UNEDITED...

DENISE

Nasa loob ng silid ko si Prius. Tapos na rin kaming mag-dinner. It was already midnight and this was the time to talk. Bumalik kami kanina para maglaro ng couple quests namin pero nag-log out din kami. Nakaupo ako sa gilid ng kama at nakahalukipkip. Marami akong gustong itanong sa kanya. Nakatingin lang siya sa 'kin at nakaupo sa sofa. He was wearing a white hoodie. Medyo magulo ang buhok niya. His lips were pressed into a tight line and he was looking at me intently. It seems that he was suppressing his smile. Pero kitang-kita sa mga mata niya ang pagkaaliw habang nakatingin sa 'kin. Naghihintay siya na magtanong ako. Nakakatunaw ang tingin niya. I managed to not look away and avoid his gaze. Ayokong isipin niya na naaapektuhan ako ng mga tingin niya.

Damn his bright eyes for taking my breath away! I heaved a deep sigh to control my breathing. To control my heart that was beating so fast. If only I could stop my heart from beating, for sure I'd be dead by now.

"My brother know you? Bakit hindi kita matandaan? Nagkita na ba tayo dati?" tanong ko sa kanya. Marami kaming dapat pag-usapan pero ito muna ang gusto kong linawin. He smirked. I hate to admit it but he's gorgeous when he do that. As if he was trying to put me under his spell. A very dangerous at the same time wonderful spell. Maybe a sinful one too.

"You saw me when you were eight. It was summer. I was in the neighborhood. Adik kayo ng kuya mo sa paglalaro ng computer games. Lagi kayong naglalaban. Hindi ka tumitigil hangga't hindi mo siya natatalo. You can't easily accept defeat. You always want to be the best," he said and laughed. Namula ang mukha ko. I was really stubborn when I was a kid. And he's right. Hindi ko pinapaalis si kuya sa harap ng computer niya hangga't hindi ko siya natatalo. Hindi ko pa rin siya natatalo hanggang ngayon. I'm no match for him.

"Naging magkaibigan kami ni Darren. Madalas niyayaya niya akong maglaro ng basketball and some computer games too. He always tells me that you suck in computer games. He wants a new rival. Inimbitahan niya ako sa bahay ninyo. Nasa harap ka lang ng computer. You're solving a puzzle game. You were so cute back then. Your cheeks were fluffy and you're always pouting in front of your computer. You're not losing your focus. Nakakunot ang noo mo at magkasalubong ang kilay mo. Hindi mo nga pinansin ang pagdating namin. Ipinapakilala ka na sa 'kin ni Darren pero hindi mo pa rin ako tinitingnan. Sinabi mo pa sa kanya na huwag siyang maingay dahil busy ka at hindi mo ma-solve ang puzzle. Sinabi niya sa 'yo na wala ka ng pag-asa at hindi mo siya pinansin," he said. He was smiling big as if he could still remember the little me and the past clearly. I blushed. Parang gusto ko na siyang patigilin sa pagkukwento. It was a blur in my mind. Hindi ko maalala nang malinaw. But I felt that it really did happen.

"Tapos umalis muna si Darren dahil kukuha raw siya ng meryenda. Hindi mo pa rin ako tinitingnan. Napansin ko na parang hirap na hirap ka sa puzzle. Lumapit na ako at tinulungan kita. Saka mo pa lang ako pinansin nung na-solve ko ang puzzle. Hindi ka natuwa. Nagalit ka pa dahil tinulungan kita at sumimangot ka sa 'kin," he grinned.

"Hinamon mo pa ako na maglaro ng computer games. And Darren was right nang sabihin niya na hindi mo pinapatayo ang mga kalaban mo hangga't hindi mo natatalo. Hindi mo ko tinatawag sa pangalan ko dahil hindi mo natatandaan o ayaw mo lang talaga. You're calling me with different names. Tapos natatawa na lang ako kapag nakakatulog ka na sa harap ng computer mo habang naglalaro tayo. Binubuhat ka na lang ng kuya mo para dalhin ka sa kwarto mo," sabi niya at hindi na niya napigilan ang tumawa. Mas lalo akong namula. I wanted to stop him but I remained silent. Surprisingly, I want to hear it all from his perspective. I want to know what he was thinking about me back then.

