Achieving Unbroken
Chapter One

-

"Sometimes the picture is clearer much more than you want it to be."
Chemistry | Steve Void + No Mondays (Ft. Clara Mae)

-

Lilla
[Monday, May 8th, 2018]

I don't know how long I've been standing here. My feet want to move, but my body feels trapped in stone, like I couldn't even move if I tried.

Why can't I tear my eyes away from him? I don't even think I've blinked in awhile.

"Lil?" At the sound of Piper's voice I snap around. "You ready?"

Oh, right. Crap.

"Um... I don't think I can come today." Her thin eyes widen with confusion, and as if she knows why I can't come to Starbucks she leans around me to look out the window. When she sees what I'm looking at, her face twists into an upset look.

"No." She says adamantly.

"Yes." I say back. We find ourselves in a staring contest, when Gavin comes up behind her.

"Hey guys, I think that Walker just--- Oh my God, are you finally going to talk to him?" I have no clue how he knew I was staring at Jason, but then again, he knows me freakishly well. His face is full of hope, and I can't help but grin at his support. Piper just looks annoyed.

"You want this?" She asks Gavin, gesturing out the window.

"Uh, yeah. She's been dwelling on it for the past two weeks while he was suspended and I think that there's potential in her plan."

"Thank you, at least I have one supportive friend," I snap, obviously staring at Piper. She rolls her eyes.

"Whatever. I'm being the caring friend. I just don't want to see you disappointed if it doesn't work out or upset if it goes too far. You can't fix everyone."

I get where she's coming from, but I'll be fine. I just think it would be worth a shot to try, even if I fail. Something needs to be done.

"Oh, I'll survive," I dramatise. "Seriously. It's OK."

She hardly looks convinced, which doesn't surprise me. I can definitely be more persuasive, but she's my best friend, and we always cave, no matter how against something we are.

"Ugh, fiiine. Go talk to him. We'll go to Starbucks and get you a sandwich so you can eat in math." My grin returns, cheeky and dorky and happy.

"I will always love you." I coo, and the two of them roll their eyes.

"OK, Whitney. Go get your Kevin Costner. I'll see you at passing." She says, and grabs Gavin to tug him out of the cafeteria. Before they walk out the door, Gavin looks over his shoulder and mouths good luck. I mouth back thanks, then turn back around to look at Jason.

He has his earbuds in, and he's hard at work on what looks like homework. His head is down, he is hardly paying attention to the lunch tray on front of him and some of his auburn hair is falling in his face, which he doesn't brush out of the way.

With a deep breath, I leave the cafeteria, and stomp across the grass of the quad to his picnic table. When I get there, he doesn't look up.

So I sit down. Still, nothing.

I reach across to his tray and pluck a french fry off. Making sure I take awhile to eat it so he notices, I take it in bite by bite.

... Nothing.

"Can I ask what you're doing?" My heart rate drastically spikes when he speaks up, and I even almost choke on a bit of fry. Shocked and slightly out of breath, I reply.

"I'm riding a bike." He looks up from his work and gives me a hard stare. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm sitting with you."

"No shit. Why?" I shrug and take another fry.

What? Our cafeteria is serving the good fries today.

"Why not?" His eyes squint more and his mouth curls to a frown. I'm definitely pushing his buttons.

"If you keep taking my food then I will throw this tray of food at you. You understand that, right?" Well, at least I got him talking, even if it is about staining all of my clothes with ketchup. Whatever.

"Yes, I'm well aware," I smirk. We stare intently at each other, and the emotions in his eyes look like they're at war. Finally, he breaks the contact, staring down at his work and gripping the edge of the table. He's making up his mind about something. What? I don't know.

"Thank you." Hold up, what?

"What?"

"For two weeks ago. The fight. Thank you." His expression of gratitude takes me by suprise, and my face softens. I plant my hand a little more centered on the table, not trying to grab his hand but showing him that he has my focus.

"Of course. Don't mention it, it's not a big deal."

"It certainly seemed like it was. I know that I'm a temperamental assface, but it was cool of you to help me out. So thanks."

I open my mouth to say something else, but my unspoken words are interrupted by yells coming from the school. We both look, me having to turn around, and I see Rob, EJ, Cannon, Patrick, and Vince exiting the cafeteria, screaming about something and hitting each other on the back in true high school boy fashion. Cannon and Vince look in our direction for a second, and I quickly turn my head back to Jason and see him looking at them too, pain on his face. When I look back over to the group, the boys have moved on and gone to their table. I turn to Jason.

"You miss them."

That was probably the wrong thing to say, because I can almost physically see his walls going back up, but they seem easier than expected to take down. So I don't worry.

"I don't."

"So you're telling me that you were having that La La Land moment with the rhododendrons over there?"

"'La La Land moment?'"

"Not the point. Sometimes the picture is clearer more than you want it to be, Jason. But just so you know, they miss you too." This comment makes him flinch. The walls crumble, just a little bit, and I know I am making progress.

"How would you know that?"

"I know that guys aren't big on having heart-to-hearts with each other, but they're my friends and I like to get into deeper things than how practice was. They don't like staying on the subject too long, but they say they miss you."

Jason looks down. He takes a few fries, offers one to me (which I accept), and shove the rest in his mouth.

"Even if I missed them too, how would I get back there? I used to be up here with them," he motions with his hand, "and now I'm down here." He lowers his hand to the surface of the table. "It would take a lot of work and strategy to get rid of my antisocial-asshole title."

"So you do wanna get your friends back?"

"What I went through was hell. It sucked more than anyone could know, and I'm not just gonna forget it. But... If I asked him, he wouldn't want me to throw any of my opportunities away. I want to have my friends back. I miss the guys, I miss football, I just miss... Who I was. But I don't know if I can be that person again."

"You don't have to be that person again. What you went through was awful. You're still Jason, whether you are the same Jason you were last year or not." He smiles. It's a bit weak, like he hasn't done it in too long, and I can tell he's doubting me, but it's a smile.

And Jason Oakland has a million dollar smile.

"So, what did you have in mind?"

"To...?"

"To help me." I'm slightly taken aback that he knew I would have an idea, but I don't know how much he's going to like what I have to say. Whether I stall or not, I'm here to tell him and he has given me the opportunity.

So here it goes. I take a deep breath, and...

"We start dating."