Have you ever felt so unmotivated that you simply can't even find the will to get yourself out of bed?

That's how Jaemin has been feeling for the past week. He could no longer find joy in anything he used to—dancing, being with his friends, or Jisung. He hasn't talked to the blonde in at least a couple days since he saw him doing whatever in the alleyway. He thought about that night countless times trying to figure out what he was up to. The most reasonable answer was drug dealing, and although Jaemin didn't want to believe it, it wouldn't be much of a surprise if that was the truth.

   Jaemin questioned everything in life now. Was he really as close to Jisung as he thought? Or Jeno? If Jisung really loved—liked—him, then he would've told him about his wrongdoings and bad habits, right? He would be honest, right? And Jeno...If Jeno really did run away, he would at least text him . . . right?

   "Honey, breakfast is ready!" His mother called from the kitchen.

   The brunette groaned and forced himself off his bed, slipping on his bunny slippers to avoid the cold hardwood floor and dragged his feet to the dining table. He didn't bother looking up to greet anyone, only keeping his eyes on his burrito full of eggs, hashbrowns and bacon that was wrapped perfectly, steam coming from the inside.

   Not bothering to wait for anyone else to settle down, Jaemin took a large bite of his burrito and nearly moaned in delight. This is his first real meal since everything happened. His appetite disappeared the moment he realized Jeno was gone and could only find himself nibbling on small snacks, but this morning his stomach was grumbling, practically begging to be given some real food.

   "Jaemin Na!"

   His mother's rebuking tone is the only thing that made him finally look up, only to see her with a spatula in one hand, and the other holding her hip before she pointed towards the other side of the table.

   "At least greet your guests before eating." She scolds.

   Looking towards the direction his mother pointed towards, Jaemin's cheeks flare up in an instance and he thinks he can compete with the burrito sitting front of him from how warm he feels. There he is, moping around in his pajamas and bunny slippers, shoving a burrito in his mouth while his boyfriend is sitting right across from him, smiling sheepishly while dressed to impress.

   "H-Hi." Jisung waves awkwardly and it's only then does the brunette realize that something is off about his boyfriend—boyfriend, such a weird term to describe him.

   His hair is black.

   His signature blonde hair, the blonde, damaged hair that Jaemin learned to love playing with, is now black. It doesn't look bad, it actually suits him which really isn't surprising, Jisung could probably pull off any look he wanted to. What's really surprising is why. What made him suddenly change his hair, without telling anyone either? It raised suspicions, or alarms in Jaemin's head, but the boy decided to keep quiet for now.

   "Hi," Jaemin smiles back. "I didn't know you were coming over." He says, his voice strained.

   Scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, Jisung responds, "I didn't know either. I just wanted to see you. Make sure you're okay . . ." He mumbled the last part, like he wasn't sure if he wanted it to be heard.

Jaemin's heart fluttered at his words, and as much as he didn't want to, he swooned. There was no way he could resist Jisung. The boy was just too much—he never thought he'd find a love this strong.

Yes, love. He's in love with Jisung. How could he not be? Since the day he met the boy, everything always felt so right. Even with all the uncertainties, mysteries and pain, even if he doesn't know everything about Jisung, he knows enough. He knows that he's perfect for him in every sense. He's joined him in dancing, he's opened up to him, he's showed who he truly is despite all the rumors and bad things that's happened to him (his parents), and he's won the hearts of his mother and siblings already.

What is there for him to not love?

A wave a guilt suddenly washed over Jaemin. He regretted spying on the other, and questioning him. It wasn't right, especially when he knows what happens in Jisung's personal life. I should just ask him about it later. There's nothing to worry about anyway. The brunette convinces himself in his head.

"Jaemin?" The now ravenette waves his hand in front of his face.

The elder blinks. "Huh?" He mumbles dumbly.

Mrs. Na chuckles as she begins to clean up the plates on the table, including Jaemin's. The boy didn't even realize he had eaten everything off his plate.

"You zoned out the entire time, but luckily I had Jisung here to keep me company," Mrs. Na says with a hint a sass, but still throws a wink towards Jisung before disappearing into the kitchen, most likely getting a head start on the dishes. She always hated a dirty house.

"Did I really?" Jaemin directs his question towards the other.

Jisung nods his head before reaching across the table to hold Jaemin's hand. "I wanted to talk to you." He says.

"Then let's go into my room." The brunette says before leading the younger, opening the door and settling on his bed.

