~ ☼ ~

I really wished I had music to listen to. Maybe that would make all of this easier.

After Sisyphus died, there was a rush of activity. Older campers and counselors had finally made it downstairs to ask what was happening. Alec had disappeared to comfort Will, who was on the verge of a panic attack. He hadn't looked twice at me after what had happened. He hadn't looked at anybody. It annoyed me greatly, because he had to know - he had to know I didn't judge him.

But it wasn't in his head. As what happened spread around, I saw more and more suspicious looks. A few campers even went into the infirmary - non Apollo cabin campers, I'll add - like they didn't trust Alec to do the job.

I understood why he had been so angry.

Aria was feeling out of place now too, with her only anchor to this world being me, Riley, and Mr. Demi-Titan himself. I couldn't believe her former cabin mates weren't coming to talk to her, but then again, Kiera had been her only friend. And not a lot of Cabin 11 kids were left on our side, anyway.

We were sitting there, making small talk and trying to figure out where Riley had been (really, we were just avoiding talking about Alec's powers) when Chiron came over. He had been inspecting the damage that the fallen chandelier had caused. I felt like we were in the Phantom of the Opera.

"AJ," he said, nodding as he trotted over. "Riley, Aria."

"Hi, Chiron," we all said, a third polite, a third anxious, and third dead inside.

It was weird to see him acknowledge the other two girls, like seeing your teacher outside of school. Either way, his focus was not on any of us - rather, it was on Hemmings.

"Your pegasus is rather hungry," he said. "And he doesn't want to be here."

Immediately, I jumped up and pet Hemmings, to show I cared. "I didn't know that."

"Wait," Riley said. "Chiron, you can talk to horses. Ask Hemmings where he took me."

Chiron looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

It was then that Riley realized she had not told him about her misadventure. If it were me, I wouldn't want to tell him at all, and Aria looked equally uncomfortable, but Riley was a camper through-and-through. She briefly explained what had happened; by the end of it, Chiron was scratching his chin.

"I did not know this," he said. "Did you tell Annabeth?"

"Yes," Riley said.

I wished Kiera was there, so she could've said, Why? Aren't you supposed to be in charge? I was thinking it, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Hemmings," Chiron said, turning towards the pegasus. "Where was Riley?"

Hemmings said nothing, and Chiron sighed.

"Hemmy," I murmured. "Come on."

"How about: where did my memories go?"

This time, Hemmings let out a breath, and Chiron nodded sagely. "I see. He says your memories didn't go anywhere. When he found you, you were asleep."

Riley's face went wane. "Okay? So?"

"So you were asleep the whole time," I said. "You never had any memories of the day taken from you. Maybe you were knocked out and he brought you back. What's the last thing you remember?"

Riley held up a finger to her mouth in a very Chiron-like manner. "Being on his back on the way here."

Chiron gestured to say, there you go. But I wasn't having a bar of it.

"That makes no sense," I said. "Because why were you gone for so long?"

"Yeah," Aria said. "I agree. Because if something did knock you out, you wouldn't have survived on the streets once you were knocked out - unless Hemmings rescued you immediately. So where were you that whole time, sleeping?"

We all looked at Hemmings, but he just pulled back, then trotted away, his golden wings kept close to his body. I wanted to scream. Just like his mother.

"Well," Chiron said. "Perhaps he simply took you somewhere where you could rest. Either way-"

"Wait, I remember something else-" Riley took a deep breath. "I remember running towards the bridge, then - gods. I think I was attacked by a monster. And Hemmings rescued me."

"That's exactly what I said!" I snapped.

Rather than responding to my attitude with more attitude, Riley just looked at me and said, sardonically, "Well, maybe you're psychic, too."

I sighed.

"My point is that you are right, AJ," she added. "And if Hemmings took me somewhere... took me somewhere to rest... then it had to have been the dryads."

"The dryads?" Chiron asked.

He looked at me, somehow knowing it was my story to tell. I wanted to wither away.

Aria tucked her arms around me; maybe it was a show of comfort, maybe it was to prove to Chiron that she still had friends at camp. Either way, I appreciated it.

"Yesterday evening, when we were all on Olympus, I fell off-" I started.

Chiron actually gasped, which made me feel like maybe I wasn't so bad after all.

"What?" he asked. "Why didn't I hear about this?"

"I wasn't there!" Riley said, quickly. "And obviously, neither was Aria."

"Where were you?" Chiron asked.

"I was with the rest of the group," Riley lied, understandably. "It was just her and-"

Then she paused. There was Alec, standing there, waiting for a moment to sit down with us. He'd come in just as Riley was about to expose his secret-keeping. His secret keeping which I - I hadn't even thought of. Riley's lying, now that I remembered it more, wasn't understandable. She might not have been there when I fell, but she still knew I'd fallen. And instead of, I don't know, recovering my body? They'd both just kept it to themselves.

