Welcome back to the AR one-shot collection! This particular one-shot is actually much more in line with the official Accidental Reverse story, and therefore it contains several spoilers, so please be warned of that!

There will be more information in the author's note at the end.

Anyway, for now... I'm a little nervous for this chapter, since it took quite a drastic, angsty turn when I didn't intent for that to happen, so I hope you will all enjoy it still. Now, please enjoy Accidental Reverse from Shindou's perspective!

~'0'~

It's not like Shindou has anything against hospital rooms.

He stayed in one himself, for a while after the Arakumo match – almost didn't get out in time for the finals, but beyond that, it wasn't that bad. He's never understood the cliché.

Now he thinks he might, just a little. Because it's so much worse when it's not him lying in that bed. And sitting here, next to someone who has, against all odds, become one of his best friends – someone usually so cheerful and lively – only makes it worse.

Because now the only thing he can do is think.

Shindou remembers the first time he met Tenma very well.

Considering the younger was standing on a destroyed field, facing what could only be a Seed, about to be hit in the face by a soccer ball... well, it's hard to forget that. Shindou's first impression of him was arguably not the nicest; a naïve first-year who thought he could involve himself in the soccer club's business.

That impression lasted a whole of two minutes before Tenma cheerfully threw it back in his face.

The big clue? Tenma laughing at his introduction. Shindou still doesn't know the reason for that (doubts he ever will, because if there's one thing he's learnt about his young friend it's that there's just no understanding what is going on in that head of his), but he does remember his indignity at the disrespect. It was an incredibly serious situation, people were hurt, everything the Raimon soccer club stood for was being challenged. And Tenma laughed.

From there on, of course, it only escalated. Because it's become obvious, in the last few months, that nothing less is possible whenever Tenma is even remotely involved.

'Wasure Teta'. Whatever possessed the young brunet to introduce himself like that- admittedly, even Shindou forgot his indignation for a second there in his utter confusion. Although, thinking back on it now, it was pretty funny.

And then Tenma called the Black Knights bees, and really, that should've been enough warning.

Still. Shindou's second impression was not all that better, he's ashamed to admit now.

But- in his defense, Tenma just... randomly appeared and defied every expectation any of them had! He called a Seed a stalker, then sympathized with him. He seemed to find it amusing to mess with the team, but didn't hesitate to throw himself in harm's way for them. He annoyed Shindou so much- and somehow still convinced him to fight when he was dead set on quitting.

And then Sangoku talked to him.

(The two of them stayed behind in the club room after practice; it was Shindou's turn to clean up that day and Sangoku, saint that he was, had offered to help. It wasn't as if there was a huge mess, but the captain appreciated the company nonetheless.

They worked in comfortable silence for a bit when Shindou finally voiced the thought that had been plaguing him for quite a while.

''You've been talking with Matsukaze.''

Sangoku, to his credit, barely paused in his motions. ''I have,'' he agreed, not looking up from where he was stacking several training schedules. ''He's a sweet kid when you get to know him.''

That, that had Shindou stopping in his movements to give his friend a wry look. Usually he wouldn't even think of disrespecting an elder like this, but there's never been any of that trepidation with Sangoku – he trusted him, and he knew the other trusted him in turn.

''He's the reason coach Kudou is gone.''

This time, Sangoku did look at him and the captain was shocked to see the anger blatant on his face. The oldest on the team, Sangoku usually stayed calm and patient, and to see him anything more than moderately annoyed was rare. ''That isn't true, Shindou, and you know it,'' the keeper said quietly. ''Fifth Sector would've gotten rid of coach Kudou anyway. And coach's actions were his own.''

Shindou averted his gaze, but didn't back down. ''But if it wasn't for Matsukaze-''

''Coach Kudou knew exactly what he was doing,'' Sangoku cuts in, stern. ''Tenma is thirteen, Shindou. He doesn't deserve your anger.''

Shindou sucked in a sharp breath, bright grey eyes flashing through his mind.

With how sharp-witted the younger brunet could sometimes be, it was easy to forget his age. But Sangoku was right – the captain knew that, but it was hard to admit.

The keeper was watching him, his expression softer. He smiled a little when Shindou glanced up again, and it automatically relaxed the younger. Sangoku picked up the schedules again, turning his focus back to cleaning up as he lightly spoke, ''I invited him over for dinner a while ago.''

Shindou blinked. ''You did?''

''Yes,'' the keeper said, smile brightening a little. ''I came across him when I was grocery shopping. He seemed sad, so I invited him over. He was perfectly polite to my mother and me.''

