Client: MyriamRow

Reviewer: -forever-summer-

Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer. I hope my review helps you.

Cover: 5/10

The cover is good and I like the idea behind it. But then, there is a lot going on the cover and it isn't placed neatly. Neat placement could help attract more readers to your book.

Also, try to change the font, the title isn't clearly visible and it will make your book go unnoticed by the readers. Try to make the title bold and add a small subtitle to make it neat and beautiful.

There are a lot of designers who could help you with making a cover on Wattpad.

Title: 8/10

It was a nice title. Adding a number as your title keeps your book more mysterious and intrigues the readers to read the book.

But then, there is a possibility that it makes it harder for people to remember your book title. They may not be able to come back to it even if they find it interesting while searching for new books.

So, as much as a number title could be advantageous, it is disadvantageous. If you could find a more appropriate title than this one, it would help get your book more recognition and readers.

Blurb: 3/10

Your blurb could have been better. It was more like a summary than a blurb.

A blurb is a short description of the book's main character and conflict, usually between 100 and 200 words, that traditionally is included on the inside cover or on the back of a book. It serves you on the consumer marketing front, giving a glimpse into your story with just enough information to entice, holding back enough to avoid spoilers. It's a teaser of your book, not a summary.

In your blurb you have mentioned every detail that we would notice in the first few chapters giving out the plot and it makes things less interesting for the readers.

A blurb must make the readers pick your book in a sea of hundreds if they find it interesting.

Try adding dialogues that may intrigue readers or quotes from the book or that represents the book. Add some suspense, show the confusion the protagonist is facing in the blurb and reveal the questions on her mind. Don't give away the whole plot, try to minimise it and decide what the readers must know before reading the book and what they must learn in the book. It will help make your blurb a bit better.

Arrange the blurb neatly, give spaces in between paragraphs and make it look more organised to attract more readers. Don't mention that Alexa is falling for Grayson, let the readers discover that in the book, it will make the book more interesting for the readers.

Plot: 5/10

Your plot was nice but it could have been executed well. It could have been made more interesting and with more twists and turns.

You could have taken your time with the plot development rather than rushing to it. Make the readers believe and connect before improving on the plot.

In the first few chapters, the story line was too rushed and it didn't leave much time for the readers to understand the plot or characters.

Creativity: 4/10

There are a lot of stories with a similar plot of amnesia. The creativity of the author lies in making the book more interesting and making the story more intriguing for the readers.

Though you had a good plot in mind, I felt like you could have put in more effort for the execution of the story.

Try adding more twists. Leave the readers hanging and wanting to read more in every chapter. Make the readers want to read the book, for them to get hooked into your book.

Ending a chapter with cliffhangers makes the readers want to read your book.

Also, keep the readers engaged by introducing different sides of the character — by adding more interaction between the characters. Just writing about the character's feelings will not help the readers connect with the character.

Get creative with the words you use and play with your words, it would help with engaging your readers more.

Writing flow/pace: 4/10

I felt like your book was slightly fast paced and it was rushed to the main plot without enhancing it.

For instance, Alexa is mad at Grayson for changing her life overnight but there weren't enough instances explained in the prologue or the first chapter that tells us that Alexa actually was happy during those years (3 years after the accident) of her life. If it had been given, it would help the readers understand her bit more and relate with her. It would also justify the reason behind her actions.

Some sentences feel incomplete and feel like they have been abruptly ended. It didn't have enough information and was abruptly stopped. It could be edited out while editing your book.

At some places, I found that there was some missing punctuation which could disrupt the reading flow for readers. Though it can be edited out while editing it is important to read the chapter and check for these mistakes. It would improve the quality of your book and also attract readers.

All the paragraphs in your book seem longer and it is hard on the eyes for the readers. Try to split the paragraph when it is necessary. You can either split it when talking or explaining about two different things or when you are going to contradict and explain a mixture of emotions. It would be better if you explain one thing in a paragraph instead of mixing it all in one paragraph.

Also, while writing, decide on your thoughts and what you would like the readers to know before writing. At places, I felt like the thoughts jumped a lot and it got confusing for the readers. Organise your thoughts and explain them neatly one by one. It would improve the reading flow of the readers.

Try adding symbols to indicate time skips between paragraphs so as not to confuse the readers.

Writing Style: 4/10

Every writer has their own unique style and everyone works towards improving their style. Though I liked that you put forward emotions more than anything else in the book, it isn't enough to hook the readers in. Some improvements could help your book to be better.

Firstly, do not repeat words. Don't repeat the sentence or the thought twice. It would make the book uninteresting for the readers. The thoughts you would like the readers to have must be beautifully explained so as to hook the readers in without repeating the word again and again or thought.

Try to explain the emotion or thought first before writing out the reasoning of the character behind it.

