Chapter 44
The cold water wraps around him. His heavy body sinks deeper, and his mind goes completely blank. He can't breathe. Even so, Takemichi stays surprisingly calm - so calm that it startles even himself. After all, this isn't the first time he's stood on the edge between life and death. He really feels like someone who's lived through several lifetimes. Death doesn't scare him anymore. Not really. That's why he's able to gamble his life so easily.
A blurry figure comes into view as his vision fades. He feels a hand gripping his tightly...
Footsteps - slow and heavy - emerge from the riverbed. The soft evening sunlight casts a pale glow over two soaking wet bodies. Takemichi lies motionless in Izana's arms. Izana is freezing. His chest rises and falls, trying to catch his breath. He can hear the chaotic thudding of his heart. It's scared. But he holds it in, forcing a blank face that doesn't match the storm inside. Insane. He's lost it. Takemichi's life or death has nothing to do with him. It shouldn't matter. And yet... the moment he saw Takemichi fall - his mind just blanked out. Nothing else matters. A wave of emotion rises up, violent and fast. The image of Takemichi sinking mixes with a memory - the same feeling from when Shinichiro died. A chill runs down his spine. His body trembles. It's fear. The kind of fear that comes from losing something important. And his body just moves on its own...
Takemichi coughs violently, choking on river water. His face is pale, lips tinted blue. He slowly opens his eyes. A weak, strained smile curves on his lips.
"Izana-kun... you lost."
This round, Takemichi wins. Admit it, Izana - you won't be able to take your eyes off him anymore. Izana's tightly held emotions burst free. His expression shatters completely. He still holds Takemichi in his arms, his entire body tense. Furious, he raises his voice, like he wants to purge every unbearable feeling churning inside.
"What the hell do you want?! Why the hell do you push me this far?! Do you want me to admit you're just like Shinichiro?! That you've replaced Mikey and become him?! What the hell are you trying to do?! Do you even understand what I want?!"
His voice trembles more with every word, growing quieter, softer - his face looking like he's about to cry.
Takemichi lifts his hand, gently touches Izana's cheek again. He's trying to comfort him. Izana is just a wounded child who lost his way. Just a child, that's all.
"Izana-kun, I don't want to be anyone's replacement. I'm sorry for pushing you like that. I just... I really wish you'd come back to the Sano family and be happy with Mikey and Emma. They'll welcome you. You're all family, right? All of you are Shinichiro's siblings. You have more than you think. I just want you to cherish that. And if you want... I'm willing to be the guy who yells at you when you're being stupid - like Mikey does. We can be friends. I'd be really happy about that."
Takemichi smiles. Even in his pitiful state, his smile is warm and bright - it carries a strange, gentle calm. Izana stares, dazed. In the middle of his chaos, his pain, something soft pushes through - an unfamiliar feeling. He doesn't want to feel it. He wants to push it away.
Shut up, Takemichi. Don't look at me like that. Don't smile like that. Why are you so damn stubborn? You don't understand anything. You don't know what kind of person I am. You think I can be... good? That things can be that simple? Be part of the Sano family? I don't even share a drop of blood with them. What family? What happiness? When the hell are you gonna stop saying crap like that? That word... it doesn't fit me anymore.
But... does Izana's heart truly want what he claims? If so, then why are you crying, Izana? The tears he thought had long dried up now fall onto Takemichi's face. Izana's strained expression - right now, it's helpless. So full of hurt.
"No rush, Izana-kun. No rush."
Takemichi doesn't pressure Izana to accept his words right away. He knows his words aren't divine - they can't change someone overnight. But these tears... they tell him everything. Takemichi knows he's planted something in Izana's mind - a seed. A seed of what people call happiness, of what it means to be part of a family. Something Izana desperately tries to deny. But right now, Takemichi earns something far more important: space in the king's mind. From this moment forward, Izana starts to think about him. And that - belongs to him.
Takemichi reaches up, gently wipes away the tears streaming down Izana's face. Who knows how long it's been since Izana last let anyone see this side of him? Since the day Shinichiro died, he thought that part of him - the vulnerable, soft part - died too. But then comes Takemichi, this stubborn kid who shows up out of nowhere and pulls that person back out, kicking and screaming.