Not knowing what else to do, Shindou moved to grab the broom from the cupboard – one downside of playing soccer was that there was always sand on the floor after their training – while Sangoku continued talking. ''He told me he moved here from Okinawa when he was nine.''

Shindou glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. What was the use telling him this?

What followed had him freezing.

''His parents didn't come with him.''

Sangoku's eyes were unreadable when Shindou's head whipped up.

For a few moments, neither spoke.

Then the captain asked, quietly, ''nine?''

A nod was his answer, and Shindou had to swallow forcefully. Maybe- maybe he didn't know as much about Matsukaze as he thought.

Fuck.)

That had changed something.

Because Shindou... he couldn't imagine it, still can't. Moving to a strange city, alone, at the age of nine? That definitely sends a shot of sympathy through him every time he remembers, and it was enough to give him a second of doubt when he saw Tenma after that conversation.

And then. Well.

Tenma followed him to his house.

Thinking back on it now, Tenma was kind of acting like a stalker.

Oh, the irony of that – no doubt the younger brunet will be so miffed when Shindou tells him that. The elder is going to enjoy it so much when that time comes.

A smile twists on his lips, but it doesn't take long for that to fade and for him to get caught up in his thoughts again.

Shindou has no idea how, but for some reason, after that, it was just impossible not to get swept up in Tenma's soccer and before he knew it, he'd joined what would later be called the rebellion. And he's damn proud of it too.

(It was break time, only a few minutes left before they had to face Tengawara again, and coach Endou was encouraging them all. Shindou couldn't help the spark of hope when he saw his friends' reactions to the man's words. Maybe... maybe there was a chance they'd fight with them.

He knew they were good people – they just needed a little push.

Endou left shortly after, and Shindou stayed quiet. He saw their doubt, but this was something they had to decide for themselves.

''So... what do we do now?'' Hamano asked, a little hesitant, but no one knew how to answer.

Then Tenma hummed thoughtfully.

It was silent enough it caught everyone's attention, and when Shindou looked at his face... that was the first time he felt the trepidation he would become very, very familiar with in the future.

'Oh no,' he thought, because that look didn't bode well for anyone.

''Tsurugi,'' Tenma said, and Shindou's dread grew tenfold.

His concern was proven to be justified when Tenma's eyes seemed to sparkle, even as Tsurugi snapped a harsh ''what?''

''Promise me you'll never wear a flower dress. Or dress up like a vegetable, for that matter.''

Tsurugi choked on nothing. For what was probably the first time in his life, Shindou felt sorry for him.

'Oh no,' the thought went, unbidden, through his head. 'We're friends now. This is going to keep happening, isn't it?'

He had no idea how right he was.)

Yeah, he really had no idea – because, of course, Tenma couldn't even wait a day. He had to drag Shindou, Shinsuke and Sangoku along for ramen. Ramen, of all things. He was going to deny, really! But then Tenma's eyes went all big and sad and sparkly and how was he supposed to say no to that, Sangoku-san?!

At least it was tasty.

Was it worth it being called a stalker for the first time? No clue. Shindou has long since realized it's better not to think about.

But... it had been fun. When he doesn't think about it, it's always fun, especially when people who aren't used to the younger brunet are exposed to his antics. Shindou will never say it out loud, but seeing the utter incomprehension whenever Tenma just... casually talks about mutant carrots or blowing up microwaves or gives scarily accurate predictions of the future- he can see why the younger does it.

(Shindou will never admit that, but he's pretty sure at least Kirino knows, anyway.)

(It was Minamisawa, who tried to stir up trouble that time. He tried to get a rise out of all of them, and, Shindou noticed, especially Tenma.

Tough luck there, though, because Tenma seemed completely invested in his phone. The older brunet was a little afraid of what had caught his attention.

Minamisawa seemed to have noticed the troublemaker's lack of attention too, shooting him a death glare, and part of Shindou wanted to step in and defend the young teen. But he'd been getting more familiar with Tenma's expression, and that particular glint in his eyes- the one screamed mischief.

Shindou knew he was right when Tenma looked up, slowly, solemn, and said, ''I just discovered frogs are herbivores.''

The confusion that followed was palpable.

And... and Shindou knew he shouldn't encourage this behavior, but he was curious. What if he did? It wasn't harmful if he did it just once, right?

That's why he let himself make a sound of amusement and say, ''frogs are carnivores.''

