Zee

"Why do you eat that?"

Nick raised his eyebrows. "Ice cream?"

"Mint chocolate ice cream."

"Because it's good."

"No, it's not." I shook my head.

"Taste it." Nick passed his ice cream to me.

"Nick, if I wanted to eat Mint chocolate ice cream I would go home and eat toothpaste."

He rolled his eyes. "Just taste it."

"Fine. If you're going to beg me so much–"

"I'm not begging you."

"–But I'm not sharing my ice cream."

"Okay." He nods.

Under Nick's intense gaze I slowly took a bite of the ice cream. Nick eagerly waited for my response. I smiled nodding. Tasting it. Nick had a victory smile on his face.

"Toothpaste," I concluded.

The smile vanished from his face. "Fuck off, Zee."

I passed his ice cream back while laughing and took a bite of my heavenly chocolate ice cream.

"I feel a little bad for you. Do you want some of my ice cream?"

"You're gonna share?" He made a fake shocked face.

"I can make that sacrifice for you, buddy."

A small smile broke out on his face. "I'm fine, Zee. I like my Mint chocolate."

"I know what to give you on your birthday!"

"I'm scared to find out."

"I'm getting you toothpaste. Since you love its taste soooo much." I sang.

"And she's back," Nick mumbled to himself.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Back at the diner, you were acting weird…er than usual. Now you're back to your normal weird stuff."

"Haha. You're so funny Nick."

"I'm being completely serious."

Asshole.

"Let's go. Sara must be home by now."

"Always trying to run away from conversations."

"No. I'm walking away. Running is too much work."

Nick mentioning the diner makes me want to think about things that I don't want to think about. Olive for instance. It hurts my head thinking about it. I was the reason Nick finally met Olive. Me?

I'm angry at myself. Why did I force Nick to go to the diner? We would've been just fine without going. More than fine. We would've been fantastic. But the thing that angered me more than myself or Olive was Megan. That fucking bitch.

The person I hate most after Olive is probably her. She's also the reason Olive did some of the awful things. She hated the fact that Nick didn't like her so she made it her mission to portray him as the villain. What's worse is that at the end of the book her character was redeemed just because she said sorry. That's not how it works. You made someone's life miserable, saying sorry doesn't cut it!

And what did she say? She would've bought the house next to Nick? Try doing that. I dare you. Just thinking about how she was staring at Nick burns my blood. I know he was bothered by it. Why do these people not understand that staring at someone can make them feel uncomfortable? I couldn't even keep my eye on Nick and Olive because I was too focused on Megan.

I don't know what they talked about. They might have planned a fucking June wedding while I was busy throwing daggers at Megan.

Don't be that dramatic, Zee. They didn't plan their wedding.

Yes, they didn't.

Right?

At least Olive didn't cause any problems. She did something at the beginning but she was fine after I explained things to her. Maybe there is room for character development. I just don't know how to help with that.

I learned something about myself today. I'm protective of Nick. Really protective. The second Olive did the eye roll because Nick wouldn't shake her hand, it was like a reflex for me to defend him. I didn't think about anything other than the fact that Nick didn't do anything wrong and he doesn't deserve to be treated that way.

I still feel uneasy about the fact that Nick and Olive met and talked to each other. At least she wasn't rude to him like she was in the book. She talked to him nicely but for some reason that makes me feel more uneasy. Which is weird. Why does Olive talking to Nick nicely make me sad and a little angry? It should make me feel glad. I should be happy. But I'm not. I just know that I don't want them to talk at all.

Nick started the car breaking my chain of thoughts. I glanced at him.

Relax, Zee.

Nick said he doesn't have any opinion about Olive. We'll just have to keep it that way.

You can do that.

Right?

…………………

I head towards Nick's house to get my daily dose of free food. I open the door whistling and come eye to eye with Nick. He's climbing down the stairs and smiles brightly upon seeing me.

Uh oh.

That's not good.

Nick smiling?

Upon seeing me?

Something's wrong.

"Mom, guess who's here." He shouts.

"No one," I shout back and turn on my heels to head back home but Nick pulls me back and puts his arm on my shoulder.

"Zee's here," Nick announces. Still smiling.

"No, she's not. I'm a hallucination buddy. You're hallucinating." I try to get out of his hold but he tightens his hold on me.

Sara emerges from the kitchen and smiles upon seeing us. "Oh, Zee you're here. Honestly, when Nick told me you'd be happy to help me with this I thought he was lying but you're actually here. Thank you so much."

Help?

What help?

Wait.

Nick knew this and didn't tell me?

I would be happy to help Sara with anything and Nick knows that. If he intentionally didn't tell me this then it must be something I really don't want to do.

Ah hell.

