Title: The Raspberry Girl

Author: foodislife29

Chapters Read: 4

General story plot: Scarlett is shy and a daughter of raspberry farmers. She goes to a party with her out there bestie. Collides into a boy failing on top of him and they kiss hard. Everyone finds out, she's a mystery girl. His sister runs off to find him, who has medical problems. At last, they meet...and who knows what could happen.

It wasn't a bad story I would say. The idea did pull me in and I definitely wanted to get to the point where they meet. It does have the plot of the Cinderella stories (retold). If I read further it could be unique or too cliche. Since I didn't read that far I can't judge it. But watch out for it yourself.

For me to consider your book more on the professional aspect, it would need revising. These points also made the story harder to read.

> The grammar really needs work. You either have too many commas or none where they should be. You are missing spaces or spaces where there shouldn't be, like in between commas. You have a lot of run-on sentences. 

> The conversation parts are written wrong as well. When someone new talks you always start a new paragraph.
Example
"Hey," he said grinning at Belle.

"Hi, " Belle said eyeing him up and down.

"How are you?" He asked.

>I feel like the scenes switch really quickly. Some could probably be cut out. Most of the scenes with her and her brother fighting feel unimportant to the storyline. I find myself wanting to skip over them. 

> So far Scarlett's character is cliche. Shy, none to little confidence, beautiful but doesn't know it, happens to kiss the rich boy in town. What makes Scarlett different? What makes her stand out against the other books with the same main character? How do you want the readers to feel about her?

> Make sure to re over what you write. I noticed you wrote Amy, instead of Amber once. It threw me off.

Other than that it wasn't bad. It could be better. When reading published authors take note of how the story is written. What you feel when you're reading it. Don't be afraid to research writing tips. Grammarly.com is a wonderful tool whether on phone or computer.

Rating #⭐
5/10 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Needs work but it's interesting. If revised I would consider reading.