Tenma shook his head dramatically. ''But what if they aren't? What if they simply want us to think they're carnivores? Like a... survival instinct.'' Okay, that was certainly a creative way of thinking about it, Shindou could admit that through his growing amusement. ''What if they simply want to look more dangerous in order to protect themselves?''

''Okay.'' Apparently, Shindou wasn't the only one who wanted to play along, because Sangoku raised an eyebrow. ''And who would they scare?''

Tenma paused. ''I don't know,'' he admitted finally. '''Maybe they have a secret, terrifying enemy we don't know about, like... mutant carrots!''

...Of course. Shindou didn't know why he expected anything else. ''Mutant carrots,'' he repeated, deadpan. ''Very terrifying.''

What he didn't expect was for grey eyes to snap towards him, deadly serious. He couldn't deny being a little wary when Tenma said, low, eerily,''Never underestimate mutant carrots. The last time I encountered them, I had to fight for my life.''

No one quite knew what to say to that.

For some reason, Shindou didn't think Tenma was joking.

After a few moments, Shinsuke broke the silence, speaking slowly. ''You've fought mutant carrots.'' It was clear he was doubting his friend's words. ''How, exactly, did you encounter those mutant carrots?''

Tenma shrugged, and it probably gave a few people whiplash when he cheerfully chirped, ''Cooking accident!''

Shindou really, really didn't want to know.)

It was hard, after that. The team... well, it couldn't really be called a team, and Shindou still wishes he knew about how pressure they put on Tenma. Even more so, now that he's sitting next to the younger's hospital bed, listening to the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

When he found out about how much it had really hurt Tenma to deal with their distrust, he'd been angry at the others. At himself.

(It was when they went to get ramen after the Mannouzaka match. Shindou still looks back on that match with fondness – it was, after all, the first game they played as a real team. The first show of what they would become.

They'd already discussed their next course of action – because they all knew they needed the way they were now wasn't good enough. Some of them barely knew each other as more than acquaintances.

But at least the first step had been taken.

Shindou deliberately did not acknowledge that it was Tenma dragging them all along for ramen that was the first step. He had his pride, okay.

But despite the more positive outlook now, the captain couldn't help but repeat his friend's earlier words in his mind, again and again – and from the looks of it, he wasn't the only one.

''We should work on not hating each other's guts anymore.''

That- that had come as a shock, and Shindou felt dread pool in his stomach when Tenma, cheerful, weird, carefree Tenma, shut down as he said those words.

The captain almost thought he imagined it, but he knew he'd heard correctly when Sangoku said, ''One thing, though. We don't hate each other's guts.''

The dread from second ago was nothing compared to the awful feeling creeping up on Shindou when he saw Tenma's expression. ''We don't?'' he'd asked, and the worst thing was that it sounded genuine.

The captain pushed his unfinished ramen away.

Suddenly, he wasn't all that hungry anymore.)

That had only been the first instance of it.

It wasn't obvious, Shindou thinks. It still isn't. Tenma, for all he tries to support all of them always, has an incredibly hard time of letting anyone else in. But there's no denying how awful it was when the younger brunet admitted to willingly allowing himself to be in physical pain, just so his team wouldn't be set back by it.

It was nothing compared to the horror of realizing that Shindou himself was one of the reasons Tenma had those seizures. He was responsible for Tenma being hurt, and Tenma didn't tell him. Didn't tell anyone, not willingly.

That scares Shindou sometimes. He thinks it scares Sangoku, too, but the keeper may not have seen how deep the problem runs.

Someone else has.

(It was still strange, Shindou mused, to be here.

Here being Soar's headquarters. He'd been released from the hospital only a day ago and wasn't allowed to go back to practice yet, but he would soon. Hopefully in time for the finals, although his doctor had warned him to take it easy still.

It could've been so much worse. Would've been, if Shindou hadn't given in to Tenma's demands to sit out the last part of the Arakumo-Raimon match.

He'd been... hell, he'd been angry. He didn't like to admit, but it was the truth. He was the captain, and here was a first-year, someone who wasn't even on their team for two months, telling him to step out.

(Maybe part of it was that, when Shindou tried to do the same, he was denied. Maybe it was because it was Shindou's job to take care of his kouhai, not the other way around. Maybe it was because he felt he failed his team by getting hurt, by giving in to the pain.)

But Tenma's eyes had been determined, a harsh, set grey – a look Shindou had seen often enough, but never that intense.

No, scratch that.

He'd seen it exactly once.

When Tenma stared down the Holy Emperor and told him, in no uncertain terms, to leave Raimon alone.

