REVIEW - THE COLOUR OF SECOND CHANCES (tread_carefully)
(First 8 chapters were reviewed)

REVIEWER - Blade DeathBlade__

Title: 3.5/5
- The title is very intriguing. It sounds poetic, which is great for drawing in readers. However, it doesn’t fit the plot just yet. In 8 chapters, there are no hints of anyone needing a second chance and even when it’s there, it’s very subtle. This is mostly because of the fact that the plot moves a bit slowly (more on that later) and this makes me unable to correlate the plot and the title.
- I’d suggest you leave more hints about the second chance because I do love the title (I wouldn’t suggest changing it).
- This isn’t mandatory, but you could remove the [Completed] from the title. Wattpad allows you to update the book’s status (which you have done) so adding it to the title is unnecessary.

Cover: 0.5/5
- It isn’t very attractive. The font is plain and so is the background. People do judge books by their cover and as for the first impression, it could be improved.
- I’m not sure why the cover is in black and white (perhaps because there are no colours to second chances and it’s an irony?) If this was the reason, It’s hard to relate to because we don’t have the reasoning for the title and therefore cannot correlate the cover and the title.
- The background image is people with guns which I can’t be too sure about since the background is blurred. You could choose a background that is more impactful to the reader and isn’t so crowded.
- The title, as I mentioned, is plain. The author’s name blends in with the background, making it hard to read.
- Lastly, the sticker pulls away from the black-and-white theme of the cover. It is not necessary to have a sticker showcasing the book’s genre since this can be done through Wattpad features as well.

Blurb: 2/5
- I like both the quotes you’ve added, to the start and end of the blurb. They create curiosity and fit the vibe of the book.
- I noticed that the blurb has a lot more information than the actual plot. You mentioned in the blurb that Nobi had been adopted and that she had lost her brother, both of which were not mentioned in the book. It isn’t enough that the blurb has this information, the chapters should as well or else it would be very forgettable and confusing.
- The last line Unknown to her, her boss keeps….brother is very long. I’d suggest you change the sentence structure and break down that sentence because it’s very lengthy, making the blurb unenticing.

Writing Style: 10/10
- This is my favorite part of the book. The writing style wasn’t too long but it managed to make the surroundings very clear. You’ve only elaborated on the required information and when it’s done, it’s compact and clear, which is perfect!
- You started off strong with an amazing description of Danielle, which gave me huge hopes for the rest of the chapters.
- The dog chase scene was also beautifully written.
- Overall, the writing style is great!

Grammar: 5.5/10
- The grammar could use some work. The initial two chapters had minimal errors, quite ignorable. However, as I read along further, I could see constant errors.
- Mainly, the errors were with tenses. The book started off in present tense but I noticed you kept switching to past tense for no apparent reason. Another issue were the typos (quite common, but they were still present)
- I made notes for the chapters to give you a bit of a headstart with the editing!

Introduction:
Not a huge deal, but you wrote ‘His face, tho, reflects it’ instead of ‘though’

Chapter 1:
- I exhaled instead of I exhale (since the book is written in present tense)
- working the brotherhood instead of working at* the brotherhood
- In the para ‘The walk to Papa’s office appeared so long…’ the tenses change numerous times.

Chapter 2:
- I barely had time to registered instead of I barely had time to register
- The window are clean instead of windows
- sprays map instead of spreads map
- They are two beds in it instead of There are two beds in it
- Store th other supplies instead of the

Chapter 3:
- A simply lie that we are government officials instead of A simple
- Maybe this villagers aren’t being truthful instead of these villagers
- @ They inform us (omit the @)
- I git follow him. (I’m not sure what that means, perhaps you were looking for a different word)

Chapter 4:
- It’s some minute past ten (you could rephrase it into: It’s been a few minutes since the clock struck ten)
- A grey shirt, abd (not sure what abd is)

Chapter 5:
- Every building has at least, a couple (omit the comma)
- an hotel instead of a hotel

Chapter 7:
- My booth thump instead of thumps
- my shooting its dog instead of me shooting their dog

- These aren’t all of them, but I hope they’ve given you an insight into what type of errors you make. Grammatical errors are the easiest to fix and a reread of the book should do the trick!

