I just wanted you to be an adult. I wanted you to grow up. But you could not accept a request of you acting like a spoil child. You rushed off.

Now, I wish you would still speak with me. I wish I could tell you more what you mean. I wish things have ended differently.  But it hardly matters has I could not breathe within your keep as your presence became too far much for me. I loved you so much my sweet bird. I had given you a whole heart with hurt and trust all the same. But I allowed you to have my heart. But I grew disenchanted with all the requests you made of me. I do not know where I was stopped. I do not know where parts of me grew cold and unkind. 

You placed me in a cold place. You made me feel trapped and liberated at the same time. But I could not fuss anymore over you anymore. 

I want to breathe again. I want to be be again. A single mind to be able to be.

So if alone I must be, alone I will be.

....

Here in the tea house, the chatter of the people covers over the rain. Quiet music plays on in the background with an upbeat tempo. I will admit I had greedy drank all of the warm tea from my cup. I have been so cold for so long, all I want is a bit of warmth. I lean on the table as I look at my empty cup and I notice a note underneath it. I slip the cup aside and see my name written on it. I read it to myself, 

Nel,

If you ever need to talk. Call me. (XXX) XXX-XXXX

-Doran

I meekly smile at Doran's thoughtfulness and slip the paper in into my pocket. I will be able to socialize later. I have just a few days to get the draft to the publishing house. John what do what an editor/agent does best to make it sparkle. All I need to do is focus on my draft. I feel my fingers drift over the keys and the words tumble out as I scan over the original piece:

Once upon a time (No that won't do. I have used that too often as a kid. I need something else.) Once long ago (Alright. . . Not the best choice. But I can't keep easing everything.)

Okay, maybe the words don't just come tumbling out. But I know from my original piece and my idea I have to make something.  If it is really bad I will have at least a draft to give John. It will be halfway finished. I just need this finished. 

I shake my head at the scene as Doran passes by again and takes my empty cup. He silently places down a new one and smiles. I try to object as I haven't paid for the next one. But he waves his hand no and drifts back to the counter. The hot tea steam rises up as I look it. I turn away to the view of my navy apartment building.

 Gods, I hate that apartment building. I knew that Boris and I should have learned somewhere else. Besides the holes in my studio, there are worse things there.  I haven't even mentioned to anyone else the rats I have seen there. But I am staying for personal reasons. Ones that make me feel like a mad man. 

I sigh and return my view to the screen. I know the words I need! I don't care if it seems tired and tried. I must complete this . . .

Once upon a time long ago, there was a series mountains called the Dragon's Spin. They were large and beautiful with snow always on the top. Along the sides of the Dragon's Spin lived an herbalist. She was quiet pretty, young, and smart. She well enjoyed her home among the forest of the mountains. Her name was Yume. Yume had lived among the forest for many years and studied the plants well with her father. Together Yume and her father spent time making remedies for the people of the villages in the valleys below the Dragon's Spine.

For all of Yume's life, the mountains caused her great joy. But only two things made her as happy. The one was helping people get better from injuries and illnesses. The other was being with her father. For when Yume and her father finished their daily tasks of helping the village they would return home to the mountains. Here Yume would rejoice in the company of her father and the mountains.

I pause as I look over at the original piece over to my side. Oh, it is gloomy piece!  I killed off her mother and father within her childhood. Well, that is unkind of me! I rewrite it so that her mother and her father are alive. I continue:

Yume's mother did not love the mountains as her father did. She preferred to live back in the village in with her family. Yume's mother would go up now and then and see Yume's father for remedies for her village. Yume once asked her mother why she did not live with them among the mountains. Her mother said, 'Child, the mountains are a queer place of spirits and ghouls. It is too close to the gods. It is better for me to stay among the people, but  you and your father understand the language of the mountains. You are both happier up there. I will stay in the valley.'

Yume said to her mother, 'Should we not move down with you in the village? I have been many times with father down in them. But he says we must always return at sunset for it is not safe to be out after them.'

'Heed your father well, you and he should never be out in the villages or the valleys after sunset. Many odd things happen in this world,' her mother said.

'What do you mean Mother?'

'Girl, listen to me,' Her mother sternly said, 'When the day should come you and your father can no longer travel together to help the people. Then let the people come to you during the day. But never at night should you be without the mountains.'

'Mother, I have been allowed into the night of the mountains with father. There are no evils, ghosts, ghouls, or spirits among the plants and animals. It is a safe trip, if you know where to go,' Yume explained.