"Ilang araw na ang nakalipas, hindi mo pa rin ako natatalo. Then my parents decided to move to another city for the nth time. I told you and you get mad. Sinabi mo na hindi ako pwedeng umalis hangga't hindi mo ako natatalo. I thought you're insane that time. And then it was the first time that you called me by my name. I don't know what exactly I felt that time. I just know that I was happy when you say my name for the first time. I really want to hear you say my name. I told you to call me by my name again but you never did. Hindi mo pa rin ako natalo sa huling laro natin. And I left without saying a word. I hate goodbyes. And you forgot about me after that," he said and frowned. As if he was hurt.

Nang maging malinaw sa 'kin ang lahat, saka ko pa lang naalala. I really did forget about him. Sinabi ko sa kuya ko na huwag ng banggitin ang pangalan ni Prius kahit kailan. Isang buwan lang din kaming nagkakilala kaya siguro madali kong nakalimutan. Hindi man lang siya nagpaalam nang umalis siya and I hate it.

I was not calling him by his name on purpose. Nahihiya ako at namumula kapag sinusubukan ko. He was too adorable and I had a little crush on him that time. I was calling him with different names to hide my embarassment and my feeling. Para hindi ako mahiya kapag kausap siya. And I know he's a little pissed when I called him with different names. Hindi tuloy niya napapansin na crush ko siya. Pero ang nakakatuwa, hindi siya nagreklamo. Tahimik lang siya. I looked away asking myself if I still hate him until now. If I still hate that boy I used to play with. Ayaw ko mang aminin, isa siya sa mga hinahangaan ko pagdating sa mga computer games maliban kay Kuya. He's really smart and I can't beat him like my brother.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked when he noticed that I fell silent. 

Umiling ako. "It's a child game. I'm stubborn back then," I answered. And it's the truth. Hindi na ako galit sa kanya ngayon. I'm glad that I'm able to see him again. He hasn't changed. He was still adorable and gorgeous like in the past. Mas naging antipatiko nga lang siya.

"And you didn't change. You're still stubborn until now," he said and laughed. Tiningnan ko siya nang masama at tinaasan ng kilay. Pinupuri ko na siya sa isip ko pero ito lang ang sasabihin niya sa 'kin.

"Do I need to be flattered? Let's drop this subject, alright? Now, I want to know why you're working for my brother? Ano'ng binabalak ninyo?" kunot-noong tanong ko sa kanya. My brother is an intelligence officer. Lahat ng ginagawa niya ay confidential. Kung iniimbestigahan niya ang mga nangyayari rito, tiyak na may hindi magandang nangyayari. May ginagawa bang illegal ang organisasyon? Bigla akong kinabahan. Hindi sasayangin ni Kuya ang oras niya kung wala.

Natahimik siya at biglang sumeryoso. "Hindi ko rin alam. He didn't gave me the full details. Sinabi lang niya sa 'kin na kailangan niya ang system data program ng laro para ma-analyze niya. Someone tipped that this organization is up to something. Hindi niya sinabi sa 'kin kung ano basta alam kong hindi maganda. He just told me that this organization is dangerous. I agreed to his proposal without questioning him and I provided what he needed," he answered. "I never asked him. If you really want the full details, si Darren lang ang makakasagot sa mga tanong mo," he added. I admired that he trusted my brother this much.

I sighed. "Hindi ko na siya tatanungin, alam naman niya ang ginagawa niya," she said and frowned. May tiwala rin ako kay Kuya. He can solve whatever he was doing. Bigla kong naalala si Frey. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I silently cursed.

"Frey said something to me. He felt that he was controlled inside the game. Na parang wala siya sa sarili niya. Sa tingin mo ba ito ang iniimbestigahan ni Kuya Darren? I want to finish this game as soon as possible. We need to get out of here. Baka mamaya, lahat na tayo ay kontrolin ng organisasyon," I said. I gaped. I had this horrified look in my face when I realized what might happen. Napaawang din ang labi ni Prius at napalunok nang sunud-sunod. What if the organization really planned to control us? Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. This time, Prius is not the reason why I felt this way. Puno ng kaba ang dibdib ko. Ilang beses akong huminga ng malalim para kalmahin ang sarili ko. I don't want to jump to conclusion.

