~ ☼ ~

Alec and I decided to go walking across the camp, a big loop that would take us past the stables, the armory, and more. We still had 2 hours until curfew, but I had a feeling that patrol would be more lax right now. You'd think it'd be the other way, but based on everyone being distracted...

After all, last summer, four of us had slipped away, and only two others had noticed.

"So," said Alec, shoving his hands in his pocket. "Lacey!"

"Lacey," I echoed. "Lacey Gonzaga. Have you ever met her before?"

"I think I've seen her around," he said. "But no, she's definitely not a major player."

I sighed. None of us ever were.

"Well, we had a great conversation." I briefly recapped our conversation, which wasn't very hard because it was super short. By the end, Alec was nodding like he understood perfectly.

"Got it," he said. "So, long story short, you're both grieving the same person. But she was too detached, and you ran away from her."

I frowned at him. "You're a medic, Alec, not a therapist."

He chuckled. "I'm sorry," he said. "I completely understand. I'm just saying that maybe you should've asked her about Lucas."

I'd thought of that in the moment. It made the most sense, but ultimately I didn't want to talk to anybody, ever, about Lucas. Maybe Aria. But even that was a reach.

Talking about him with Alec and Riley was different, because they didn't know him. I think Alec thought of this at the same time, because I saw his face soften. He reached out and squeezed my shoulder, then said, "Sorry. I'm not trying to attack you."

"I know," I said, sighing. "But you're right. I should've."

"How are you feeling about it?"

"Same as last time you asked," I said. "Meh."

I stuck my hands in my sweatshirt, too, feeling for the gum wrappers inside. I'd brought this same sweatshirt to camp last year, and the gum was magic stuff the Demeter cabin had cooked up. It was kind of like Wonka's fancy gum, except it didn't turn you into a giant blueberry.

"Well," Alec said, "I promised you a cheer-up session, so I'm not gonna fail you. I have a surprise for you."

I narrowed my eyes. "I'm sorry?"

We'd reached the stables, a.k.a. possibly Chiron's house. Here, they housed the pegasi. I'd always liked the idea of the pegasi, because they just screamed Camp Half-Blood to me. Their central location on the shirts Alec and I were currently wearing probably helped that status.

"Follow me," Alec said.

He opened the door to the stables, and I followed him inside.

It smelled like you would expect a stable to smell like. I, of course, couldn't help but think back to the rooster horses and Aria's ability to talk to equines.. but I pushed it out of my mind as best I could. It wasn't hard when the smells of hay, horse dung, and sugar cubes were flooding my mind.

I sniffed. "You're surprising me with this?"

Alec chuckled. "Dang, not even impressed by pegasi. You're a tough crowd."

I scoffed. "Alec, the pegasi have always been here, and always will be."

"This one hasn't."

He stopped at the last stable, where a golden pegasus was. Every other pegasus had been eating or hanging out, but this pegasus was sleeping standing up. I immediately felt a connection it.

"His name is Hemmings," Alec said.

"Like Sally Hemings?"

"I hope not," Alec said, making a face. "I think it's more like the car magazine."

I shook my head. "That's the stupidest name for a pegasus I've ever heard."

"Hey, that one-" he pointed to a white one across the aisle, who was sniffing his own dung - "is named Poker."

"Who the Hades named them?"

"I have no idea. They fled from the Princess Andromeda," said Alec. Then, his voice going low, he added, "That's where Luke was."

Right. Once,  that had been the Titan Army's main headquarters, which meant they probably had a lot of monsters on board.

"And they landed here?"

Alec nodded. "I guess so. Maybe they knew they'd be safe here, or something."

I shivered. I would've gone free - I wouldn't have brought myself here, to be restrained forever.

I looked at Hemmings, admiring how beautiful of a creature it was. Its wings were tucked close to its sides in its sleep, but I imagined when they were at their full width, they were huge.

"Where'd you find all this out?" I asked.

"I came by earlier and Katie told me all about it." he said. "A bunch of different kids were talking about it. The Stolls were really interested, thought they could use them for some sort of prank."

I always forgot how connected to the rest of camp he was. I knew other people, but he was liked by everyone. That happened when people associated you with pain relief, I guess.

