Zee

"I think you broke Nick," I whispered to Zach.

"What? No." He waved me off. "He's fine."

Nick has been pacing back and forth in the living room muttering "This is the worst" for the last 10 minutes. He stopped once to pick up a pillow and scream at it and then continued his pacing.

"See." Zach's quivering voice didn't match the confidence of his words. "Totally fine."

"Nick?" I cautiously took a step toward him. "Why don't you take a break buddy?"

He didn't stop pacing but he did stop his muttering. I'd say that's a victory.

Mental five.

Looking up at the ceiling, Nick gripped the back of his neck tightly. "From this world? Sure!"

I took a step back.

Mental five revoked.

"Your turn." I nudged Zach with my elbow.

"What? Absolutely not. I'm not going anywhere near that creature." Zach glanced at Nick and slightly shook his head in fear before settling his gaze on me.

"Zach." My smile was as sweet as poison. "You made a mess, now clean it up." A push from me caused him to stumble forward. He gained balance by holding on to the back of the couch. Turning his head back, he glared at me. In response, I gave him my brightest smile and a thumbs up, wishing him the best of luck.

He faced Nick and said in the most awkward voice ever, "Hey, buddy?"

What the fuck?

Nick paused his pacing and slowly turned his attention to Zach. The look on his face mirrored the confusion I felt. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Holy shit.

Nick is speechless.

Zach, if you can hear me telepathically then keep doing whatever the fuck you are doing.

"Relax, Nick." Zach gained some confidence and stepped closer to Nick. "It's not a big deal. Only ten people are coming."

Uh oh.

Abort Mission.

I repeat.

Abort the fucking mission.

My eyes were fixed on Nick's reaction. His face remained bland and expressionless for so long that for a second I forgot what we were doing there."Ten?" I wasn't even sure I heard Nick's voice because it was so low.

He may have looked furious and a little scary before, but now he looked like he wanted to murder Zach.

Then he smiled.

At Zach.

That seemed scarier.

"You invited 10 fucking people into my house?" Zach stumbled away from Nick as fast as he could and hid behind me when Nick approached him.

"It's just 10 people, Nick. You can count them with your two fingers. See." He brought his hand up and showed two fingers. "One and zero. 10." The smile Zach had only lasted a few seconds before it was wiped out by Nick's unimpressed expression.

"Cancel the party." Nick deadpanned.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I already invited those people and I have a reputation to hold, Nick." Zach rolled back his shoulders.

Nick's smile made a comeback. "You won't have a reputation left if I kill you, Zach."

I laughed to remind them I was still there. "Maybe I should give you two some privacy." Before I could make a run for it Zach grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, then proceeded to use me as a shield.

"You are not going anywhere," Zach whispered in my ear. "I invited your friends so you should be on my side."

Wait.

My friends?

What friends?

I half turned my body toward him. "What friends are you talking about?"

"You know Olive, Megan, and Chloe. I've seen you talk to them so I invited them. You don't have to say thanks." He looked as if he had done something to be proud of.

I stared at him for a few seconds and then I laughed. My laughter could have been heard throughout the house. Since even Nick seemed to forget about the party and was worried about me, I probably looked like a maniac.

Zach looked confused and joined me in my laughter. My hand gripped Zach's shoulder. Both our laughter died. I kept my eyes on Zach. "Nick, get me a knife. I'm going to kill Zach."

"You got it." Nick was out of the living room in a flash.

"What the fuck?" Zach kept his eyes on Nick's back before his eyes snapped to me. "Zee, c'mon you cannot be serious right now. Why did you change teams? Is it because I ate the cake before you? I'm so sorry, Zee. I will never do it again, I promise." He pleaded.

"What? No. That's not the reason." I thought about it. It did bother me when I didn't get to eat it before him. "It might be a little but the main reason is that you invited Olive and her friends."

Why does the universe hate me so much? Can't I relax for one fucking day? It's Nick's birthday for fucks sake and now Olive's coming here. The universe was now clearly playing with me. Why and how is she showing at every place Nick is present?