"Maybe that's it! If that really happens, I don't know how to stop them," nag-aalalang sabi niya. He looked at me with worry. "Ano pa ang sinabi niya sa 'yo?" he asked. Inisip ko lahat ng pinag-usapan namin ni Frey. Bigla akong natigilan nang maalala ko ang mga balak niyang gawin. Pakiramdam ko, tumigil ang mundo ko.

Nanlalaki ang mga mata na tumitig ako kay Prius. Napalunok ako. "I'm not sure yet but he said that he will investigate. He will sneak inside the headquarters," nanghihinang saad ko. Maging si Prius ay nagulat. Wala sa sariling kinuha ang black hood ko na nakapatong sa kama ko. "We need to check him in his room," nagmamadaling saad ko. Lalong lumakas ang pagtibok ng puso ko dahil sa kaba at takot. I hoped it's not too late to stop. Sana hindi pa huli ang lahat.

"I need to call your brother and some of his friends," seryosong saad ni Prius. Sinundan niya agad ako nang lumabas ako sa silid ko. Maagang nag-log out si Frey. Mabuti na lang naiisipan pa niyang mag-log out. Siguro may oras lang kung kailan siya kinokontrol ng organisasyon. Nang makarating kami sa silid niya, kumatok ako nang malakas. Walang sumasagot. I can't check his room. It's locked. Bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. I called his phone, but it was just ringing. At naririnig ko ang tunog ng cellphone niya mula sa loob ng silid niya. We waited for minutes and minutes but no one opened the door. No one picked the phone. Pakiramdam ko, gumuho ang mundo ko. Nagpa-panic na ang utak ko. Hindi na ako makapag-isip pa nang tama.

"Kailangan nating pumunta sa headquarters! Paano kung mahuli siya?" nag-aalalang tanong ko kay Prius. May kausap si Prius sa phone. The way he spoke I can tell that it was my brother. He was asking my brother to back us up and to take care of the security cameras. My brother already checked Frey's location and I was right that he already sneaked inside the headquarters. Nang natapos ang usapan, seryosong tumingin sa 'kin si Prius.

"I can't bring you with me. It's dangerous," he said.

Tiningnan ko siya nang masama. Gumana ang pagiging matigas ng ulo ko. "You can't stop me! I'm coming with you," I snarled. Nauna na akong maglakad patungo sa elevator. Nagmamadali ang mga yabag ko at ipinapakita ko talaga sa kanya na hindi niya ako mapipigilan. Buo na ang desisyon ko.

"Dei!" naiinis na sabi niya. He grapped my arm and pulled me to face him. Napapagod na tiningnan ko siya. "Please, I need to see him. I can't stand here waiting for you and Frey to return. My heart can't take it. It will kill me," nagmamakaawang sabi ko sa kanya. He was frustrated too. Nagdadalawang-isip kung ano ba ang dapat gawin. Mariin niyang ipinikit ang mga mata at mariing kinagat ang labi. Nahihirapan siyang magdesisyon. Hindi na niya matukoy kung ano ang tamang gawin. Hindi na niya alam kung makikinig ba siya sa 'kin.

He looked at me with worry. Nahihirapang nagsalita siya. "Fine. But don't do something reckless. Hindi dapat tayo mahuli. Darren will give us the directions," he finally said. Alam kong hindi pa man kami nakakapunta sa headquarters ay nagsisisi na siya sa pagpayag niya. His face said it all. Alam kong pinagsisisihan na niya ang mga sinabi niya ngayon pa lang.But I'm still grateful so I nodded and thanked him. Nagmamadali kaming sumakay sa elevator. We acted normal as much as possible. Sumakay kami sa taxi. Prius knew the driver. Nakasumbrero ito at hindi nagsasalita. Tila alam na niya kung saan kami pupunta dahil hindi na niya hinintay ang sasabihin ni Prius. Dumaan muna ito sa ibang isla bago tumuloy sa Headquarters. Malayo sa likod ng building niya kami tumigil. Itinaas ko ang hood ko upang bahagyang matakpan ang mukha ko. Maging si Prius ay ganun din ang ginawa.

"I'll wait here," the driver said. I gaped when I realized that she's a girl. Hindi na ako nakapag-react pa dahil nagmamadali na kaming lumabas ni Prius. Maingat na naglakad kami. May pinto sa likod ng building. An exit. Madaling araw na kaya siguro masyadong tahimik. Nakabibingi ang katahimikan at kalaliman ng gabi. I was so nervous, I think I'm going to die. My heart's beating so fast, I might have a heart attack anytime soon. Mas tumindi ang kabang nararamdaman ko.

