CHAPTER NINE—
( It wasn't your fault. )

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There was an eerie silence the following week after Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and Agent Evelina Rose Parrish fell from the train. Everyone was mourning the loss differently. Some people would keep everything on the inside, not show their emotions and then silently cry themselves to sleep. Other people would drink and drink until they became drunk enough to not have any more emotions. Steve tried drinking but was completely unsuccessful. One of the side effects of the Super Soldier Serum.

Everyone held a service for Agent Parrish and Sergeant Barnes. They got tombstones put up in a graveyard close by, flowers surrounding it even though it was winter. They contacted their family in the hope of getting them to come to the ceremony, but none of them came. People figured that the Parrishs' wanted to mourn the loss of their daughter silently, with only close friends to comfort them. But James' parents had already passed on, and all that was left was his younger sister, Rebecca. She came to the service, completely heartbroken that she had lost her overprotective, loveable older brother. Her only surviving family member left.

After the death of his best friend and the love of his life, Howard Anthony Walter Stark became an alcoholic. He became MIA a week after Evelyn's death, but still managed to attend the funeral. He stood at the back, only half sober, watching as they placed two empty caskets into the ground. 'The least they could have done was try to find their damn bodies,' Howard thought to himself.

Peggy was the strong type. She was the one to not let her emotions show. So, throughout the day, she would act as a wall for everyone. Constantly making sure that her friends were alright, and comforting them when they weren't. Then, when she went to bed at night, she would let all of her pent-up tears fall onto her pillow. She had lost one of her best friends, the only other woman to ever really get her.

Steve Rogers had lost two people that day. His long-term best friend and the woman he fell in love with. He was let off for the week. He didn't come onto the base but still attended their funerals. He would try to get drunk, but quickly found out he couldn't. So, instead, he continued drinking and began to think back to the memories he had shared between the two people he loved most. When he first met Bucky when young Steve was getting bullied, up until the time when James left for Europe.

Then he thought back to Evelyn. The tough, gorgeous woman he had the pleasure of meeting. He knew he instantly liked her from the moment he met her, watching her punch Hodge in the nose. He thought about how far they had come. Her being there with him throughout his procedure, working together in the field and her constantly saving his life, only for him to not be able to do it in return. He should have told her how he felt before it was too late. Steve had been meaning to tell Evelyn for a while that he was in love with her, but had been too shy to say so.

Everyone was silently mourning the loss of two great people.

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Steve spent the last few days trying to drown himself in alcohol. He sat down on a little chair in the blown-up Stork Club, a bottle of alcohol in his hand. He looked towards the beaten-up dance floor and pictured Evelyn twirling herself around in her blue dress, smiling happily and enjoying the moment. Steve twirled the drink as he heard footsteps approaching. He turned to look at who was coming and saw Agent Carter a few feet away.

He turned back around. Steve let out a few more sniffles before, once again, filling up his drink. "Dr Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means I can't get drunk." Steve fidgeted with the glass of alcohol in his hands before taking another sip. "Did you know that?"

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person," Peggy picked up a barstool and set it out next to Steve. "He thought it could be one of the side effects." Steve looked down at his drink as Peggy took a seat. "It wasn't your fault."

"Did you read the report?" Steve asked.

"Yes."

"Then you know that's not true."

"You did everything you could. You couldn't stop what happened to Evelyn and James," Peggy said. "Did you believe in your friend? In Evelyn? Did you respect them?" Steve didn't reply, and Peggy took that as his answer. "Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes and Eve the dignity of their choice. They damn well must have thought you were worth it."

"There was this one time, after my mother's death...I got in over my head. Bucky came in and pulled me out, just like he always did, and the one time he needed me to return the favour, I couldn't," Steve looked down.

"I doubt it's that simple," Peggy said.

"All I had to do was hold on," Steve said. "I loved them, Peggy."

"And I loved Evelyn," Peggy looked down. "She was the only person who ever really got me, who had just as much trouble trying to get into the force. We got along so well, as the men misjudged us."

"I never thought I would fall for Evelyn," Steve admitted. "But I guess you can't change that." After a few seconds of silence, Steve changed the subject. "I'm going after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop until all of HYDRA is dead or captured."

Peggy sat there, thinking about the decision he was making. She smiled lightly at him. "You won't be alone."

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"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bughouse. He thinks he's a god and he's willing to blow up half the world to prove it, starting with the USA," Colonel Phillips pointed at the map of America. There was a meeting being held at the underground base. Everyone had a serious motive to stop Schmidt, now. He just made it personal.

"Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities," Howard spoke up, continuing to look down, swirling around the glass of alcohol in his hand. Everyone turned to him, surprised that he spoke up. He hadn't said anything for the past week. "He gets across the Atlantic, he will wipe out the entire Eastern Seaboard in an hour."

"How much time we got?" Gabe Jones spoke up.

"According to my new best friend, under 24 hours," Colonel Phillips said, referring to Zola.

"Where is he now?"

"HYDRA's last base is here," Colonel Phillips pointed at a photo. "In the Alps, 500 feet below the surface." He threw down the photos onto the table so everyone could pass them around to have a look.

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Dum-Dum asked.

"I mean, it's not like we can just knock on the front door," Jim said.

"Why not?" Steve asked. Everyone turned to him, giving him the are-you-serious face. "That's exactly what we're going to do."

Within the next forty-eight hours, HYDRA was destroyed. The Red Skull was killed, HYDRA was blown up, and not long after, the Nazis surrendered and the World War finished. Unfortunately, to get rid of and destroy HYDRAS's secret weapon, Steve Rogers had to sacrifice himself and crash the jet that contained it into the iced ground. America lost its greatest soldier, and the Howling Commandoes lost their greatest friends.