I felt cold all over.

Alec noticed, even from afar. We met eyes, and his mouth parted, but he didn't have time to defend himself. Chiron turned towards him, genuinely flabbergasted.

"You were there," Alec said, quickly, immediately throwing Riley under the bus. "We both knew about it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Chiron asked. "Or someone."

"What were you going to do?" Alec asked. "Who was gonna heal her? Last I checked, Will and I are the head medics, and last I checked, neither of us can bring someone back to life."

His voice cracked. I went colder, looking at my shoes. Aria clutched her arms tighter around me, trying to help, but it just made me feel suffocated now. I wanted to jump to my feet - wanted to run outside and find Theia. At least I knew I was never going to get the straight truth with her.

"It's not about healing her," Chiron said, slowly, quietly - perhaps taken aback by Alec's tone. "It's about telling her friends that she was gone. So we could burn a shroud - and people wouldn't be looking for her."

I doubted anybody had. Then again, Lucky had been so happy to see me, and Will had, too. Kris, the girl I'd met for the first time while I was up there; the Stoll brothers; maybe all of them had wondered where I'd gone. But Riley had left too, so they'd probably just figured I'd gone off with her.

"I went missing and nobody told you, either," Riley said, her voice weak. "So."

She was right. There was no getting around that. You could defend one side or another, but the truth was clear. All of us were cowards. I hated myself and I was pretty damn mad at them, too.

It was crazy, but for the second time that day, I wished Kiera was there. Because she would understand my angst, and not be afraid to show it. It wouldn't come out all at once like this. I would've known where I stood with her, and her with me, rather than this... this awkward, freezing cold mess.

Like she could feel me thinking of her star-crossed BFF, Aria pulled away from me. Sighed.

Chiron had said nothing, but now he said, "Well. I'm disappointed in all of you. For not coming to me. We can only win this war if we fight as a legion. Perhaps Hemmings feels the same way."

When none of us said anything, he sighed too, then trotted away. I'd never gotten to finish my story - never gotten to explain to him that Hemmings had saved me, though I assumed he'd figured that out. never gotten to explain how American Elm had taken me in, and probably taken Riley in, too. Except Riley hadn't woken up like I had, so I guess Hemmings had given up and brought her back, only for her to wake up at the worst possible time.

It was all a guess, but it made the most sense. The revelation was ash on my tongue. I think I would've rather it'd been something more dramatic. Maybe it would've helped me make it up to Riley.

Now all I could think was that none of us actually cared about each other. They didn't care enough to let anybody know I'd died, and I didn't care enough to chase Riley down. Or maybe it was just the latter. Maybe the problem was just me.

Suddenly, there was a din. The Hephaestus Cabin had come back, Jake Mason immediately gasping at the chandelier sitting on the floor in the middle of the lobby. Behind them, the Hunters were covered in blood and sweat, plopping down. Aria watched them from afar, and I felt her grief. That they didn't notice she was gone, either, and if they did, they didn't care enough to come get her. That she'd lost the one person who would always notice. I swore that, for her at least, I always would. I wanted to hug her, but I didn't.

"They're gathering for the battle tonight," Alec said, his voice impressively neutral. "Percy's gonna lead everyone."

I didn't meet his eyes, but I could feel them on the back of my head.

"Who are they battling?" Riley asked, her own voice hollow.

Alec swallowed.

"Hyperion," he said.

If there was any warmth left between the four of us, it was drained just then.

I remembered that, of course, but it brought into focus just why everyone was side-eying Alec's powers. I wanted to pull my legs up to my chest and cry.

"That's why Percy's leading it," Alec added, after a moment. "His water powers will probably help put out the light."

I turned to look at him, finally, but it was too late. He was turning away.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm going back to the infirmary," he said. "Whoever decided to put a 12 year old in charge of a cabin is freaking crazy."

"It was probably Chiron," Aria said. "Why didn't he do one of you guys? Or - one of your other siblings?"

"Because Will's the best healer," Alec said. Then he walked away, no more explanation, no more small talk. Aria seemed to deflate a little, like she was looking forward to ragging on Chiron and was disappointed she wouldn't get to now. It was almost enough to make me feel like this was a normal moment.

"What do we do?" I asked, quietly.

Aria sighed. Riley's eyes were on the ground.

"I'll go join back up with the Hunters," she said. "I guess we have to work as a legion."

She made no movement to comfort me again, which is how I understood that she probably judged me as much as I judged my friends. She sighed, adjusting the quiver on her back, then went off to join her peers. That left my sister and I. My real, blooded sister and I. Sisters fought, didn't they? Sisters generally didn't leave people to their deaths, though.

"Come on," Riley said, after a moment. "We'll go see Annabeth. She'll have a place for us in the legion."