Then I shivered at the thought of a prank involving the pegasi, because I could only only imagine one way that would go.

"Don't worry," Alec added with a chuckle. "Katie won't let Travis do something too stupid."

I smiled. "I'd be nervous to know where she draws the line."

"Well, whatever happens, Hemmings won't be a part of it. I actually talked to her and the other people taking care of them about it, and since war is coming and all that stuff..." He shrugged. "They're trying to get every pegasus to be claimed by a demigod. To help with the war. And I asked her if you and I could co-own Hemmings, and she said yes."

I gasped. Loudly. Then I almost cried.

"He's ours?" I asked.

Alec nodded, smiling. Smiles fit him perfectly, the same way being thoughtful fit Lucas; even if he wasn't a son of Apollo, I'd always thought Alec looked like pure sunshine. He ran a hand through his golden brown hair, and added, "If it's too much work, I'm sure someone else can do it instead."

"No!" I said quickly. "No, Alec, I love it. I love him!" Then I looked at the horse more carefully. "Her?"

Alec looked at me. Then he bent down and looked at Hemmings.

"Alec!" I hissed.

"Him," He said decisively. He stood back up. "AJ, I wanna be a doctor. If I'm afraid of animal parts, I'll never be good with people."

I winced at the idea of Alec doing surgery. Then I said, "I really don't think you have to worry about that. You're already medic extraordinaire."

"Yeah." He chuckled... then his face lost all expression.

I knew, instantly, that he was remembering that his father was no longer the god of healers.

"ANY-way!" he said suddenly, clapping a hand on the post of the stable. "Hemmings, you are now our pet."

I smiled. Hemmings was a beautiful creature, even if he did smell like dung and hadn't once opened his eyes to look at us. I reached out my hand to pet behind its ears, and even still he didn't move once. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing.

"Is he alive?" I asked.

"He's alive," Alec said. "Just lazy, like his mom."

I punched him in the arm and he laughed. The laugh, I think, fit him even better than the smile. The smile was all Riley's, but the laugh was definitely Alec's. I'm not sure where that left me.

-

Night had fully fallen by the time we left the stables. The sky above us was completely dark, and stars were scattered everywhere. That was one of my favorite parts of camp - that you could see so many stars, despite being so close to the city.

"There's the big dipper!" I pointed out to Alec, as we stopped in the middle of a wide, grassy field, near the arena. I could hear swords clashing against each other even now.

"There's the little dipper!" exclaimed Alec, with the same enthusiasm. Then, after a moment, he said, "I don't know any other ones."

I laughed. "I don't, either."

We stood there for another long moment, trying to find other constellations we might know. Just as I was about to suggest just coming up with our own, because I didn't like the person who decided on half the constellations, anyway (Who's that, you might ask? think: 4 letters, starts with Z), Alec said, "I can't believe I don't know any other ones."

"Not a true Greek," I said disapprovingly. "Maybe we should have an observatory."

I saw a light on Alec's face at this. "That's such a good idea."

I stopped looking at the sky to look at him, instead. "It is, isn't it?"

He nodded. "Honestly, why don't we have one? It fits just as well as having stables or an arts and crafts pavilion does. Stargazing's a perfect summer camp activity, and the Greeks were as big on academics as they were war."

I shivered, ostensibly because it was night, but mostly at the thought of both academics and war. I didn't know which one was scarier. Maybe I wasn't the true Greek.

Yeah, AJ, I thought. We established that when you ran away the moment you got here.

That seemed so far away now, but I guess some things never changed.

Alec was looking around, like he was trying to figure out where to place the observatory. I followed his gaze, then landed on what seemed like the perfect place: up beyond the climbing wall, right by the water. The land got higher there without it being a full forested hill like Half-Blood Hill, plus I thought an observatory on the beach was a very nice image.

"Up behind the Climbing Wall," I said to my not-brother. "You know, where that little hill is?"

Alec's eyes widened. "That's literally perfect."

"I know!" I said. "And we could have a huge telescope, and all those old-timey astronomy thingamabobs. And, I don't know, a shrine to the god of stars. Is there a god of stars?"

Now Alec's eyes narrowed. "There's a goddess of the moon..."

