The next day, Glen and I headed for E Ops. Actually, we were just heading for the rendezvous point. John was in no way going to give us the address to the Ether Operations headquarters.

I grumbled under my breath. The air was hot. Dust kept blowing in my face. There were no sounds except for the continuous quiet. "I hate these secrets."

"Yeah...secrets...are the worst. Boy." Glen's eyes nervously darted around the barrenlandscape. He seemed to sweat more than normal.

"Richter kept things from me. Sandy kept secrets. Watermark is definitely keeping secrets. Lizzy kept secrets. Even my parents kept secrets. It's like you're the only one not keeping things from me."

Glen laughed nervously. He dabbed at his forehead like a guilty felon. "Yeah... whew... secrets... bad."

A tumbleweed smacked my leg. I kicked at it. It took a couple tries but it finally departed. "Maybe we should take a page from their playbook. Keep our own secret."

Glen gulped slightly. "Like what?"

"I'll play along with Watermark for now, but I'm doing my own investigation. I bet they already know what happened to my dad; they just want me. As soon as I find out what happened, I'm gone. I'll figure out some way to disappear, just like my dad, and I'll be free of all these secrets once and for all."

A black van pulled up.

"That's not unsettling," said Glen.

The side door opened. The soldier pointed at Glen. "He stays here. Watermark's orders."

"But," I said.

"Watermark's...orders," he repeated more forcefully.

"It's okay," said Glen. "Didn't really want to see some secret government base where they're keeping every mythical and legendary being in history." He pointed his thumb back towards Neo-Geo. "I've got like tons of work to catch up on."

"If you're sure..." I said.

"Shut up and get in the van," said the soldier.

"Can I at least say good-bye?"

"You'll see him later. Which is more than my cousin can say. Now get in the van."

I got in the van.

***

"Alright, you wimpy maggots! This is when we separate the boys from the men!" yelled Sergeant Smoller.

After entering the nondescript black van, I was bagged and taken somewhere. The ride to E Ops HQ seemed needlessly long as we backtracked and circled and everything else. I think we went over the same train tracks five times.

The building itself was dark and cold. It was made of steel and by that I mean the walls looked like they were made of steel: no wallpaper or posters—just nothing. Everything had that stripped to the bare minimum look. Rows of endless bleak halls with low lighting stretched everywhere you went. I think they used 10 watt bulbs.

The so-called training room wasn't much better. It looked like a white box. There were no lines on the floor, no basketball hoops, no stage, but it still had that school gym feel to it: hopeless and oppressive. The lights here, like everywhere else, buzzed and hummed with a disorientating repetitive pattern. The lights flickered like they threatened to shut off, but I soon realized they had a pattern too.

"Journeyman!" bellowed Smoller. "Am I boring you?"

"Not really."

He got right up in my face. "Did I ask you to speak?"

"Actually...you did."

He repeatedly poked me in the chest. "Listen up, son; I don't take to back talk. You will speak only when I say. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did I tell you to speak?!" This time I didn't say anything. "Answer me when I'm speaking to you! Did I ask you to speak?"

"Yes, S—"

"I did not tell you to speak!!"

They weren't kidding: training was tough and I hadn't even started yet.

"First things first, maggots." Smoller paced looking like an eagle ready to strike. "Weapons. You namby pamby weaklings will need protection. It's a big, bad world in here and you'll need to survive." In here? I thought.

Another soldier passed out pistols.

"These are the P42 plasma pistol. So named because it can fire 42 rounds of plasma bolts before needing to recharge. Right now the safety's on so there is no way you can accidently dis—"

PEW!

I fumbled with the pistol as Smoller removed his hat and stuck a finger through the hole. His face began to turn red. "Journeyman!"

***

Smoller continued to lecture while I completed another round of 50 push-ups. "To be an agent means being part of a team. To that end, punishment must be given for breaking the rules." He glared my way. I laid flat on the ground, trying to catch my breath. What did I do? Not my fault someone didn't put the safety back on. Finally, I am able to stand again. "For a team to succeed they must trust the person next to them. Journeyman!!"

My hands went up in surrender. "I didn't do it!"

The rest of the recruits snickered.

"You're first. For this exercise, you'll work with Timmy. He will be blindfolded and you will guide him safely through the obstacle course."

Smoller snapped his fingers. With a foom, geysers of flames erupted from the floor. Buzzing blades popped up through the floor and walls. Electrified mechanical arms snapped at us.

"Pass?" I said.

Timmy gulped. "Can I pass too?"

"NO!" bellowed Smoller and we nearly fell over.

***

Ten minutes later...

Timmy screamed. The doctors continued adding gauze. Nurses checked his vitals.

"Don't be such a baby!" said Smoller. "You're eyebrows and skin will grow back!"

I shouted, "Sorry, Timmy!" before the doors closed.

Smoller turned to me. "You have to be the worst agent in the history of worst agents."

"Does that mean I can leave?"

"NO!" His veins were getting dangerously close to bursting. "I will see you become the best agent we have even if it takes the rest of your life! Now, get back to the training room. I have a 'special' exercise in mind."

***

Smoller moved through the group of recruits like someone playing Duck, Duck, Goose. "These specialized gloves come from the planet Whee *click* bob *keee* na-ta. They allow you to create balls of pure energy." I noticed everyone had one but me. Something told me I was the "goose" and I was about to be cooked. "You're goal is to hit Mister Journeyman. His goal is not to be hit. Believe me, it hurts."

"This seems oddly close to dodge ball," I said.

"Who do you think invented it? They were a cruel and demented race." Smoller's grin expanded to impossible lengths. "Begin in five, four..." The others powered up their gloves. Spheres of orange and white energy formed.

Smoller blew the whistle.

Twenty balls of fiery energy rocketed towards me like missiles. I hit the ground. The balls flew over me. "Whew," I said and stood. The recruits already created more. This time they were smarter; they only threw a few. I jumped and sucked in my gut, allowing the sphere to shoot by me. I ran as another smashed near me. Two aimed at my feet. I just barely managed to jump over them. I looked like a shooting gallery cutout as I ducked, jumped, and twisted while clouds of orange and white exploded around me.

"This one's for Timmy!" shouted one. She chucked the ball full force towards my head. I reacted in the only way I knew how...

"I caught it?!" I laughed as the orange and white sphere bubbled and hummed in my hands. It then got louder. The sound turned to a high-pitched whine. "Oh-no."

PEW-OOM!!

The world became orange and white. Everything spun around like I was in a laundry dryer. I felt weightless for a moment...and then I wasn't. I smacked into something.

When I opened my eyes, I saw my body lying at a weird angle near the wall. I sighed. (The blast knocked me out, thus sending me to the Astral Plane.)

"Since I'm here, I might as well begin my investigation."

I stepped through the wall and into the next room.