Maybe because they are the main characters of a freaking romance book.

Good point.

Zach gave me a puzzled look. "Wait, why is that the reason you want to kill me?"

"Well, that's also not the only reason." I smacked his head. "Why the fuck would you invite anyone here? You knew Nick would be paranoid."

"Ouch." He rubbed his head and glared at me. "Yes I knew that but I did this to help him."

I crossed my arms. "And how is this party supposed to help him?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

I was seriously going to kill him.

He must have sensed that because he rushed to explain. "Trust me. This is really to help him."

"You have to give me some sort of explanation, Zach, or else Nick and I are killing you."

He sighed. Feigning defeat. "Fine." He looked back to check whether Nick was there or not. When he turned back his voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you know what Nick does on his every birthday?"

I shifted uncomfortably. Something told me I won't like this conversation at all. "Cuts his cake?" I offered. Trying to lighten the conversation.

"He locks himself up in his room."

Wait, what?

"What?"

This wasn't mentioned in the book.

Zach's jaw clenched and he looked away. "He's been doing it ever since his parent's divorce. I don't know how much you know about his father, but in my eyes, he's the worst person I've ever met. Before, Nick used to get excited for his birthday as any kid would be, but Mr. Holden Richard just couldn't see him happy could he?" A thin shadow ran across Zach's eyes as if he was trying to recall something. "He used to tell Nick that a 'real man' shouldn't be excited about such a mere thing. In fact, a 'real man' shouldn't even show his emotions."

Listening to his father's words made me sick. How could he feed all that bullshit to a kid? My head hurt just by imagining all the things Nick went through. The mere thought of it made my teeth grind together.

That asshole was so lucky he wasn't in front of me, I wanted to do so much more than a punch.

Why wasn't any of this mentioned in the book? The book did say that Nick has problems with his father but it didn't say anything about his dad being a sexist jerk.

How the fuck did Nick manage to live with that joke on the human race for so many years?

Well, you lived with your father for 19 years.

Good point.

But still, my father believed he had a reason to hate me.

No matter how wrong the reason was.

What excuse did Nick's father had?

Not like it would make anything better.

Zach continued. "Nick always tried to make sure his words didn't affect him. He was a kid but he still knew that whatever that old sack was feeding him was wrong. But some words still stick inside his head, and he doesn't even realize that what he's become now, is exactly how his father wanted him to be. Freaking alone." His voice broke at the end. "Do you know he's afraid of showing his emotions? He can't even admit to himself that he likes his birthday. That he likes receiving gifts. How could he? When he was criticized whenever he did say it."  His jaw clenched in frustration.

My chest tightened with every word. It kept getting worse.

No one should feel like that.

No one should've been made to feel like that.

Hey, Olive?

Guess what?

I found someone I hate more than you.

A bitter laugh escaped Zach's lips. "What's worse is he's doing all this subconsciously. If you ask him, he'll have no clue about it. He spent every birthday ever since the divorce in his room, away from everyone else. Sara and I tried to get him out, and he would because we asked him to but we could see he was barely happy. He shut down, Zee. He had stopped talking to people, Sara and I were the only people he talked to. He avoided others like the plague."

The look on his face changed. "But this year was different. He talked to someone, to you, and became friends with you. He opened up, and I'm going to take advantage of that fact. I'm not letting this chance go, I'm going to force him into spending time with new people. He cannot see it but his father is still dictating his life. I'm not going to let him judge the entire human race because of one fucked up person." Zach's eyes filled with unshed tears. "I would've left him alone if he wanted to avoid people but that's not it. He's doing this because of his father. He should actually give new people a chance and then if he still feels the need to stay away from people, I'd leave him alone."

I felt my eyes sting. Hearing his words broke my heart and thinking about Nick's suffering hurt. I stepped forward and hugged Zach. He held me tightly in his arms. I wiped some tears away from the corner of my eyes.

"I don't know what else to do, Zee." A tremor ran through his voice as he tightened his grip around me.

