REVIEWER: _Swaralee_

CLIENT: LokiBear1235

Thank you for choosing me to review your book!

Cover: 06/10

While the presence of a wolf on the cover immediately establishes the theme/genre of the story, the overall cover design, unfortunately, falls short in some aspects. The title remains obscured, and the editing could benefit more from some improvement. Given that the majority of the story, with the exception of the first few chapters, doesn't directly relate to Fangoria's wolf form, the presence of a wolf on the cover might perplex and disorient potential readers. With this in mind, I recommend considering a cover redesign. Opt for an image that encapsulates the entirety of the story rather than just selected segments. Ensure the title is both clear and prominently visible. It would greatly enhance the overall presentation.

Title: 09/10

"Fangoria: The Last Wolf" is a strong and evocative title. It introduces the main character, Fangoria, and shows her unique status as "the last wolf," which suggests a sense of rarity and importance to her character. It also implies a connection to her journey and transformation, creating intrigue for potential readers.

Blurb: 07/10

Your book blurb sets up an intriguing premise. It introduces the main character, Fangoria, her tragic past, and the transformation she undergoes due to the scientists' experiments. The promise of her becoming a shapeshifter and seeking vengeance adds an element of excitement and suspense.

However, I found that something is lacking about it. I found some errors as well. For example, consider adding specific details about the world or setting in which the story takes place. This can help readers better visualize the environment and context better. Emphasize the obstacles Fangoria faces on her journey to seek vengeance. What challenges will she encounter? What is at stake if she fails?

Include a hook or a question that piques the reader's curiosity and makes them want to dive into the story. For example, you could hint at a turning point or a moral dilemma Fangoria may face. That will make the blurb so much more intriguing. I could suggest a revised blurb if you want, I would like to help.

Opening/first impression: 09/10

Your opening scene sets a tense and dramatic tone for your short story. It immediately immerses the reader in a crisis situation, which can be a compelling way to grab their attention. The sense of urgency, danger, and the bond within the family create a gripping atmosphere. This opening scene seems like a great way to start, drawing readers into the world you're creating. We can understand the urgency of the situation as well as Fangoria's.

Plot: 09/10

In a nutshell, the plot revolves around Fangoria, who, after losing her family in a wildfire and undergoing scientific experiments, gains the ability to shapeshift. Fueled by grief and a desire for revenge against humanity, she embarks on a perilous journey of vengeance.

What an intense and interesting plotline. I personally haven't read such stories featuring these plotlines but I truly relished knowing about Fangoria and her story. It has the potential to be both engaging and thought-provoking. With Fangoria's character development and her journey as a shapeshifter at the core, the success of the story will ultimately depend on how these elements are developed and executed further into the narrative.

Dialogues: 09/10

Dialogues allow you to reveal a character's personality, beliefs, emotions, and motivations through their words and interactions. What a character says, how they say it, and what they choose to talk about can tell readers a lot about them. They advance the plot, help in world-building, and sometimes introduce conflict and drama.

You have done a good job with the dialogue. All of the things mentioned above were achieved. I could differentiate each character from the other. I could understand their voices and personalities.

Characters: 06/10

Our central character, Fangoria, is pretty well-written. She's a fighter. However, except for the first chapter, she wasn't the 'main character' for the next few chapters. Doctors experimenting on her, injecting chemicals and stuff aside, we don't get to see much about her mental status. She just sort of... accepts everything. This is one of the difficult tasks of writing a short story: character portrayal and development. We aren't with the characters for a meaningful amount of time, and that becomes challenging to make them feel human-like. Yes, she becomes this badass stunning woman, but how is she really feeling about it all? My suggestion would be to work more on her character, not just surface level but in depth.

Quality of conflict: 09/10

A conflict should be multi-dimensional and complex, allowing for character growth and moral dilemmas. In this case, conflict involves Fangoria's transformation into a shapeshifter and her quest for vengeance against humanity. All of this already hints at the complexity of the story. Quality-wise, it's immaculate.

Fangoria's actions may have far-reaching consequences, which can heighten the tension and interest in the conflict. Stakes-wise, this is perfect. The higher the stakes, the higher the rate of her failure and the higher the rate of the reader's curiosity. So great job there.

Writing skills: 08/10

The writing style demonstrates a strong foundation for your story. Some of the observations I made are; engaging descriptions. Though the blurb lacked some of it, it will be enjoyable for readers. It's action-packed and suspenseful. It keeps the pacing quick and maintains the reader's interest.

The grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation are generally well-structured. The tense is maintained, sentence structure is quite good. You have a good command over your writing skills.

However, I would suggest developing a voice that suits the mood and themes of your story. Whether it's a dark and brooding tone or a more introspective one, a consistent voice can create a cohesive reading experience. Also, the current voice tells us the story, it doesn't show us. So try and balance that out.

Reader enjoyment: 07/10

I'm new to this kind of storyline and genre, and I must say, I was happily surprised by how much I enjoyed it. The story, despite being a short story, keeps you engaged and moves forward swiftly. While it's not typically the type of story I tend to gravitate towards, I found myself thoroughly immersed in it. For those who appreciate stories that keep a brisk pace, I believe this story will be a delightful choice for them.

Total: 79/100

Other suggestions:

As I mentioned earlier, there is room for enhanced character development for Fangoria. Given her unique transformation from a non-human to a human, delving deeper into this transformation experience could significantly enrich the narrative. How did this transformation impact her perception of the world? It would be fascinating to explore this aspect of the story in more detail. Also, a more robust world-building effort would contribute to a more immersive reading experience. Nonetheless, it's worth noting that the story itself holds considerable intriguing points. Best of luck with your future writing journey!