Everything was wrong.

My paws dug into the earth as I ran.

Nothing was right.

I tried to pull back, to let my wolf take over but he snapped at me in my head, a direct refusal. Refusing me the dark and the comfort it brought.

Nothing fit anymore.

I ran harder, trying to exhaust myself. The bond tugged at me, urging me to head south, to head back to where it all began so I could see her again. My wolf and I snarled at it. The stupid, useless thing. I had preferred the pain. It had been a sharp, aching, biting, but it kept us from wanting to go back to her.

Vera

The name was as bitter as the wolfsbane she had used to poison me. A female as pretty as a sunset and as deadly as a viper. I had loved her, worshipped the damn ground she walked on, and it resulted in her poisoning me and throwing me at her newest toy to deal with. I couldn't even blame him for it, part of me did, but I knew her. I knew her more than anyone ever had.

She had always been ambitious but I made the mistake in thinking I could temper her. That my easy going nature would even her out. She would whisper at me that I was so much better than the delta position, that I could be so much more than where I was placed. If I hadn't been so close with the ranks, I might have listened, but knowing the losing challengers would be banished kept my head on my shoulders.

I explained it to her again and again that being delta was an honour. That us ranked members, Luiz the beta, and Antonio the Alpha, worked great together, that I wouldn't do that to my best friends. Luiz and I had grown up together, the thought that I could carelessly toss him aside for ambition was sickening to me. I said no.

She agreed with me. Told me I was right, that tht she was just dreaming of a future, a possibility that didn't have to happen. Only to find another male who would listen and then slid a blade between my ribs made of wolfsbane. She had planned out the betrayal, foubd a challenger for my position. I had been confident, there was no way I could lose. Then she made me coffee. It had been bitter, the overly sweet sugar hadn't hidden it but it had worked fast, too fast. I had known something was wrong the moment I had staggered into the challenge.

My body hadn't moved right, my wolf barely reacting, lethargic and ill. It made my reflexes slow, my strength dwindle, and then Blake beat the shit out of me. It hadn't been a challenge, it had been a beat down. I hadn't been able to do anything to defend myself and Vera laughed.

We had been together for six years, I had loved her, worshipped her, gave her every bit of me, and she laughed. I lay defeated, struggling to move in a body that had been poisoned, and she told me that clearly Blake was a better choice, at least he could defeat challengers.

Then I had been banished. Luiz and Antonio had been somber as they did so. Taken out beyond the pack lines, given some money and a few things, and then left there. Escaping into my wolf was the only solace I had, the only respite, and now he was barring me from the comfort of the dark, forcing me to think.

I hated thinking,

Too many thoughts, too many urges, too much... everything.

I had thought the blessing would change things, make it better, but all it did was make things worse. I was left knowing that my darling, sweet girl, the one I had guarded so diligently, watched grow, loved, my niece had died and her blessing had destroyed my life. It wasn't even, it would never be even. Worse still I had to sit there and watch how it transformed everyone around me.

And now nothing fit.

I didn't fit.

Micheal and Luka were my family, blood or not. We had grown, fought, lived, been together for well over a decade. I could see how much they had grown, changed. They were moving forward, no matter how hard, no matter how difficult, they pushed onwards. I loved them, so fucking much.

Luka, in learning to live with the grief of losing his sweet daughter, taken far too soon by the moon who ruled us, grasped Shey tightly. They walked together, propping each other up, taking their loss on together. They were always learning to temper their volatile reactions, to communicate properly. Their family was growing and I loved D.B., little Derek, and so did they.

And then Micheal. I watched Micheal with Lilith, finding love again, reuniting with his family, having his son. I watched as he took care for Lilith, was willing to lay down his life for her, and watched how she blossomed underneath his gaze. They loved each other and they both needed that. They were making a family together. They were discovering bits of their pasts, pulling it all together, old and new.

And I was here.

Stuck.