"It's okay." I nodded to his shoulder. "Nick wouldn't lock himself up in his room this time. He's going to spend his day with a bunch of teenagers he hates and will end up loving every minute of it."

Zach chuckled. "That's the plan."

A thought crossed my mind. I broke the hug and asked, "Is James coming here?"

His brows drew together. "Anderson? Yeah, I invited him. Why?"

James!

One other thing that I hated when I read the book —Yes I still have more hatred for this book left inside of me. Oh, don't you dare judge me you'd understand my pain if you had read it—was that Nick and James never got to be friends. They were both really good people but a friendship between them was out of the question when they were madly in love with the same girl.

But that wasn't the situation now.

A smile broke out on my face. "How is James? As a person I mean."

"Anderson's one of the nicest people I know. Why?"

"Zach! We should try to introduce James to Nick and try to convince him to talk to James."

Zach's eyes lit up. "Yes! And it will show Nick that not everyone at the school is against him."

"And maybe they'll become friends."

And I'll get the bromance I was waiting for.

"Let's not get ahead of each other. It'll be a big deal if he even talks to him. Speaking of that, How are we going to convince him to talk to Anderson? Actually no, how are we going to convince him for the party?"

We heard footsteps approaching us. "I don't know." I offered him a small smile. "Let's see." Our eyes landed on Nick to find him carrying a lot of knives in his hands.

Nick placed every one of the knives on the table and smiled at us. On the table, there was every type of knife that was available in the kitchen. He pointed at the biggest knife. "It took some time to find that. Mom put it on the wrong shelf."

I didn't even know we even had that many knives in the kitchen.

After scanning the table again, I frowned. "Why did you bring the butter knife?"

Nick's smile grew wider. "So that we can kill him slowly and he suffers more."

I felt Zach shifting closer to me.

Actually.

I felt him shift behind me. His hands clutched the back of my t-shirt. "Save me." He pleaded in my ears.

I took a deep breath and began to talk in a lighthearted tone. "You know what, Nick? I think we should—"

"Uh oh." Nick's smile faltered. "You changed teams didn't you?" He pointed a finger at Zach. "Whatever he offered you, I have something better. Last year Zach went through a rockstar phase."

Oh fuck.

Zach gasped behind me. My hand gripped the back of the couch so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

Don't get tempted, Zee.

It's fine.

Zach in a wannabe rockstar phase wasn't that appealing.

You can totally back out of this.

Stay strong!

But Nick wasn't done. "He grew his hair."

"How long?" My voice wavered.

"Really fucking long. It reached his waist." His eyes smiled.

My hand left the couch alone and I started pacing around it.

It's okay, Zee.

It's not a big deal.

Remember what we're doing here.

Helping Nick.

Don't back out no matter how tempting Nick's offer may seem.

Stay strong!

My feet stopped in front of Nick. His eyes still shone brightly but after taking one look at my face his head fell and he cursed under his breath. "That didn't work?" He seemed to be talking to himself. "It's okay." He nodded and brought his gaze to mine. "I have other things. Do you know in middle school, Zach–"

"Why don't we leave embarrassing stories about Zach out of this conversation?" Zach threw his hands up and laughed.

I nodded. "I agree. Nick, nothing you have can change my decision."

Nick groaned and sat on the couch. "Damn, what did he offer you?" Zach and I caught each other's eyes before sitting on either side of Nick. "I thought you hated parties too, Zee."

"I do." I protested.

"Your actions say otherwise."

There was a perfectly good reason for that. Earlier it was because Zach showed that adorable photo of Nick dressed up as barbie. He looked so cute and small in that picture that I had to have it. Not that I needed any other reason than Nick to want that picture anyway. I'd take anything that has Nick Miller written on it.

It felt a little out of character for me to behave this way. Obsessing over someone else rather than myself. At first, I thought that any feelings I had toward Nick were simply because he was my favorite character. But with time I realized I love his company. I love talking to him, and playing video games with him—I still haven't beaten him in FIFA but I assure you that day will come. I can feel it—and just being with him.