It doesn't take long for Jisung to get comfortable and sit next to him, once again grabbing his hand and taking a deep breath. "I came here for a reason, you know. I said I wanted to check up on you and I meant it. You've been distant since that. . .bastard disappeared."

Slightly appalled by how Jisung chose to address his best friend, he slowly nods his head in agreement. "Jeno," Emphasizing the proper name-calling, "was my best friend. I'm worried about him, he could be hurt and I've been trying to help his family out. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping you updated." Jaemin apologizes genuinely, tightening his grip on the other's hand to let him know he meant it.

"What's really been going on?" Jisung asks bluntly.

The brunette tilts his head and furrows his brows in confusion. "What do you mean?" He giggles nervously, but calms down when he sees Jisung's long expression, leaving no room for nothing but the truth. He wants to know why the elder has been distant. After a long moment of silence, Jaemin huffs and crosses his arms. "I feel guilty." He admits, refusing to look anywhere but his bed sheets.

Something flashes across the younger's face. Shock? Anger?

"Why?" He asks, his voice suddenly sounding very stiff.

"We fought right before he disappeared. If he really did run away, what if that was the reason?" Jaemin questions, and can't help but fiddle with the other's thumb for comfort, all previous worries and doubts coming back to flood his mind.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Jisung stays silent as he stares at the ground, deep in thought before looking up. "'Really?'" He asks, quoting what the other said. "What does that mean?"

"Well," Jaemin pauses, making eye contact with Jisung. "We can't just assume that he ran away. There's other possibilities."

The ravenette narrows his eyes. "The cops think otherwise?"

"What . . .No. . . I don't know! They haven't really done anything yet. Why does that matter?" Jaemin questions, and he can't help but feel something deep in the pit of his stomach—like something is wrong, but he can't seem to figure out what. That seems to be a common thing with Jaemin, he can never figure out anything.

Jisung shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. I was just curious. You haven't told me much." He says with a defensive tone, but then his eyes soften as he looks back at the other. "I'm not here to argue. I actually have a gift for you."

He didn't have to say it, just by looking into his eyes, Jaemin knew he didn't mean to stress him by his questions. The brunette did feel bad for keeping him out of the loop, and still giving little to none answers, but he himself doesn't even have all the answers yet.

Blushing, Jaemin says, "You didn't have to do that."

   "I did," The ravenette smiles, digging into his pocket before pulling out a box. "I know these times have been hard for you, and I haven't been able to be there for you but I'm here now,"

   Jaemin's breath hitches, and his heartbeat quickens. This isn't what I think it is, is it?

   Chucking, Jisung continues, "And no, I'm not proposing. I'm not crazy," He opens the box, revealing a plain, black band. "But I wanted to give you this promise ring. A promise that I will always be there for you." He smiles shyly, taking the band out of it's place before slipping it on the other's thin, shaking finger and lifts it up to his lips, kissing him reassuringly.

   The brunette was speechless. On the outside at least, he had a million thoughts racking through his mind all at once.

   Isn't this happening a little too fast? What does this mean? I can't accept this! Why is he doing this? What about Jeno?

   Jeno, Jeno, Jeno. Even when he is gone and with Jisung, he still can't stop thinking about him.

   "Jaemin?"

   Snapping back to reality, Jaemin stares at the ring sitting on his finger before looking back up and forcing a smile. "S-Sorry. It's just so beautiful, I can't stop looking at it." He lies.

   Jisung smiles before leaning against the wall and pulling the elder into his lap, his hands resting on Jaemin's slightly revealed hip. "I love you," He says slowly, as if trying to prove how special those words were coming from his mouth—and they were special.

   They were extremely special, and Jaemin felt like a waterfall. Loud and chaotic, and he felt like he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop these unknown feelings from forming, and as much as he tried to slow down and just think, the current that was Jisung kept pulling him further and further and further. He knew he loved him, maybe a little too much, and a part of him refused to believe that was so but a bigger part of him knew it was true.

   Cupping the ravenette's cheek, Jaemin whispers, "I-I love you too . . ."

   Jaemin could swear he heard fireworks going off when Jisung pulled him down to his lips, molding perfectly together, and though they were cold, Jaemin's warmth devoured him from top to bottom. He was addicted, and both felt a feeling—whatever feeling it was, they didn't care—so intense.

It felt as if they were one, and in that moment, Jaemin forgot all of his worries.

lowkey was tempted to make them have seggs during that moment but idk how to write that so use your ~ imagination ~ if ya want.

also if you couldn't tell this WHOLE chapter was basically jaemin being blinded by love and i hope i portrayed that well. lmk your thoughts about it :)