17. Losing Hope

       I was certain at least one day had passed since I had been taken prisoner by the Peacekeepers. I was getting extremely jittery and restless. Peeta and Gale still hadn’t shown up yet, rescuing Katniss or me. I just lost my tongue and my voice forever, now doomed to live the rest of my life as an Avox if I wasn’t freed soon.

I missed District 12. I missed Gale and his family: Hazelle, Rory, Vick, and Posy. Even though it wasn’t even two weeks I’d been gone from them, I felt extremely lonely. Katniss wasn’t ideal company when she did the same things I did: sit, eat, sleep, panic, be in agonizing torture, and slowly starve.

            It wasn’t the same, eating and drinking without a tongue. It felt so alien to me that I almost forgot that the nurse had done the operation. That still bothered me, how they could just do the operation while Katniss was in the neighbor cell on my left.

            I felt extremely fatigued. I began to get a disgusting odor to me. Maybe it had been more than two days since my capture. You couldn’t tell time in a prison cell because there were no windows to determine the time of day nor a clock to tell the actual time.

I felt isolated, trapped.

            I was extremely alone now, because Katniss had been taken from her cell to another room, most likely to get hijacked again. I didn’t know what sounded worse: being whipped to near death or hijacked so that memories of those you cared about were altered to make them twisted and evil. Both sounded equally horrible, only the whipping was much more physical than the hijacking…maybe. I wasn’t sure how the process of hijacking worked, and I’d rather never know.

            I looked at the camera that continuously watched me from above like a stalker. I wanted privacy; I didn’t want them watching me. If it were up to me, I would have ripped that camera from the wall. However, I wasn’t tall enough, and I bet I’d get punished even more if I tried such a thing.

            The door clicked open, tearing my gaze away from the camera. It was my nurse coming in; a Peacekeeper guarded the closed door. I immediately shrank against the wall. I relaxed very little when I saw she had my food on a tray, along with some new gauze, most likely for my back.

            “Let’s see how bad your lashes are today, dear,” said the nurse kindly. I held up my hand, a gesture for her to hold on. I slid off the bed and hobbled to the glass, but the nurse caught my wrist firmly. “Don’t worry about that. I brought a writing pad and pencil for you.”

            I sat back on the “bed” as the nurse handed me the pencil and notepad, and set the tray of food down by me. I immediately started scribbling.

      How long has it been since I’ve been here?

      “It’s only your second day,” she said. “It must feel like you’ve spent an eternity here already.”

            It had only been two days since I was taken? So technically it was the following day of my capture. Gale and Peeta had to be coming today, they had to be! There could be no further delay. My hopes were suddenly high now, but I wasn’t about to let the nurse see that, she’d get suspicious.

            You have no idea.

            The nurse chuckled. “Let me take your wrappings off. Don’t worry, I have no needle on me,” she added when I gave her a questionable look. She made me turn to face Katniss’s temporarily empty cell as she lifted up the back of my shirt. “Hmm, they bled a little bit. That should stop very soon. I’m afraid these may scar.”

            I blew out an exasperated breath, flapping my gums like a horse when I snorted. At least I could make that noise with my mouth. That seemed to be the only noise I could make now. If I would scar, I’d be just like Gale.

            The nurse wrapped the new gauze around me, and they fit snug. She was about ready to leave, but I tapped her shoulder. I had a question for her on the pad.

            Where is Katniss? I know they took her, but where and why?

      “I think you know the answer to that,” she said gravely. “I don’t see why you’re asking me.”

            Well, either the nurse did know, or she didn’t. But she knew that I knew somehow.

            I’m sorry I never got to really know your name, and I’m sorry for getting vicious towards you in the beginning.

      “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I would do the same thing if I was in your shoes. And my name is Sabina.”

            I’ve never heard of that name before.

“You’ve seemed to calm down a little bit, but I know you’re still afraid. Sometimes I regret doing this job, because I’m involved with hurting innocent people. I’ll come back for you later to check up on you,” she said before she left. Once again I was all alone; my only friend was the notepad.

