Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Fifty Two

—

"Darling, all of my wrongs, they lead me right to you
Wrapped in your arms, I swear I'd die
For your love, your love, I'm a better, better man"
Better Man | 5 Seconds of Summer

—

Jason
[Wednesday, November 14th, 2018]

Now, I'm only going to say this once, because I'm worried that I am going to jinx it. But, for the first time in what feels like forever: Life is good.

Everyone at school thinks that Lilla and I are dating. Which is pretty nice, because we act like a couple wherever we go; whether our friends are around or not. I've become better friends with Patrick, Vince, and Peyton, and the four of us hang out pretty often.

Charlie and I even talk once in awhile. So, lets just say that Admin is relieved that there have been significantly less hallway conflicts than there were when him and I were at each other's throats.

Now, it's almost Thanksgiving, and Lilla and I are at the Honey Bear Bakey and Bookstore to celebrate the fact that we have submitted all of our college applications and now have that stress off of our shoulders.

"It would be so amazing if you got into Stanford," she says to me before taking a long drink of her latte. Stanford is one of the top schools I applied to because of their psychology program, even thought I think I am more likely to get into WSU or UW (another school I applied to).

Lilla also applied to UCLA, along with USC and other places in California, because she wants to get her foot in the door to the film industry, but also applied to some in-state schools. And I'm not saying that if we both get into the schools we want that I might choose where to go because of her...

But that's exactly what I'm saying.

"It would be crazy, but I doubt I'm going to make it," I tell her. She rolls her eyes.

"The story that you have to tell on why you want to go there for psychology is unlike anything else they will see on any application. That goes for every school you applied to! UCLA, Stanford, even Yale—even though I don't want you to be on the other side of the country."

"I probably won't go to Yale if I'm accepted. But I want the psychology program, so that's where I'm looking."

"I know. I'm just glad that all of those applications are done," she groans, faking exhaustion. I feel the same way; the applications took hours at a time and drained us.

"Well, cheers to finishing the application process and moving on to relax for our senior year." We raise our coffee mugs to toast, Lilla smiling; because we both know that we will not feel relaxed at all until our high school careers are completely over.

We talk and eat for a few minutes before quiet falls upon us, and Lilla shifts in her seat.

"So, Thanksgiving is next week," she says, clearly leading up to something.

"... Yeah?"

"And, the weekend before Thanksgiving, my dad's family and Devon's family—you remember her, right?" I nod. "They get together and have a semi formal family and friends meal that's not quite Thanksgiving but it's a celebration of sorts." She pauses.

"And?"

"And Devon and my dad thought it would be fun if you came along," she finishes, not really looking me in the eye. I don't answer right away, because it's sort of amusing how nervous she is to ask me, and it's like a legit meet-the-family thing that couples would do. "You don't have to come. But Devon keeps texting me and telling me to ask you and I kind of want you to come but I don't want you to feel pressured so say no if you—"

"No!"

This stops her immediately, and I realized that it sounds like I just declined the invitation and she looks hurt and it makes me feel awful.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I meant no I wouldn't feel pressured and you shouldn't worry about it. I would love to come."

"Really? Are you sure? You really don't—"

"I want to. And you want me to, I can tell."

"But I don't want you to do it for me—"

"I would do anything for you whether I wanted to or not. But this sounds like fun, and, it's free food. So I'm in."

The little smile on her face is enough of a tell that I did the right thing.

"What night is it?" I ask.

"This Saturday. I'll pick you up at 6."

"It's a date."

—

[Saturday, November 17th, 2018]

"This is big, Sweetie," Mom tells me while she starts dinner. I'm waiting with her until Lilla picks me up, and Mom keeps holding my knee down because I'm bouncing it.

"It— It's really no big deal," I shrug off, voice rising an octave. Maybe it is big, but I don't want to worry about it.

"You're going to meet what's practically her dad's side of the family, including the family friends. That's a lot of people and it's quite personal for her to invite you."

"Well, she didn't choose to invite me, her friend wanted me to come—"

"Lilla could have said no and she chose to invite you. And I know you said she gave you an out but Lord knows you would never say no to her so she invited you knowing you would come."

She's right. She's very right but I definitely do not want to admit it. Gotta keep my cool. It's fine.

"You're overthinking this, Mom. It's just a casual thing."

She hums.

"Okay, JayJay. Whatever you say."

I don't respond to her. Luckily, my phone buzzes and lights up with a text from Lilla, saying that she's in the car downstairs.

"She's here. Gotta go. Love you mom," I give her a kiss on the cheek and start towards the door.

"Love you too, Sweetie. Have fun."

