SERENDIPITY
CHAPTER FORTY FOUR
❝I'M JUST AS AFRAID AS I AM ANTICIPATING, DESTINY IS OFTEN JEALOUS OF US. I'M JUST AS SCARED AS YOU ARE, WHEN YOU SEE ME, WHEN YOU TOUCH ME. THE UNIVERSE HAS MOVED ON OUR BEHALF, WITHOUT EVEN MISSING A BEAT. OUR HAPPINESS WAS PLANNED, 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME, AND I LOVE YOU.❞

♔♔♔

      He studied her carefully with his eyes, almost as he knew what was going to happen next. His eyes traced over her features delicately, almost his last attempt to soak up all the little details before she's gone. As if his eyes wanted to take in this sight of her happiness before it was taken away from him. For it was happiness that he never deserved, never should've gotten a taste of. And maybe it was because of his selfishness that left him craving and gluttonous for more. Because too much of a good thing isn't good for you, he should've known that.

      The little white scar above her left hip should still be there if he rose her shirt a few centimeters above her waistline. And that little birth mark near her collarbone should be there if her shirt line was shorter. That little mole behind her right ear lobe should be there if she tied her hair up, revealing her neck for the whole world to see.

      Tom already knows all the little details. But why is he trying to memorize them one last time?

      Maybe because he can feel the end coming, even if he doesn't want it to occur. It's like trying to stop a car from colliding a second before it does. It felt like that. So there was no hope or any reason to try to stop the inevitable. But he could try at least, right?

      What kind of guy would he be if he gave up without a fight?

      "You look well," was the first thing she said to him since they stepped inside his trailer. After their embarrassing fight in the parking lot they soon went to the isolation of his trailer. She stood near the far end, her body situated on top of the counter. But Tom knew the meaning behind her words, he knew her too well at this point. He knew that 'You look well' meant something entirely different: you look happy.

      "Hawaii treated you well I see," he said softly as he nodded at her sun kissed skin. The actor found himself near the door, almost as if he was ready to run out for when the worst came. His hand gripped the handle of the door, even after he closed the door behind him. "You have this golden look to you."

      Camille snorted as she shook her head, her arms hesitantly wrapping themselves around her body. "Never was the type to resist tanning. My skin tans even when the sun comes out for five minutes." She was joking, or at least trying to. Almost as if by doing so the blow for what is to come won't be as difficult for either of them.

      But Tom was never one to stall around or teeter around the edge. It was almost stupid to think really. Take this for an example, if you know you're going to fall into a lake would you walk around it, hoping that it won't happen. Or would you rather jump knowing your limits and your restraints? At least with that you have control as to what happens.

      "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

♔♔♔

      Tom found himself to be a great liar, one of the reasons why he became an actor. His ability to put on an act in front of others was something he learned he could enrich. It was almost effortless for him to be someone else, to act like someone other than himself. But he learned over the years as an actor that there were only a few people he couldn't hide himself from; his parents, his brothers, Harrison, and Rosé, he couldn't hide from them.

      His face said it all.

      He expected her to run up and slap him or hit him for not telling her. Either way he would've accepted it. Tom knew that hiding things from Rosé is never a good thing. She's supposed to be his best friend, she's supposed to comfort him and take care of him when he needed comfort. He isn't supposed to hide his pain, not when she was always willing to take away that pain.

      Instead of doing either of those things, she hugged him. She brought his head down onto her shoulder, one hand on the back of his neck, and the other on his back rubbing small circles. He knew what she was doing by doing all of this, he knew what she was trying to get out of him. Rosé wanted him to cry, knowing that if she did this he'd be able to release all those pent up anger and sadness.

      "Rosie, I'm fine."

      "No you're not Tom. Just cry, it's okay."

      "No, Rosie, I'm serious. I'm okay — "

      "Goddammit, Tom! Just cry, cry, cry!" She's hysterical, he realized. He gingerly placed his hand on her shoulders and pushed himself off. Tom first noticed the tears on his chest and the shaking of her hands. Rosé choked back a sob as she clutched onto the back of his shirt.

     "Why are you crying, Rosie?" he questioned worriedly as he began examining her for any pain. She looked fine on the outside, but something's wrong, he knows it. Why else would she be crying? His mind thought of the first thing that could possibly be responsible for all of his. "Seth. Oh my God, what did he do Rosie because I swear — "

      "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," Rosé choked out as one of her hand slapped his chest repeatedly. She was consistent. Tom took the blow knowing that what she was saying wasn't true. But it made him question, what made her so emotional?

      Stop doing things and giving me hope. Because we won't ever happen, Tom, Rosé cried bitterly.

♔♔♔

instagram
direct messages

camibearabbott:
he likes you
delivered 6:36 PM

rosegoldcha:
you're wrong
delivered 6:36 PM

rosegoldcha:
he doesn't like me
delivered 6:36 PM

rosegoldcha:
he's too oblivious to even notice
delivered 6:36 PM

camibearabbott:
that's true
delivered 6:37 PM

camibearabbott:
but he does love you
delivered 6:37 PM

camibearabbott:
it was always you he chose in the end
delivered 6:37 PM

rosegoldcha:
no don't say that please
delivered 6:37 PM

camibearabbott:
but it's true
delivered 6:37 PM

camibearabbott:
you know when we first dated i told him we should tell you about it
delivered 6:37 PM

camibearabbott:
he said no and it's because you were going through your breakup with austin. he said it didn't feel right to tell you about our relationship and practically rub it in your face by doing that
delivered 6:37 PM

camibearabbott:
i didn't think of it that way
delivered 6:38 PM

camibearabbott:
even when we were on a date if you were hurt or needed a cry he'd send me home and apologize and give me flowers and we'd skype later on. but he always made sure you were okay first
delivered 6:38 PM

camibearabbott:
he likes you, he's just too stupid to realize it
delivered 6:38 PM

rosegoldcha:
he doesn't like me
delivered 6:39 PM

rosegoldcha:
nor will he ever
delivered 6:39 PM

♔♔♔

A/N;

Wow I love Camille Abbott more than I love myself? Shocking fact about me. 

Dedicated to LILWAVS for always supporting this book! Thanks so much!

Much Love Guys.

( written: september 4, 2017 )
( published: september 4, 2017 )