For twenty five weeks we spoke

So why did that time

Seem so short?

It's been a week since we spoke.

Why does one small week

Feel so long?

Wondering when we'll speak again.

But do I even

Want to know?

Something is happening now.

Would you even care

if you knew?

I'm not saying you don't care.

Why is guilt eating

Me alive

I always say I'm

Tired. It's not an excuse.

I'm really tired.

Emotionally,

I'm tired of feeling pain.

Tired of crying.

And physically.

I can barely move myself.

It hurts to smile.

Tired of wrist checks.

I never wanted to hurt

Them. I hate the pain.

Tired of sleeping.

I can't escape from my head.

Nightmares always haunt.

Tired of waking,

And being sad I didn't

Just die in my sleep.

Tired of crying.

How do I have any tears

Left? Always crying.

Tired of feeling

Guilt. It eats away at me.

It's overwhelming.

Tired of feeling

Lonely. I'm never alone.

But I'm so lonely.

Tired of puking.

I hate it. My weight. The tears.

It all just explodes.

Tired of my blood.

On my wrists. My fingernails.

And coughing it up.

Tired of hurting

People who love me. That is

Truly worst of all.

Tired of seeing

The face of disappointment.

The feeling is bad.

Tired of feeling

Hopelessness. H.old O.n P.ain E.nds

But does it really?

Tired of breathing.

Every breath hurts. I think I

Injured something. Whoops.

Tired of voices.

Echoes. The past. They want me

Dead. They scare me lots.

Tired of visions.

That's what I'll call evil friend

Imaginary.

Tired of thinking

About death and suicide.

All I think about.

Tired of being

Tired. I want it all to

Stop. A selfish thought.

Tired of trying

To die. I talk myself out

Of it every time.

Tired of scaring

Myself, my friends. It's horrid.

I hate to do it.

Tired of wishing

For us all to be rid of

Pain we don't deserve.