Chapter 53
"You're the only one who can save my sister."
"Please... save everyone, you crybaby hero."
"I'm leaving Mikey and Touman to you."
"I'm entrusting my memories of Baji-san and Touman... to you."
"My life... it's nothing but pain."
"Takemitchy, your hands... they're so warm."
"Save Kurokawa Izana."
"Mikey's counting on you."
"Save me, Takemichi."
Voices echo through the dark room - fragmented, desperate. Like clips from old films, the memories play over and over again on a giant invisible screen. Takemichi trembles, panic rising like a wave. His head pounds like it's being split in two. He curls in on himself, shaking. His lips move without sound at first, then quietly, he whispers:
"I can do this... I'll save everyone."
But another voice - his own - cuts through the silence, cruel and cold:
"You can't do anything, Takemichi. You're weak. You're useless. You don't have strength. You're not smart enough to save anyone. You couldn't save Baji. Emma died because of you. Mikey only fell into darkness because you returned to the future. The future will repeat itself. You'll watch them all die again, right in front of you."
It's his own voice, but twisted - sharp and bitter, mirroring the way he always blames himself. Every dark thought, every buried fear, every ounce of guilt he carries since the day he got a second chance.
"No!" Takemichi snaps back, his voice cracking. "I had the chance to change everything. I saved them. Everyone will be happy... together!"
But then another voice laughs - a mocking, venomous chuckle.
"Together? Oh, sure. You worked so hard for that, didn't you?"
The voices fall silent. Darkness thickens. And then... a massive hourglass appears before him. Grains of sand fall slowly, endlessly, down into the bottom. What is it? Takemichi doesn't know. But as he stares, unease claws at his chest. A strange, silent dread builds within him.
The two voices return - closer this time, whispering like demons just behind his ear. And every word etches itself deep into his mind.
"They'll live happily ever after... but not with you."
"You saved them, Takemichi. But what about you? You carry the pain. You carry the despair. You keep trying, only to end up... alone."
The sand keeps falling. Time is slipping away - too obvious now. But whose time? What for?
Suddenly, Takemichi can't breathe. He collapses, clutching himself, shivering violently. It's cold. So cold. The darkness grows thicker, stronger. It wraps around him, pulls at him, tries to devour him whole. He struggles. He tries to run. But there's no way out.
It's terrifying. Please. He doesn't want to be trapped here.
He thinks of his friends in Touman. He thinks of Mikey.
"Please... someone... save me."
But Mikey isn't here. No one is. Takemichi cries out, again and again. Someone - anyone - please show up. He doesn't want to be alone. But no one hears him. No one comes.
"In the end... you always come back to being alone."
That voice again. Over and over in his mind. Takemichi starts to break. He gives in. Stops struggling. Lets the darkness consume him.
Just before it swallows him completely, he sees them - two figures in the distance. Take... and Michi.
With everything he has left, he reaches out toward them.
"Go back, Takemichi."
It has been three days since Takemichi fell unconscious. Everyone is anxious and on edge, despite the doctor's constant reassurance that his condition is not life-threatening - he's just resting. Takemichi has suffered worse injuries before, ones that could have been fatal, yet he always woke up quickly, smiled at them, and acted like nothing happened. They've never had to wait this long.
Too many people care about Takemichi. They take turns, two at a time, keeping watch by his bedside. Mrs. Hanagaki is there every day, staying by her son's side. Despite her overwhelming worry, she's the one who has to calm the restless, nervous young men who can't hide their fear - especially their leader.
She's afraid that if her son doesn't wake up soon, the next one to collapse will be him. His face is blank, his eyes dark and hollow - an expression far too unsettling for someone his age. Even adults would shudder at the sight of it.
The doctor's initial diagnosis was a shock to everyone: his old injury at the nape hasn't fully healed, and extreme exhaustion has pushed his body into a deep coma. Inupee, Kokonoi, Baji, Chifuyu, Kazutora, Mitsuya, Hakkai, and even the former enemy from the "Christmas Showdown," Taiju, are all frozen in place upon hearing it.
Mikey, however, just glares at them, his anger barely restrained.
"If any of you are still hiding something, I swear I'll kill you."
It's not a joke.
Inupee and Hakkai step forward to take responsibility, but before they can say much, Baji speaks up, his voice firm.
"I'm sorry."
He can't say anything else. Maybe there was nothing he could have done that night, maybe the situation was too urgent - but failing to notice something was wrong with Takemichi all this time? That's entirely his fault. He takes full responsibility. How could they have been so blind? They hate themselves for it.
Takemichi is always like this - always smiling, always full of energy. So they ignored the small complaints, brushed them off just like he did.
"I've been getting headaches a lot lately."