That was what got Shindou to agree – because if Tenma looked at him with the same conviction as when he faced the most terrifying man in the soccer world, no one would be able to change his mind. No doubt about it.

Which was why he was here now, at the Soar's headquarters a week later, with another week until the finals. Instead of joining his friends for practice when he would only be sitting at the sidelines, he'd accepted Minamisawa's invitation to join him. Now the two of them were both sitting at the long computer table, Shindou's healing leg elevated as he read through some of the post on Soar's website, the Gassan player typing away next to him.

They'd never been close, per se. Minamisawa was a year older, and almost as distant as Kurama.

But they were teammates once.

And Shindou, for some inexplainable reason, felt more certainty in talking about this particular issue with the teen next to him than his own best friend.

So it was, with feigned casualty, that he said, ''Did you know Tenma told the Holy Emperor that he'd go quietly if the team was left alone?''

Minamisawa's fingers stuttered on the keys.

He stopped typing completely but didn't look up. ''No. I didn't.'' A moment of silence. ''When?''

''God Eden,'' Shindou said, lips twisting down as he remembered standing there, too stunned to interfere, just letting Tenma ensnare himself further.

''Was...'' something in Minamisawa's voice, so hesitant, had the Raimon player looking up sharply, ''was it only the Holy Emperor?''

Shindou narrowed his eyes at the question, alarm bells going off in his head. ''No, there were two others.'' Minamisawa nodded slowly, expression going tight, but he didn't offer up any information – and Shindou had a feeling that if he pushed, he'd be brushed off. So instead, he turned the conversation in another direction. ''Do you... know, why he's so... quick to sacrifice himself for us?''

He asked it hesitantly, not entirely sure if the words were even right, but Minamisawa seemed to understand nonetheless. He shook his head, starting to type again. ''I don't know. It's worrying though.''

Shindou released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He wasn't the only one who'd noticed. He wasn't being paranoid.

''It is,'' he agreed, instead of saying that. His fingers were clutched together tightly, skin turning white under the pressure. ''It's not just that. It's... he thought we hated him. And yet he threw himself in the line of fire without a second thought from what seems like the moment we met him.''

''Fuck, I know!'' Minamisawa spat suddenly, wrenching his head around so he was finally meeting Shindou's gaze. ''I've seen it, you know. The Chained Keshin thing. It was- fuck, did you know what he said to me? He said he wanted Raimon to be happy. Even if it meant he got hurt, like, what the actual fuck? That behavior is neither normal nor healthy!'' he leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair, not like the usual hair flip he did, but an actual stress reaction. ''I just don't get him, Shindou. I really don't.''

Shindou bit his lip.

He had a feeling he knew exactly what Minamisawa was talking about. Still...

''What do you mean?''

The other shot him a sharp glare. ''Don't play dumb when we both know how smart you are, Shindou,'' Minamisawa ground out. ''But if you want it spelled out for you so badly... it's obvious, isn't it? He knows too much. Knows shit without being able to explain how. A thirteen-year-old doesn't just set up all this,'' he gestured towards their surroundings wildly, ''in a matter of weeks. Nothing about it makes sense and you know that too.''

The midfielder averted his gaze – he'd asked for that, he knew.

His voice portrayed his uncertainty when he asked, quietly, ''do you mistrust him?''

Minamisawa took his time answering, and Shindou wasn't sure if he was glad about that – of course it was good that the other thought it through, but at the same time, if he had to think about it in the first place...

Then the Gassan forward sighed. ''No,'' he said finally. ''He's... he's a good kid. He cares, too much probably. I just...''

''You wished he'd trust you more,'' Shindou finished dimly. ''Me too.''

With a wry huff, Minamisawa shook his head in something akin to unease. ''Fuck, I'm just- I'm worried. He was thrown against a mirror. How much worse is it gonna get? Because it is going to get worse, I hope you know that.'' His eyes bore into Shindou's, a silent warning.

Shindou's voice was a whisper when he admitted, ''That's what I'm afraid of.'')

Because- Minamisawa was right,it had taken Tenma being thrown against a fucking mirror before he opened up, and even that was only the top of the iceberg, Shindou is sure.

(He's seen Tenma break down too often now after putting a smile on his face to not fear the moment it will get bad enough the younger won't just be able to bounce back from it like usual.)

And now-

He sucks in a sharp breath, staring at Tenma's face. Closed eyes. Pale, even with his tanned skin. Too silent. It's so wrong, so, so wrong, but Shindou doesn't even know what is wrong exactly.