I laugh awkwardly. "Of course, I'd help you, Sara. What is it that you need help with again? I kinda forgot. You know how weak my memory is."

"I have to deliver a birthday cake and a lot of dessert to a kid's birthday party but I'm understaffed and Nick said you'll both be happy to help." She frowned a little. "He did tell you about it right?"

Nope.

I laugh more. "Of course he did Sara. Don't you know him? He's charming."

Sara laughed. "Of course."

Nick looked between me and Sara. clearly confused. "What?

"Nothing," Sara said. "Zee, we have to leave in an hour. Can you help us?"

"Of course, she will, Mom. She loves kids." Nick chimed in.

"Yeah, Sara I'll be happy to help you." I smiled.

"Great. Be ready in an hour. Both of you." She turned and headed back into the kitchen.

I stared at her back. "Nick. I hate kids." I said, still smiling.

"I was counting on it. I do too. If I suffer you suffer Zee." He rested his head on mine. Also looking straight.

"You're evil buddy."

"I know. Keep smiling."

"Why? She can't see us."

"Because I like your smile."

That wiped the smile off my face. I could hear sincerity in his voice. He's not kidding. My head whipped around to face him. He straightens and clears his throat.

"See you in an hour." He doesn't make eye contact. Taps my shoulder once and climbs up the stairs. I stare at his back wide-eyed. Frozen.

What the fuck just happened?

.....................

Did I think yesterday being at the diner was stressful for me? I was wrong. So wrong. A room full of energetic kids beats that.

Kids.

So many kids.

Turns out 5-year-olds have a lot of energy. They use it for the most useless things. Things like shouting. For no reason at all. And it's irritating. It hurts my ears. And the parents told us that we can stay for as long as we want. Sara being the kid's lover she is, has decided to stay for the whole party. We are so happy with that decision that we are not hiding in a random kid's bedroom. Absolutely not.

Okay fine.

There might be a slight chance that we are.

But you can't blame us, these kids are monsters. And I thought High School was tough. Those bullies hold nothing to these kids. The kids started pulling us every time they saw us. And they are strong, they were even pulling Nick. And he's the bad boy character in a teen book so obviously, he's strong but they managed to pull him too.

Why were they doing this? For absolutely no reason at all.

Nick and I are currently sitting in the corner of a room. Side by side. Leaning on the wall. I take the candies out of my jacket and offer them to Nick. Nick's forehead creases. "Aren't the candies for the kids? Did you steal candies from kids?" He accuses.

"No. I didn't steal candies from a kid. They were kept in a bowl. There was nothing written about who it was for."

"How many did you take?"

"A handful."

A beat passes.

He's still staring.

"Ok fine. Two handfuls. Both of my pockets are filled with candies."

He rests his head on the wall and laughs quietly. His shoulders shake. "You're insane Zee." He's still laughing.

I made him laugh. It's not the first time. But it still surprises me every time I do. His laugh is so beautiful. I love the sound. It's melodic. Makes me want to keep making him laugh.

"So you don't want it?"

"I didn't say that." He takes all the candies from my hand and puts them in his pocket.

"You took everything from me."

"I don't even know who you are." He tried to say it exactly like Thanos did but he couldn't. I can. Obviously.

I glance around the room and find a Barbie set lying around. Nick follows my gaze. "I had one of those." He says suddenly.

"A Barbie set?" I point at it.

"Yeah." He smiles a little. "I was obsessed with Barbie when I was a kid. I thought she was a little too good for Ken. Always wanted that set. On my tenth birthday, Mom got it for me." His smile grows bigger while remembering it and then vanishes completely. His voice was low when he spoke next. "But my Dad. He didn't like it. He thought boys shouldn't play with Barbies so he burnt them. In front of me. Mom didn't know. He then told her I lost it and when she suggested we buy a new one he refused and said that I didn't want it."

He stares at the set for a few seconds then suddenly at me. Eyes shocked. As if he didn't want to share all these things with me. But he did. And it hurts to know how much of an asshole his father is. This was never mentioned in the book. No, in the book it was always about Olive and her problems. Which sometimes aren't problems.

I hold his eyes for a second then look back at Barbie. "You're right."

He raised his brows.

"Barbie is too good for Ken."

He looked at Barbie too. "I know right?" He agreed.

A few beats pass before he speaks again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything buddy."

"Was Olive the reason you didn't want to stay at the diner yesterday?"

Shit.

Why is he asking about that?

I struggle to come up with an answer and decide to go with the truth. "Yeah."

"Why?" He asks softly.

Because she's gonna break your heart in the future and I don't want that.

"Um, because she asked me to be her friend and I don't know how to do that."

He frowned. "You don't know how to be a friend?"

"Yeah."