            Suddenly, inspiration sparked in me. A notepad could also be a useful sketchpad, couldn’t it? I finally had something to do! Maybe that was another reason why Sabina gave me the notepad, not just for writing down what’s on my mind, but to occupy myself while staying here in this cell.

Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

            The notepad kept me occupied longer than I had thought. Over the course of a few hours—at least I was assuming hours—I scribbled tiny pictures and tried to actually draw something legitimate. I was glad Peeta taught me a little bit about drawing. If it wasn’t for him, I’d die of boredom by now.

I wrote down song lyrics too and mouthed them, pretending I still had a singing voice. As I mouthed them, I tried to recollect my talent. I had only heard it twice in my life, both times when I pretended to be Katniss to save Peeta from himself.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Katniss’s cell door creak open. The Peacekeepers had dragged her back in, threw her down, and left. My mouth was a gaping hole. How rude, I thought. Well, nobody ever said Peacekeepers were nice.

            I scooted across the bed and tapped on the glass with my knuckle. Katniss jumped and yelped, but soon relaxed when she saw it was me. I flipped over to a new page and tried to write big enough for her to see, but not too big to where I took up a full page.

            What did they do to you?

      “Where did you get that?” she returned.

            The nurse gave me it. I think she did it so I wouldn’t bore myself to tears. By the way, you didn’t answer my question.

            “They took me away for hijacking.” She shuddered. I was stunned, kind of. My suspicion was right.

            What did they try and convince you of this time?

      “Nothing, they just showed me truth.” My head tilted to the side. What truth? Hijacking is nothing but lies unless it’s used efficiently for somebody to believe that the lie is a truth. “I killed innocent people with my bow and arrows…innocent people, Katrina.” She sat on her bed, huddled together. “I’m never going to touch one ever again, because if I do, I’m sure I might kill an innocent again.”

            Okay, now I knew for a fact that Katniss did not do that. Sure, she killed innocent animals for food, but I doubt she ever killed someone innocent with an arrow. Fellow tributes in her Hunger Games didn’t count as innocent if they were trying to kill her.

I think I knew why the Peacekeepers did the hijacking: if by chance Katniss did escape, she couldn’t attack them using a bow and arrow. They had disabled her this way, by convincing her that she killed people—innocent civilians—with arrows.

            I scribbled a good amount on the notepad and held it to the glass. Katniss looked at me, squinting. I beckoned her forward, and she pressed against the glass to read what I had to say.

            Are you sure that’s true? It doesn’t sound to me like it is. They hijacked you, Katniss. Whatever they put in your head is a lie. True, you used a bow and arrow, but you didn’t kill innocent people.

But Katniss had no response to that, so I assumed she thought I was the one who was lying. I couldn’t believe she got brainwashed like this. I had to remember her hijacking could be much worse. She could be like Peeta, given bad images of the ones she loved, feeling the urge to kill them.

There were much worse things to convince somebody of than killing innocent people.

            This sparked outrage in me. This was just a stepping stone in Katniss’s torture by hijacking. Soon, the Peacekeepers would train her mind to believe more lies; soon she would be driven insane to where she’d give in and become an Avox, like me. Her torture would be dragged out, mine had been quick.

            I shot a nasty look at the camera. I bet the Peacekeepers were amused by this, watching us be driven insane, injured. I bet they wouldn’t find it amusing if they switched places with Katniss and me. No, they’d hate it like we did.

Since the camera wasn’t blocked by anything, I flipped them off. As un-lady like as it was, I didn’t care. That’s what I thought of the Peacekeepers. They could all go somewhere and die in a hole.

 I despised them. They were cruel, just like the president they served under. Like I said before, the only good thing about the new president was that he eliminated the Hunger Games. He increased Peacekeeper security, passing stronger punishment laws. There was little improvement from the transition from President Snow to our current president.

            I knew for a fact that I would get a lecture from the Peacekeepers if any of them saw me flip them off. I was sure there was at least one who saw me. I was sure Brutus wouldn’t miss me do anything bad if it meant he got to pay me another visit.

