She Fell From Nowhere Part 1 by OmkarSamadhanDebaje
Warnings: Mild Cursing, Light Gore
*Ongoing*
Sci-Fi,Horror, Psychological
Rated Young Adult

{"It means memories can be overwritten.
Paper trails planted. I'm not just integrating...
I'm infecting" -Nara }

Blurb 4/10:
Messy. I understand what the author's intent was but I'm reviewing it like a book not an Anime so take my review with a salt block (it's used for livestock).

"Ren Misaki, a 17-year-old loner haunted by his best friend's suicide is about to become the next victim... until SHE crashes into him" This is good stuff. The rest of the blurb, I think is too much. I capitalized 'She' as it grabs the eyes attention and makes readers ask questions. Like who is SHE?

Your characters can be silly boogers in a mature story but I don't want to hear about it in the blurb makes the story not feel mature. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood has this format and is memorable for "Big Brother" scene (Episode title: Night of the Chimera's Cry) and not the silliness that ensues with in the story. I am still not over it and its been four years.

Beginning 3/10
I am cracking my knuckles on this one before I type. I loathe the chapter description. I think the author is going for an episode synopsis situation but as a book it spoils the contents for the reader. I have chapter descriptions myself but they are on Google Docs or a unpublished chapter for only me to look at and not for readers to see. So I personally do not have to reread everything.

Is it supposed to be formatted like a script? If it is I recommend do research on how to format one as I dislike using 'Part 1' and such as a chapter divider. I do not know the author's age but it's very similar to when I started Wattpad around fifteen/sixteen.

The first chapter is all over the place? I would probably like it more if it was first person through Ren Misaki's eyes. As he is so interesting although Nara is my favorite character but I might change my mind later.

They have a meeting like Starfire and Robin. Starfire lands on Robin on their first encounter and she kisses him so she can speak English. This is to communicate with humans. As its how her species works. Nara licks Ren which doesn't really have a purpose so far??

I do very much like this line "Her Japanese was fluent, but off. Too Perfect." I would italicize 'too perfect' to add suspense. I definitely think there needs balance.

Plot 6/10:
It gets lost as I thought it is was about a guy trying to help a girl out by preventing her from getting taken. Sci-fi damsel in distress type situation. I was wrong and now I'm confused. It started that way and it feels like I have no answers. My pockets are empty, no answers in them.

World Building 6/10:
I like the FOLD and how it hurts my brain. I think using Nara as a information dump mixed with the wispy of nonsense was a smart idea. Its a cliche but it's well done. I do the scenes need dragged out longer. I don't know much information on the main character.

Characters 6/10:
Nara- She does random things that have no explanation. She drinks soy sauce at one point. Maybe have her crave salt? As tears are salty and she did say she likes sad Ren. This could also be the reason why she licks people and things.

Ren- Main Character and I am as confused as he is. He kinda feels meh. As he has no backstory besides a dead friend. Where's his parents? I don't have sympathy for him. Yes, suicide is not great but I don't know why he wants to commit it as he seems not effected by the smiling suicide virus thing.

Kazuto- The Dead friend who I don't care about as there's no information or memories mentioned of him and Ren.

Rectifiers- I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Creepy big boys.

Character Designs 3/10:
I had to do most of the work myself on coming up with appearances for the characters expect a few descriptions on Nara's freaky eyes. I thought of there uniforms being blue with maroon ties. So these are the anime characters of current media, I pictured them resembling and why.

Ren- (Ryūji Takasu from Toradora!) Not conventionally attractive, looks kinda upset like the world is always against him, unstyled hair. This makes him feel like he constantly grieving his friend. Has a blue color palette to reflect his turmoil.

Nara- (Ayame Sohma from Fruits Basket, I know Ayame is a man but the vibe is there) Very beautiful, has eyes that are hiding everything behind them even as voids, has a confidence. Lean and taller that Ren has an other worldly beauty. Pretty Privilege ✨.

Kazuto- (Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach) The get up and go look, could take someone in a fight, needs a haircut. Orange was mentioned a few times and thought it would give good foreshadowing. Definitely a delinquent. Some how makes friends. Would sacrifice himself.

Relationships 3/10:
Not enough bonding for me to actually care about their dynamic. I have no reason to believe Nara or Ren should care about the other. He got stuck with her basically. He should no compassion and she just velcroed herself to him.

Kazuto and Ren's friendship is supposed to be a catalyst and I have no cares for Kazuto. I don't know why they are friends or how they interacted. Maybe that's a future discussion of Ren slowly forgetting who Kazuto was to him.

Grammar 9/10:
High marks on Grammar. Just some of the sentences fell off which could be more me than the author.

Dialogue 5/10:
I typed out only the pieces of dialogue I liked as I thought they were very well done. A lot of the dialogue doesn't feel natural on Ren's part enough thought he's human. He needs to be more emotional.

-"Guess you saved my life."

"No," she said, "I think I ruined your death."

-"I like this place It's full of broken things pretending to be straight. "

Last Published Chapter 5/10:
What just happened? I can't even explain the headache I just went through. It feels like it changed directions for the plot. I did enjoy the cliffhanger despite this.

Overall 50/100:
My thoughts hurt. I feel like I started to read a fever dream after chapter six where the formatting approved. I think the characters need fleshed out more so I can care for them before they get screwed over by whatever in the Sword Art Online hellscape the author put them in.

Is definitely psychological as I got confused along my trip to glitch ville. That was probably the whole point of the book... But I still have questions. Why does Nara lick things? Is it like a sensory thing? Quirks need a purpose and I enjoy her saying off putting things but it has it's place. Murderbot by Martha Wells is a good example of it.

What do you mean one of the Rectifier's drew Ren's name in the sky? Where are Ren's parents? Why does he live in apartment by himself? Where's Ren and Nara's chemistry as at least friends? Why are Kazuto and Ren friends? What was there friendship like? How has the lost affected Ren? Can I legally marry a Rectifier or have on as a pet if they live outside time? And if I could can the author be the officiant?