I didn't fit anymore.

It was like I was watching them get further ahead and I was stuck where I was. At times I felt like I was being left behind. It wasn't their fault, not really. I had seen it coming. When everything happened with Micheal, I knew it was going to happen. It was as clear as day. They were getting better and I was being left behind.

Alone.

I had taken to running the farthest reaches of the territory. Just running away from everything the only way I could. I couldn't go dark, I couldn't escape into what brought me so much comfort. So I had started running again. I doubted they even noticed. I knew the thought was unfair but it was true to an extent. They had families, kids, things to do besides watching me implode.

And I was imploding.

So much was going on, too much, and I couldn't deal with it. I felt torn in so many directions and all I wanted to do was go dark but my wolf refused me time and time again. I wasn't allowed anymore and every time Micheal or Luka told me that maybe my wolf was trying to protect me, that my wolf needed me now too, just made me feel worse.

I wanted to be better than this shit, I wanted to be functional but I couldn't. I couldn't handle any of that shit. It felt like everything was pressing down on me and I wanted out, however I could get it. It was all too much, feeling like I didn't belong, feeling left behind, feeling alone in my head without my ability to cope. I just wanted out from this crushing feeling that was suffocating me.

I wasn't sure what it was that caught my attention but my ears twitched and I turned slightly. I heard something. It was faint but it was enough that even my wolf perked up. Something was happening on the territory, something out of place. My claws dug into the rich loam as I dashed around trees, sniffing as I tried to get an idea of what was going on. A sharp cry had me tensing and I shifted direction to go straight to where I heard it.

"You know I like them running, like little bunnies." The voice was low, further away, and I pushed myself harder, a heavy growl in my chest. I kept it buried, not willing to spook whoever it was. "I like you under me. Kreegan shouldn't have tested me. I ripped his throat out to fuck your pussy. You should be grateful." There was a mocking laugh and through the trees I could see a large male straddling a form with a rounded belly. The female was shoving at him and he was slapping her hands away.

I didn't even think as I barrelled through the trees and launched at the male. I didn't hesitate, didn't give him a chance to act. I clamped my teeth down on his throat and sent us both tumbling. I didn't let go. Fists slammed against my face but I snarled, shaking my head, shredding flesh. There was gasping gurgles, a hoarse sound that was silenced as I bit down harder. Blood coated my tongue and I shook my head again and again. There was a panicked cry from the female and I was vaguely aware of her trying to scoot herself away.

I let go as my teeth slipped through the ruined flesh and I snarled, biting down again. I yanked the male away by his throat, growling as I shredded more of his neck and windpipe. Blood gushed across the forest floor, sinking into the loam as he died. I was vaguely aware of the dominance that settled over me but I flicked it away as I focused on making sure the male was dead. I shifted my bite again, not satisfied until my teeth were scraping across vertebrae.

The male was only making gurgling sounds in his chest and I let him go, watching. I had no sympathy, no mercy, for rapists. The only good one was a dead one. The male's skin was pale and blood was barely leaking from his ruined throat. I growled low in my throat, my wolf wanting to sink my teeth into the male all over again. I managed to pull myself away and glanced at the female.

She was holding her swollen belly and I internally flinched. Everyone was having babies now days. Still, she looked to be in pain so I moved over and shifted. I reached for her right as I spotted something. I snarled as I turned my full attention to the newest intruder.

The male jolted and looked at me with wide eyes. He looked familiar but I couldn't place it, not exactly. I snarled again shifting my weight until I was crouched over the female's legs. Like hell I was going to let another male try to rape her. "Madre luna..." He breathed it out and I could feel the blood cooling on my skin as my growl deepened. "Ezekiel?" The way he said my name had something click inside my head, slip into place as the familiar suddenly made sense and I wanted to curse. I did know this male, had known him for years, or I had known him but it had been over a decade since then. The only question was...

What the fuck was Luiz doing all the way out here?