“Sailing to the Cursed Destiny”

Story by Jancey_Selcouth

Reviewer: marshaa1306

Title/Cover - 9/10
The title is okay, but it’s not very smooth sounding or catchy. I liked your previous title “Seafaring Raiders” better because it conveys the same message as the current title while being more concise.
The cover encapsulates your story well. I like how you used gold and the image of the skull.  It has an old-timey, almost vintage vibe while retaining a pirate theme.

Blurb - 10 points
Your blurb has all the right elements, but they’re in the wrong order. First, take the paragraph that reads “Everyone has a Secret, Good or Bad, a Truth to be told, a Story to be heard” and put it at the top of your blurb. That should be the first thing your readers see when they scroll down from the cover. It’ll set the tone and foreshadow what will happen in the story.
Second, delete the original first paragraph about Prince Jimin being kidnapped. You can work that detail into a later paragraph; it doesn’t really make sense in the place it’s in right now.
Third, weave Jimin’s kidnapping into the paragraph about how he thinks he can capture the sisters. It could read something like this: “Prince Jimin thinks with the help of his three Mages, the Kim brothers, he will somehow capture the evil sisters and imprison them. However, the sisters do not fall so easily. They kidnap the Prince, holding him hostage in their ship. They continue sailing, planning to sacrifice Jimin. The longer Jimin stays on the ship, the more is revealed concerning the sisters, secrets that the world has never known.” Also, if the Kim brothers are also captured, make sure to include that. It was unclear in your blurb. After this paragraph, keep the question that you have already written (the one about Jimin becoming a sacrifice or saving himself and his companions).
Fourth, take out the little excerpt at the end of the blurb. It doesn’t make any sense where it is placed. Ideally, you should end your blurb with the question and leave your readers hanging. That way, they’ll be more likely to want to read the actual story.
To summarize, your blurb should be ordered like this: 1) the paragraph about everyone having secrets, 2) the paragraph about Captains Marcelline and Caritas, 3) the paragraph about Jimin being captured, and 4) the question. Structuring your blurb like this will help it to be more concise and pack a greater punch.

Other critiques:

Since the rest of your story isn’t published yet, I’ll give my thoughts on the parts that are available to me. I like how you give an extensive list of pirate speech and show pictures of all your characters. It makes your story a lot easier to understand, and the pictures make visualizing things more realistic.
Your prologue was amazing. I played the song that you recommended, and it went along with the story perfectly. Throughout the entirety of the prologue, I had a vivid picture in my head of everything that was happening. I could practically hear the captain’s airy voice lofting over the ship as her sword was thumping over the planks. I could feel man’s helplessness as he lay dying during whatever horrific ritual the captain was performing. It was some really nice writing. If the rest of your story is anything like the prologue, I’ll be back to read it.
As far as grammar goes, I did spot some minor mistakes. I think they could be fixed with a little proofreading.

Closing Thoughts:
There will be no total score in my review since I only properly reviewed two aspects of your story.
This story has a hefty amount of potential. I hope that you continue writing it. It’s been an honor being part of your writing journey!