I almost punched him in the arm again. "I am aware of that, Alec."

"Really? I had no idea," Alec said dryly. "Hm. Hecate? She's the goddess of night, I think."

I shook my head. "Isn't she, like..."

I trailed off, but what I meant was obvious: not on our side.

Alec swallowed, then nodded. "Yeah. But that's the thing, she's the only god I know of. Everyone else are titans."

"Are there multiple titans of stars?"

"Yep. Asteria, Astraeus, Krios..." when he saw the look I was giving him, he blushed. "I've tried to do some research. You know, because of the dreams."

Right. I guess he was a step ahead of me in that regard; I had just shrugged and left it up to fate to decide whether or not I'd ever know who the woman was. I guess I'd figured one day she would tell me. Now I wasn't sure.

"And you never had any luck?" I asked, even though the answer was obvious. Alec shook his head, kicking a random rock with his Vans.

"Nope," he said. "I can't tell for the life of me. "

"Shoot," I said.

"Yeah," he said.

Then we both stood there for a moment, quiet once again. With the stars up ahead, I could imagine, maybe, that there was nothing awkward to be found in the moment. But I felt awkward anyway. I didn't know what to do with my hands, even with them stuffed in my pockets. I kicked a rock, too.

Then Alec said, "I'm really scared, AJ."

I looked at him in surprise, but his tan face was tilted towards the sky. His eyes were big on the stars, like he was hoping he'd find the answers up there.

"I am too," I said. Admitting it felt good, but it also felt like I was putting something into the world I didn't want to acknowledge. There was this part of me that almost wanted to pretend I'd lost Lucas and Kiera to a car accident, or something. Something that would make me feel normal.

Alec scratched his hand. "It's hard being the medic."

"I can imagine." I swallowed. He had given me horror stories of his treating campers during the battles of last summer, but he hadn't gone into the existential part of it yet. Seeing your friends get hurt over and over again. Knowing your parents were doing nothing to help.

"I don't know if I can keep doing it."

I had to restrain my gasp. "What?"

"I don't know if I want to stay a medic," he said, sighing. "I want to - I want to learn to fight."

I stared at him, not knowing how to take this.

This had to be connected to Hyperion - there was no way it wasn't. He'd always been fine being a medic before, but now... now suddenly it was too much for him?

"But you'll be risking your own life," I told him, biting my lip. "Isn't that worse?"

"No," he said, "I won't have to grieve myself."

This made me frown. Then I said, "That's selfish."

"I know."

"I'll have to grieve you," I said. "And Riley."

He looked at me gravely, but said nothing. For a long, uncomfortable minute, we just stared at each other. Then he held out a hand.

I looked at it, not wanting to make a joke but unable to think of anything beyond Lacey's businessman workings. Was this Alec's attempt at doing the same to lighten the mood?

No - his face was serious.

"Shake my hand, AJ," he said.

So, slowly, I shook his hand. "What are we agreeing on?"

"To have each other's back," he said. "To make sure that doesn't happen."

I let go of him as he said this, but the feeling of his hand remained in mine like a phantom pain. Like Lucas' lips on mine.

"I told you," I said. "I'll never leave you again."

"Swear it."

"I swear on the River Styx, Alec," I said. I meant it without a doubt in my mind. "It's you, Riley, and I. Til the end."

Alec seemed satisfied with this; only now did he smile. "Hopefully that's not for a while."

I gave him a look, because I hated joking about something so macabre. Once, I'd been okay with it, but after last summer...

"Sorry," he said. "I'm... not trying to be insensitive."

"I know," I said, swallowing. "Gallows humor."

But gallows humor had never been Alec's thing before, it had been mine. In fact, I think I'd even received a few disapproving stares from both him and Riley before because of it. Something felt wrong in him committing it, like a pegasus without its wings. A child of Apollo without their sunshine.

~ ☼ ~

A/N: So it goes 🏴󠁴󠁧󠁭󠁿 he can't keep his wild eyes on the road 👀 takes me home 🏠 lights are off he's taking off his coat 🧥 

That's what I'm listening to rn I love that song

Somebody pls read this fanfic I feel like I'm in solitary confinement T_T