Marahang hinawakan ni Prius ang nanlalamig kong mga kamay. He gazed at me as if he's telling me that I don't have to be afraid. That everything's gonna be alright. At sa oras na 'yon, hiniling ko na sana ganu'n nga kadali ang lahat. I nodded at him and squeezed his hand back.

"Just keep quiet and act normal. Your brother already hacked the security cameras. Alam na rin niya kung nasaan si Frey," he said. He put an wireless earpiece on my ear. I could clearly hear my brother's voice. He was telling us where to go. Kung saan walang taong dumadaan. May isa pang earpiece sa tainga ni Prius. Seryosong-seryoso ang mukha niya habang nakatingin sa 'kin. Tila gusto na niyang umatras dahil kasama niya ako. Hinawakan niya nang mahigpit ang kamay ko na tila humuhugot siya ng lakas mula rito.

"Okay," sagot ko na lang para hindi na magbago pa ang isip niya.

"Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo Dei," reklamo ni Kuya Darren. Humaba ang nguso ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

"I know. Tell us where Frey is, so we can go back now," I hissed. Wala na akong oras upang makinig pa sa sermon niya.

"Ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko?" he sighed. "Mas maaga mo sanang sinabi kay Prius ang plano ng kaibigan mo. Hindi sana humantong sa ganito," mahinang sabi niya.

"Good. I'm glad we still have the time to fight. Mukhang hindi pa nanganganib ang buhay ni Frey," sarkastikong wika ko. Naiisip ko pa lang ang itsura ng kuya ko, alam kong nakasimangot na siya.

"Actually, we don't have much time," he said and laughed without any humor on it. "Pumasok kayo sa pintuang nakikita ninyo sa likod ng building. That's a fire exit. It's the safest way. Pumunta kayo sa second floor. May storage room sa kanan ng hagdan. May mga lab gown, face masks at ibang equipments. I saw Frey. He used those things also to slip inside the headquarters. I had checked the video footages earlier but I already delete it on their system. Mahirap na kapag nahuli siya. Right now, I'm checking their security room. Mabuti na lang nag-break ang nagbabantay kaya hindi nila napansin si Frey," he explained. I sighed in relief. Mabuti na lang hindi pa siya nahuhuli.

"The problem is Frey needs a security badge to enter the rooms. I don't know what he used. Maybe he snatched it from a staff," he said. "Right now, he was freely surveying the whole place. He's a smart one but reckless. But I commend him for his bravery," he said.

Nakikinig lang kami sa sinasabi niya. Ipinagdadasal ko naman na sana hindi mahuli si Frey. Dumaan kami sa pinto ng fire exit. At dumiretso sa storage room na sinabi ni kuya. Ibinaba ko ang hood ko. Mabilis kong isinuot ang lab gown, white gloves at face mask. Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Prius.

"Remember. Stick with me. Don't get too far away. As much as possible, act normally," seryosong paalala ni Prius sa 'kin. I nodded. Wala akong balak ipahamak ang isa man sa 'min.

"I will hack the passwords of some security badges. I'll unlock the doors for you," my brother said. I really do admire my brother for being so brilliant. Kahit kailan talaga hindi ko siya mapapantayan. But I'm proud that I'm his little sister.

"Thank you so much," I said and meant it. Ito lang ang masasabi ko sa kanya ngayon. Masyadong maraming tumatakbo sa isip ko lalo na sa natuklasan namin kanina. I can't say anything anymore. The facts I discovered already made me speechless.

"It's still too early to thank me. Hindi pa kayo nakakalabas nang buhay sa headquarters," natatawang sabi niya pero alam ko ring nag-aalala siya. Nang lumabas kami sa storage room, sinubukan naming umakto nang normal. Magkasabay kaming naglalakad ni Prius. May mga nakakasalubong kami pero wala silang pakialam. Siguro hindi naman nila kilala lahat ng empleyado sa building na ito. Napansin ko na hi-tech ang mga kagamitan sa building. The doors were automatically opening for us. May mga malalaking screens sa bawat silid kapag nagkakaroon ako ng pagkakataon na sumulyap sa mga malalaking glass windows at pintong bumubukas. Bigla akong natakot dahil may mga nakita akong pinto na may face scanner at body scanner. Siguro masyadong confidental ang mga nasa loob ng mga silid na 'yon.

