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It was cool and breezy up there on the picturesque hill that lay on the backdrop of Crawford Lane when Devon and I got there. It felt like being in totally different world which was bathed in heavenly peace and tranquility under the moonlit black velvety sky where stars glittered like diamonds.

I was wearing white leggings with an aquamarine sweatshirt and white sneakers. I left my hair untied and applied a bit of mascara to my eyes. Devon looked dashing in black pants which he paired with a black buttoned shirt, the sleeves of which were rolled up to his elbows.

It was hard to believe that I had sneaked out of the house at midnight to be with Devon of all people. After all, to name a few in the list, he was the boy who turned my life upside down, he went to jail, people got hospitalized because of him, the neighborhood hated him, Gran strongly disapproved of him.

And yet, I felt fiery butterflies invade every cell of my existence as I sat down on the grass with him. I knew his eyes were on me. I felt so damn conscious that I just wasn't able to look up at him. Right then, it got a bit windy which upset my hair.

I bet I was looking like a she demon. I was struggling to set my tresses when he spoke in a deep lost tone, "You become all the more angelic with your hair scattered like this."

My heart missed a beat and I could feel the crimson rising in my cheeks.

"You're so beautiful, Eleanor, that you make all the fairies, mermaids and princesses from fantasy books seem real to me."

"Devon, stop it!" I said like a silly lovesick teenager that I had become.

Devon let out a chuckle. "See? I too can talk good things like others. Just that I should be inspired enough."

"So...you're not mad at me anymore?"

"One thing the eight hour community service taught me today was to be less cruel. Thus, I've forgiven you for breaking my heart a couple of weeks back," he said in his usual cocky manner. "By the way, did you miss me while I wasn't around?"

My heart skipped a beat in despair 'cause I didn't have the guts to admit the truth to him. "N-No, I didn't."

Devon smirked, leaning closer to me causing a furor under my skin. "Liar, liar, Sanchez On Fire," he whispered deeply, his hot mouth was on my ear.

Holding firmly on to my trembling breaths, I turned my face sideways at him and our noses touched. The heat of his breaths was overwhelming to my senses.

"If you're strongly against people cheating on their partners, don't you think I was cheating on Luke every time I allowed you to get close?" I said, my voice sounding heavy against my ears.

"Our case was different. It wasn't what you'd called cheating," he said nonchalantly.

"Don't you think it's called you being a hypocrite?" I countered.

"No. It's called disagreeing with you," he said matter-of-factly.

My breaths hitched realized our lips were on the verge of colliding. Devon pulled back, the edges of his mouth curling into a lopsided smile.

"That was pretty close, wasn't it?" he said smugly.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Pretty close to annoying."

"Glad we started off our date with something that we do best. Ridiculing each other."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Eleanor.." he sounded anxious and gloomy, "I said a lot of things to you that day which I shouldn't have said. It was very wrong of me. I'm sorry."

"But everything you said about me was true," I said quietly. "I'm weak. It's a fact. Why did you ask me out knowing that?"

"Because you're amazing and I cannot stop liking you. I find both my chaos and my calm in you. You make life feel right to me," said Devon with conviction. "Besides, nobody is perfect. Infact my flaws are much worse," he added with a dry chuckle.

Neither of us spoke for a while after that. It was difficult to understand Devon no doubt. He pretended to be a very shallow person and wanted everyone to believe that what he showed on the outside was exactly what he was on the inside. But for all I knew Devon's thoughts and emotions were complicated and ran deeper than imaginable.

"Devon, can you promise me something?" I asked seriously.

"Depends."

"Can you promise that you'll drive carefully and stay out of trouble?"

"I don't know," he said bluntly.

I felt angry hearing that. "Can you at least promise to try?! Is it too much to ask?"

"No. It's too much to do."

I was just about to bite back—

"I'm sorry. I'm shit I know," he said remorsefully. "Guess I still have to get used to the fact that you care about me."

I looked away. I was so upset.

After a brief pause, Devon spoke again, "Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if one day I suddenly disappear forever? I don't expect anybody to miss me except you. Would you?"

I was taken aback hearing that. My stomach gave an unsettling lurch and I could feel my pulses get cold under my flesh.....

"What kind of a question is that?" I asked. "Are you trying to emotionally threaten me?"

"I'm not," he countered. "Didn't you hear the part where I mentioned 'hypothetically speaking' ?"

"Your father would definitely miss you," I said "I'm sure he would slip into a state of depression if you cut all ties from him and---"

"I'm asking about you, Eleanor," he said, looking at me intensely. "Would it make any difference to your life?"

"---Jackson loves you lots, you cannot deny atleast that," I continued. "He will cry himself to sleep everyday if you leave him."

"Jackson is a baby," said Devon quietly. "He'd miss me the first day, second day too but on the third day, I don't think so. He'd be back to normal. Twenty years later, if I happen to come across him, he wouldn't even recognise me. Heck, I doubt he'd even remember he had a brother. Half-brother."

The pain in his voice broke my heart too...but then again, his trail of thoughts was difficult to decipher.

"On a side note, it's not a wise thing to use a kid to dodge a question that's aimed at you," he spoke, "I know I come across to you as someone who has serious issues. But I am the way I am. Nothing can ever change me. But my feelings for you are real. And I cannot see you with anyone else than me."

I saw the fierce commitment in his eyes that any girl would want to see. And yet I didn't find the courage in me to reciprocate. I couldn't rise above my doubts and fears and express myself to him. I hate the fact that he was seeing uncertainty and mistrust in my eyes and I wasn't able to do anything about it.

"No pressures," he said, "I can't anyway boast of being the kind of guy who can be easily depended on. Moreover, you've recently come out of a terrible relationship so you would need time."

But that was not even the case. If he knew what Stef knew, I doubt he'd be here with me....

Right then, Devon rose to his feet. "I think we should leave now. It's too late."

It was a silent walk back to the Lane. I crossed my arms tighter as the night grew cooler while Devon had his hands stuffed inside his pockets. My heart was beating fast. Devon made silences feel sensual and seductive even without doing anything. I just wanted us to keep walking. I didn't want the road to end but sadly it end when we reached in the vicinity of our house.

My heart pounded incessantly when Devon stepped closer to me and cupped my face. The intensity of his dark flaming irises absorbed my senses. He brought his face closer to mine.

He was about to kiss me. I toned my hyper breaths down and closed my eyes, all ready to feel his exotic mouth on mine---

"Good night," Devon whispered against my forehead before kissing it. When I opened my eyes, he had already stepped back and there was a smile on his face.

A smile to die for.

I watched him turn around and walk towards his house. That was such an affectionate gesture. I was touched.

I knew letting Devon in was too dangerous for me. He was reckless. He was brutally unpredictable. Fear stabbed every inch of my being knowing that it was already too late. I had fallen so hard for him that the dark depths scared the shit out of me. There was no faking now. Everything was genuine. Which was what made it so painfully risky.

But there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. I was cornered. My feelings were staring at me with blinding intensity as though challenging me to deny them.

And I couldn't. I wanted Devon. I was powerless to resist him. With fear and insecurities infesting my soul, I was somehow ready. Ready to give myself away to him. I had surrendered to the worst consequences that could possibly take place without having any clue of how I'd protect myself from it....