How did Tenma go from playing around as usual to- to this?

It hadn't been okay, the older brunet knows that. There are so many unspoken issues in their team, and no matter how many times he's tried to find a way to help, it always seems to backfire somehow. And with everything Tenma has done since the Holy Road ended...

(Shindou was angry.

He wasn't surprised by the revelation. It wasn't even really a revelation – it rushed through him, hot anger of the likes he rarely succumbed to. He prided himself on keeping his composure.

But this...

He'd noticed, of course he had. Everyone had and that said a lot. Tenma hadn't been himself ever since the Holy Road ended. He'd been stuck in his head. He'd been quieter, not silent, never silent, he liked messing with them all too much, but he'd been withdrawn.

And now he was gone.

Without any warning. He'd just... left, even when the Resistance tried to keep an eye on them all – they'd learnt from the revolution, and they were taking responsibility, but Shindou secretly thought they were also wary. Wary of Tenma. Wary of what Tenma knew, because if one thing was clear, it was that Fifth Sector held more secrets than the team ever imagined.

Tenma had been after those secrets, that much was clear, despite how much both Fifth Sector and the Resistance tried to conceal it from them.

And now Tenma had disappeared, only leaving a fucking note-

Shindou only realized he'd been clenching his fists when the sharp sting of nails digging into his skin caught his attention. It took a surprising amount of effort to uncurl his fingers.

''I can't believe he just left,'' Tsurugi whispered suddenly.

A stab of sympathy went through the captain – he'd seen how close his two kouhai had become, it was as obvious as anything. All three of them were close, if he was honest, when he forgot about the age difference between them.

And that was something else he silently worried about, not as regularly as Tenma's martyr complex, but just as sharply. Tsurugi's almost fragile mental state.

Tsurugi first opened up to Tenma, but later started to confide in Shindou too. He'd admitted, quietly during one of their conversations, that he didn't want to put more pressure on their youngest friend – although the captain suspected Tenma already had an inkling to how deep the Seedling's self-doubt really went. He always seemed to know things before anyone else did.

But Shindou also knew that Tsurugi depended on Tenma, the first to accept him, to reach out a helping hand, and that it went both ways. That their youngest friend just left like this... he winced when he imagined how much that must've hurt the forward.

''It's not your fault,'' he said, letting his anger fade and his voice go soft. ''You have to know that, Tsurugi. This is on Tenma.''

It was harsh. But it was true.

Tsurugi didn't seem convinced, turning doubting eyes on his senpai. ''He didn't tell me, he-'' to Shindou's growing horror, the younger's voice broke, ''he didn't- if he'd gone alone it would be different but he didn't. He... he doesn't trust me.''

Shindou rarely got angry, especially not at his kouhai.

Right now, he was cursing Tenma's name to hell and back.

He knew it was irrational, but he couldn't care less. Randomly disappearing without so much as a by your leave, only a single note that didn't explain anything, setting off the Resistance after the whole team had been trying to get away from their overbearing attention, completely discarding his friends' feelings and concerns... he'd done a lot of things since he'd joined their team, but this was going too far.

''I don't think Tenma invited them along,'' Shindou said, voice low. He doubted it would comfort Tsurugi, was quite certain it would do the opposite actually, but he wasn't going to lie about this. He couldn't do that to him after Tenma already did. ''I think they caught him when he left and went with him.''

Tsurugi exhaled sharply, doubtful. ''They would've stopped him,'' he muttered.

The elder raised an eyebrow. ''You think they could stop Tenma?'' he asked, skeptical and not bothering to hide it. ''No. I think they tried and when it didn't work, the best next thing was to go along with him.'' His mind went to his other friends, and he sent them a silent plea to look out for the young brunet. God knew he needed it, and with Tenma being out of his sight for the foreseeable future, Shindou couldn't do anything.

Glancing at Tsurugi's downturned lips, he admitted that wasn't quite right.

He might not be able to do anything for Tenma, but he still had his responsibility to the rest of the team. He'd take care of them like he'd always done, and with that quiet certainty, he reached out to wrap an arm around Tsurugi's shoulders.

The younger usually pushed away most invitations to physical contact, but this time he leaned into it gratefully. Purple sparked around them as their Keshin reacted to each other, a comforting warm.

''It will be okay,'' Shindou said, smiling when Tsurugi glanced at him hesitantly. ''Tenma will be fine, he's not alone. And the team has each other. As Tenma would say, everything will work out somehow, right?''