Back to child soldiers we went.

~ ☼ ~

Annabeth did not have a place for us in the legion. It quickly became clear that she was still sick, and I think she was waiting for Percy, who I guess was still charging up his powers like he was an electric car. I hadn't noticed it earlier, but she was hardly using her right arm. That must've been where she was stabbed. It made me, again, want to hug her, which is how you know I was totally off-kilter.

Annabeth passed us off to Malcolm and the other head counselors, who informed everyone not in the Athena cabin that it was most likely we weren't going to be participating in the battle in Central Park. Instead, we'd be with each of our cabins, defending different entrances to the city. Maybe that's what Michael had been doing on the bridge.

"You lost 3 people on the bridge," Malcolm Pace informed us. "And you have one still injured and three on medic duty. That will leave only 5 of you to defend the 59th Street Bridge. Can you manage?"

I had a feeling this was a rhetorical question.

If my math was mathing, those 5 were me, Riley, Lucky, Kayla, and Austin. Lucky could not wield a weapon to save her life, her main Apollo trait being confidence and panache, so it was really just four of us. I wanted to cry.

Malcolm nodded, like I'd answered in the affirmative. "Good. Take your pegasus; he'll help."

"Where the frick is the 59th Street Bridge?" Lucky asked, appearing beside us, suddenly.

"Somewhere near here," I said. "Between the Upper East Side and Queens."

I realized as I said this that Austin and Kayla were now here, too. And since I was the only one who was both over the age of 15 and knew the geography of New York... I was the de facto leader. Malcolm had already disappeared, and the other sections of our legions were heading off to get dressed in armor or sharpen their weapons. My only weapon, still, was Alec's dagger. Since it'd been so long since he'd held it, it was no longer warm, and I didn't know how to wield it, anyway.

Suddenly the world was spinny. If I'd had Liakada, maybe we could've done it - after all, I'd single-handedly made it into the armory. The thought made me feel better, but didn't help right now. Right now, all I had was a knife.

"Malcolm," I said, because I didn't know who else to ask. "wait."

He turned around, ears pricking up at my words, then came back over. "Yes?"

"Do we have other weapons?" I asked. "To borrow."

"I don't think so," Malcolm said. "You should've brought one from camp."

He walked away before I could explode.

"The Ares cabin is probably hoarding them back at Camp," said Lucky, glumly.

"You have a knife," Austin pointed out.

"It's not mine," I said. It wasn't even really Alec's.

I literally thought I was gonna throw up. The more I thought about it, the more I saw the reality of death. I'd never known anybody to die before this. Then it was Lucas and Kiera, Lee and Michael and Matt and Aaron. It could be me. Before I ever saw my parents again, it could be me.

"How long do we have?" I asked.

"I think a while," Kayla said. "Will said all the counselors are waiting on Percy's command."

"Okay," I said. "Does anybody have a drachma?"

The words were quiet when I said them. I regretted the commitment as I made it, but it was too late; Kayla was already handing me one. She looked so young. I wonder if she had even made it out of middle school.

I really did not have the energy to talk to my parents.

"I'm going to go IM my parents," I said. "I'd recommend you guys do the same."

Then I walked away, trying not to think about the fact that - that I was probably the only one in that group that had two parents to IM.

I felt so overwhelmed that as I steered towards the bathroom and saw some Aphrodite boys hanging out by the door, rather than just pushing past them, I hooked a corner. I decided to go back up to Alec and I's room. To my surprise, when I opened the door, I heard his voice.

"I'll be fine," he said, not hearing me enter the suite. It seemed like his voice was coming from the bathroom, which made me realize with a start that -

That he'd had the same idea as me.

"Yeah, we're having a lot of fun!" he said. I could hear the fake smile on his face, and it was the first time I realized how similar it was to his normal smile. "We've all come into the city to... see a show. Probably Wicked."

That was the one my parents had gone to see after dropping me off at his house.

He laughed. "Yeah, that one. It's just a prequel to the Wizard of Oz, Grandma. It's not satanic."

I had to hold back a snicker.

"Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun." Now there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. "We'll go on the Roosevelt Island Tramway too. I promise."

There was muffled talking from his grandparents' end, then Alec gave the requisite I love yous. As he finished, a feeling of dread came over me. I hadn't moved from the spot I was in by the door, and if I left now, he'd hear me-

"Oh," he said, hollowly. "Hi."

"Hi," I said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

He looked sick, hardly giving me a response as he sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "You're okay."

I stared at him, stuck between talking it out with him - HORRIFYING THOUGHT - and going to do my business. Then I remembered why exactly we were being so awkward. Him kissing me and acting like it'd never happened; him watching me fall then not telling anyone. And convincing me to stay here rather than go find Riley. Angst boiled up in me like a cauldron. For the first time in my life, that fear that was always in the back of my mind, that obvious understanding that nobody really loved having me around, was at the forefront. And it made me sick. I'd taken for granted that it was true without really thinking about what it meant.

