I woke up gasping in the middle of the night, with tears in my eyes and sweat all over my head.
The first thing I see it's the dark around me.
There's no red light, only dark.
I touch my bed, my wrists and my ankles.
I feel the soft blanket under my palm and not the fake skin of the stretcher.
I'm not in that room, I'm save.
The feeling of being tidied is still on my body.
I breath slowly, trying to calm my heart wich is beating so fast.
Was it real? Did they take me in my dorm after the injection? Did I pass out?
I take a moment to reflect but I jump on the conclusion it was-
It was a nightmare, only a fucking nightmare.
It's the second time I dream about that dark room.
The red room I saw in Kraus's house is so familiar to this one, but only for the light.
Are they connected in some way?
I lay down again and sweep away the sweat from my forehead.
I place an hand over my heart.
What's happened? Before going to bed I had a shower... How did I end up here?
Maybe I dreamed the shower too...
I touch my hair but they are wet.
So- I really had a shower!
What the... Is My memory still broken or am I going crazy?
I remember my mission, Volkov, the dinner with my squad, Hudson... Why I can't remember what happened next?
I watch the clock on my wall: the dark doesn't let me read it correctly. So I get up with the sensation of the dream on my body and I come closer to it.
It's two a.m. Too early to get up and have breakfast, the others will think I'm crazy but they will be right.
Who wants to wake up when he can sleep even for five minutes longer? Maybe Hudson, but this is another story.
I make the first step to go back to the bed but the television in the corner of my dorm turns on. The same television wich turned on the first day I woke up here from the surgery.
I jump from the fear and cover my mouth with my hand.
Fortunately I didn't scream and didn't wake up anybody, but now the one who's totally awake it's me.
There is no one in my room. This is not a joke.
I take the nerve and step forward, it's only a television and it can't hurt me right?
The screen shows what I have already seen in my nightmare: a war.
As the television turned on so it turns off.
Maybe I'm still dreaming, like a dream in another dream.
I check if the plug is in the electric socket but it's not, as I left it some days ago.
That's so strange.
How can I share those experiences with my squad? They're gonna think I'm a psycho or something. But I can't just ignore that, 'cause it's going to be worst.
My nightmare... It's only one and I keep dreaming it every night.
But this time it was different: my nightmare continued a little more.
The first time I only saw them very blurred and they only wanted to do an injection in my neck, the second time they wanted to do an injection in my eye and also asked me some informations.
Night by night, piece by piece I can find out if something happened or I'm just going crazy.
They can be some pieces of my story that I don't remember or only hallucinations.
I need to sleep now. We have a fly tomorrow.

But the sleep didn't come. I pass the following minutes staring at the ceiling.
There are too many thoughts in my head.
Why the televisions always turn on in my presence, showing a war? All those soldiers, explosions, choppers... This is the exactly thing I saw in my nightmare... Are they connected?
All those episodes begin when Arash shoted me. It's probably a trauma but I'm not very sure...
And why did Volov talk to me like a friend, like he has known me since a long time? He said tovarish... What does it mean?
I studied Russian a bit, but not that much.
I should ask to the others, or maybe not.
They don't know about my nightmares, about those strange events, like something important happened and I don't remember it.
Let's see if after some months my memories will come back. Only the time can help me.
I want to know what's going between me and Adler too. I'm sure I forgot a piece of our existence. But I can't ask him directly, it would be too awkward.
The shadows of my room start to be boring to stare at so I decide to go out of my dorm.
I put my feet on the cold floor and I shiver.
Only now I notice that I have a long mustard shirt on, too big for me.
It's so big that it covers my knees.
Wait- who dressed me? Did I put it on by myself?
I carefully step forward, trying to not bump into something.
I touch around: here's my bed, the wall...
"Almost." - I whisper.
I close the door behind me and climb the stairs to the main hall.
Everyone should be asleep, no one can see me, that would be so embarrassing.
The evidence board is illuminated by the moon out of the window.
There is already our next mission on it: Greenlight, Redlight.
Sounds interesting. I check out the map and follow with my finger all the roads that Adler has wrote.
I will go on mission with Woods, the others will extract us. I don't remember much about Woods, to be honest. I only remember he's okay and he likes bandanas.
I think this mission is more suitable for Mason and him. They're like brothers.
Or for Lazar and Park, so they can spend some time alone to know better each other.
She just entered in our team a couple of days ago but there is more feeling than I thought between then.
Or for me and... Adler. In the last mission we were unstoppable, we can watch our back. But alone we- don't make sense.
I wonder why he decided to send me there with Woods. We have something in common, that's true. Maybe he saw some potential.
I watch the place another time but there's nothing interesting.
Maybe I can go outside, but it's raining and I have no shoes on. Plus it's very cold.
The place is desert and I have no one to talk with.
I stare at the blue walls, at the Lazar's desk full of weapons which he loves to clean, at the Park's desk full of paper and documents, at the Adler's desk which is the cleanest and at the Sims' desk which is empty.
I sigh and decide to turn around and go back to sleep, but before I could do it, something catches my attention.
Is a low light between the dark. It's behind the Sims' desk, in a white room.
I recognize it because is where Adler talked on the phone.
They keep it always locked and I don't know why. Should I look in? Why not.
I work here too.
The first thing I notice, besides the desk full of documents, are some needles, packages of medications, a silver scotch tape, some bandages, a bottle of alcohol, some drips... I shiver inside my long shirt. That's strange.
What? Why should they keep this stuff?
And why there is scotch tape?
I hope they didn't torture anybody here.
Why lock this room if there's only some medications? They probably hide something in here.
I try to force the padlock but the door doesn't move.
"Figures."
Maybe I can broke a window but they'll notice that, plus it would be too loud.
I get closer and try to read the names of the yellow illustrations on the bottles.
"Let's see..."
Before I could read an hand leans on my left shoulder.
I hold my breath: someone is behind me.