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nulla. the letter







   Dear Jordan,

   First offI have to say that I love you and I miss you. I'm writing this the night of when we first took you to the Cullen's which means you have been gone for approximately ten hours. And I already miss you way too much. By the time you're reading this it could be three days since I last saw you. If Paul wasn't in such a sad mood he would tell me I'm being patheticbut he knows this time is a little more serious.

   I am so, so sorry. I never wanted to have to make this decision for you, but at the same time I couldn't imagine letting anybody else choose. You're a vampire now, and that is partially my doing. Carlisle told me after Victoria attacked you that I could either let you die, or let the venom do it's thing and you become a vampire. It's pretty obvious which I picked since you're reading this.

   I totally understand if you hate me, although it will kill me if you do. I wouldn't want it for myself, yet I couldn't let you go. You're only sixteen, with so much left to do and experience. You have always told me that life is to be lived to the fullest and I was trying to channel you when I chose to keep you turned. You can still live your life (forever technically) and do everything you wanted.

   And plus I couldn't let you die, J. Not like that. Not at the hands of a vengeful vampire. You don't deserve that. I need you and couldn't let it all end like that, which was why I chose to keep you alivesort of.

   Maybe it was selfish and wrong, and you'll end up hating me for making you this way. I hope you don't. You can get through this, I know you can and I will be rooting for you one hundred percent every damn day. You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can do this, it's you.

   I'm unsure what Carlisle has told you about the whole supernatural world. I presume he filled you in on a lot. You've also seen Edward by this point, since he promised me he would give you this letter. All is not as simple as we once thought, J. Vampires and wolves, crazy right? I'm so glad I don't have to lie about all the boys being wolves now. I have always sucked at lying, especially to you. It was only a matter of time before you found out. Now Jared can't tease me about being a big mouth.

   Make sure to text Mama and Dad. They think you're back in Ohio for your football scholarship and Carlisle says to keep it that way for as long as possible. Just text Mama and apologiseyou know her, she's freaking out about you leaving suddenly and not saying goodbye.

   I will be waiting to see you whenever Carlisle will let you and you feel ready. No pressure. I can wait as long as you need, and am just a phone call away if you ever need me. Embry promised me that he would check in with you occasionally to make sure all is well, I hope you don't mind.

   Once again, J, I am so sorry. I'm sorry that this all happened, that it was partly my fault and that it has to be like this. I believe in you and know you can pull through it all, no matter how hard it seems.

   But most importantlyI love you. I love you so much it hurts and I hope that I made the right decision. It's already eating me up inside. Good luck, from the bottom of my heart. I'll see you soon.

   Love from your womb mate, twin sister, and life long best friend,

   Alex.





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  it's starting!!!!

   y'all aren't ready

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