Finally the forward cracked a weak smile.

''Right.'')

Even now that the team has reunited, they still haven't really talked about it.

It's partly because they haven't really had the time, with everything that's been happening, but also because Shindou doesn't know how to start the conversation without Tenma walking away from them. Always, always walking away.

(''Tenma, what is Sangoku-san saying?'' he sounded tense, and he was. A horrible suspicion crept up on him, and it only strengthened when Tenma looked away.

With ice cold clarity, Shindou knew he would brush off the question.

He was proven right a second later. ''Nothing.''

Shindou had to take a breath to hold back the wave of hurt that crashed over him. Instead he focused on his anger and grabbed the younger brunet's shoulder, not painfully but enough to force him to look up. When he did, Shindou narrowed his eyes. He wasn't joking. ''Matsukaze Tenma,'' he said sharply, ''what have you not been telling us? What seizures?''

''It's nothing,'' Tenma bit out defensively. ''Do you really think I would lie to you?''

Shindou didn't want to say it, it was truly the last thing he wanted to do because he knew it would hurt the younger, but-

But maybe it was time for Tenma to realize his actions had consequences.

So, keeping his voice strong when all he wanted to do was go soft, gentle, prove to the younger they'd always be there to help and support him, he simply said,

''Yes.''

He pretended the shocked hurt he could see in Tenma's eyes didn't crush him.)

It hadn't worked. Of course it hadn't, but Shindou just didn't know what else to do at that point – still doesn't. The young brunet finally seems to be opening up to them, but anyone who knows him well enough will see that there's still so much he isn't telling them.

And while Shindou was angry... now it just hurts.

Tenma is weird and random and freakishly accurate in his predictions and he's probably the most caring, self-sacrificing person he's ever met.

If anyone else behaved the way Tenma did... Shindou isn't sure if he'd put up with it. He admits he can be biased sometimes, gets caught up in his own feelings – just like the first few weeks after the first-years joined.

But he's seen how much the younger teen cares.

(Shindou kept his fingers curled loosely around Tenma's wrist, feeling Maestro's warmth spread through him, carrying over to his younger friend.

Faintly, he could feel it returned to him, but different. Tenma's Keshin, he knew.

Even when it was hiding now, weakened and hurt, it still tried to give back, tried to reach out to Shindou's own Keshin regardless of its own state – much like its user. The captain's grip tightened a bit at the thought.

It tightened even more when Amagi started ranting suddenly – Shindou wanted to stop him, the things he was saying (''You're hurt and you're weak, yet you still accept this?'') but it was almost impossible to cut in until the end.

''Amagi-san!'' he protested, just as he felt Tenma's wrist slip away from him.

He automatically tried to reach out again, but the younger was already standing up, Sangoku having to shoot forward to support him when he swayed dangerously. Shindou was half of the mind to scold him, but before he could, Tenma was suddenly talking.

And his words froze the captain.

''It's because I love soccer.''

Tenma was... Tenma was smiling.

He was undoubtedly in pain – he'd admitted it – and yet he was smiling, voice speeding up in his excitement as he talked. ''I love soccer. I don't care if I'm going to get hurt. I won't ever let it go,'' he said, and Shindou wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Of course – it really was that easy to Tenma, wasn't it?

''And what's more, I love Raimon.''

Shindou froze, and a quiet call of the younger brunet's name escaped him.

''I love Raimon,'' Tenma repeated, so soft and warm that something in Shindou's chest ached. ''I love this team and I love my friends. Whenever I think about my first few weeks as part of the team, it hurts. It hurts remembering that, seeing you all so sad and scared.'' He sounded a little out of breath, still weak from his earlier attack.

Shindou shook his head to himself. How could this even...

What did they do to deserve such loyalty, such genuine adoration? There was no doubting how sincere it was – Tenma's smile was overflowing with soft fondness, eyes bright as he looked at all of them. Shindou had seen that look before, but never so clear.

He really couldn't think of any reason why they'd be deserving of this.

But he knew he wouldn't want to lose it for anything, and looking at the rest of the team- he had a feeling the sentiment was shared.)

That... that had been special to all of them.

Tenma likes to joke around. To mess with them. To confuse them.

There was no sign of any of that when he spoke that day. Something changed between them, then. They were closer from then on, more open to getting to know each other, to depending on each other, and it's now that Shindou realizes just how precious that really is.

