I was failing at my practice yet again. Instead of having my focus at getting better, my whole attention was on seeing that Maitri didn't get hurt because of my friendship with Rudra and this clearly affected my healing process.

"Stop, just stop." Rudra stopped our practice when I failed again.

"Rudra...I—" I started but was interrupted by him.

"Enough Sia. Stop with the excuses and tell me what's wrong. I would have understood if you weren't improving but you are going backwards now.

Forget new trials, you are not able to handle the space you were able to even before starting the process.

Tell me what's the problem. Did I do something to make you feel unsafe around me? Atleast let me know if you are scared because of me," Rudra asked in a rejected voice.

"Sorry." Whispering an apology, I left the living room.

Shutting the door of my room, I plopped down on my bed, cursing and screaming at myself.

My stupidity not only affected my healing process but also hurted all my friends who wasted their time for me.

Rudra was right, I was spiraling backwards and that wasn't okay. There's has to be some way where neither my practice suffered, nor Maitri's feelings got hurt.

There was a knock on my door. Probably, Rudra or Jiya would have come to lecture me. Before I could respond, the door opened and in came Maitri.

"Am I so bad?" She asked before coming to sit beside me.

"Umm...what?" I asked, confused by her question.

"I know Jiya is the smart one of our group but that doesn't mean that others don't have brains.

"It's not hard to put two and two together. Your performance has been degrading since last week, the day Rudra and I got into relationship.

"So that's why I am asking you this question- Am I so bad that you felt like sabotaging your friendship with Rudra?

"Please tell me if I am the reason behind this. I would never be happy with him if that happiness comes at the cost of your friendship.

"Am I so bad, for you to feel that I won't trust you two to not go behind my back?" She asked with a sad smile, making me feel pathetic for my actions.

It would have been better if she would have just screamed at me or even hit me but this made me feel like I was the worst person on this planet.

"It's not like that Maitri. I didn't want you to get upset seeing my bond with Rudra. We must have been too close for you to mistake us as girlfriend- boyfriend. So I was trying to cut it down a little." I made a feeble attempt to explain my side.

She snorted at my words, "Cut it down a little? You just stopped interacting with him altogether and that too without giving him any explanation. Do you even realize how sad and rejected he felt because of your actions?"

Now she was getting angry. She stood up from the bed and started pacing around the room while simultaneously glaring at me.

"Don't even talk about me being upset. Yes, I got confused so what? You will destroy your friendship, just like that? There's a limit to stupidity, Sia and you have crossed all the boundaries.

"I was upset because I didn't know what to do with my feelings as at that point I thought you two were in a relationship. The reason behind my sadness was the fear of hurting you because of my newly found feelings and not because of your bond with him, stupid," she shouted, getting frustrated while I sat there clutching my head.

"I am so so sorry," I apologized feeling truly guilty.

"You need to apologize to Rudra. One last thing, I will let you know if your actions hurts me or I don't like them. So don't keep looking over your shoulders to see if I am okay or not," saying this she dragged me downstairs, where Rudra, Jiya and Shanaya were talking amongst themselves.

Their conversation immediately halted upon our arrival.

"Rudra, can we talk?" I asked hesitantly.

He nodded silently, a look of despair clear in his eyes as he waited for me to speak.

"Girls, let's wait in Sia's room," Maitri spoke up, feeling that we needed space to clear up the tension.

"Don't, Sia might get scared alone," Rudra said instantly, effectively breaking my heart.

Just how much I had hurt him for him to think that I would be scared of him without the presence of the girls.

Jiya, Shanaya and Maitri looked tensed as they side-glanced at us, not knowing what to do.

"Go," I said in a low voice to them, blinking my eyes in assurance that I was okay.

Rudra stood there waiting, but not saying anything.

"I...I," I stuttered, not knowing how to blurt out my stupidity.

He raised his eyebrows at my antics, but still stayed silent.

"Can you not? I am already nervous and your silence and looks aren't helping," I shouted at him, although I was annoyed by my own self.

"Now that's my fault as well," he scoffed at first, but seeing that I was still jittery, he sighed and returned back to my caring best friend.

"Let's sit," he said, pointing towards the couch. He was about to talk but then his eyes fell on my shaky hands.

"May I?" He asked, pointing towards my hands.

I heaved a huge breath, before nodding. I didn't have huge hopes from me, but I didn't want to say no to him, scared that this might be the last thread for him.

He took my palms in his, gently holding them to provide comfort, but didn't make any other move. All this while, he maintained an eye-contact to check if I was okay or not.

"It's okay. Whatever it is, we will sort it out." He kept muttering such reassuring words to me. It soon became clear that I was worrying about nothing. This was my best friend, who understood me the most. And now I was sure that even if I had said no, he wouldn't have gotten mad at me. He would have still stayed by my side.

That realisation was enough for me to calm down and relax in his hold. It was a huge progress, if we went by my condition in the last week. But it wasn't a miracle. It was all because of his never ending patience and the trust he managed to build in me.

He soon left my hands, knowing my limits. We sat still for a few seconds, before I finally managed to explain my stupid thought process during the last few days.

"I wouldn't have gotten into relationship if I knew this was going to happen," Rudra muttered at the end of my tale, earning a well deserving punch on his shoulder from me.

"Progress," he teased as I easily punched him without any fear.

"Shut up and don't break Maitri's heart because of my stupid thoughts and actions." I warned him.

"At least she knows she was being stupid." Rudra made the comment, looking anywhere else but at me, knowing he was going to get hit again.

"On a serious note, don't do this again. Discuss with us if something like this comes to your mind again. Please don't ruin your health over such things," Rudra said, gently but strictly.

"Have some trust. Not only on our friendship but also on my ability to handle my relationship. Please." He added.

I felt ashamed on my actions and thoughts, while also feeling glad that I had such awesome friends in my life who cared so much about me