Customer: Black_Gold22

Reviewer: dojacant

Title/Cover: 9/10

I love the new cover! The text is much clearer and the image shows the genre and just overall looks good aesthetically! (I'm a sucker for pastels.) I enjoyed the title as well, but I would capitalize the words "Shadows" and "Thread."

Grammar/Syntax: 6/10

There are a couple of grammatical errors I want to point out. The first is that there are a few times where the verb tense shifts from past to present. For the most part you follow past tense, but there are times where it shifts into present tense (e.g. "is" vs "was"), so that's just something to look out for.

Another is that when characters speak, and it's a statement, there should be a comma within the quotation marks and he/she should be lowercase. For example: "Hello," she said. There are also times where the comma is not needed, but a period should be there in its place, so watch out for that. An example of this from the first chapter would be: "I love it! Thank you." She smiled at him warmly.

Lastly, I wanted to point out a common grammatical mistake that lots of writers on here make, which is using comma splices. Comma splices are when two complete sentences are joined together by a comma. Instead, they should be separated with a period, a semicolon, or a conjunction (and, but, so, etc.). An example from the second chapter is when you say: "The tan woman and the athletic woman verbally attacked the old lady, the athletic woman was holding the tan woman back from strangling the old lady..." Instead, you could say something like, "The tan woman and the athletic woman verbally attacked the old lady, and the athletic woman was holding the tan woman back from strangling the old lady..."

You use a lot of great descriptive words that help readers paint a vivid mental image. With the grammatical errors fixed, your writing would be impeccable!

Plot: 9/10

I really like the introduction in the first chapter. You begin with some awesome, spooky descriptions that capture the reader's attention immediately. The foreshadowing here is really cool, too. The reveal that the sister was poisoning Amelia was also a great way to start because not only is it exciting, it sets up Amelia's adventure into the Darklane district in a way that feels authentic and raises the stakes for her character.

The story really gets going in Chapter 5 when we meet the goddess, Aurora. This is a really interesting twist that sends the women onto their new paths. I really liked watching their lives play out when they were sent back in time. The way you weave fantasy into the ordinary is an aspect of the story I enjoyed as well.

Characters: 8/10

First of all, I wanted to say that I love the strong female representation in this story!

Amelia, the first main character we meet, is beautiful and rich, but also incredibly naive. She believes both her sister and boyfriend are loyal and love her, but they're secretly plotting against her. I like Amelia as a character. Sometimes I wanted to scream at her for not seeing what was really going on, but she's still compelling.

I think Madeline is an interesting character as well. She's a villain, of course, but she's very clever. One thing I'd like to see more of is her motivations. I believe her main motivations are jealousy and greed, but I think those could be played up more. Madeline is an evil sister, and I think that maybe the way she's treated as less than compared to her sister could be explored further, if that makes sense.

Victoria, the hot-headed woman, might be my favorite character. I like the way she stands up to the Emperor for Amelia. Victoria doesn't put up with anyone's BS, and I love her for that!

Lastly, Eliza, the commoner, is an interesting and also important character in my opinion because she doesn't come from money. She is able to do extraordinary things while being ordinary, which, to me, makes her a very meaningful character.

Overall Enjoyability: 9/10

I don't typically read a lot of fantasy novels, but I actually quite liked this story. The descriptions are great, the characters are compelling, and the plot is really intriguing and kept me wanting to see what would happen next. The originality of the concept helped me buy into the fantastical world and the adventures the characters go on. Well done!

Total: 41/50