It first came to play on God Eden, in the midst of enemy territory when they only had themselves. Everything seemed to be breaking at the time, everyone crumbling beneath the pressure, but... they'd pulled through, together. And again, recently, with the time traveling and the destruction of soccer and the very real danger the Protocol Omega teams formed. Shindou doesn't know if they could've made it through if they weren't as close as they are.

That was the point Tenma started to trust them more, too, and if Shindou is honest he almost cried when the realization sunk in.

(Tenma had told them he was part of Soar.

He had told them.

It still didn't feel real to Shindou. His friend had kept quiet about so many things for so long, and to suddenly have this all dumped on them... he didn't know how to handle it.

But more than anything, more than the confusion and the worry and the fear, he felt glad. So indescribably glad, because-

Because Tenma was opening up.

The captain had so many questions, of course, the primary one being how the hell his kouhai got involved with Soar, and he still wanted answers.

But as he and the rest of Raimon were escorted out of the headquarters – holy crap they'd been to Soar's headquarters – he caught Kirino's gaze, and when his best friend smiled, he couldn't help but return it with one of his own.)

Tenma was still weird. Tenma still talked cheerfully about the color of orange juice, and jumped out of trees to scare them, and hid underneath the goddamn field-

(''Do you guys have any idea where he is?''

When he only got negative answers, Shindou was ready to tear his hair out. He knew Tenma couldn't be left on his own because if he was he'd- he'd get lost chasing a butterfly and set fire to a trashcan on accident, or something equally ridiculous, but they were in the middle of a match. Usually there were no problems there, considering hundreds of people were watching.

But of course the young brunet managed.

And now Shindou was going out of his mind with worry. ''Where could he be...?'' he muttered, scanning the field again, when-

When he was suddenly scared half to death because a cheerful but muffled voice chirped, ''hi guys!'' out of nowhere.

Some of the others let out some very colorful curses. There was an incredibly familiar laugh in response to that.

It came from beneath them.

Shindou wasn't religious, but right then he shot a quick prayer to the gods above to have mercy on them all.

Clearly, he wasn't the only one who'd figured it out, because Tsurugi gave a long-suffering sigh. ''Tenma,'' he said, correctly identifying the disembodied voice, ''Tell me you're not under the field.''

''I am!'' Tenma chirped cheerfully.

''Goddammit.''

Yeah, Shindou could agree with that. Even more so when only a few minutes later, Tenma appeared between the tsunami of the pitch down and screamed ''YEET'' at the top of his lungs.

Dear gods above, what had they ever done to deserve this.)

-but Tenma was opening up to them. Allowed them to help when he was hurt, and let them shoulder some of the burden-

(Tenma was back.

The first glance Shindou got was the large screen above the field, and it horrified him. There was something terrifyingly red on his uniform shirt.

Shindou didn't look any longer. He tore his gaze away and ran towards the entrance of the field, knowing his team would follow, and there- there was Tenma.

He seemed so tiny.

Walking next to Kidokawa Seishuu's Aphrodi, a full-grown adult, he looked small and scared. Shindou had only seen him scared once before, when Fifth Sector came to take him away the first time.

This time, it was worse.

He saw how tense Tenma kept himself, even though he couldn't make out his features at this distance – but it was clear the younger was forcing himself to stay composed, and Shindou hated that.

He hated it even more when large grey eyes found his own and Tenma's face crumbled.

The younger started running too, but it was clear it hurt him – but the teen didn't seem to care and within seconds Shindou was pulling him into his arms, uncaring of formalities because Tenma was hurt. After days of terrified worrying, he was back, and he was hurt, and Shindou held him as if he could break under too much pressure.

Tenma certainly seemed like it, desperately clutching at him, trembling as the rest of the team surrounded the two of them.

And Shindou hated it, because Tenma was bright, and happy, and most likely insane- he wasn't this shaken, scared boy, looking so small and young. It was wrong.

But all Shindou could do was hold him and hope he didn't shatter into a thousand tiny pieces.)

-even though it wasn't nearly enough.

(''I want to play.''

Shindou was honestly going to cry.

Even after Tenma was basically missing for days, even after he showed up with blood on his clothes and bandages everywhere, when his absolute exhaustion was clear in the dark bags beneath his eyes and the regular shivers that wracked his lithe frame; he still wanted to play in the match.

The captain listened to Kurama, to his other teammates, their protests, but he doubted it would help any. It never did; Tenma did whatever he wanted, no matter what anyone said.

It was admirable.

It was the cause of the nausea crawling up Shindou's throat.