Takemichi, you better take responsibility for what you've done to me. Izana leans in, forehead lightly pressing against Takemichi's. He closes his eyes. His voice comes out low and rough, almost a whisper.
"You're gonna be responsible for what you did today, Hanagaki."
Takemichi stares at him, stunned. There's something different in Izana's eyes now. Something is changing. But Takemichi doesn't understand yet - he doesn't know if it's a good sign or not. Before he can say a word, hurried footsteps echo behind them, and a familiar voice calls out.
"Izana!" Kakuchou's voice rings out, full of panic, as he runs toward him.
Takemichi blinks. Kakuchou? Why is he here? Still, he's relieved it's Kakuchou and not anyone else from Tenjiku.
The reason Kakuchou shows up here starts with the strange signs he's been noticing from Izana these past few days. He's been worried, but he holds himself back from asking, thinking Izana would speak up when he's ready. But today, Izana just disappears without saying a word. Then Kakuchou spots Muchou at Tenjiku's base. Muchou comes back earlier than expected, and that's when Kakuchou feels something is seriously off. He asks around and hears something he never sees coming. Takemichi knows Muchou works for Izana? Takemichi sets up a meeting with Izana? What the hell is going on? And to top it off, Takemichi even knows he and Kokonoi are already in their sights.
The unexpected news makes Kakuchou rush to ask Mucho where the two of them are, but Mucho, following Izana's orders, refuses to say a word. Worried sick, Kakuchou loses his temper and resorts to violence, forcing the answer out of him. He honestly doesn't even know if he's more afraid for Izana or for Takemichi at this point.
He gets there just as Takemichi leaps into the river and Izana dives in after him, without hesitation. For a few seconds, Kakuchou just freezes. Then, in a mess of panic and confusion, he scrambles onto the bridge, scanning the water below. Only when he sees Izana dragging Takemichi safely to shore does he bolt, running as fast as he can to get there.
Kakuchou blinks in disbelief when Izana turns to him and he sees it. Izana is crying. Crying? Izana? The thought alone feels unreal, but seeing it with his own eyes borders on something almost eerie. Even stranger, it's Takemichi who causes it. Still held tightly in Izana's arms, Takemichi lifts his gaze and looks straight at him.
"What are you doing here, Kakuchou?" Izana's voice is cold as ice.
"I heard from Mucho, so I came."
"Didn't I tell him to keep his mouth shut?"
"You need to find somewhere to change, Izana. You'll catch a cold."
Kakuchou speaks with concern. He only shows worry for Izana, careful not to acknowledge any familiarity with Takemichi. A part of him fears Takemichi won't remember he's that childhood friend from long ago. Truth is, Kakuchou has no clue what the hell is going on. A thousand questions race through his mind, begging for answers.
"Put me down, Izana-kun,"
Takemichi says between sneezes. He knows this guy is tough, but there's no way he can carry him around forever - and besides, this whole princess-carry thing is starting to feel awkward. Just a moment ago, he was all gutsy, calmly pulling off things no one would believe. Now, in Izana's arms, he's blushing like an idiot. Frustratingly enough, Izana doesn't hate that look on him. If anything, he finds it... kind of cute. Much better than those unreadable expressions Takemichi always wears.
"No. I'm not putting you down just so you can do something stupid again." Izana replies flatly.
"I'm cold. I wanna go home."
"You make a mess like this and then just say you wanna go home?"
"If Yokohama's too far, you can come to my place," Takemichi jokes - half-serious, half not.
"I'll take you back to Tenjiku." Izana answers, completely unfazed.
"But I don't want to go there."
"Didn't you just say you wanted to be friends with me? Having second thoughts already?"
"Unless you're going back to the Sano family, that offer doesn't count."
To Kakuchou, this entire conversation feels like a strange riddle - confusing from the tone down to the content. Is he hearing things, or is Izana actually using a soft voice with Takemichi? And the way he's holding him - gentle, careful, like something precious. It's only now that Kakuchou snaps out of his haze and starts noticing these things. What just happened between those two?
"Izana-kun, it's so cold..."
Takemichi doesn't even finish his sentence when a sudden jolt - like electricity - shoots through his body. A sharp pain hits him out of nowhere, and he doubles over. His head spins, his ears ring, and the world in front of him begins to blur. Izana and Kakuchou freeze in alarm.
