The Inception of Doom
Thank you Kattyfish03 for your time and trust.
This is yet another book on forbidden and forced love.

Reviewer: MissRut

The Cover:  It is safe to say that the cover is a bit of a letdown. The concept of illustration is recycled, obviously, but it still lacks what makes it unique. The text stands out fine in any case thus making it acceptable, but I suggest a different approach when it comes to this kind of theme for a book. 4 points.

The Title: This book’s title holds quite a lot of weight. However, I am torn between dismissing it and trying to take it seriously. The word ‘doom’ implies ruination or quite a terrible fate. Seeing that the book is not finished, I am in no position to say that it has lived up to its title yet, though there are already enough mishaps to contribute to the result. The ‘beginning of ruination’ has indeed begun. 4 points.

The Blurb: In one word, it is repetitive. Repetitive by stressing over and over that the main characters are going to have the worst twist of fate in, initially poetic lines, and then little snippets of actual scenes with a metaphorical veil. Not bad. I do think that readers would have gotten the gist from the first couple of lines. 3 points.

The setting: I have always found Europe fascinating and never have I thought going to a university in London to be some small feat. I also heard, read, and learnt that France is quite the interesting place; plenty of sights to see, interesting landmarks; something London also seems to have in abundance even though it is hardly included in the book. There is nothing more refreshing to the mind of a reader than being able to see what the character sees, but in their mind’s eye. This book seems to take that from them. The characters seem to be stuck in some overly realistic bubble with nothing else to take into note. Is there more beyond the Williams’s family mansion? What kind of library did Mellissa work in? Where was it? Landmarks? Places the characters hung out while in France? The hotel is found where?
Questions like these need expatiations simply because we, the readers, would do anything for details. Surely, present day Europe can be a treat, can it not? 11 points.

The Plot: This is supposed to be a story on forbidden love. The kind of love forbidden by nature, class, circles, backgrounds, and every other thing imaginable. A magnificent plot if I may add because it is hard to expect a happy conclusion. The major element lacking, however, is a fundamental ‘reason’ or the history behind such a disposition that is beyond the control of those thrown into it. This should not be rushed. 7 points.

The Characters: I find it hard to believe Blake is anywhere near intelligent with the way he goes about his affairs. Taking a girl into captivity is one thing but how you do it is another. I wonder what kind of upbringing he and his brother had to think that holding a gun to the temple of the girl you claim to love was the best way for her to listen to you after murdering her lecturer simply because she was running late. At least he lives up to being twisted. The how's are the only snag I find to be cringe-worthy including his over usage of an overused pet name. His number character flaw is clearly his short temper. Hard to empathize with when he stands alone but easy to sympathize with when circumstances do the talking.
Mellissa seems to be more difficult than necessary. True that being held captive in a place far from home and everyone you know, and love can make you irrational but that is not supposed to rule out every other thought process. She is made to seem like a strong person but can hardly hold herself together to make choices or save her own neck.
Andrew would have been quite the sweetheart if he did not pull the trigger on anyone before getting anywhere in the book.
Ella is an important secondary character with a well-hidden past and friend to Mellissa and the two could not be more different. Mellissa’s mother gives off a Mrs Weasly persona (from Harry Potter) and her father seems odd but in comparison to Mr. Williams? He is obviously the rainbow. The latter is your typical stiff-necked piece of work any kid would hate as a gift unless he is Luca; a ruthless git.
Important secondary characters are Martha and Mrs. Williams who are not independent characters, and then Luca’s father who is just as much of a git as his son. 4 points.

The Content: The story is severely lacking in depth to say the least. There are, of course, triggering scenes as promised; a whole lot of them. In fact, they make up 80% of the entire book thus making the story less exciting. Inasmuch as the book is supposed to be a written nightmare for the characters, the total absence of another quality is far from satisfactory. The richer the story the more satisfying it is to any audience. 14 points

Writing Style: The author’s writing style is devoid of color. Not enough of so many properties and an overdose of very few that tear down the plot ultimately. One needs to feel their own writing to create the right environment for their story to thrive. The rushed narrative is another huge damper that cannot be overlooked. It is important to take time with your own story. Don’t be too hasty to let it grow. 7 points.

Grammar, Vocabulary& Sentence structure: Yet another feature with several snags. I think the main issue was with expressions which let on to multiple grammatical errors pushing at the limits of a limited vocabulary and finally to excessive repetition.
Word arrangement decides how well messages are interpreted as well as said word choices. The paragraph below is the third one from chapter twenty-four, written from Andrew’s perspective and selected at random.
‘He has been acting weird since we came here, the place where she lives. In the presence of Luca, he never sits quiet, his rage is on fire whenever that jerk is around and now that Blake is dead silent, it is making me more anxious. The trait of being calm, that he forgot the day he let her go’.
The second sentence can be rewritten as follows;
He is always in a rage when Luca is present. Never calm nor collected around that jerk. His silence unnerves me.
Expression is key.
I will add that one does not develop a calm “trait”. A trait is inherited. Saying that “he lapsed into silence...” is more effective. The last part of the sentence, however, is difficult to understand. 14 points.

Engagement with readers: I would say it is barely engaging simply because so far it is clear that the story has more volume than it holds any meaning. It is easy to start reading and at once cast aside just because it is hard to connect to. 11 points.

Total Points: 79/100