''Tenma,'' he called, and wasn't even surprised by the utter desperation in his voice. But he could see it, the tense set of the younger's shoulders, and knew the brunet didn't hear it. Knowing it was his last chance, Shindou turned towards Kidou, begging him with his eyes to just be reasonable. ''Coach, you can't let him play!''

He was caught off guard by Tenma's hand on his arm, and when he looked, wide, pleading grey eyes stared back. ''Shindou-senpai, please,'' the younger midfielder begged, and Shindou wanted to scream at him. Why, why was Tenma so determined for this? Why did he want to play so much?

Did he not have faith in them to win without him?

''I'll be alright. Please, let me do this.'' Those last words were meant for Kidou.

Shindou closed his eyes and fought back tears, already knowing what would happen before the agreement even left the coach's lips.)

A quiet sigh escapes Shindou.

He can't tear his eyes away from Tenma's pale face, even as the door of the room opens behind. Someone silently joins him in one of the free chairs, a flash of pink revealing Kirino, and a gentle hand finds the strategist's shoulder.

''He'll be alright, Shindou,'' the defender says lowly.

A humorless chuckle escapes him before he can hold it back and he sees Kirino grimace, fingers tightening. ''And then what?'' Shindou asks sharply, his laughter cutting off. ''What's next? Is he going to- to take a bullet for someone? Injure himself and ignore it until we find out?''

''Shindou...''

The anger leaves him as quickly as it came, and the strategist sags in his chair, dropping his head in his hands. ''He's just... going to keep doing this,'' he whispers, and can't even bring himself to care about the despair dripping from every word. ''I don't know what to do anymore, Kirino.''

The admission feels like failure.

His friend squeezes his shoulder again, silent support, and then lets his hand fall away. For a long moment, neither of them say anything, only the beeping of the heart monitor filling the room.

Then Kirino breathes out audibly. ''I don't think there's anything you can do,'' he answers quietly and Shindou's shoulders drop. ''We've all tried to get through to him, but he just...''

''Can this even be called stubborn anymore?'' the midfielder asks quietly, lifting his head enough to meet his best friend's gaze. ''This behavior is downright self-destructive. I- I've tried to be helpful, to be stern, understanding, but nothing- nothing works. Nothing.''

He suddenly notices Kirino's trembling fingers, tiny shivers wracking his frame, and sits up in alarm. Now at eye-height again, he can finally see how his friend's blue eyes shine suspiciously, how he's chewing on his lip in an old bad habit, and a stab of regret goes through him.

Kirino is shaking his head before Shindou can say anything, lips twisting into a sad, sad smile. ''I guess... the only thing we can really do is wait now.'' His voice shakes, but he doesn't look away from their teammate's sleeping form. ''At some point, he's going to come across something he can't handle on his own. We'll have to be there for him when that time comes.''

Shindou hates that his best friend is right.

But he is right, and the strategist knows it. At this rate, Tenma will never willingly open up to them, shouldering his burden in silence while his friends watch on helplessly from beyond the walls the young brunet has built around himself.

And Shindou will watch, hand reached out in silent promise and support, until Tenma is finally ready to look up and accept the help he so clearly needs.

Until then, they can only wait.

~'0'~

I was a bit nervous for this, because I'm not sure how I portrayed Shindou here, but please don't think he hates Tenma or anything! He actually cares a lot about him and it hurts him a lot when Tenma pushes everyone away and does everything alone, because he can see how much it hurts Tenma himself when he does that; and Shindou is incredibly afraid that, at some point, Tenma will end up in too much trouble for him to deal with. While writing this chapter, I realized just how much Tenma is trying to shoulder alone, and how much he truly pushes people away; and Shindou especially reacts to this a lot. I hope I managed to convey that correctly!

So, to explain this a bit: the If Only You Could See series will continue after this. It's a series in which (a part of) Accidental Reverse is seen through another character's eyes; please remember, there is a very real chance of these one-shots including spoilers like the above chapter.

I've already got several characters who will most likely featured in this series, including Tsurugi Yuuichi, Minamisawa Atsushi, Amemiya Taiyou, Kishi Jiro, Gouenji Shuuya and Shuu. Feel free to request someone else, but I cannot promise I will write all of them, both because of work amount and plot reasons, so please respect my decision on this.

If you have any specific scenes for the characters mentioned above, or if I announce I will write another If Only You Could See chapter about a specific character, feel free to request a scene you want to see from their respective as well! Again, I can't promise anything, but I'll try my best!

Anyway, I'm super hyped for it! I hope you are as well! ^.^

Until next time!

- Yara