"Hanagaki, what's wrong with you?"
Izana stiffens when he sees blood trickling from Takemichi's nose. Takemichi reaches up to wipe it, and when he looks at his hand, it's smeared with red. The blood doesn't stop - it keeps flowing. Panic flashes across Izana's face. He scoops Takemichi up, rushes him to a clean spot, and gently sets him down, letting the boy lean against his chest. Takemichi trembles all over, as if his strength has been completely drained. He presses both hands to his nose, trying to stop the bleeding, but Izana and Kakuchou can see it seeping through his fingers. That much blood? They stare at him, stunned.
Why is this happening? Takemichi doesn't understand. Is it the cold? Is that why his nose is bleeding? A deep unease settles in his chest.
Kakuchou can't pretend to stay calm anymore. Takemichi's already drenched, shivering like mad, and now the nosebleed - it's way too much. His face looks drained, ghostly pale. His eyes start to lose focus.
"Takemichi, hey - Takemichi, stay with me. I'll take you home."
"Izana, get him out of here - fast," Kakuchou urges.
But before either of them can move, the roar of a motorcycle engine cuts through the air - growing louder, closing in fast. Even in his half-conscious state, Takemichi recognizes that sound immediately. The Bobber.
His hands drop, and he calls out faintly,
"Manjirou..."
Izana's brows knit as he stares at Takemichi, then turns toward the direction of the noise. Mikey appears a moment later, pulling up at a distance from the three of them. His eyes meet Izana's. And just like that, the air thickens with something heavy. The twilight around them deepens, wrapping the moment in an eerie stillness.
Seeing his younger brother like this truly leaves Izana unsure of what he's feeling. If he had met Mikey earlier - back when Mikey was still his target - maybe those emotions would've been clearer. But with Takemichi's arrival... even if he hasn't admitted it yet, the goal he's clung to all this time is starting to waver. And now, whatever he feels for Mikey... he just doesn't know anymore.
Mikey stares coldly at the two strangers in front of him. He can only see the back of Takemichi, who's leaning against someone else. Both of them are drenched. Mikey's eyes darken, anger swelling inside. Izana feels a strange thrill under that glare. He actually wants to say hello - to greet his little brother, for real this time.
"Manjirou." Takemichi's voice rings out, clearer now. That name freezes Mikey in place. Did he just call me... by my name? He can't believe what he just heard.
Takemichi slowly pushes himself upright. Izana and Kakuchou both glance toward him. He turns, a little unsteady, and looks at Mikey. That's when Mikey notices the blood smeared across Takemichi's face - and his hands too. He jumps off the bike, panic flaring, and rushes over. Takemichi steps forward as well, just two shaky steps.
He smiles. That smile - the one he always gives Mikey. Soft. Warm. Full of everything kind and gentle. A smile that makes Mikey forget all the weight of this world. Takemichi forgets everyone else. He opens his arms wide.
"Manjirou..." he calls again, sweet and full of affection. Only now does Mikey truly believe it. His dark eyes suddenly shimmer with something bright - happiness. His whole face lights up.
And in that moment, Izana feels a sharp twist in his chest. That same, uncomfortable feeling again.
Mikey's feet move fast, syncing with the wild beat of his heart. He wants to hold him - hold his whole world close. He throws himself at Takemichi, wrapping him up in his arms, not caring about the soaked clothes, not caring about Izana's eyes watching them with unreadable, tangled emotions. Mikey holds him tight.
"Takemitchy, why the hell are you soaked? And you're bleeding too. Does it hurt? Does it hurt bad?"
His voice trembles, almost on the edge of tears. He shrugs off his jacket, drapes it over Takemichi, then uses the sleeve to wipe the blood from his face. Clumsy, but so, so gentle. Like he's scared he might break him.
People know Takemichi matters to Mikey. But seeing it - watching the way Mikey handles him - they start to understand just how much he matters. So much that even Kakuchou senses something... off.
Takemichi, still dazed like he's in a dream, rushes to explain.
"I'm just a little cold. It's just a nosebleed, nothing serious, Manjirou. Don't worry too much. You're all wet too... You'll get cold."