I swallowed. "I'm - uh, I'm gonna go IM my parents."

I ran into the bathroom before he could say anything. For some reason, I wished he would've followed me.

The bathroom was still steamy from his previous use of it. I turned on the golden faucet and let the hot water form a cloud, then threw Lucky's drachma in. It'd been a while since I'd last IM'd someone; I hoped I didn't mess it up.

"Oh Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow, please show me Laura and Kenny Hood in Highland Falls, New York."

Then I crossed my fingers, simultaneously hoping Iris wasn't too busy on the battlefield and that she was, because we needed all the help we could get.

Either way, a moment later, the steam started to show an image, reflecting like a rainbow on a prism. There were my parents, in the backyard, gardening. Mom was on her knees, pulling out weeds. She nearly jumped at the sight of me.

"AJ!" she exclaimed. "Where are you?"

She sounded more confused than concerned. Of course she did; she didn't know I was at war.

Dad, overhearing, came over to stand behind her. "AJ! Where are you?"

Mom glared at him. "That's what I just said."

The idea of a normal August in the Hudson Valley both terrified and enthralled me. I swallowed, then said, "I'm at the Plaza. Like, Eloise at the Plaza-Plaza."

They both gasped, Mom immediately smiling. Now came the moment of truth. Did I lie to them like Alec had lied to his grandparents? Or did I tell them the truth? Which would help them more if I died?

I can't tell you why I did it. Maybe I just needed to get the truth out to someone. But, in a rush of words, I said, "We're going to war."

Both of them were silent. They didn't believe me.

"You're... going to war?" Mom echoed. "Like, a Color War?"

"No, Mom. Like a real war. Outside of camp, against the Titans."

They didn't understand what exactly this meant. Rather than being horrified, they were just super worried. Mom looked back at Dad, panicked, while Dad knelt down. "What do you mean, a real war? Do you need us to come down and get you?"

"We'll come down and get you," Mom reiterated. "Here, Ken, go get the keys-"

She started to get to her feet, but I quickly said, "No! No, you can't come get me. You - you have to stay out of the city. Kronos is marching on Manhattan. We have to take care of it."

With the name of a titan, it was like it finally fully clicked in Mom's mind. After all, she knew the gods. She knew that my real dad was not some random stranger, but Apollo. She had to be expecting it might one day lead to this. But I hadn't told them anything about the Titan War leading up to this. I felt bad I was suddenly springing it on them. They'd thought I was just playing Capture the Flag and learning ancient Greek the whole summer.

(Even those, I struggled with, considering we hadn't played CTF consistently this whole summer, and I never paid attention in Greek lessons. Blame Alec distracting me by making faces the whole time.)

"I don't understand," Mom said, her voice shaky. Dad was completely silent. I wondered if he ever thought about my real dad.

I wanted to crumple into a ball.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm so sorry. I- I'm gonna be fine. I just wanted to talk to you-"

"We're coming to get you," Mom decided, getting to her feet once again.

"Mom, no!" I exclaimed. "You won't be able to get here!"

But she was already walking away. I didn't know what to do. I just stared at Dad, who stared back at me. Both of them had blue eyes, and I'd always wondered how I'd ended up with hazel. Still, I felt like we had the same mannerisms. Our stares were the same.

He closed his gaping jaw. "Stay safe, kiddo. We love you. We'll be right there."

"No!"

But the IM was already fading as he walked away, too. I had to wonder if we were allowed to have phones if they would've kept me on the line, like they were 911 operators sending out the cops. Cops that were woefully unprepared.

As the image disappeared, I swear the ground fell out from underneath me. By the time they got here, maybe I'd already be dead. But worse, maybe they'd walk in on Manhattan and fall asleep like all the other people in the city, and in the battle, when they couldn't defend themselves...

I fell to my knees.

I couldn't lose them, too. Couldn't lose my anchor to normality. Couldn't lose the two people who had always let me fool around and never dedicate myself, who'd never yelled at myself for watching TV all day, who hadn't thought twice about letting me go to Camp. Who'd dragged me to State Parks for years and taught me to not be afraid of the woods. I wouldn't have found Camp in the first place without them.

"AJ?"

I turned to see Alec standing in the door frame of the bathroom, looking distressed at my distress. Before I could say yes or no, he was on the floor with me, wrapping his lanky arms around me. And even though a part of that just made me hurt worse, I couldn't push him away. I cried into his Camp shirt until they came and told us it was time to go.

~ ☼ ~

A/N: I am having so much fun writing this <3 I never expected this to be this long (I honestly didn't expect to ever finish the second book in this series, much less get to this one at all) so I'm loving every moment I get with it. We'll have to see together how it ends :)