He does these little things that make my heart flutter. Like whenever I come over for breakfast he places a glass of orange juice right beside my plate before even sitting down. Once when we were watching a movie and I had eaten all of my popcorn and was half thinking about stealing his, but before I could do that he placed his bowl in my lap without saying anything.

And who could forget that one time when I got to see sleepy Nick? It was one of the best nights of my life. He could barely keep his eyes open and his hair was so messy it kept falling on his forehead.

He looked so cute.

Sleepy Nick was a sight to remember.

Also whenever we make eye contact for a little long I feel my heart bursting out of my chest. My heart's been beating fast whenever Nick was within my surroundings. Once I thought that maybe I have some sort of heart disease, It might be possible considering Zee's health.

But then I was finally ready to admit that I might have feelings for Nick.

Romantic feelings.

Nick's been running on my mind 24/7 for the past few weeks. I knew the obvious thing to do was to accept my feelings but I know my brain.

I knew as soon as I accepted these feelings my brain would tell me to take action and if I didn't take any action I'd become really anxious. I wanted to take some time and mentally prepare myself for that.

But that didn't happen. As soon as I accepted these feelings I felt relaxed. Happy. Free.

Not accepting the feelings made me anxious. It made me feel almost guilty.

Guilty of lying to myself.

Is that why all those people on TV say lying is bad?

My gut always twisted whenever I had to lie to my teachers about why my father couldn't attend the PTA meeting or whenever I had to pretend in front of guests how happy I was living there.

But I didn't know I'd feel the same when I lied to myself.

Learning new things every day.

I also learned that Nick consumed a large portion of my brain, almost as big as the portion of food and Jake Peralta.

Still, that's different.

Jake Peralta was a fictional character. So he doesn't actually count.

But isn't Nick one too?

Yeah but that was before I was a part of this book as well so that makes us both fictional.

Or

Both real.

I didn't care about that though. I was happy as long as Nick was in front of me. And I would make sure Nick doesn't shut himself off because of his dad. Subconsciously or not. His dad will not control his life.

My anger rose when I thought of his dad.

Why are our fathers such jerks?

If this party was a way to make Nick open up to new people and not shut himself off and then I'd do it in a heartbeat. If in the end, Nick decides he's better off without making any new friends then that's fine. But that should be his decision. Not his father's. He should meet people and then reject them because he doesn't like them, not because his father made it hard for him to trust other people.

I placed a hand on Nick's shoulder. "Why don't you give this party a chance."

Nick placed his elbows on his knees and rested his head on his hands. "Zee, I don't want to deal with people. Especially not in my house. Not in my personal space." His voice hushed at the end.

My hand rubbed his back.

Okay.

Time to use a different tactic.

"Zach's crush is coming." I blurted.

"What?" Two voices spoke at the same time. Two pairs of eyes bored into mine. Zach widened his eyes, his whole body was tense. Nick drew his brows together. "Sam?" He looked at Zach. "He's coming here?"

Zach gulped and kept staring at me. Go with it. I mouthed to him. With a final look at my face, he looked at Nick. "Yes." His nod was stiff. "He is definitely coming." His voice sounded like a broken robot.

Nick's eyes narrowed. I interrupted him before he could say anything. "Nick, you know how much Zach is pinning over Sam. It's almost painful. He's been trying to talk to him but hasn't gotten a chance to do so. He thought this party might be a way to talk to him so he invited him in the hopes of that and now we don't know when he'll get an opportunity like that if the party gets canceled."

Nick stayed silent for some time then moved his thoughtful gaze to Zach. "You really like him."

It wasn't a question but Zach answered anyway. "Yeah." His voice sounded more certain this time.

Nick still hesitated a little but with one last look at Zach, he sighed. "Fine." Zach and I were already getting up to celebrate when he spoke again. "But I have some conditions."

Both of us sat back down. "Anything you want."

He cleared his throat. "No one will go upstairs. Especially my room. I won't allow that."

"Done."

"They will be here only for two hours. Max three."