"I can't sleep at night, but during the day, I feel like I could pass out."
"I've been losing my appetite. I don't think I can finish this bowl of ramen - just don't feel like eating."
"But it's fine! It'll go away in a few days. I got checked already, and I don't even need to take medicine anymore."
Kokonoi and Inupi have never heard Takemichi complain like that before. Still, they've seen him nodding off during work, and though they sometimes ask if he's okay whenever he looks tired, they always stop asking once he says, "I'm fine." They're just too busy to pay closer attention. The workload in Black Dragon is massive - Kokonoi manages most of it, but Takemichi handles no small part himself. Kokonoi asks once or twice if Takemichi can manage, and the boy always responds with that same eagerness. Honestly, it makes Kokonoi feel proud. That eagerness shows how much Takemichi cares about Black Dragon - how responsible he is.
But Takemichi never tells him about setting up a crew over in Ginza. Not a word. Even with Shiba Taiju backing him up, Kokonoi knows how much work goes into building something from scratch. Taiju admits it too. But back then, Taiju isn't someone who spares Takemichi the harshness. He's not like the guys in Toman, or Kokonoi, or Inupi. Every time they meet, Taiju pushes him. He drills him. He reminds him to train, to handle the duties of a real leader. Even over the phone, there's no letting up.
And here's Takemichi, a fourteen or fifteen-year-old kid with a body that hasn't even fully recovered from injury, dragging himself through a workload far beyond what he can endure. No matter how strong his will is, no matter how fierce his spirit burns - it means nothing when the body breaks. In fact, that very will is what blinds him. He doesn't even realize what he's carrying. He doesn't notice his body's already at its limit.
And the worst part is - it doesn't stop there. Everyone around him is fooled, not just because Takemichi hides it well - but because even he is lying to himself.
He wakes up after three days in a coma. Mikey, Draken, Hinata, and his mother are so overwhelmed with joy, they can barely speak. Draken quickly calls everyone else - Izana, Kakucho, all of them. But once the doctor comes in, he only allows a few people to stay. The room's too small for a crowd. In the end, only Mrs. Hanagaki, Hinata, Mikey, and Draken remain.
The examination takes a long time. Down in the hospital lobby, the rest wait - happy, but restless. It's a relief that he's awake... but when Draken comes down, his expression shatters the hope in all of them.
"What is it, Draken? He's okay, right?" Baji's the first to catch the shadow on Draken's face.
"He's stable," Draken says. "But... the doctor thinks..." He hesitates. It takes him a long moment to find the words. "The doctor thinks Takemichi might be depressed."
Silence. Every eye goes wide in disbelief.
"They say he should see a psychiatrist. It's just a preliminary diagnosis, but..."
"That's insane. Takemichi? Depressed? Don't joke like that."
Smiley can't accept it. That sunny grin of Takemichi's - the way he lifts everyone's spirits - it doesn't make sense.
But then it hits him. It does make sense.
"Smiling depression. He's been hiding it. Maybe ever since the Christmas Showdown."
Those who were there remember what the doctors said after the fight - how a concussion can lead to mental health issues. Depression. Anxiety. They told him to rest. To clear his mind.
But Baji and Chifuyu know Takemichi's mind never rests. Not with the mission he's carrying. How could it?
"Damn it." Chifuyu curses under his breath - not at anyone else, but at himself. He should've seen it sooner. No, he did realize it. They all did. Takemichi's been breaking down for a while now, but they kept turning a blind eye. All because of that one, damned smile.
Izana and Kakuchou, as outsiders, already know something is off. Still, they're stunned - and skeptical. Takemichi? Depressed? The guy with the unshakable will? That doesn't sound real. But when they see all of Touman sitting there, quiet and subdued, the disbelief turns into alarm.
"Can we go up and see him?"
"Yeah, he's done with the check-up."
But no one rushes to the room. Their steps are slow, almost soundless. Outside Takemichi's hospital room, they run into his mother. Her eyes are puffy, red. She forces a tight smile when she sees them and swallows down her tears. But her voice - her voice betrays everything.
"Go see him, kids. I... I need a moment."
They all know she's stepping away so her son won't see her cry. No one says a word. They just bow their heads as she walks past. The air grows heavier.
It takes them a long moment before they even decide to step in.
Inside the room, only Hinata and Mikey are there. But every head turns to Takemichi.
And just like that, their hearts twist.
He's not the Takemichi they know. He sits there, limp, empty, hollowed out. His body doesn't flinch, doesn't react, not even when the room slowly fills with people who care deeply about him. The only sound is their collective breathing - heavy, uneasy.
Takemichi's back, once so straight, shoulders once so small yet unbreakable - now slump forward as if all the weight in the world is pressing down. He gazes out the hospital window, lost in some world far away, detached from everything and everyone.
