This review is from TMA page in the Jewel Shop.
Mysteries and Mayhem 
Author: AdriannaRaines3172

The prologue was intriguing and pulled you in. I mean just wow, didn't see that coming. Then moving onto the first chapter the writing went a little unprofessional. You labeled the scenes making the chapter choppy, one way you could fix this is making it one time like lunch. Showing how mean she was and a horrible person, then go to class, get called to the principal's office, where she gets the call.

The first chapter was a little too fast paced, it was like bam, bam, bam end scene. It was also a short chapter, you probably could have combined one and two.

The story is written in third person. When you have a thought from a character you use italic, that way your reader can better distinguish thought and conversation. Your first chapter was in third person narration while the second chapter is in first person narration, I would stick with writing the story in one or the other.

Don't describe too much of the character's appearance at once. It's boring and most people just want to skip that part, especially since you put pictures of the outfits in the book.

The talking felt unrealistic for teenagers, they use conjunction words such as don't, won't, etc. It felt more like I was reading from Rose's point of view and not third person, the narration and Rose sounded the exact same.

There's definitely some grammar mistakes and things like that. I pointed out some, your other readers pointed some out. The story has potential but needs work. Hope that helps! 

Rating 1-10 ⭐'s

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Work on the things I mentioned and I'd be glad to do another review.