His voice is soft - soothing, almost like he's calming down a lover. And no matter how many times Takemichi does this, Mikey still feels his heart melt. Can't hide how happy it makes him. Takemichi is so sweet. So damn precious. No matter what, he always worries about him.
Izana's head starts to ache again. His heart, too. Because the memories come flooding back. Memories that tear into a heart that has never fully healed. He remembers the moment he realized Shinichiro isn't his brother only. He remembers begging to inherit Black Dragon, and Shinichiro calling Mikey's name instead.
Shinichiro only loves his real brother, doesn't he? He'll never love me like he loves Mikey. He's not just my brother.
Then comes that day, again - That day by the ocean. The two of them, laughing together, sharing joy under the sun. And he - he is nothing but a spectator, watching a happiness he can never touch.
Another illusion creeps into Izana's vision - Shinichiro's face overlays Takemichi's. They hold Mikey. They smile at Mikey. They stand by Mikey. They love Mikey. Everything... Everything is for Mikey. Never for him.
A pain so deep it could drive a person insane. Mikey already had a Shinichiro who loved him more than anything. So why - Why does even someone like him now give everything to Mikey, too?
Mikey has stolen everything from him.
Here, in this moment, Izana is the only one left alone.
Completely hollow. He has nothing. Not love. Not even a piece of it.
Why can't that love be his?
He wants it. He needs it.
No more confusion. No more chaos in his mind. He's found it. The one who will soothe his wounded heart. Who will satisfy every longing. Who will fill this aching void inside him.
Takemichi... you showed yourself to me. Then be mine. You should be mine!
Izana's shoulders drop. Darkness and longing take over the lavender hue in his eyes. And like instinct, Mikey senses it. Something dangerous. He pulls Takemichi into his arms. One hand threads through the boy's damp hair, pressing his face gently to his shoulder. The other hand tightens around his waist.
Protective. Untouchable. No one is allowed to lay a finger on him.
Takemichi is his.
The possessiveness, the silent fury - It's all clear in Mikey's eyes now.
And Kakuchou finally sees it. He understands what's wrong - what's off - about Mikey. He's shocked to realize: Mikey - the head of Toman - feels that kind of way about Takemichi too.
And for Izana, a line from Takemichi echoes in his mind: "Mikey will kill everyone if I ever leave him." It's not an exaggeration. Not even close.
The way Mikey obsesses over Takemichi... It's just like the way Izana obsesses over Shinichiro.
And now - Is Izana starting to shift that obsession onto Takemichi?
Takemichi snaps out of his sudden daze, startled, and quickly pushes Mikey away. The tense silence shatters. Damn it - he doesn't want Mikey and Izana to meet like this. Not now. Not in this situation.
"Mikey-kun, can we go home already? I'm freezing to death here," Takemichi grabs Mikey's elbow, blurting out the words in a rush.
Mikey hesitates for a second, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face when Takemichi stops calling his name the usual way. But Takemichi really does need to get out of those wet clothes and warm up - or he's going to get sick.
"Let's go home, Takemitchy," Mikey says.
Takemichi turns to look at Izana, lips pressed tight. The other boy stands there, calm as ever, a faint smile tugging at his lips. This time, it's Takemichi who can't read him at all. And that's not a good thing. Izana's not mad, not yelling - just smiling. That smile is off.
"Goodbye, Izana-kun... Take care, don't catch a cold or something," Takemichi mumbles awkwardly.
"Goodbye, Hanagaki. We'll meet again," Izana replies, soft and smooth.
Mikey frowns at the exchange, visibly annoyed. He suddenly realizes - Izana. That name. Isn't that the guy Emma mentioned? Their brother? So that's him? But what's his connection to Takemichi? More importantly, Mikey doesn't like the way that guy looks at Takemichi. It makes his skin crawl. He needs to get Takemichi out of here.
Their figures grow smaller as they walk away. Kakuchou stays quiet, waiting for Izana's next move.
"Kakuchou, I didn't know you knew Hanagaki," Izana says.
At this point, Kakuchou sees no point in hiding it.
"He was my childhood friend. Before I ended up at the orphanage."
"Hm? Interesting. What was Hanagaki like back then? Tell me about it when we get back."
Izana pauses for a second, then suddenly laughs, light and amused.
"Kakuchou, do you think Hanagaki would look better in red... or black?"
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