REVIEW - DIFFERENT (Beauty_queen2612)
REVIEWER - DeathBlade__
(The first 10 chapters were reviewed)
Title: 4.5/5
The title fits really well with the story, seeing that she is different from the people around her. It also ties in the fantasy/paranormal aspect of the book. However, most fantasy/paranormal genres or subgenres have the main character as a person who is ‘different’ from others. Because of that, it feels rather common and I thought that you could have kept something more unique to the plot of your story. Other than that, the title does have an intriguing factor to it and it is just one word, and I love one-word titles.
Cover: 4.5/5
The cover is absolutely stunning! I love the image you used in the background, it is a perfect representation of Vivian/Aurora. I also love how the eyes appear to be glowing. The font is also simply amazing! My only complaint is that I can’t see the author’s name clearly, it kind of blends with the background.
Blurb: 4.5/5
The blurb is really interesting! The scene you added at the end and the cliffhanger hooked me to the book from the very beginning. The placement of the paragraphs is done so seamlessly, overall, it’s just written really well. My one take however was that you used the word colleagues. A colleague is someone you work with and she’s only going to college so the right word would have been peers. It isn’t a huge error but the blurb is one of the first things people see and having a minute error there would not be a great first impression. Other than that, it’s perfect!
Writing Style: 6/10
The writing style can be improved.
The scenes are described really well and I was able to imagine the surroundings. My issue was with the pacing. I will get into this in the plot as well but it always felt like a few scenes could have been elaborated on instead of just jumping to the next one.  For example, on the first day of Vivan’s school, we see that she’s already walking and people are staring at her. But that was completely ignored because in the next scene, she’s in school. I felt that details like their stares and its effect could have been added. I get that she’s used to it by now but you don’t completely get rid of these feelings.
There were a couple of times when you showed other people’s actions when Aurora wasn’t even there. For example, when Ruby felt bad for the way she treated Aurora and when she was unconscious in the underground hideout. Since the book is in first-person POV, we should only see what Aurora does and technically, she couldn’t witness these 2 so we shouldn’t have been able to read it.
Overall Execution: In the tenth chapter, Adira was just spewing information to Aurora with no movement. The moment just seemed so stiff which I didn’t like all that much. I’d suggest adding movement and making the flow of information slower because it feels so unnatural when she speaks with zero reaction.
Grammar: 6.5/10
There are quite a few mistakes when it comes to grammar in your book. I saw other readers point out a few and I myself pointed them out too. I couldn’t get to all of them but It should give you an overview of what type of mistakes you are making.
Also, so many sentences were italicized. People usually use italics on sentences to show thoughts or during a flashback or when something is of grave importance. Since the book is in first person POV, there’s no need to italicize thoughts since we do read what she is thinking the whole time. All the italicized paragraphs weren't flashbacks and the third category, it’s used to stress on one word rather than the entire paragraph. What I am trying to say is that the italicization isn’t necessary and you could remove them.
You use ‘...’ too many times. To show a pause between one sentence and the next word, you could use ‘;’ or ‘-’. There’s nothing wrong with ‘...’ but the fact that it’s used a lot of times is the problem. You could switch between the alternatives and keep ‘...’ to a minimum.
Plot: 6/10
The plot is interesting and I would say that the execution is the problem. It has a great start to it, a hook that could intrigue the readers. But as I read further, I found a lot of places that could have been written better.
The Pacing: I already mentioned this, but it didn’t feel like the scenes really tied together. I felt this, especially in the tenth chapter when Aurora just assumed that her mother killed her father. Sure, it’s a possibility but that was honestly the last thing I would have thought of. With the backstory given by Adira, I didn’t see how she put that together. You could have added more information, or shown us exactly what she was thinking when she came up with the conclusion because honestly? It felt a bit out of the blue and random.
The Disbelief: A lot of what I read I couldn’t really believe. This was especially in the tenth chapter when Adira was just able to find Alora in less than 24 hours. We know that Aurora did so much research for so many years and couldn’t figure it out but Adira was able to do it in a matter of hours. It felt a little unrealistic to me. Also, in the scene where Aurora confronts Ruby about being horrible to her, she has a sudden change of heart. It was just too sudden for someone who hated Aurora all through her life. You could have made her ponder about it for a while, let that eat her up until she finally realized that she was being super mean.
Also, in the first fight between Adira and Aurora, Aurora literally pokes her eyeballs and tries to rip them out of her socket. After a few minutes of calming down, she was completely alright. Again, it wasn’t very believable to me and I wish that it was written better to show her pain after what happened.
The plot has great potential, there are so many ways it could end which makes it so much better! Fixing minor issues like this will make it so much better!
Characters: 9/10
The characters are yet to be properly defined but that’s okay since it’s only been the first 10 chapters! They have a great base to build from and that’s a lot already! The characters have been thought about well and no one is ‘hateable’, not even Ruby. Sure, she’s insufferable but there are redeeming qualities that outshine her pain in the buttness for now.
Aurora: Her anger is written really well. I can feel the anger she holds and all the emotions she refuses to release. It’s such a great opening for the main character and I can only see her getting better and trusting people with her emotions. She already made an effort when she told Adira to ask Jesus to tell her mother to come back to her. She’s making an effort and I love it.
Sebastian: First of all, I love the name, Sebastian. I loved how vulnerable he was when he saw that his mother was in pain and hurt from the death of his father, it’s all just written so well.
Adira: She’s a bit confusing right now if I’m being completely honest. She is playful sometimes and the next, she gets all serious and goes on trying to kill Aurora. Other than that though, I love the playful side of her, she gets interesting to read then. For the first part, I wouldn’t worry too much about it since you can always define the character in future chapters.
Ruby: Like I already mentioned, she is insufferable but there’s more to her. I got this in the scene where she goes to apologize but her feelings got the better of her. She would make such an interesting character and I hope you get to go in-depth about her to let the readers know what her real deal is. She does have redeeming qualities so I hope that it isn’t thrown out of the window and that she becomes a better person too.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
Leaving behind everything I mentioned, I really like the plot so far. It’s interesting and has a great base for it. Just correct all the eros and look into everything I pointed out and the book will be great!
Total: 45/60