It's been a few hours since he woke up, since his mind began to piece itself back together. But everything still feels wrong. What the hell is going on with him?
He's confused. Everything aches. He feels like he's been drained to the last drop.
He answers the doctor's questions almost mechanically.
Trouble sleeping - sometimes oversleeping?
Yeah. That checks out.
Appetite change, weight loss?
Definitely. Food doesn't taste the same anymore. Even dishes he used to love feel bland now. He hasn't checked his weight, but both Mikey and Chifuyu have said something about it.
Constant negative emotions? Anxiety?
Takemichi could add guilt and regret to the list - but he doesn't say a word.
Feelings of hopelessness, low self-worth?
He thinks he's just being realistic about himself. He doesn't agree with that one.
Trouble getting up in the morning, avoiding activities?
Half true. He doesn't sleep well - either he lies awake all night or drowns in nightmares. Every morning comes with a pounding headache. It's been worse since Christmas. But avoiding his duties? Never. He has to protect everyone. He must be ready to face whatever danger comes. And he still wants to be there for them, always.
Feeling drained at the end of the day, irritability or anger outbursts?
Yeah, he gets tired. But angry? No. Maybe a little on edge sometimes. Like when Ran kissed him out of nowhere - that was horrible, but it passed. Or when Sanzu disobeyed orders - yeah, that pissed him off. But that's just normal, right? That's just human.
The doctor eventually leaves with his mother. When they come back, her eyes are misty again.
And then the doctor says, "If you're under pressure, Takemichi, could you try opening up a little more to your family, to your friends? You're not alone, you know?"
Takemichi squints at him. And then he hears it. The diagnosis. Exhaustion. Physical collapse from overwork. And smiling depression.
Smiling depression is a form of high-functioning depression, also known as persistent depressive disorder (PDD). It manifests as a constant dull ache - a dragging sadness that reshapes how a person eats, sleeps, feels tired all the time, panics for no reason. People with smiling depression hide their symptoms well. Just like the name suggests, they go about life smiling, talking, acting like everything's fine... even when their world inside is caving in. Smiling, just to get through the pain.
Takemichi isn't sure if that's supposed to describe him or not.
"To be safe," the doctor says, "your family should take him to see a therapist. The past brain trauma and the emotional stress he's been under could have triggered depression. Please, stay close to him. He needs support."
Then the doctor leaves, just like that. Takemichi stares blankly ahead as his mother's tears fall, one after another, soaking into her sleeves. Hinata bites her lip, trying not to cry. Draken looks like he wants to say something but can't. And Mikey - Mikey's eyes are swirling with grief and confusion as he calls his name.
"Takemitchy..."
Takemichi forces a smile. "Don't look like that, guys. It's just a doctor's guess, right? We won't know anything for sure until I see a therapist."
But deep down, Takemichi knows. He knows better than anyone what's going on inside him. He's just gotten really good at lying to himself. His mind shattered a long time ago - he simply glued the pieces back together out of duty, out of the hope that one day, everyone could be happy.
He's not just fighting enemies who threaten his friends' happiness - he's fighting something darker. Inside.
The darkness of overwhelming anxiety, of mistakes he can't take back, of despair and agony and regret. All those memories, all that pain - others might see them as abstract things, shadows of the past. But for Takemichi, they are real. Concrete. Heavy. They're wounds trying to heal. They're ghosts he's desperate to exorcise.
He is happy. Truly, deeply happy to be with them. Happy that he's shaping a better future. That's why he can't forgive himself for being this way now. What's wrong with you, Takemichi? Everyone's happy now. Baji, Emma, Izana - even Kisaki - they're all alive. Mikey didn't fall into the darkness. You did it. So why are you like this? Are you really that weak? That pathetic? You're making them worry. You're becoming the reason they hurt. Come on, Takemichi. Pull yourself together. The least you can do is smile, right?
His head starts to throb again. That hourglass appears in his mind. And those words from the dream earlier begin echoing through his skull.
"They'll live happily ever after... but not with you."
"You saved them, Takemichi. But what about you? You carry the pain. You carry the despair. You keep trying, only to end up... alone."
And then there's something else. What is it...?
Time is running out.
And what about you?
Am I going to die?
The thought hits like a hammer. Every ounce of strength he's been clinging to slips away. He goes quiet. That smile dies on his lips. No tears come this time. He doesn't even have the energy to cry. Takemichi just stares at the hospital window. He knows that if he keeps thinking, just a little more, the fragile thing he's been holding together in his mind will finally break.
His mother is saying something to him.
Hinata and Mikey are calling out to him.
Draken walks out of the room.
It doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't care.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Com