"He was in the fifth floor right now. Just head on the elevator normally," my brother instructed. Hindi pa rin tumigil ang pagkabog ng puso ko. Namamawis na rin ang mga kamay ko. Parang gusto na ring manlambot ng mga tuhod ko. Hindi ko na alam kung hanggang ano'ng oras pa ang itatagal ko. Tahimik ang lugar. Marami sa mga nadadaanan namin ay secured rooms. It seems what they're doing inside are meant to be a secret forever.

Sumakay kami sa elevator. May mga nakasabay pa kami. Wala sa sarili na mahigpit akong humawak sa kamay ni Prius. Alam kong naramdaman niya ang kaba at takot ko. Marahan niyang pinisil ang kamay ko. We headed towards the room that my brother told us. Nasa loob nito si Frey. Hindi lang alam ni Kuya kung ano ang nangyayari sa loob dahil wala ng camera roon katulad ng ibang rooms. Only the hallways were installed with security cameras.

My brother unlocked the door for us even though we don't have a security badge. "Just tell me if I need to open it again. I don't know what's happening inside. I can't trace any security cameras. Be careful. Ikaw na ang bahala kay Dei, Prius," he said with worry. I could sense that he didn't want to involve me. And right now, I'm sure that he was regretting that he allowed me to join the ranking quest.

Sumimangot ako. Wala ba siyang tiwala sa 'kin? We entered the room. Maraming tao sa loob. They all wore laboratory gowns and masks. May mga microscopes. Hindi specimens ang tinitingnan nila roon kundi mga microchips. Tila sinusuri nila. May mga gamit akong nakita na hindi pamilyar sa 'kin. Marami sila kaya hindi na nila kami napapansin. They were too busy. Malawak ang silid at may kahabaan. Nakasisilaw ang liwanag sa buong silid. Inilibot ko ang mga mata upang hanapin si Frey. Naglakad kami ni Prius. Maingat upang hindi mapunta sa 'min ang mga atensiyon ng mga tao sa loob.

Kahit bahagyang natatakpan ang mukha ni Frey, nakilala ko siya agad. He was staring at that big screen. May mga tao rin na nanonood doon na tila pinag-aaralan ang mga nakikita nila. I gasped. I could clearly see our characters in the screen. Lahat ng ginagawa namin. Frey was closed to them. But not too closed. He was maintaining his distance to avoid being noticed. Naiintindihan ko ang mga lenggwahe at pinag-uusapan nila. Alam kong naiintindihan din ito ni Frey. I could clearly see the horrified look in Frey's eyes. Maging si Prius ay napalunok rin. Maging ako man ay napasinghap. Pakiramdam ko ay gusto kong magwala dahil sa galit. I felt betrayed. We were betrayed.

We really didn't come here as testers for the game. We were their guinea pigs all along. We were being experimented. I don't know how but I'm sure they're trying to control humans. Ramdam ko ang pamumutla ko. Pinag-uusapan nila na hindi pa perpekto ang ginagawa nilang eksperimento. May hawak na chip ang isang lalaki sa kamay niya. They're talking about the current use of it. May nawawala pa sa microchip na 'yon at hindi pa nila alam kung ano. Hindi nila ito mabuo.

Napaurong si Frey. He kept his posture straight. He kept calm. Nakikita ko sa screen si Fire. He was their first subject. Marami pa akong characters na nakita pero hindi pamilyar sa 'kin. Ang ilan sa kanila ay nagwawala at hindi nakakayanan ang ginagawang pagkontrol sa isip nila. They were accidentally attacking their co-players that's why some of them ended up in jail. Ang ilan naman ay tumatakas. Dahan-dahang tumalikod si Frey at naglakad palayo. He went straight to the door. Pinigilan ko siya at hinawakan sa braso. Nagulat siya at napasinghap dahil akala niya nahuli na siya.

"It's me," I whispered to calm him down. He looked at me. His eyes were broken. Halo-halong emosyon ang nakikita ko. Fear. Anger. Confusion. "Let's go," sabi ko pa. He nodded but I could feel that he suddenly trembled. He was trying to pull himself together and tried not to break down.

