Our secret scars
When Adler finished telling me the whole story I felt so many emotions. Like my heart,hearing this innocent tale, realized a new information, wich my mind couldn't figured out yet.
We're laying on my bed in silence, wich tells much more than words.
How couldn't I understand?
How could I be so stupid?
Why didn't I realized what Adler wanted to tell me a long time ago?
I want to start the conversation but I don't know what to say.
What should I say in this occasion?
A 'thank you' is an insult for someone who share a whole deep dialog, where he also revealed his feelings.
An hug,maybe? But we hugged already so many times, as friends.
Damn, I don't know what to do in this occasion, so I keep staring at the ceiling.
" You're thinking about something, Bell." - Adler murmurs.
"I'm thinking that I wouldn't be here without you." - I nervously laugh.
I've never been good with words.
He seems satisfied and gets up.
"Well, I hope my speech didn't make you feel sad. Shall we drink something? My throat is a desert."
"Good idea." - I get up too.
I followed him up the stairs and we arrive in front of the board again.
I tried to reach the bottles of water, wich are under Lazar's desk, but Adler holds me for my wrist. He doesn't wear his combact gloves so I can feel his hand's skin, soft and hard at the same time.
"Not that." - he says and goes near Sims' desk, and takes two bottles of wine.
"But- Adler, we can't." - I wishper looking around. "We have a mission a few tour from now."
"Nobody will know." - he smiles and throws away the cigarette from his mouth.
He begins to uncork the first bottle and pours some red wine in to two glasses: one for him and one for me.
I've never seen Adler acting so strange and out of the rules. He was always the cool leader that everybody wants.
"Adler, we shouldn't drink alcohols-" - I repeat. "They are only for special occasion."
"This is a special occasion." - he smirks and passes me a glass full of wine, red like blood.
Why did he say this is a special moment? It's not even Christmas or a victory after a mission.
After all, I really need to drink and think about something happy.
"Maybe, within a few hours we will already dead, so carpe diem, Bell. Take the moment."
He's right, a little bit of wine didn't hurt anybody.
"Fuck it." - I take the wine and drink it all.
The alcohol burns my throat and I feel more relaxed.
Adler drinks too and pours other wine in our glasses.
I finish it again and clean my mouth with an hand.
We both sit on Sims' desk and observe the place around us.
"Do you think we will be able to find Perseus?" - I ask to Adler.
"I promised it to the President, remember? We have it, at all costs."
"Even if this means losing our lifes?"
He takes a moment to reflect.
"I don't think that much about death, 'cause I chosed a job where you can die at every minute. But after I met you-" - he drinks some wine " - the death become my enemy number one."
My checks are burning, and I don't know if this is for the alcohol or Adler's words.
So... does he really mean what I think?
My body becomes lighter as a feather every minute.
Adler finishes the first bottle and uncork the second.
We shouldn't drink that much, but who cares?
I look inside the glass and the red color makes me remember about my visions inside the dark room. Maybe in this way my nightmares will disappear...
I take another sip, another, and another.
Adler wasn't saying something in a while so I decide to check up on him.
When I turn my head I catch him staring at me.
His eyes are slightly closed and he hasn't the usual face expression: he's clearly drunk.
After a moment of silence he begins to speak slowly.
"You should work out with me now, so you can improve your compact skills." - he stands up and staggers to his feet.
Adler almost falls on the floor and leans over the wall.
"Adler, I really want to but I don't think it's the right moment, we should go to sleep." - I say reaching him. My head is spinning too but he's more drunk than me, I must help him before we get caught by someone.
Unfortunately I stagger on my feet too and fall on Adler.
We both fall on the cold safehouse's floor.
I feel Adler's arms around my waist and when I open my eyes I notice that I'm on top of him.
"Adler! I'm so sorry I tried to help you but- Did you get hurt? "- I immediately blush.
I want to stand up but I don't have enough forces; my head seems a carousel and my body like a free bird.
Our faces are so close that I can even smell his breath:cigarette, mint and obviously alcohol.
His eyes, wich are deeper than an ocean, look in to mine.
Even if I would have enough control of my body to get over him I don't think I would do that.
"Adler- what are we doing?"- I look around worried, I bet somebody will enter here and see us.
"What do you think I'm doing?" - he asks smiling.
He gets closer to me so our noses are touching.
"This is clearly not a work out." - I laugh.
"You're right, it's better than this."
He slowly reaches my lips and kiss me.
The world around disappears; there are only me and Adler now.
His mouth is soft and tastes like I always imagined in my mind.
I didn't know I wanted this until now.
It's like I found the last piece of puzzle and now I understand why I felt so many emotions when he was around.
I put my hands around his face.
I still can't believe this is our first kiss, slow and full of passion.
But the sadness hits me; he's probably kissing me because he's drunk and I'm kissing
him because I want it.
"Hey, what's wrong?" - he stops kissing and looks at me with a worried expression.
"This is what do you want?" - I ask. "I mean, this is not because you're drunk?"
"I've wanted this since the first time I met you." - he wishpers in my right ear and pulls me up.
"Adler, what are you doing now?"
My anxious goes away and the happiness enters in my heart.
"I'm taking you to the bed." - he chuckles.
What? Where is the serious Adler, who only thinks about his job?
He crosses the entire safhouse with me in his arms and then he goes down the stairs.
Besides the alcohol he's still pretty strong.
He opens my dorm's room and he places me on the bed, then he leans near to me.
I've never could imagine that we would end up like this.
A couple of hours before I was tidied on a chair, waiting to be executed and now I'm with my leader, both drunk in my bed.
He smirks, puts his hand on my waist and pull up my shirt till to the point where my scar is.
"Do you know" - he begins " why I like you so much?"
My heart starts to beat faster.
He traces the outline of the scar with his finger, one time, two times...
My stomach starts to tickle, but I really like this sensation.
"We're so similar, aren't we? You have this-" he refers to my stomach " - and I have that."
He shows me his face.
"Two signs of our past, beautiful or not, they represent us. They're our secret scars."
Adler kisses me again.
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