Plot: 4/10
- The plot progression is incredibly slow. This wasn’t an issue for the first few chapters when I found myself excited to get to the next part. However, there were a few unnecessary scenes that slowed down the actual plot.
- Five chapters is a good number to get an idea on what the book is about, what the base of the plot is, etc. However, The only thing I know so far is that she wants to know who started the fire (for unknown reasons) and extra information here and there.
- This structure makes the plot a bit hard to follow. It leads to confusion which reduces my experience with the book.
- I will give my thoughts on each chapter as best as I can.

Introduction:
- For starters, you could have labeled that chapter as prologue instead of introduction. Since the start of the chapter does introduce the book (TW and stuff) the part of the plot is easily skippable.
- You also introduced new characters like Amos very abruptly which made it confusing (more on that later).
- You kept a lot of information unknown (like who is Papa, is that his real name) but this left me confused for a bit.

Chapter 1:
- Nobi mentions something about her position as a captive, which was so abrupt! There were no signs of that anywhere and a scene of this much impact was buried along with the rest of the paragraph. She also mentions something about her nature making her unable to report, which again, we know nothing of.
- The abuse was not explained well, as in I was confused about who was abusing her, Zulu or Papa. This line appeared right after Zulu’s appearance, making me think it could be him but they used to be friends so I’m not so sure.

Chapter 2:
- We find out that Nobi had been kidnapped by Lanre (a guy we barely know). Again, this is a scene with so much importance but it seems like Nobi just brushes it off. Her interactions with Lanre show no connection with this, making the scene unrealistic. Perhaps there is a reason for this but since this scene was so abrupt, you didn’t say much on the matter.

Chapter 3:
- I liked this chapter. It took the plot in the direction you intended it to and it was very interesting. However, I do suggest that you change your scene breaks from ¿?. It isn’t a huge issue but at first, I thought that it was showing confusion (this isn’t compulsory though)

Chapter 4:
- Here is when I started to see some plot holes. For starters, I didn’t understand why Nobi revealed that she was from a secret organization, it seemed so unwanted. The stakes weren’t high enough (at least, it wasn’t portrayed to be) and it made her actions seem unwanted.
- The fire starters let her go even though she knows who they are. That was such a risky move from them, especially since they could have killed Nobi and that made them see, like small threats.
- The guy pointing a gun at her also asks her to meet him in the park, but she doesn’t do so. In fact, I read it a couple of times to recheck and I couldn’t find it. Perhaps it makes its debut in future chapters but that seems like too long, especially since they were supposed to meet the next morning.

- From here, I felt that the plot had started to deviate. She looks for Maazi Ozoba and the interaction doesn’t go anywhere. I’m not saying this scene isn’t important since it does seem as though it has a great impact. However, I felt like a few scenes were skipped and you directly jumped into this.

- Overall, my main issues were the pacing and confusion. I’d suggest you speed up the book a little bit to give it more impact!
- As for the confusion, elaborate on certain scenes (like the ones I’ve mentioned). You can have it in a subtle way, but enough to keep the mystery in the air.

Characters: 4/10
- The characters could use some development. There is a lot of room to grow since there are many chapters but still, after eight chapters, I don’t feel like I know anything about them.
- There are many characters and their introduction is very abrupt. For example, Amos, Gaga, and Jese were all introduced so out of the blue. Nobi’s roommate was introduced as well and they only had one not-so-impactful scene together, making her very forgettable.
- Danielle, who was introduced in the first chapter, seemed like she had an important role. However, she was completely ignored which makes her forgettable as well.
- Nobi is the main character but I know nothing about her. She makes snarky comebacks but that’s about it. She hasn’t had any key character exposition moments that made me say wow.
- The other characters have nothing to them (not yet). They need a fleshed-out base, so give them some key characteristics. This will help you work on them in future chapters and show their growth.

Overall: 2.5/5
- The first few chapters were great! The plot had a definitive path and you walked along that. My only suggestion to you would be to not deviate.
- With characters and the scene, you introduce them and leave them unfinished for a long time and that structure isn’t very enjoyable.
- From what I’ve read, your writing style is great which is of great advantage! You could continue to write in this manner and give appropriate time for scenes instead of stretching some and ignoring others.
- The grammar, as I’ve said, can be improved. But, the errors aren’t too big and you should be able to manage them!
- Overall, I think this book has wonderful potential. Just give a little more time to the plot and character progression and you should be good to go! All the best!

Total: 32/60