I so wished that I could take Rudra and Trio with me to the town. However, it wasn't possible because of college. They couldn't just take so many leaves because of me.

Their presence would have helped me deal with the fear. Although I knew that my whole family was waiting for me there and would thoroughly support me, it was different with them.

Trio and Rudra were the people who were totally unrelated to my past. And thus being the exact people who could remind me that my current life was way better, in case I spiralled down in the agony of the past.

I was just about to put my bag in the car when I saw Rudra coming towards my house with a duffle bag hanging on his shoulder.

"Make some space for my bag as well," he said, before cheekily placing his bag over mine, increasing my load.

However, instead of getting angry over the weight, I was focussed on something else. "You...you are coming?"

He winked at me, before calling shotgun and taking the passenger seat.

"Hey!" I shouted in annoyance. Before I could get him out or ask about the sudden change of plans, Ganga Tai came out of the house, carrying a small bag of her own.

"We won't be able to stay for more than two days, but thought something was better than nothing," she explained, even before I could ask.

"Really?" I asked tear-eyed, overwhelmed by their care.

"What to do? Your best friend ate my ears off until I agreed," Ganga Tai laughed.

"Moom!!" Rudra yelled as his secret was out.

"Thanks," I whispered, going near the window of his seat.

He blinked his eyes in assurance. He was going to be there when I faced my past. Even if not for the entire journey, he would be with me in the start. The part that required most courage.

~~~•~~~

My heart pounded in my chest as we neared the town. Each and every second felt daunting as the car moved forward. It was somewhat okay at the start as Rudra and I spent bickering and cracking jokes. But now I couldn't even bear to speak a single word. Rudra tried diverting my mind, but gave up as he realised it was of no use. Ganga Tai held my hand, providing me with silent comfort.

One good thing was that we were in the car. If we were walking, then I don't think I could even move a single step forward.

I could feel neighbours' stares and hear their slight murmurs as I got out of the car. If this was the case when the car stopped right before my house, I didn't want to assume how much would I have heard if we came by walking.

I put my head down and hurried inside my so-called home to avoid those stares, forgetting my luggage and the people alongside me.

I hugged Mom who was waiting for me. It was only after she asked about Ganga Tai and Rudra, I realised the blunder I made.

"I will be back," I muttered sheepishly and turned to open the main door again which I had closed immediately after getting inside.

There they were, standing outside cluelessly, not knowing what to do.

"Come inside," I yelled out from the safety of my home, before turning away so as to not face the neighbours who were still outside.

"Brat," Rudra tutted, throwing my bag towards me as he came inside with Ganga Tai.

I barely managed to catch the bag he threw in my disheveled state. I mocked the action of punching him, to which he just rolled his eyes.

Turning towards Ganga Tai, I apologised for my behaviour sincerely.

I didn't leave them behind to carry my luggage. I just forgot about it altogether until mom asked about them. Those stares felt scorching to my skin. It felt unbearable to stay outside.

Fortunately mom kept the door open. Or else I couldn't even imagine what would have happened if I had to stand outside for the minute it took for her to open the door.

'If this is your condition in just a few seconds, then how are you going to manage staying here for weeks Sia?' I asked myself.

"Mom, show Ganga Tai around. Rudra, come with me to Trisha's house," I told them.

"You just came today. Rest for now and go tomorrow," Mom suggested.

"I am going to be anxious the whole time I am in here. Might as well finish the task early and leave," I told her, although I had no idea how I was going to be able to walk the distance from my house to theirs.

Task?

I didn't need to see their disappointed eyes to know that I misspoke. This wasn't a task that could be done robotically and be done with in a few hours.

It was about Samar. One of the nicest person I knew. I couldn't and shouldn't take this lightly.

"I am not going right now. I will take some rest and then go to meet everyone at night," I said, before adding, "Only to meet them."

"Yeah, go to your sister's house as well. Although angry, they are still eagerly waiting for your arrival," Mom said, before taking Ganga Tai inside.

"Help me," I said in a crying voice, looking at Rudra. "My mental state needs to be stable before I can help anyone else. Help me so I can help him."

Rudra nodded somberly, understanding the severity of the situation.

"Let's focus on how to reach to them first. And in the meantime I will think of some plan on how to move forward."

I was still anxious but with Rudra by my side, I knew that I was going to be okay.