There was a loud crash in Sans' laboratory, startling the skeleton. He looked up from his paperwork, turning slightly in his chair. In the doorway stood two skeletons, both looking similar yet different to Sans. He stared at them for a few minutes before letting out a long sigh, massaging his nasal bone. 

"What now?" He hissed, looking irritated. 

"W-Well...uh..." The first skeleton stuttered, fidgeting with their long, tannish scarf. "The thing is..." 

"HE BE PREGGO." The second interrupted, his jet black bones unmistakable. 

Sans gave the two a look. "How. in the f*ck. did that happen?" The scientist hissed, waving his hands in exaggerated confusion. 

Both skeletons, somehow with the absence of blood, blushed. "W-We...uhh..." The first went quiet as the second let out a groan.

"WE DID THE DEED."
((ate sandwiches and kissed, idk X''D)) 

"I- Wha- How- You know what," Sans stood from his chair, walking up to the two. "I won't even ask."

~

Sans blinked, staring into the second room that he didn't have a day ago. "The fuuu??" It looked to be a small hospital room, fit with all of the equipment needed to help pregnancy. Sans turned around, looking at the two. "When did...Wha... Did you do this??" 

"You've always had this??" The second skeleton said as if it was obvious. Sans stared at the room, still questioning his reality as he knew it. 

Suddenly, the first skeleton collapsed dramatically in the second's arms, now seemingly distraught. 

"DA BB IS COMING." The second screeched. 

"Wait, what the f*ck." Sans pushed up his glasses. "Why aren't you at a hospital??" 

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A DOCTOR!" The first wailed, somehow not in pain. 

"I'm a SCIENTIST. WE ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS PEOPLE." Sans growled, feeling as if he had to backhand these two. 

"SAME DIFFERENCE, NOW HELP US." The second screeched, glitching a little. 

"I DON'T HAVE THE PROPER TRAINING WITH THESE EQUIPMENT, GO TO A HOSPITAL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD." 

The pair of skeletons refused to listen, bolting into the room. The second set the first skeleton down onto the bed, looking over at Sans. "Do Something!" 

If Sans had hair, he'd be pulling it out by now. "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING." 

"YES YOU CAN, YOU'RE A DOCTOR." 

"SINCE WHEN??" 

"SINCE FOREVER???" 

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A MEDICAL DEGREE????" 

"YES! YOU'RE WEARING A DOCTOR'S COAT!" 

"LAB. COAT." 

"AND YOU HAVE GLASSES!" 

"WHAT DOES GLASSES HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?!?!?!?"  

The first one screamed in pain as the second turned to the other dramatically, giving the skeleton comforting kisses (despite not having lips). Sans stared at the two, trying to calm himself down. "Look, you guys probably both have teleportation or portal magic. Since I understand that you both know plenty of worlds, you could PROBABLY go to a hospital somewhere." 

"THERE ISN'T ANY TIME!" 

Sans wanted to flip a desk. "YES THERE IS! PORTALS TAKE LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS." 

"WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME! YOU'RE A DOCTOR!" 

"NO I'M NOT, HOW CAN I EXPRESS TH-" 

Suddenly, something whacked Sans upside the head, causing the skeleton to stumble. When he came to, he turned around and saw a person holding a bat labeled, 'Plot Convenience'.
"What the-"
In that moment, Sans gained all of the knowledge of a skilled doctor. The person then vanished into nothingness, leaving Sans completely confused. He quickly turned around. "Wha..." 

"HELP MEH CHILD." The second screamed, causing Sans to reel back and start rushing to get things prepared.

~

Somehow, in some way, the child was born. The first skeleton held it in his arms, cradling it gently and smiling softly. The second was at his side, his smile matching. 

Sans, on the other hand, was utterly bitter and wanted to throw the baby out the window. 

The first skeleton looked at Sans, grinning. "Thank you... Sci." 

"It's Sans." Sans answered, taking off the medical gloves that he magically got. 

"Nah, I'm pretty sure it's Sci." The second chuckled. 

Sans looked at the two before leaving. "You know what, I don't care at this point."

~~~

After taking a coffee break, Sans could finally get back to his papers, looking through them and transferring them onto his computer. He was about to finish when someone basically kicked his door open, causing the skeleton to flinch. 

"SCIIIIIII!" A voice yelled, a smaller version of himself exclaiming. 

"It's SANS." 

"What did you want to show me?" The skeleton asked, completely ignoring Sans' correction. 

The scientist sighed, turning over to his chemicals. "Well, I've been working on a substance that could give monsters a temporary magic boost." The other skeleton's eyes turned to stars and they rushed over to the chemicals, awe-struck. Sans got up from his chair, walking over cautiously. "However, it's still experimental and I need a subject. I called you over to see if it would be alright-" 

"YES, YES, YES!" The smaller shouted, his eyes basically stars. 

"Wait, you need to fill out forms of consent first and I need to tell you what it does in depth-" Without warning, the second skeleton snatched the bottle and downed the whole thing. Sans stood there, wide-eyed. He quickly grabbed the smaller's shoulders, nearly ripping their blue scarf. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" 

The smaller giggled and, in an odd turn of events, he grew cat ears and a tail. 

Sans blinked. "Wha..." 

"OH MY GOD, I LOOK ADORABLE!!" The smaller squealed, their ears and tail moving. 

Sans ran over to his papers, looking through them, the words "PLOT CONVENIENCE" Scribbled over all of them. "Wait, I don't understand, this was supposed to affect the soul, not the physical nature-" 

"Bye Sci! I wanna show all of my friends!" 

Sans quickly turned to the smaller. "WAIT, YOU CAN'T LEAVE! THE SIDE-EFFECTS COULD BE-" And he vanished. "...Fatal." 

Sans pushed up his glasses, groaning. "Why do I even bother...?"

