his hand, before pushing herself forward to embrace him again. He buried his face in her shoulder. She didn't want to let go. "You'll stay, right?" You won't leave, right? You'll stay, just like you promised.

She could feel him nod through her shoulder, hugging her tighter like he was afraid of losing her. Natasha almost gasped in relief, but she asked him again, sounding unsure. "Till the morning after?"

Steve chuckled, leaning back to look straight in her eyes. "Till the morning after." he promised.

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The memory briefly slipped into Natasha's mind.

All she had to do was close her eyes, and again, she'd feel his warm, calloused fingers brushing against her arm soothingly; the way his breath was tickling her shoulder as she leaned closer to his chest; and the way he was kissing her temple, whispering 'i love you' while she said it back.

She clung to the memory⁠-to the promise⁠-before everything had started to fall apart.

A single tear slid down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

For once, it was the morning after, but Steve wasn't here.

Shit. She needed to snap out of this. They had a job to do and here she was pining after the memories of her and Steve.

As expected, after that phone call with Steve, she barely slept at all. Time was going by faster than she'd like it to be and they're cutting it close here. She headed back to the CIA's Headquarters to meet up with Tony and the rest of the people he supposedly brought.

She wondered, who on earth could Tony possibly recruit? She had already talked to T'Challa herself so he wasn't an option. Thor and Bruce were off-world so they're out of the list. Clint? Unlikely. He was retired, and besides, he hated Stark.

So, who did Tony bring?

"Oh, God." Natasha's eyes fleeted back and forth from the file in her hands to the kid standing in the corner. Her face scrunched up. She glared at Tony. "Stark, what the hell were you thinking?"

They could get in even more trouble for this. Tony just practically brought in a minor. This kid looked like he couldn't be older than sixteen! Seventeen? He was too young to be dragged into this. Hell, Natasha was sure the kid doesn't even understand what he signed himself up for.

Tony caught her swearing, he pointed out flatly. "Natasha, watch your mouth around the kid, please."

"We could get sued for this."

"As if we're not going to be already."

Natasha sighed, looking at the kid expectantly. His eyes widened the second Natasha locked eyes with him. "Did he force you to do this?" She asked him. "Just say the word and you can go home."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Uh-no, he didn't, ma'am. Miss Romanoff." The kid gulped, nervously chuckling. He scratched the back of his neck. "I was hoping to avoid homework."

"See? We're all good here." Tony grinned widely. He gestured towards the both of them. "Kid, this is Black Widow, but it seems like you know that already. And this our friendly neighborhood, Spider-boy."

The kid flushed, a frown appearing on his youthful face. "Spider-man." He corrected. Tony shrugged, messing it up on purpose. He glanced back at Natasha. "I-I'm Peter. It's an honor to meet you, ma'am."

Ma'am. Just the single word reminded her of Steve once again.

Natasha tried to shake it out of her thoughts. She nodded, offering a small smile. "If you're going to be on our side, Natasha's fine."

Peter smiled, getting a little too excited. "O-Okay, Natasha."

Natasha stepped aside, observing how much help they managed to acquire. Besides Tony and Peter, Rhodey and Vision were here too. T'Challa told them he'd arrive shortly. So... that was that.

Was this enough?

Natasha sat down for a moment, feeling sick all of a sudden. Probably because they didn't know how this was going to end. It was as ridiculous as it sounds, heroes fighting heroes? The irony. Besides, these weren't just random heroes, these people were her friends. Her family.

And one of them, in particular, she was in love with. But that's an entirely different story.

"Can we do this, Tony?" She asked absentmindedly.

Tony looked at her in shock, not expecting that. He didn't know any other answer to that. "We have to."

Natasha hesitated. "Can we do this without it ending in a fight?"

Tony sighed. "This is Cap, we're talking about, Nat. You and I both know that's not possible."

Peter cut in, staring at them with eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. He stumbled over his words. "C-Cap? As in, Captain America?" He turned to Tony, slightly panicking. "Mr. Stark you didn't tell me we're bringing in Captain America!"

Natasha almost laughed if it weren't for the gravity of the situation they were in.

"Relax, kid."

"I can't fight Captain America! He's too strong! Look at him! And-and look at me!"

Tony patted Peter's shoulder, assuredly. "It's not like you'll be fighting him alone. Just keep your distance. Web him up if you need to."

That didn't sound good.

Natasha frowned. "Tony-"

"If he needs to." Tony reiterated, "I'm trying to keep this as civil as possible too. Peter can take his shield, and you can talk him down-"

Her frown turned deeper. "Me? Why me?"

Tony quirked a brow at her. "Why not you? If any one of us has a chance of talking some sense into him for the last time, it's you."

Natasha laughed humorlessly. "This time, I don't think so. He hates my guts."

"You're so dramatic." Tony reprimanded, grimacing. "Steve can't hate you even if he wanted to. We all know that."

She gave in. "Fine, but don't blame me if this gets him riled up more."

Tony nodded at that. "Deal." He tiled his head, "Any idea where they might be?"

Natasha paused. This really was happening, was it? And she was certain that whether this ended in a fight or not, nothing else was going to be the same after.