Her mother frowned, 'You may be very safe on the paths your father has placed you on. But never go beyond the pathways he sets or stray beyond what moonlight shows. Girl, you have much to worried about beyond what you see.'

Yume made such a face at her mother and could not figure out what she meant. It was then her father had finished his business and gathered Yume away from her mother. Yume being a good daughter listened well to both of her parents. She stood out of the villages and the valleys at night. She kept well to the paths her father showed her and followed the moonlight. Yume's quiet life continued happily well into her adulthood.

I stop and gather my tea cup from beside the laptop. The tea is lukewarm and the BLT is cold. But I bite into anyway and enjoy the first bit of food all day. I lean on my arm in thought. What day is today? Right it is Tuesday. I let my eyes wander over the tea house and Doran waves from the counter. I meekly grin at him and wave back. 

 I drop my hand down as I remember the charm bracelet is still gone. Boris . . . He took it on the night he left. . . I swallow. . . No, even now that I got it back I can wear it again. It would be too much to bear. Boris. . .I just wanted some space; I didn't mean to ignore him. I just wanted to go out with some friends, because he didn't want to hangout anymore. It was Halloween and I wanted to do to something more like a party or a bar.

Gah! No more Boris! I got that bracelet as a set for both of us. He said he would fix it! He never fixed it. Plus he lost his own! He never bothered to make a new set with me. Boris can wait for me to think about his sorry face until I am done! His sorry face. . . I could punch him! I could kick him, too! I could . . . I could . . . I could hug him, if he was still-

I jerk my head and steadily turn back to the page siting with Yume. I remember Yume and her story. I was so proud of this fluffy piece of romance. I thought Yume was everything a good adventurous person should be. She is really lame now that I think of it. But Yume is the one that I am depending on to get me out of my rut. So here we go!

As Yume got older she no longer went down to the villages and valleys as her father became too old to travel the distances. He need her back at the house. So Yume continue to make remedies at her house. She told the villagers to send people to come find her along the mountain paths. She made the trail easy to follow with plenty of lanterns and steps. People lucky only came during the day. Yume and her father were quiet pleased. Every now and then, Yume would return to visit her mother. Her mother would tell her, 'Child, do you still heed my warnings?'

'Yes, mother. I don't stay in the villages or valleys at nightfall. I stay away from where the moon does not go at dark. In the mountains I am happiest and I believe that is where I wish to stay.'

'Good girl, now I give you one last warning as I have a hunch something like this may happen,' Her mother warned, 'Do not ever marry a man of the village or the valleys. Only marry a man wearing a skin of feathers and hair dark as night. But in his hair, you see rainbows. And this man must not be able to sing. Only then will you be happy and he will understand you. Anyone else will not understand how special you are. Tell no soul of my last warning.'

Yume being an obedient daughter listened well to her mother. None too soon as she came of age to marry. Many village men came to fancy the herbalist and her cures. She very handsome and kindly to people she came across. Soon many men dared the venture of the mountains for a chance to meet the fair girl. They would buy up cures they did not need. Yume would happily serve them, until her father sent them away. Her father felt that ordering remedies without real need was wasteful. Soon it was rumored that some men tried to brave the mountains at night to see the herbalist and his daughter. But the men never made it beyond the main pathways to the herbalist's house. It was said the pathway was haunted. Many men ran away from the pathway.

One young man name  Yakul begun to make the track over to the herbalist house. He went as his younger sister fell ill of pox. So often he made the track over the forest pathways to go find Yume and her father. There he would wait for Yume to make the remedy. Usually Yakul would wait in silence as Yume ground the herbs and focused.

 Her father would not be far as he would seat quietly near the fire as the process happened. It was at the sixth visit the old herbalist noticed something in Yakul's eyes. The young man had become smitten with her, despite never speaking with her. Yakul continue to come very well over a month for the remedies for his sister. He enjoyed siting next to Yume and soon dared to speak with her. He kept talking on and on as Yume mutely carried on her work. Yakul spoke on about the villages and the different festivals they had at night. Yume would just nod.

A full month and a half had passed soon. Yume grew interested in Yakul and all his knowledge but said nothing in reply. For she was a good daughter and took heed of her mother. She would not be tempted to go out at night to below. Nor would she show any interest to Yakul and his brown hair. 

 On her nineteenth birthday, she father spoke to her about something special. It was nothing to do with herbs or the mountains, a very rare thing for the old man as he chose to hardly speak. He motioned his daughter near to his bedside. He said, 'Daughter of mine, I grow ever weaker and tired. I do believe it is time you must do the Matchmaker and get a husband for I wish you not to be lonely here.'