~~~

Sans was enjoying a quiet day, analyzing and rewriting some theories he had when suddenly, three skeletons came crashing in. Sans peered up, not even surprised to find one holding a large paintbrush, one adorning a blue scarf, and one wearing a golden cape. 

"Sci, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!!" 

Sans raised a non-existent eye-brow. "Are you three even police officers-" Quickly, the blue one grabbed Sans' hands and put them behind his back, taking out a random rope (that was not there before) and tied it around his hands. "W-WAIT, WHAT!?" 

The leader, the one with the paint brush, stormed up to him. "You've been conducting dangerous experiments with live subjects against their will!" 

"I'VE DONE NO SUCH THING!!!" 

The one with the paintbrush growled. "DON'T DENY IT! HERE'S PROOF!!" He shoved a document into Sans' face, the words "PLOT CONVENIENCE" Written in bold on them. 

"WHAT!? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING OF THE SORT! ARE YOU GUYS EVEN REAL COPS!?!" 

"We're the guardians of the multiverse!" The one in the yellow cape yelled. 

Sans let out a long sigh. "Oooof course you are." 

"NOW YOU'LL PAY BY GOING TO PRISON OR DEATH." 

Sans blinked. "WAIT, I PLEAD UNGUILTY! I HAVE A LIABILITY, ALL OF MY FRIENDS CAN VOUCH FOR ME!" 

"What friends?" The blue one asked. 

Sans gave him a shocked look. "EVERYONE IN THE UNDERGROUND!" 

"Lol, you're supposed to be a shallow character we can go to for our problems, Sci." The leader laughed, as if not taking the skeleton seriously. 

Sans' gaze faltered. "Shallow character?" 

"Yeah! There aren't any interesting stories about you other than the ones with you and Fell." 

"WH-WHAT?!" 

"You're the smart one that always has a solution, Sci!" the blue one squeaked. "A plot convenience." 

Sans froze. "..." 

"Anyways, let's just stop this mad man while we still can!" The one in the yellow cape proclaimed. They all nodded and aimed their weapons at Sans. 

Then, Sans was no more.

~~~

"A plot convenience, huh."  Sans growled, staring into his coffee mug. 

He didn't understand.
He wasn't the smart one.
In fact, he was a scientist, someone which sought out knowledge to understand the world better. He was just like anyone else, the only thing setting him apart was his thirst for knowledge. 

He let out a sigh. 

He was doomed to be the smart one, in a way. Whenever there was a crisis, he always had to be the helping hand. Hell, the people which came to him were way more omnipotent and wise than he was. They saw countless of worlds and met countless people while he was trapped in the underground, still scrambling for some sort of answer on escape. 

The more he thought about it, the more it dawned upon him that he never received help from anyone else. Everyone came to him for their problems without even considering his life, his situation, or his feelings. 

The mug Sans had been holding crashed to the floor, breaking into millions of shards. He really was just a plot convenience. Something for people to use as a scapegoat. 

He laughed bitterly at the thought, holding his skull. 

Maybe he should quit being a scientist.

Maybe that will stop him from being a simple excuse.

He looked up at the pale ceiling.

What would he do then?

Honestly, science is what drove him to become who he is now.
It's a shame that science was also what drove him to become an easy excuse.
So what would he do now? 

Sans stared at the floor, the brown liquid slowly expanding on the tile floor. He wasn't as powerful as the others. He couldn't travel across worlds or meet countless of people. 

What would he do then? 

That was when a white cat appeared. 

It walked up to the broken shards of the mug and simply looked up at the skeleton lost in thought. 

"Someone doomed to be a plot convenience." The cat spoke. Sans' gaze was soon fixated with the cat. It continued. "Through all of the countless worlds and universes I have seen, there was always one person which was the all knowing besides the obvious protectors and destroyers." 

They set a paw on his shoe, smiling. "You aren't what everyone expects you to be. You aren't wise or knowledgeable. You just make mistakes and learn from them." Sans crouched down to the cat, curious as to how it was talking. "A scientist. Someone which wants to learn more about this world than most anyone else." 

The cat then raised their paw, as if offering a hand to him. "Would you like to understand the world a little better or stay something that you don't wish to be?" 

Sans stared at the cat, suspicious. "What are you?" 

The cat grinned. "I'm someone which believes in you, Sans." 

The skeleton still didn't trust the cat completely. "If you're just going to use me like everyone else has, then I suggest you leave." 

The cat sighed. "This is your last chance. Are you willing to take the risk of something unknown or stay in the dark forever?" 

Sans paused, thinking for a moment.

What would happen if he were to take this thing's word?
Would he be able to do the things he hoped for or would it leave him to perish? 

He couldn't read the cat, making his decision more difficult. With a heavy sigh, he took the cat's paw. "My life is already hell. Bring it on." He said with a low tone, accepting his decision fully. 

The cat brightened and Sans suddenly surged with new found power, his eye-sockets wide. The new magic flowing through his system nearly tore him apart, but cooled down to a low as he stared at his own hands in shock. 

Sans quickly looked over to the cat, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. "What did you do to me??" 

The cat got to their feet. "I gave you what you wanted. The power to explore different worlds and meet new people." 

Sans blinked. "How???" 

The cat smiled, their figure vanishing as their parting words lingered in the still air. "Let's just say the plot convenience of not a skeleton, but a creator".

And thus, A Philomath was born.