She had no choice. "They're in Leipzig, probably heading to the airport."

Realization dawned over Tony. Suddenly, the pieces fit together. "Of course," He muttered under his breath, "You can't arrest them if they're not in a country allied with the U.S.."

That made sense. They're planning a way out of the country. Far from the U.S., and definitely farther from Germany.

"Probably why they need Barton."

That grabbed her attention. Her tone raised higher. "What?"

Tony's shoulders slumped. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. They even took Wanda. Clint got her out."

"Son of a bitch."

Tony rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. "Again, Romanoff. Not while the kid's here."

"Shut up, Stark."

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Steve met up with the rest of his recruits: Clint, Wanda, and Scott.

Scott was a new face. Steve was a little hesitant at first, but he seemed capable enough. He did warn Scott that what they were about to do was out of the law, so they were pretty much a bunch of criminals at this point.

He thanked Clint for being here, not that he didn't think of doing the same to the rest, but because he knew Clint had more to lose than anyone of them here, including him. Clint had a stable life, a family, and he was sacrificing everything just to help him out.

Steve sighed. He really owed them big time. He wasn't going to let them down.

"Cap."

Steve glanced up to see Clint watching him from the side. He was already dressed to fight, and briefly paused from inspecting his arrows. "You sure about this?"

He sighed, frustratingly. "They're not giving me any other options."

Clint let out a breath. His face fell. "I really don't want this to end up in a fight. I don't think I could bring myself to fight... her."

Steve knew who he was referring to, and honestly, he felt the same way. Not just with Natasha, but to any of them. These are the people he'd been working with for years now. They aren't just his teammates. They're his friends.

He really didn't like where this was going but...

"I know." Steve agreed, avoiding Clint's gaze out of guilt. "I don't want this anymore than you do, Clint, trust me. I didn't mean it to come this far. And I... I can't fight her too. God, I can't."

The pain came flooding back. The image of him and Natasha were suddenly replaying in his head. Them fighting. Arguing. Laughing. Crying. Her walking away. Him walking away. Her hugging him. Him kissing her back. Her saying she knew Bucky before; had slept with him before. Sharon kissing him; him kissing Sharon back out of spite.

God. It was too much. He felt like he was going to explode from the sudden burst of emotions.

Clint took notice of this. "I can deal with Nat." He offered, strapping his quiver behind his back. "I can't guarantee it'll do much though because I'll likely hold back."

Steve seemed okay with that. "It's fine. I really don't want her to get hurt. Any one of us, actually."

Clint only nodded. "Understood."

Sam's voice broke through their comms. "Cap? We're in position."

Steve squared his shoulders, taking one deep breath. "Alright, Sam." He needed to put all his troubles aside. The second they step foot out there, there was no turning back. He needed to get his team through this. He was their leader, he couldn't let them down.

Before he could head out, Clint's voice stopped him again. "Hey, Cap."

Steve turned around, waiting for him to speak.

A ghost of a smirk rested on Clint's lips. "Who else knows about you and Nat?"

That tossed his Captain America mask right down into the drain again. He almost lost his composure. Steve's eyes furrowed, attempting a blank expression. "What?"

Clint shook his head in amusement. "It's fine, Steve. I know for a while now."

"Uh-" He was glad that he had his mask on, as to cover up the fact that he was probably blushing now. He can't lie to Clint. He was a goddamn spy too. Steve cleared his throat awkwardly, "Since when?"

Clint shrugged. "Just picked it up when you guys crashed the night in my house. Remember, Ultron?"

Ah. Yes, Steve remembered that vividly. "Oh." He lamely uttered. "Does Nat know you know?"

"Nah." Clint smirked. "But she will."

Steve rolled his eyes. Despite everything, he found the corner of his lips tugging upwards in amusement. "She'd kill you for finding out." He paused. "Then she'd kill me."

Clint laughed. "She loves us too much to do that."

Steve tensed at the mention of the word 'love' but if Clint had noticed it, he didn't made any move to point it out. He probably didn't even notice just how natural the words rolled of his tongue.

He tightened the strap of his shield on his arm. One glance at Clint, and he knew that the laughs they had just a second ago was nowhere to be found now.

It was now or never.

They headed out. Scott was already there, staring blankly into space. He was pacing off quite awkwardly and Steve had to call his name a few times to get his attention.

"Scott?"

Scott snapped his head to his direction. "Oh, Ste-Cap. Captain. Sir. Rogers." He stammered, running over to where he and Clint were.

"Steve or Cap is fine." Steve offered a weak smile.

Scott zipped his mouth, nodding.

Steve sighed, asking them. "You guys ready?" It was a rhetorical question. He swallowed thickly, praying to God that everything works out fine. "Let's move."

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PETER IS SO CUTE EVEN IF HE JUST TOOK LIKE 10 SECONDS EXPOSURE IN THIS CHAPTER.

Okaaayy, so sorry to cut it here. The full airport fight scene is going to be in the next chapter so I'm gonna squeeze it all in.

Thoughts about this chapter? (Especially that flashback scene?)

Please don't forget to leave comments and votes if you have time! Stay safe my dear readers <3