*       *        *

            Shockingly, no Peacekeepers barged into my cell, lecturing me about my flipping them off earlier. The only visitor I had was Sabina, who brought me food and constantly checked my injuries. She asked me if I had walked around much, and I shook my head. If I moved, I hobbled. All I had been doing was lying on the metal bed, wobbling to the glass to talk to Katniss, or once in a while, I crawled or even scribbled on the notepad.

Sabina tried coaxing me into walking a little bit (she told me it’d help the healing). I found out I could walk with an almost unnoticeable limp. This was a good sign.

            Katniss had her nurse bring her food, too. She never acknowledged her or anything. Both nurses were trying to help us feel more comfortable, it was just me was making an effort to try and ease my pain while Katniss continued to not try and make any social contact with anyone in the prison outside of me. It was a smart tactic, but I felt that if we didn’t escape soon, she’d be at my throat. I would say the same about myself, but I couldn’t talk anymore.

            It had to be sometime between the afternoon and evening judging by the time Sabina last gave me food when she came back in. She brought another notepad with her; she must’ve noticed the first she gave me was almost filled up entirely. She was perceptive.

I noticed that she left the door a crack open, I could see a Peacekeeper with his back turned to us. Was Sabina forgetful or was she secretly trying to help me escape?

            “Ready to try and walk a little bit again?” she asked me. I nodded. I slung my right arm over her shoulder as she helped me stand up. I tottered slightly but soon steadied. “Listen.” Her voice was lowered to where I could only hear her as we ambled across the gap. “Take him out. I’m on your side. I don’t want this for you. Grab his card from his belt and free your friend. Get her out of here.”

            I was going to try and ask why Sabina was helping me, but I doubt she could lip-read, so I didn’t bother. We wobbled silently closer to the door.

            “I’ll act as if you overpowered me so that I won’t get into trouble either,” she whispered. I looked over my shoulder at the camera, then back at her. “We’ll fake it outside.”

            The moment I touched the rim of the door, I took action. I pounced on the Peacekeeper. He gave a yell, but I socked him in the face, knocking him out. He slumped to the floor. I fumbled for his card. Sabina poked me. Right, I still have to overpower her.

            Thinking quick because I had a feeling cameras were out here too, I grabbed Sabina lightly and shoved her into my cell. She didn’t come back out, so I assumed she caught on. Sabina had thought this through. Who knew that she would become an ally?

I half limped to Katniss’s cell, where I swiped the card on the door. Her head popped up, and I beckoned her to come with me.

            “Katrina, get back inside!” she hissed at me. Get back inside? I kept waving her to me, more urgently. Why wouldn’t she come with me?

            My answer rang in my ears. I jumped back, nearly tripping over the unconscious Peacekeeper as loud sirens blasted into my ears. In panic mode, I fled. Katniss could stay in her cell and become an Avox if she didn’t want my help.

            I ran a slow gait with a limp when I heard snarling and howling of some sort. It was coming from up ahead. I skittered to a halt just in time as a black blur knocked me off my feet onto the ground. My head bashed against the cold metal of the floor as I tried to focus on what had me pinned down. I couldn’t move either of my arms, both were stuck to the floor.

            I froze once I gazed into its menacing eyes. I silently gasped, my mouth open in horror. It was a massive muttation. It was like the ones in the 74th Hunger Games.

His build was stocky; I could see some muscles stand out past his jet-black fur. His lips were pulled back, exposing his white canines. His snarls erupted low in his throat, and I saw a bit of salvia dripping from the corner of his chin. Ew, ew, ew, I whined. I hated mutt slobber on me.

            The sirens stopped wailing, so I got a break there. As for the mutt on top of me, that was a different story. Each time I tried to move, its snarl got even louder, sounding like an engine.  A piercing whistle made the mutt’s ears flicker back behind him. He slowly backed off.

I lifted my head to see the mutt heel at his master’s feet. Of course.

