SUG4RPOP! By laineejosephine

Reviewer: dojacant

Thank you for choosing me to review your story!

Title/Cover: 10/10

I think both the cover and title work really well for this story. The cover clearly signifies the genre, and the color scheme helps it pop!

Grammar/Syntax: 8/10

The grammar and syntax was really good overall! I noticed a couple of errors, but nothing that couldn't be fixed quickly: e.g. in Chapter 1 - "...she really had no other option than to kept it." Kept should be keep. There are a couple of other small errors like that, but all of them should be a quick fix.

Also, when someone is speaking, she/he should be lowercase and there should be a comma instead of a period within the quotation marks if it's a statement. For example:

"Okay, let's get this show on the road!" she cried cheerfully."Kaguya's not mean, by the way," Lilliana said suddenly.

But no biggie! A careful read-through should be able to fix all of the errors.

A couple of parts I really liked the writing of in particular:

Chapter 1: "...trying her hardest to avoid puddles as the murky gray sky above her rumbled and flashed with lightning." The details you provide throughout help readers get a good feel for the setting and mood. The syntax flows smoothly and the word choices help readers visualize.

Chapter 2: "There were CDs and vinyls laying about everywhere, makeup was scattered across the vanity, and all around the room there was a feeling of clutter and familiarity." The description of Byeol's room here helps characterize her while also giving us insight into the mother's opinion of Byeol. The writing is really well done!

Plot: 9/10

The general idea of your plot is something I've seen on Wattpad before, but the way in which you wrote it made it feel fresh to me. It was exciting to see Byeol pursuing her passion after seeing the advertisement. I felt like I was along for the ride with her while reading.

I think one of my favorite parts was when the girls practiced together for the first time. I enjoyed their dynamics and seeing Byeol's relationships with the girls progress.

When we learned that the girls are having financial struggles, that felt all too real to me. These girls gave up everything to pursue their dreams, and it makes sense that they're having money problems while trying to get the band off the ground. I actually think their struggles with that could be played up more because it makes the stakes higher for them to make it as musicians.

Characters: 10/10

I found myself rooting for Byeol almost right away. Her inner turmoil of whether to pursue her passion and have her mother be disappointed in her is something a lot of readers can probably relate to. This isn't a critique, just something I'm interested in, but I'd like to know more about Byeol's passion for music, like how she discovered her love of playing guitar, etc.

I liked that we got a little bit of info about Byeol being an only child and the loneliness she felt growing up. I think you could sprinkle in more details like that about her childhood throughout so that readers can get to know her more as a character.

Ji-yeon, Byeol's mother, is a single mother who's really hard on Byeol and tries to prevent Byeol from pursuing music. While sometimes Ji-yeon can be strict, reading from her point of view, I got the feeling that it was coming from a place of love. When Byeol leaves to move into the dorms, my heart kind of breaks for the mother. I think the mom's characterization is really well done because she feels very real. I would just be careful not to write the mother as too much of a "villain" for Byeol in future chapters. It's important to humanize her as a character as well.

The other musicians in the band were also fun to read. You gave them all distinct personalities which can sometimes be difficult when introducing several characters at once. I really liked Lilliana in particular, like when she helps Byeol get adjusted to her new environment. I'm looking forward to learning more about all of the girls, as well as reading about the newly-introduced boy band!

Overall Enjoyability: 9/10

This story is highly entertaining. I think a lot of people who write stories similar to this do so in a way that nothing about it is believable. The way you write the musicians' journeys, however, feels realistic, and I never got bored reading it. I could definitely picture this premise being a K-drama I'd binge on Netflix! I also wanted to add that the song lyrics/references were a nice touch. Such a fun read!

Total: 46/50