"Done."

If he wanted I would have even shared my food with him.

Nick looked straight at Zach and said, "No alcohol."

Zach paused. He hesitated and said, "Nick, you know it's a party right? I mean those people expect some booze."

"Either no alcohol or no party. You decide." Nick deadpanned.

"No alcohol. Absolutely none. Do you want me to get rid of all the sanitizers too?" A serious look crossed Zach's face.

"It'll be nice if you didn't talk to me for a while."

"Hey! Why only me?" Zach protested. "What about Zee?"

Nick scoffed. "Zee didn't go behind my back and threw a party at my house."

"Okay 'behind your back' is a little dramatic don't you think? And we both know that's not the only reason why." Whatever expression Zach saw on Nick's face made him hurried to say. "Speaking of Zee." His eyes found mine. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

I had a vague clue about what this was about.

"Sure." I forced a smile.

"I needed some time to mentally prepare myself for this party anyway," Nick muttered when we stood up.

Zach and I backed into the corner of the room.

"Why did you lie and tell him that Sam was coming?"

So I had a complete clue about what this was about.

"It isn't a lie if it's actually going to happen, Zach. It's called predicting the future. I was being psychic."

Loophole.

"Well, then you're a bad one because I didn't invite Sam. He's not coming." He appeared to be certain.

That's about to change.

"That's going to change because you're going to call him."

Zach began shaking his head before my sentence even finished. "I'm not doing that."

"You are."

"No, I'm not."

My tone became more serious. "Zach, you said you were going to talk to him and prove to him that he was wrong."

"Yes. But I thought I had some time before doing that to prepare myself." He folded his arms.

I studied his face. "How much time did you think you had?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe like a year?"

"You do know that this is our last year of high school right?"

"Exactly!"

I smacked his arm. "What the hell, Zach?"

"Ow." He rubbed his arm. "Stop hitting me!"

"Then stop acting like an idiot. Quit stalling. Call and invite him right now."

"Okay. Fine." He took his phone out. "I'll text him. He probably won't come anyway."

"Let's not make his decision for him okay?" I smiled up at him and patted his arm.

Zach nodded. "Yeah." He showed me his phone as proof that he did in fact text him. I was so damn proud of him for that. It's not easy putting yourself out there.

"Now I'll have to uninvite one person otherwise Nick will skin me alive," Zach muttered as he walked back toward the couch. I followed suit but halted when a thought occurred in my mind.

"Guys." I waited until I had their attention. "Don't we need to hide the cake?"

I earned that freaking photo, I'd be damned if someone got to see the picture just like that. We needed to hide the fucking cake.

They both looked as confused as ever and came to the conclusion at the same time. They both jumped up. "The cake!" They said in unison.

Wow.

No wonder they were best friends.

I mean, second-best friends.

Everyone knows I'm Nick's best friend.

I try not to brag much.

"Relax, we can just keep it in the fridge." Zach offered a smile.

"Yeah, a house full of teenagers and they won't open the fridge." Nick shook his head at Zach. "Let's just keep it in my room." Nick took the cake and went upstairs to his room.

Zach came beside me. "Do you think he'll let loose after some time?"

"Ask some easy questions." I kept my eyes on the staircase.

"Okay. Do you think we're making a mistake?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. Who knows. We're humans, we make mistakes." I looked at him. "And If it turns out to be a mistake then I had nothing to do with this."

Zach gave me a look. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're the best?"

"Yeah, me. All the time. Which reminds me." I turned to face him. "Never call Nick buddy ever again."

His laughter suddenly ended when he saw my expression. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're scary, Zee?"

"Yeah, me. All the time." I focused back on the stairs, waiting for Nick.

Beside me, I felt Zach move toward the kitchen murmuring. "Should've guessed."

Nick emerged from his room and made his way downstairs. My heart did that happy dance it does whenever I see Nick. Even though he was probably not happy with the situation he still smiled at me. I found the next step of my mission at that moment.

Next step.

Make Nick happy.

Genuinely happy.

And that started now.