            “Did someone try to make a break for it?” crooned Brutus, his voice gruff as he towered over me. I saw him make a gesture to the mutt, and I guess the gesture made the mutt go away, because I heard the soft thumping of its paws as it headed away, probably back to its resting spot.

            Brutus bent down and grabbed me by my throat roughly. I gripped his hand with both of mine, and he yanked me up on my feet.

            “You have a lot to learn about this place, little Avox,” he cooed. “You should have been smart like Ms. Everdeen was. She made the same mistake you did, and she learned. I suggest you do the same. Or are you that anxious to start your new life serving others?” He cackled while I grimaced at him.

            Brutus released my throat but grabbed me roughly by my arm as he lugged me back to my cell. We stepped over the unconscious Peacekeeper before he tossed me in. I caught myself with my knees and hands just in time to see Sabina be yanked up by Brutus.

            “Don’t handle me so roughly!” she screeched as she ripped herself away from him.

            “Do you think we wouldn’t notice you helping her out on camera?” Brutus hissed. “You know what the penalty is for helping a prisoner try to escape.”

            Somehow, I got the feeling I knew as well: death. Even after we had the plan thought out and everything to keep her from being caught, she was.

            Brutus looked at me. I knew he was just dying to gloat in my face about how I would never escape here.

            “You just earned yourself tighter security, little Avox,” he growled. “And you just sentenced your poor nurse here to death.”

            Instinctively I grabbed Sabina’s arm, jerking her towards me. That was the only way I could say don’t take her. But Brutus wasn’t going to give Sabina up. She was ripped away from me with one tug. I had a pratfall and before I could get to my feet again, the door slammed shut.

I hobbled to the window in the door to see two Peacekeepers removing the one I knocked unconscious from my door. I banged against the door in anger, wanting to scream at them, knowing that I couldn’t. I raged, continuously bashing the door, damaging my fists. I gritted my teeth once one of my fists became sore.

I pressed my head against the door in defeat. No amount of raging like a five-year-old could bring Sabina back. I had come to like her, she was the only one ever kind to me here that worked for the Capitol. Now she was gone.

            Fresh tears leaked from my eyes. I sniffed and limped back to the metal bed where I huddled into a ball.

            “You shouldn’t have done it,” Katniss said from the other side of the glass. I snorted. “I tried to warn you.”

            Sabina must’ve been unaware of the incident with Katniss, because she had told me to bring Katniss with me. Quickly I snatched the pad and scribbled madly.

            She was trying to help me escape. She wanted to help us. I feel so bad for being snippy to her when I had my voice.

            “She was trying to help us?” Katniss asked. I nodded. “I would have never known.”

            I just sentenced her to death. Now I know how you feel, when people get hurt because of you.

            “It’s not a good feeling,” she huffed. “Well, if Gale and Peeta do come, they better come prepared for that mutt. For all we know, they could have ten on this level.”

            Level? You mean there are more prison levels?

      “Of course there are. I’m sure the way you were running has an elevator at the end. Our prison level is underground; we’d hitch a ride to the ground floor. That’s our way out.”

            I want to murder them, Katniss. I want to murder them all, for getting you, me, and Sabina.

            “I can’t disagree with you there, Katrina. We just have to hold out.”

            I didn’t know how much longer Katniss could hold out, and honestly, now I didn’t know how much longer I could either. How much time was left for me before I’d give in and start obeying my new masters like an obedient mutt? You won’t get the chance to, because Gale and Peeta are coming, I had to remind myself. They’ll come.

            If Gale and Peeta didn’t come soon to break us out, I’d take matters into my own hands. I wouldn’t care if Katniss disagreed with my choices. Somehow, someway, we’d break out of this prison, even if it meant taking a few good hits from anything the Peacekeepers threw at us. As long as we would escape and be back in District 12, I would take it.

 I mean, I lost my tongue and was nearly whipped senseless. So really, what’s worse than that?

**Will they ever get rescued? Does the situation look hopeless for them both? As I read and edit this, I feel horrible for putting them through this. Oh well, who said that all stories had to have no bad things happen in them?**