Ginamit niya ang nakuha niyang badge para makalabas sa silid na 'yon. Nagmamadali kaming tatlo nina Prius. Walang nagsasalita sa 'min. Pakiramdam ko gusto kong masuka sa lugar na 'yon. Gusto kong magsalita ng kung anu-ano pero hindi ko magawa. Nanunuyo ang lalamunan ko. Natatakot ako sa nangyayari sa 'min lalo na para kay Frey. Hindi na kami nag-elevator. We headed towards the fire exit. Five floors were not enough to make us exhausted because we're already tired before we took the stairs. It's not enough to wear us down because we're already weary.

Naririnig ko sa linya si Kuya Darren pero hindi namin siya pinapansin. Marami siyang tanong pero hindi namin siya sinasagot. Pakiramdam ko, naubos lahat ng lakas ko. Habol namin ang hininga nang makalabas kami sa likod ng building. Hindi kami tumakbo pero parang nauubusan kami ng hininga. Hawak ko pa rin si Frey nang hilahin ko siya patungo sa taxi na naghihintay sa 'min. Doon na namin hinubad ang lab gowns na suot namin. Sa front seat umupo si Prius.

"Are you okay?" nag-aalangang tanong ko kay Frey. Hindi ko inaalis ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was staring on his face worriedly. His eyes were glittering with tears. It's full of worry and uncertainty.

"You know I'm not," wala sa sariling sagot niya. Mahina ang boses niya. Nangingingig. Hindi ko na rin napigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. Natatakot din ako. Paano kung sa 'kin naman mangyari ito? It's scary as hell. Parang gustong manginig ng buong katawan ko.

I silently pulled him closer and hugged him. I can't find the right words to say because everything's not right. Kung sino man ang taong nakaisip nito ay nababaliw na. He was a freak! A fucking freak! Niyakap ako ni Frey pabalik. Mahigpit. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang takot at pangamba niya. Maging ang bahagyang panginginig ng katawan niya. His muscles were tensed and stiffed. Marahan kong hinaplos ang likod niya. Sana sa pamamagitan nito ay mapakalma ko siya.

"We will find a way to stop this," mahinang saad ko. I don't know how to comfort him. Hindi ko alam. Hindi siya nagsalita. Tahimik lang siya. I was hurting for him. Damn! We should stop playing!