"That's bullshit, Zee. You're my friend and you're a great one. Zach loves spending time with you. Hell, you even managed to make my mom your friend. You guys even have some sort of an inside joke which I don't understand at all. And you managed to do all this in what? A few weeks? That's pretty amazing Zee."

Yeah, but it doesn't feel like work when I'm with you guys. It's the opposite of that. I feel happy and content with you guys. With Olive, I have to try to make her a better person than she is. How does one do that? And how can I do that? But no one else can do that because she's the main character. Everyone will find something nice to say about her and the people who do hate her in the book were portrayed as bad people.

I have to think about what to do and do it fast. Nick and Olive already met. Things will change starting from Monday. I'll have to make sure they interact as little as possible while also trying to make Olive a better person.

No big deal at all.

I'm definitely not going to be stressed next week.

Absolutely not.

But at least I'm not stressed now.

I look at Nick while he waits for my response and feel my heart racing a little.

Yup.

Definitely not stressed.

"Did you just compliment me, buddy?"

He smiles a little. Resting his head on the wall, he closes his eyes. "I did. Aren't you gonna write it?" My phone was already in my hand and I wrote the exact date and time when Nick complimented me.

"She'll be lucky to be your friend Zee. Anyone would."

At a loss for words. My hand pauses on the phone. Why is Nick doing this to me? Saying things like these casually. Like it isn't one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

"Thanks."

I glance at him to find him staring at me. I've gotten used to his staring. He does that a lot in school. I don't know the reason but I think he might be gathering evidence to prove that I'm crazy. I'm telling you one of these days I'm getting a presentation called 'Why I think Zee is crazy.' I'm a little excited about it.

But his gaze is different today. It's intense. Really intense. His eyes move around my face searching for something. Searching for what?

A knock stops me from asking any questions. We both stare at the culprit. A boy wearing pajamas stares back at us. He adjusts the glasses on his nose and speaks. "Are you two friends or dating?"

"The first one." I say at the same time Nick says, "The second one."

I look at him baffled. Has he gone crazy or something? He merely shrugs.

"Is it complicated?" The boy asks again.

"No."

"Yes."

What is the matter with him today? His lips turn upward and his eyes dance with amusement.

He's teasing.

Nick.

Teasing.

What is happening?

Did I jump into a third world or something?

"I hope you get back together soon."

A smile broke on Nick's mouth. "Thanks. What are you doing up here? Isn't this your party?"

He sighed. "I came here to take a breather. Everyone wants to talk to me. It's exhausting." He enters the room and sits in the bean bag chair.

"Aren't you five?" I ask him.

"No. I'm six." He said proudly.

"Sorry. My bad."

"It's okay."

"So you're popular huh?" I ask him.

"Yeah. It's exhausting sometimes."

"This guy here." I point at Nick. "He's popular and he finds it exhausting too. But he just told me he's so happy and lucky to have me in his life. So I guess he's doing fine."

"I never said those words."

"You don't have to lie, buddy. It's a safe space. You can be honest."

"I am honest."

"Can we focus on my problem for now?"

"Yes. Sorry." I bring my focus back to the kid. "So the people downstairs are your friends right?"

He nods.

"Do you not want to spend time with your friends?" Nick asked.

"I do. But all everyone is talking about is me. I want to hear about them too."

"Did you tell them that?" I ask.

He pauses. "No. I was feeling tired so I came here."

Nick and I glance at each other before speaking. "All that attention can do that to you," Nick spoke first.

"You know what you should do at times like these?" I continued.

"What?" He asks.

"You take a break," Nick suggests.

"You spend some time with yourself. That's important. People sometimes forget that. If you feel tired from talking to so many people. Spend some time by yourself to recharge." I told him.

"Then you'll go back downstairs. Tell them what's bothering you and spend time with them." Nick says.

"Does it make sense?" I ask.

"Actually yeah." He nods.

Nick and I proudly smile at each other.

We all sat in comfortable silence for a while.

"Did you cut the cake?" I ask him.

"Yes."

"Cool." I nod.

Another beat passes.

"So can we eat it or is there nothing left?"

"There's some left."

"Cool." I do not attempt to get up to go eat the cake. Nope. Right now my friends need me and I plan on staying here.

"You can go if you want to." The kid says.

I get up and head outside at the speed of light. But pause when I hear something.

"She's cute. Do you think she'll date me when I'm old enough?" The kid asks Nick.

"She is cute. And no. We are getting back together, remember?"

"But what if you're one of the guys who make stupid mistakes and lose their nice girlfriends?"

"Don't worry. I'm never losing her." Nick said in the most confident voice I've ever heard.

I start walking again.

Something is wrong with Nick today.

And something is more wrong with my heart.