Secondly, write out the numbers in words. It would look more neat and improve the quality of your writing.

Thirdly, Explain different emotions or thoughts in different paragraphs. Do not put them in the same paragraph unless and until they all are based on the same topic.

Lastly, Before mentioning the dialogues or something that had been quoted in the past, try using italics and write them down separately instead of including it in the same paragraph. It would help the readers understand better.

Setting and Character Development: 5/10

Though I liked that you had explained a lot about the emotions and thoughts of the protagonist that a lot of writers forget while writing, I felt like you didn't write enough to give the character development. Though you explained it a lot in different ways, the readers couldn't see or feel because there wasn't any instance that could prove the emotions you had written are true. Explain them a bit more, provide dialogues so that the readers will be able to connect with the characters more. Later, give them a character arch that would make the readers feel and know that the character has grown a lot since the start of the book.

The character arch could go two ways — the character could change for the better or for the worse. So, it's in the hands of the writers to make the readers see that.

Also, instead of just mentioning everything in the writing you could show us through some interaction between characters. Someone who is only ever talking about themselves in interactions can be considered self-centred.

Secondly, while writing try to explain the surroundings, at least two lines would probably help understand the setting better and can help the readers imagine better. You don't have to explain about the bedroom all the time, just once would let the readers imagine it.

Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation: 4/10

At the start of the book, the writer must always decide on the tense and the point of view they are going to write from and they have to carry it forward towards the end of the book. Though it may be hard to maintain a tense while writing, try to read through the chapter before publishing for any tense shifts and use of wrong pronouns. It would improve your writing quality, book quality and reader's enjoyment.

At places, I could notice that the punctuation was missed and it could disrupt the flow for readers.

- Add commas where it seems like the readers need to pause and then continue with the writing.

- End the sentences only when it is necessary and you have said everything the reader needs to know about that particular emotion or instance in the story.

- End the paragraph, only when you have mentioned everything related to that instance and if you want to mention or contradict anything, go to the next paragraph.

- Do not break the paragraph unless and until it is necessary but do not repeat sentences and make the paragraph longer than necessary.

There were a few noticeable spelling mistakes that could have been avoided. Try to read the chapters once or twice and edit out the small mistakes. It would make your story look a bit better to the readers. For example,

"Stood tall in his Hollister jeans and light green Pollo shirt,"

In this sentence, 'polo shirt' has been misspelt. Though, it is rare, it would make a bad impression on the readers.

Also, there were a few noticeable grammatical mistakes. Though this is just a first draft, I'm pointing it out, so it would help you while you are editing the book. There were:

- 'Had' has been used wrongly at many places in the initial chapters.

- There were a few noticeable tense changes in the initial chapters.

- Unnecessary use of semicolons at places and less use of commas.

- Confusion between has and had.

- At places, I felt like there was a verb missing. For example,

"So, I tended not to bring it up."

In this sentence, I feel like a verb is missing and it could have been rephrased better with a better vocabulary.

"I was trying to forget about it, forget about my parents' odd behavior, forget about the amnesia, when Grayson walked in. He destroyed any hope I had of ever forgetting."

In this sentence, the word forget has been repeated a lot and a better vocabulary could have been used. Also, the sentence ends abruptly in 'Grayson walked in'; it should have ended after amnesia and the next sentence should be put together.

"Letting the old man bring him to date on the material he had missed."

In this sentence, it should be 'upto date' and not 'to date'.

"But I held no confusion on my emotions. I was confused. Heavily confused."

In this excerpt, it felt like the sentences were contradicting each other. Try to separate them into two paragraphs for expressing contradicting emotions or thoughts. It would not confuse the readers and helps them understand the character better.

Capitalise the words only when it's needed. Capitalising it in between is grammatically incorrect. Make sure to always check for these mistakes before publishing the chapter.

Genre relevance and Enjoyment: 7/10

The book is a good romance if the few mistakes can be rectified. Editing the book would make it better for the reader's enjoyment.

But it would say it can also fall under the mystery category.

Total: 49/100

Your book is nice and interesting. But it has its ups and downs too. Just focus on the points I have mentioned above. Though those aren't major mistakes or improvements but those small changes could make a huge difference in improving the quality of your book.

I would suggest you change the blurb or work on it a bit more to improve it. Blurbs are the first impression that the readers get of a writer, so it would be better if it is done right. Also, it will help in attracting more readers.

Also, try to minimise things that could disrupt the reading flow of the book. Always make sure to read aloud the chapters before publishing them.

While editing your book, make sure to look for the mistakes I had mentioned and don't forget to rectify them. Try to work a bit on your vocabulary by reading and writing more.

These are just my personal opinions and areas that I think you should work on. Please keep writing and reading books. It would help a writer a lot to grow. All the best!