"Leigh, keep these laboratory gowns. I'll need it again," matigas at seryosong wika ni Prius. "Let's head back."

~~~

Naiinis na sinundan ko si Prius sa silid niya. Walang babala na pumasok ako sa loob ng silid niya. I was frustrated and angry. Sinabi niya kay Frey na ipagpatuloy nito ang paglalaro at huwag magpahalata na may alam. He wanted Frey to act normal when everything was not. I slammed his door shut.

"Why did you say that to Frey? As if you're telling him to be their guinea pig, voluntarily? Bakit hindi siya pwedeng tumigil sa paglalaro? It's the right thing to do!" naiinis na saad ko.

"Because if he stopped playing, if we stopped playing, they will know that we know something! At hindi maganda 'yon! Baka mas lalo tayong mapahamak! Baka hindi na tayo makaalis dito kahit kailan! We don't know what they're capable of! The safest thing to do is play!" naiinis na sabi ni Prius. Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko na alam ang tama.

"But I can't act normal when the organization is slowly breaking him down. I can't kept silent. I can't..." saad ko at tiningnan siya nang masama. "How could you pretend that it's normal? Maybe because you're not concern about him! Siguro dahil hindi mo naman siya kaibigan kaya wala kang pakialam sa kanya!" pag-aakusa ko sa kanya. Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtaas ng boses ko. Gusto kong bawiin lahat ng sinabi ko pero huli na ang lahat.

Tiningnan niya ako nang masama ay umiling. Alam kong nagalit siya sa sinabi ko. "Fuck! You know what? Kung pwede lang akong makipagpalit sa posisyon ni Frey para hindi ka magalit at mag-alala nang ganyan, ginawa ko na! I'm sure you will not care about me. You will not care if it's slowly killing or breaking me. You will not be enraged with the thought, right? You will not act like this! So please, don't speak like I didn't care! But right now, I hate it that I'm helpless. That I can't help your friend. That I can see that you're hurt too and I can't do anything but wait. I have to wait for your brother until he figures everything up!" galit na wika niya. Tinitingnan niya ako na parang hindi na rin niya alam ang gagawin niya.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. He's wrong. "I don't want for anyone to take Frey's position. I don't want anyone to suffer anything like that! Kahit sino pa man ang nasa kalagayan ni Frey, ganito pa rin ang mararamdaman ko. If ever you took up his place, I will still be like this! I will still care! I will still stop you from playing!" naiinis na saad ko. Tears were streaming down my face. I don't want to imagine him being controlled by the organization.

"Please...." nahihirapang sabi niya. He walked towards me and cupped my face. Pinahid niya ang luha ko. "Please, don't cry. I told you, we will figure everything out. We will find a way. Kailangan lang nating maghintay. Hindi pwedeng mahalata ng organization na may alam tayo. It will be risky. Kailangan lang nating magpanggap na hawak pa rin nila tayo," he said gently. "Please understand."

"Let's tell the authorities. Baka may magawa sila," nahihirapang wika ko. I was doing my best to stop crying.

"We can't unless we have strong evidences," he sighed. Patuloy lang niyang pinapahid ang mga luha sa pisngi ko. "I hate it when you're crying like this."

Mariin na ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at napasigok. I really can't help it. Hindi ko na alam ang iisipin ko.

"Please... Dei... Makinig ka sa 'kin," he said. I shook my head. He's still calm and I hate it. Ayaw kong tumingin sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko, sasang-ayon ako sa gusto niya kapag ginawa ko 'yon. Hindi dahil nagmamatigas ako, pero dahil hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko. Naninikip na ang dibdib ko.

"Please listen to me..." he whispered. I could feel his warm and sweet breath on my face. He was too closed. My heart began to beat fast. "Please..." he said again.

"No..." mariing wika ko. Hindi pa rin tumigil ang luha ko sa pagtulo. Hindi ko pa rin iminumulat ang mga mata. Hindi ko siya tinitingnan. Bumuntong-hininga siya na parang hindi na rin alam ang gagawin sa 'kin.

I shivered when he kissed the tip of my nose. Wala sa sariling napahawak ako nang mahigpit sa braso niya. I fought the urge to kiss him. No. Not again. Not now. I'm not thinking straight. His breathing became unsteady. It was heavy.

I slowly opened my eyes. He was still looking at me intently as slightly he pulled away. He gave me a reassuring smile. "I will not let anyone suffer. We will save them. Our sacrifices will not be in vain so don't cry again. It's breaking my heart. If I can take away all the pains and worries in your heart, I will. But it's impossible," he sincerely said.

"W-Why will you?" nagtatakang tanong ko sa kanya. I was trying to search the answers in his eyes.

"Because... I..." he sighed as if he's now ready to let it all go. As if he's now ready to let me know. "I love you, Dei. I really do," seryosong saad niya. My heart tighten. Mas lalong nanikip ang dibdib ko at bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. I bet it's going to burst open.

"But it's not the right time for this confession. I will wait. Maybe after this game, let's start over again. Fresh and clean," he chuckled. Pakiramdam ko may bikig sa lalamunan ko. Hindi ako makapagsalita. My mouth was gaping at him. I don't know what to say. He really did love me? Or maybe I'm just dreaming?

"Don't gape at me like that. It's urging me to kiss you," he teased. I blushed. But maybe we could try this once. Maybe we could really kissed and finally I could wake up. Damn! My heart won't stop from beating fast! Without a word, I pulled him closer and kissed him. It's not like our kisses in the game. This was sweeter and real. He moaned. Hindi niya inaasahan ang ginawa ko. He held me gently and pulled me even closer. I moaned when he slid his tongue and I gladly allowed him. The silence in the room was unbearable, I can't help but moan. Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal. We pulled away when we were out of breath. And I'm sure I'm flushing red. He looked at me, questioning.

"What's that for?" he asked. Expecting. I blushed even more. I don't know.

"N-Nothing," nauutal na saad ko. Nagmamadaling lumabas ako sa silid niya. Fuck! What did I just do? Now, I'm really awake. Fully awake.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

Wahaha.. Nag-update ako. Hindi dahil naabot ninyo ung comments pero dahil trip ko lang haha... In the first place, alam ko naman na imposible. hahaha. Hindi ko sure kung may update ako sa sabado. Depende sa mood ko. Pinag-iisipan ko rin kung paano ko pagkakasyahin ang lahat sa 8 chapters.. wahahah. Thanks pala sa comments. It helped me clear my mind. Natatawa ako sa speculations ninyo kay Rage. Hahaha!