I take the elevator downstairs, and it moves almost painfully slow. Once I'm in the lobby, I nod and smile to the woman at the front desk and when I walk outside I instantly see Lilla's car.

"Hey, you!" She gives me a wide grin when I settle myself in the passenger seat. I can tell that she's so happy she's glowing. It fills me with self-satisfaction.

"Hey." I lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek. Her face is warm, I don't know if it's because she's blushing or if it's just warm in the car.

"You missed," she giggles, and turns towards me. I catch on, and go in to give her a real kiss, to which she gladly responds to. Her boldness is surprising, because when we are alone and still acting couple-y she acts much more shy. I'm equally as shy, so things as spontaneous as this don't usually happen very often.

After awhile, she pulls away.

"Much better. Let's get going."

For about 20 minutes we drive, sing obnoxiously loud to Hey Ya by Outkast, and she tells me about everyone I am going to meet tonight. Her paternal grandfather, Devon's parents and grandparents, and then her dad will be there.

The more she talks about it, the more anxious I get.

Yee-freaking-haw.

When we get there, there are already two other cars in the driveway, and Lilla says that we are probably the last to arrive. I try to conceal my nerves with a shaky smile, although this attempt proves massively unsuccessful. Lilla grabs my hand and swings it in between us as she leads me to the front door of her friend's house.

"You're going to be great. You might get a little shit from Devon's dad, but you'll survive."

"I what?" She never said Devon's dad was hardcore or anything like that. My panic is at a high level and she just smiles when Devon opens the front door and welcomes us in. I'm so stunned I barely muster the thought to put on my greeting face and say hi.

Devon's mom, Krista, completely engulfs Lilla in her small arms. Lilla, with heeled boots and natural height, towers over the woman who couldn't be more than 5' 2" (~158cm). However, she has more energy than Diamond and Sapphire combined, and throws her arms around me too.

"Is this the boyfriend that Devon has told me about?"

By the way that Lilla desperately clenches my hand, I'm guessing that Devon was not supposed to falsely tell her entire family that I was "the boyfriend".

But it's okay. If I can play around in front of our entire student body, I can play around a little here, right?

Still holding Lilla's hand, I tug her a little closer.

"Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you Krista. I'm Jason."

"Oh, you're such a doll. We are all so excited that you are here. SHAWN!" She yells over her shoulder. She looks back at me to tell me who Shawn is, even though Lilla told me on the drive over. "Devon's father. SHAWN! LILLA IS HERE WITH HER BOYFRIEND!"

Every person in the house hears her scream this, and I notice Jake, Lilla's dad, looking over at us as if to say "we will talk about this later".

Suddenly, a tall man with a few lines on his forehead from a furrowed brow is approaching and holding out a hand for my to shake. I reach forward, but he only grabs my fingers and tightens his hand around them more and more as we shake. Finally, he lets go.

"It's nice to meet you, Jason," he says with an intense look in my direction.

"You as well, Sir," I choke out, abruptly fearing for my life in this house.

Lilla holds onto my arm, and squeezes it in an apology.

Eventually we all sit down for dinner, Lilla sitting in between me and Devon. Jake is on my left, and we have short couple of conversations in between his and Shawn's various raucous conversations about sports.

"So, my Lilla," Devon's grandmother speaks up, "how did you and this handsome young man meet?" Her eyes flicker to me for a moment with a sparkle. I turn to Lilla.

"Uh, we go to school together."

"Oh, yes, Devon told us that, but did you have a class together, or—"

"She tutored my younger brother, but we didn't talk much then. He passed away a little over a year ago and that sort of brought us together."

I could have lied. I could have told them a cute story about us being paired up for a project about Romeo & Juliet in English. I could have let Lilla continue with vague answers.

But I'm not hiding anymore.

Faces around the table fall. Devon's grandmother begins a stuttered apology, but I smile and waive it off.

"Please, don't worry about it. I didn't bring it up to cry about it. All honesty, that's how we got together."

The grandma makes a comment about us being a beautiful couple. We smile, blush, the whole thing; and as dinner conversation continues, I feel a light pressure on my leg.

"You didn't have to do that," Lilla whispers, saddened, in my ear.

"Hey hey hey," I reach up to her cheek and turn her to fully face me, "it was fine. You don't see me having an episode, do you? I feel alright. We don't have to lie about anything."

The last sentiment almost makes it sound like we are in a real relationship. I feel my heart beating sporadically in my chest, and Lilla's flushed cheeks only have me imagining that the same thing is happening to her. Our eyes are locked on each other's for a few moments that the Earth shifts, and then Lilla's grandpa's cackling breaks the trance.

But the Earth shifted. Lilla felt it.

I can tell because she holds onto my hand for the whole night.