Yume answered, 'Father I shall not be lonely. I have the mountains and the forest. I need no husband to keep me company. Plus should I long for people I can go back the mountain to the villages and valley. I could very well visit Mother as well.'

Her father smiled, 'It is true you could do all of that. But surely, daughter, you have realized by now there is something strange about our lives.'

Yume nodded.

Her father went on, 'Yume, I feel you would be much happier with someone who was a special as you. The Matchmaker is in down in the valley and there you will find her.'

'But Father, if I wanted even to marry I would have chosen someone I know. I am still sure I have no interest right now . . .' Yume frowned. She knew well what her mother bid her to do. She continued, 'Father I wish to remain single and at your side.'

'And when I am gone? Would you marry someone then? Maybe Yakul? You seem to like him.'

Yume hesitated. She did have blossoming feelings for the rambling villager. But she knew she must listen to her mother. She said, 'Mother will help me out. She understands well who I must find.'

'Very well, Yume. . .' Her father closed his eyes, 'But as you seek your mother's help. I have to offer you something special for a special woman.'

He pulled out a hair comb for the girl of a white gold and red gems. He pat the young woman's arm and said, 'Soon you will be able to stay in the villages and valleys as long as you wish. Soon there will be nothing on the mountains that will dare harm you. Keep that hair comb with you always. It used to belong to your grandmother. Then it belonged to me. Now it is yours. And this scroll. Do not open it until I am no more."

Yume nodded and obeyed her father. Yakul continued to come to the house, everyday for his sister's remedy until she was better. Then Yakul came no more up the mountain. Yume went on making her cures for all who came to her. The old herbalist in his advanced age passed on. Yume and her mother attended to his burial there in the mountains as he wished. When Yume's mother went to return to the village she turned back to her daughter.

I stop. I am out of tea and my plate of the BLT is empty. Doran goes on to chat up a bunch of old ladies into a table. I place my head next to the laptop and push around the original draft. How long has it been since I hung out with my friends? How long has it been since I have been anywhere that was not Stormlight? How long has it been since I sent my cat to live with someone else? Ugh. . . I can't remember anymore. I reach into my bag to find my wallet. I will need to be sure I tip Doran and Margit well this time. I am sure I have been lingering here too long.

My fingers gather around a loose piece of paper and the dollar bills I stuffed in there. Oh no. . . It is a note from Boris. The same one I keep avoiding. I sigh as I look at the small doodle of a dove on the paper with hearts. I keep in folded and tuck it away again. I don't want to read it again. I don't want to see his handwriting right now. I know that he will never finish that scarf for winter. Nor will he take me to the museum like he promised. It is too late. I pull out the bills and sit it on the table. Budget or not, I need to eat.

I gather my stuff and wave to Doran and  Margit from the back. Once I am back on the streets the rain as stop and I decide to head to the docks. The  white ferries hurry off in and out of the water towards the big city. I sit down on the ancient bench by the railing and watch them race about. The birds bob in the water. I pull out my laptop once more to continue with Yume:

Yume's mother spied the hair comb and raised her hand to her daughter to stop following her down the path. She softly said, 'Soon the time will come for the one I told you about to come for you. You must not leave the mountains no matter what until then.'

'But Mother, father said I could go down now with my hair comb. I will be fine to go where I please,' Yume said.

'You are not fully freed of the curse placed upon you yet, daughter. You will need to be a little more patient. For the spirit will come to make sure you do not end up unhappy as I have been,' Her mother started to go down the mountain.

Yume called out, 'What do you mean, Mother?'

Her mother simply said, 'Ask me not why such things happened. Nor ask me why. Instead ask the spirit when it comes to you.'

Yume dared not questioned her mother any further and waved good-bye. Soon word got out the herbalist would no longer go to the village or valleys. Soon only those seeking her help made it out to the house. Yume obeyed her parents, but soon she was sending notes down with people for Yakul. Yume was very excited as Yakul would send her notes back about his day and little things.

So went for a while until one day a strange came to Yume's house. Yume answered the door , "Good afternoon. How can I help you?"

"Herbalist! I am a spirit of the sky! I need your help in saving the lands!" The Stranger said.

I close the lid again after I save the file. One chapter and many more to go. I stare out at the ferries as they again go by. The sun is well sinking down with the fall nights. I close my eyes and think of what waits for me back at the apartment. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go out for dinner. Maybe Doran and Margit will give me a discount. I stand up and start to walk back up the street to the White Rabbit.